Despise Being A CNA!!!!! And An UPDATE : I Hate My Job Story & Experience
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Despise Being A CNA!!!!! And An UPDATE
Hate. Loathe. Revile.There aren't words in any language that describe how I feel. All I can say is THANK GOD for this website or else there would have been a rising body count a long time ago! I consider myself a patient person, I try to get along with people. I'm not perfect and I will be honest and say I am human and don't always do what I should, I get mean and I have my failings. There's no shame in that because I know I can always try again. Case in point, the beginning of this year I busted a)s)s finally getting my CNA certificate then I got a job at a local nursing home. Didn't really want to work there however it was a good pay for being privately owned so I swallowed my pride and accepted the job. For a bit I was alright the midnight shift was good and all was well. But now I'm starting to see why we have such a high turnover the higher ups (including the night nurses) are pompus a-holes and thats being nice. I like only the adminastrator of the facility and one of the older nurses, I will say she isn't all that good at her job. But she leaves me alone so I consider it an even trade-off for the screw-ups she causes and I clean up. The other night nurse is a grade A B)I)T)C)H for some reasogn lately shek has singled me out of the herd because I'm new and assumes I can't do my job without her express guidence. Always giving me lectures and chewing me out even going so far as to write me up. All because another CNA I usually work with and sits on her backside with this particular nurse while I'm running round doing all the grunt work (answering call lights, stocking cart, etc.) Was apparently feeling bored and decided to make up a story that i was screwing up the residents dentures and to top it all off the nurse picked up the ball and added on that I also induced violent patient behavior in two people who are known frior being tempermental and manipulative. And the only thIng that happened was this nurse believed that one woman when she told her she hadn't been taken to the bathroom when she had just gotten out of it so was fishing for attention by going to this nurse when we wouldn't take her again. The other woman didn't want to get up ouut of bed that morning and so I was waiting for her to calm down by doing another resident first. And since I was in the nurses line of sight guess who got picked!! And when I truthfully told her what was going on she was only offended that her ego was punctured that her command wasn't instantly obeyed. I was also flabergasted when she also threw in my face that she talks to the owner everyday and while the denture issue was normally grounds for instant termination she would rather be watching me closely from now on. I was given nothing to sign or any chance to contest this blatant stupidity. I consider myself a good CNA, yes I make mistakes my worst being new is that I'm a little slower. Big Deal right and I have been thru a LOT. I diaper and wipe backsides, dress and feed, put up with, clean up after. Been groped, slapped and propositioned, ended up with puenomna which I'm still getting over, having to deal with thw smells and do all that and more crap that is NOT in my job description as a start to the matter!!!. While I hate the job, I am ALWAYS on time, do my job and follow the rules. There is crap I know about going on behind this Know-it-alls back with other CNA's at my facility that would make her do a double take question just "who" was better at their job. I've even seen her little 'pet' lie to her face to actually not have to get up off her a)s)s and work that 'I' do anyway so I don't see how it would matter to her. And that CNA even has encouraged me to lie to this nurse as well..Uh after the crap she pulled on me. Not happenin!!! More recently, this nurses buddy/owner of facility who nine times out of ten just comes in in the morning gets a cup of coffee from dietary crabs/barks orders at at whoever is unfortunate enough to be in her path, looks important for ten minates at most. Then runs to her office for an hour before going home for the rest of the day. She dominates our inservice ranting and raving about a lot of crap mostly on the recent state inspection. Basically mostly how many fines shes gonna have to fork over, so its only really about her pocketbook and not being able to get another diamond ring or go to a day spa, even ordering lunch in from an expensive resturant in at the drop of a hat. Aww too bad sweetheart...you're gonna have to live like the rest of us little people and live on tap water and McDonalds for a while. I hear the world's smallest violin weeping tears of blood for you. Before this broad even has the nerve to threaten to pull our certificates with the state just for being in a sour mood. I am dreading tonight because this nurse got a special chewing out yesterday with the other facility nurses and shes probably going to be looking for a target to vent on...guess who thats gonna be?! Ugh! This used to be a somewhat nice place to work, I'm NOT Superman I can't do more than I'm able physically or otherwise nor am I happy about having to walk on eggshells every moment I go to work. I'm there to take care to take care of people not be a glorified doormat!!! The nurse does nothing but get underfoot of us who actually 'do' work, sits on her fat backside and pretends to look important. Apparently I'm just there to save her back and take her crap. Between the choice of eating or starving,I am very grateful I have a job in this economy but I'm not ruining myself for anybody!!! As soon as I am able I am SO GONE!!! I have gotten to the point where I cry almost everyday, I am so stressed out. My body has gotten to the point it refuses to go to sleep because when the alarm clock goes off I have to go back to hell and I cry more. I have residentss telling me to go to hell almost everyday all I do is reply I'm already there. Cause its true!!! People who say its a labor of love to be a CNA is right, the pay is crap! For me this job is only a paycheck, nobody will get hurt or die under my watch but aside of a handful of people out of a hundred. I couldn't care less about everyone else if there was a fire I'd save myself first and foremost. I have a birthday coming up I want to see it!
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UPDATE 2/22/13:
This was written on shift on my blackberry almost 2 years ago when I was stressed out and depressed. Which accounted for the poor grammar and spelling, I wasn’t too good with that small a keyboard yet. This w still a lot has changed since then. Instead of working at a 10 dollar an hour, 40 hour a week job, which I was literally forced to quit because of my co-workers. I now work 2 jobs one at an Assisted Living complex and an in Home Health gig, both for about the same as a fast food wage.
And while now I admit, my health has somewhat improved because I
I merely tolerate it until I find something better.
Anyway, I’ve wanted to sit down and write this for a while now, but I didn’t really know what to say. So, I’ll just do what I want at the beginning.
First off to the “little charmer” who left me the message that included, “I sincerely hope you don’t work with the elderly.” Hmm, well if you had paid any attention when you read the first part of my post, you would have found that I AM a CNA, so who and the h)e)l)l
else would I be working with, you dingus?!
Myself, and several friends who work in this field had a good laugh over the message though. Because you’re the na?ve ever-newbie sort that we would be most likely to find locked in a bathroom stall, balling hysterically thru your rose colored glasses. “OMG why are they so meannnn to meeee?!!!! They’re supposed to be nice and sweeettttt!!!!!” All the while looking for Cinderella’s fairy godmother to pop up and slap a sparkly band-aid on all your problems, a la Disney style.
You also mentioned that you were a CNA for 4 well that tells me that you are no longer one, for one of several reasons.
---1. You have a significant other, or live with another person (parent, friend or family, etc.) who makes enough income that what you made was not necessary, so you left.2. You have a trust fund or some other type of income, i.e. financial loans or went back to school or etc., which enabled you to leave.3. What I think is the most likely reason, you like a high number of people succumbed to what is commonly known as burnout. And would have rather accepted the stigma of unemployment in your own home, because you finally figured out that s)h)i)t smeared paper in a clogged toilet bowl is treated with more respect than you are as a human being.
Look down your nose at me all you want, but I am being honest. Yes, I like a lot of people am doing this job for one purpose only a. PAY. CHECK!!!! Yep and I’m not ashamed of it, I got into CNA work because I am in a small town that has next to no good jobs and I needed something fast that was relatively stable. Because in case you haven’t noticed, this country is still in a crappy recession. I don’t care what our stupid government says and jobs are hard to come by, especially “good” ones. I took what I had to, in order to be a responsible adult and pay my bills, get food to eat, gas in my car to get to those jobs, and keep a roof over my head, among other things.
I am luckier than some, but I won’t apologize for my opinion, especially about the elderly people I work with.
Who I have found the majority are lazy, self centered louts who want to pretend they never made a bad choice in their life. They are extremely lucky to be in good enough health NOT to be in a nursing home, which is basically the final end of the road. Unless you are carried out in a body bag, there’s no way out. Because of that they feel smug, and want to believe they are higher than what they are, so not only did their kids dump them on us to get on with their lives. So we're ultimately responsible and yet in return are made to feel make like a boil on the business end of an amoeba’s kiester. Thus giving themselves an ego boost, plus that's on a GOOD day!
I’m not saying that all elderly
in fact I do like several of my people. Because they are kind, polite and are grateful for the help you give them.
However, there are several lessons/things I live by/things I have found are universal in places now being in this line of work.
1.) Never trust anybody! Not co-workers, Administrators or even those residents you do like. Because they are ALL out to get you, even if you do something like breathe wrong in their direction or happen to feel bored. They’ll even make up something to run and tattle to the nearest person in power that they can find.
In a way have never been able to figure out, in places like nursing homes that have no benefits or any type of advancement. My Co-workers I have found in some misguided sense of power play, feel the need for some sort of rigid hierarchy where they band together in little groups to prey on the, good workers, the odd balls and what not just to give themselves a sense of purpose and control. And more often than not, I’ve found if there’s something one or more of them wants, each other.
And if you do make a mistake, and happen to confide in one you think is suddenly your best bud, simply because you went to the bar after work. They WILL you anything against you that they can get away with, be it you didn’t change a residents underpants before shift change or had a parking ticket in high school.2.)The Admins, these people are a sick joke. They DON’T care about you! They are first and foremost looking out for both themselves and ways how to make the most money for the company, thus padding their own retirements. They play heavy favorites, and will give those people freeway to harass other people and turn a blind eye to their “indiscressions”, like taking hour long lunches, or leaving off-site for extended periods. And their so-called “open door policy” is nothing more than revolving doors for those favorites to come in and rat on people actually doing their job, or are jealous of, or more often than not want to hide from doing any actual work.3.) Residents WILL watch you like a hawk just waiting for you to screw up, or if you do something they don’t like. Yes, they WILL behave like giant toddlers and run to Mommy i.e. The DON or in some instants will simply make up stuff. I had that happen to me and I almost lost my job over it, because the woman was a Grade A whiner, and my boss was lazy and didn’t want to deal with her. She also brought in several thousand dollars every month, while I was just a peon who was a dime a dozen and could be easily replaced. So you do the math, fortunately the facility big boss is more sane and believed me over the woman. So I was able to keep my job. But that just goes to show, you can’t trust anybody.
In regards to the giant toddler comment, no matter where you work you are basically working in a glorified day care. All I see is a bunch of people who behave like they are characters in the book, Animal Farm. They behave like uncivilized morons who think they are hot s)h)i)t. Yet like babies, they no longer know the meaning of the words, “please” or “Thank you”.
Mealtimes are the pe I have people raising their glasses and cups shaking them in the air for my attention. Instead of waiting until I pass, then saying they need or want something. They don’t stop talking to their tablemates the whole time usually and I’m ignored unless I bring the desired object, or the get the Jedi Death stare in the back of my skull until I do or don’t bring it quickly enough.
You get constant varying degrees of, “I want” or “I want it NOW or ELSE”.
And you have to bend like a pretzel to prefect the fine Art of B)u)t)t)K)i)s)s)i)n)g, because unlike small children, they have the power to get you “fired” and ruin any future employment prospects!!! They have anything they want for the asking and all they do is complain, about the food, the service, the size of their apartments. Anything! I have client’s in my Home Health gig that would absolutely LOVE to have a home like this, because they are poor and appreciate weither
they get to eat one meal a day, if their lucky.
They have no regard that there are other people besides themselves, that you have to take care of and time is limited for you a lot of the time. So, when they corner you they will keep you hopping for 20 minutes or more for all sorts of stupid stuff. For example, like looking for a 99 cent pink nail file that their grandkid brought them, and they HAVE to have it exactly at a 95 degree angle facing the planet Mars on their head board to ward off the tin-foil hat purple people eaters before they go to bed so they can sleep. Ugh!!!4.) Speaking of weird, older people seem to have this weird avers it might as well be Kryptonite. We had one independent person who was trusted to shower themselves. We didn’t notice anything wrong until a strange intensely gross smell began coming out of their room. Turns out they hadn’t showered in “months” and had nasty sores in very sensitive places, along with they had been using their bathroom for extra closet space. I can’t tell you how many fights I’ve averted, because some old fart wants to take a swing at me for mentioning the very word, “water.” And I’ve lost count how many times that I have covered people in strong perfume/deodorant so they won’t stink of their urine reeking unwashed privates, and nasty underarms among other things in front of their loved ones. I do it discreetly behind their backs much of the time too, so they can’t refuse me doing it because it’s simply the fact they refuse showers or won’t wash/wipe after going.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been urinated and defecated on, simply because these lazy bastards won’t wait till they sit on the toilet when I help them get their pants down.
And what is truly disgusting is that they are allowed to wallow in this filth like a hog. Anyone who says otherwise, liberals yell it would be “infringing on their rights”. Well what about my right to not have the inside of my nostrils plug themselves whenever I go into work. I know some elderly peoples senses have dulled, but NOT to the point that this should be even slightly socially acceptable. It’s taught me to budget a small amount every month for hygiene/bath products out the arse, more than most people. I am obsessed with my body being clean, so I won’t even smell like that EVER! Nobody knows when I’m between baths either, because I refuse to be embarrassed on something preventable!5.) And don’t even get me started about the ones who I KNOW hates me simply because I am young. That I won’t even go into at all, because it’s too LONG a subject.6.) Families are the WORST!!! They see you as hired help they can order around at will, instead of maybe helping out a little. They like their older family members seem to think you are made of infinite time, not to mention they irritate the f-ing crap outta you! Empathy is a foreign concept with them, they expect you to adore dropping everything else especially when you can’t really to change a loaded diaper, like before a meal. Simply because their meemee/peepaw decided to drop one and NOT tell anybody they had to go. That ticks me off, because the residents I work with all have pull cords to pull to CALL me if they do, so I can prevent stuff like this. And what ticks me off more, is that they aren’t senile, you can’t be to get admitted where I work. It’s just PURE LAZINESS!!!
I recently had the brain-dead granddaughter of one of my most disliked people, this girl was dressed to the hilt in designer everything. It looked like she hadn’t had to work a day in her life, and had had everything handed to her, she says to me. “I just love old people, their so cute.” For the sake of keeping my job, I had to smile and hold myself back from punching her in her obvious porcelain veneers. All I really wanted to do is take her and her grandparent, throw them into their apartment and deadbolt the door from the outside for the next week.
Then maybe she would grow a brain in that hollow spot inbetween her ears and realize NOBODY loves being elbow deep in filth willingly without a very good reason.7.) Almost anywhere you go, you WILL be doing things that aren’t in your job description. Or will be doing the work of several different departments, dietary and laundry, even security to name a few. Things that should be taken care of by other people get dumped on me because my facility big boss wants to save a few bucks to line his pocket with. I had a girl who was an actual nurse who was hired on part-time for extra money, that's what she told us. And when she got onto the floor she was shocked, she told me that what myself and my co-workers are doing was literally considered “skilled nursing”, despite our CNA status, and our pay was a joke! Yup!8.) This is also leading to another lesson, they stress to us over and over, do everything “by the book”. Puh-leeze... if we did everything like that step-by-step, it would take me an hour an entire chapter just to put someone’s socks on in the morning. So, corners ARE going to be cut in many ways, shapes and forms. Because they don’t want to pay you overtime, if they don’t have to so everything has to be crammed into a certain number of hours, be they 4 or a full 8. As long as nobody sees you, and you don’t mess with medicine in any way, then it WILL happen. Make no mistake about that. I do it wi laundry and bedmaking, and etc. I have to do too much crap on a shift to do a ton of frau-frau crap that all my residents expect. I don't care that you put the silk shirt your auntie sewed for you in the 19th century in the laundry, because your too cheap for dry cleaning. And then expect me to give it the royal treatment, or tossing your red socks in with your white towels then expect me to give it a washer all its own. Nope ain't happening!!! The truth is I throw "ALL" your crap together in the same washer, then put it on cold so the colors won't run,
then perm press or delicate depending what's in it. There's not enough washers for myself and co-workers, dryers included. I stuff and worry about it later, I don't check pockers unless I see/feel a bulge and I unload dryers early so they don't wrinkle and I don't have to iron unless its once in a while. Again, I don't have time for Foo-foo BS!!! Making beds, I stuff sheets under the matress I do maybe half of fancy corners. If it looks good and neat, I don't bother further with it. And honestly, I don't care!!! If your near-sighted and I'm setting tables and some of the silverware come out spotty from the dishwasher. I scrape off crap wth my finger, and turn what I can over.
If your being a d)I)c)khead, I'll switch your coffee to decaf or give it to you black so you can't sleep. Because that's as close to non-lethal revenge as I can get. 9.) Probably THE most important thing that you will ever find out. As a CNA, you are basically the leper
you are the bridge between the patients and medical staff. You are a vital chain in the link of the medical establishment, yet when I said that s)h)i)t smeared toilet paper was treated with more respect than you are. Well it’s TRUE! What should be a good paying job, is maybe at most a 20,000 a year or below job with no benefits. They make you work like a literal mule, and treat you like a door mat. You are the staff’s whipping person, you are the one that is abused the most, that is looked down and frowned upon. You are the one who will be given all the c)r)a)p and potentionally hazardous jobs that the nurses won’t do. Your health and emotional well-being is put on hold, working long hours because your bosses want to use some extra money in the budget to take a 10 day holiday for the higher-ups. Instead of buying equipment that could help with your job, like a hoyer for obese clients that you just had to admit.
Because if they’re money is good, potentional people will be given a half-arsed assessment and WILL be admitted. Then it will be up to you to take care of them, no matter how bizarre or dangerous they are and the higher-ups won’t have anything to do with them unless something is extremely wrong like being deathly ill or state is coming in for a yearly check. Then they are all out of the office, holding hands with the workers pretending to be frolicking around the whole d)a)m)n place singing show tunes surrounded by pink sparkily cupcakes and unicorns farting rainbows. When it’s really just discreetly clawing up YOUR backside, and breathing down your neck warning you not to screw up making the useless higher-ups look good.
Honestly no, I don’t give a crap a)s) I’m paid to make sure they are relatively intact for the next shift. In fact, if goes to the hospital, I’m jumping for joy in my head because that’s one that I “don’t” have to take care of. Or if they pass away, if they didn’t mean anything to me they are barely a blip on my radar. I just enjoy less of a workload and extra time for unexpected changes until the next joker moves into the vacant space or comes back. All the while I’m putting on a “sad” face and parroting the sentimental drivel the majority of my sheepish bleeding heart co-workers are bleating. As soon as my foot is over that threshold and I’m punched out for the day, my life is my own again and they no longer have any say over what I do.
Despite what my jobs seem to think, because they are always calling me relentlessly, especially on my days off when I want to relax. Because unlike the majority of my call-off happy co-workers, I’m dependable and I don’t have any kids, they think it equals no life and thus need to wipe everyone else’s backsides and clean up their messes. Yet, if I dare hit 80 hours or a little more by working these hours, my big boss crabs about overtime pay.
And I have a co-worker, who is under me in seniority, yet because she has 3 kids as a “single mom” gets first pick on shifts. Despite the fact, I have asked for the evening shifts before she did, well over a year ago. Stuff like that p)i)s)s)e)s me off royally, but the other thing that sets the good CNA’s apart from the one who will eventually quit. Is maintaining both an emotional distance with people you work around, that way when you leave you can easily go back to the real world and not give a crap what goes on on the next shift. As well as what I call, “Zen Face” an expression, that even though you might be screaming curses and profanity on the inside. On the outside you look ever-cheerful and perfectly happy to do whatever stupid or idotic thing that you might be asked to do next. Basically on the outside you’re a happy little corporate drone, despite having a an actual brain on the inside, that you are discouraged from using by they way. Because bosses don’t like to see anybody smarter or have more common sense than they do.
You don’t think that I’d rather be living in Europe, going down long country roads in a sporty little Ferrari, the wind whipping my hair while I go home to a stylish apartment or house. Or having dinner and wine with friends in a little bistro or café the conversation centering on fine art, history and beautiful music, etc.
Something that has nothing to do with bowel movements, listening to crabbing about this or that body part (some of which I would rather NOT hear because it’s gross) isn’t working right or about yet another sports network or boring game show. I would want to be at the top of the Opera Populaire under billions of stars in Paris. Or enjoying shopping on the famous market streets in Rome, or horseback riding thru the moors of Ireland among other things. Than sticking my nose up somebody’s stinky rear end because they are too lazy to wipe themselves.
YES!!! I definitely would!!!
I tell people at home if there was a fire, or disaster, unless maybe it was one of my liked residents close by. I wouldn’t bother saving anyone, I would just bolt out the door, my life is WAY more important than some old fart I could care less about and treats me like crap. They don’t realize that I don’t give a damn about them, I am NOT paid enough or have enough incentive to risk a life threatening scenario to get somebody’s wheelchair bound mother who should have been in a nursing home in the first place, with bad knees and is more fat dead-weight than anything to sit in a seat and get her out the door.
In fact, I give more thought and care to how I want to pop a zit on my backside, than I do for my residents in reality. Yes, I in fact I will be older at the end of writing this. However, I ain’t in that place where they are, where I am ready to break down. I want to enjoy the life and youth I still am lucky enough to have. What really chaps my cheeks is my roommate and best friend have suggested drugging myself with Ativan or Xanax to get through the day, because I get stressed sometimes. Uh no.
I am NOT resorting to turning myself into a medicated zombie like some of the people I know have done, its because they’ve given up. I already take about 4 medicines, 3 for my stomach, one to help me sleep occasionally because when I have to go into work on day shift, anxiety won’t let me sleep because I know it will be H)E)L)L!!! That is enough for me, it’s the price, I still have to pay to cope from my last job and many of the things I still put up with in the current, the stress, anxiety and lack of dignity to name a few. Right now, what I am doing is a place holder for me to keep my head above water and up to date with the “responsibilities” that come every month like clockwork. So don’t anybody get all holier than thou on me, because this site is a place to let our opinions and vents/rants about life be heard without judgment. However, if you feel the need to be an a-hole. Go somewhere else. Because this is MY little space, and you are free to go on your merry way. I am not hurting anyone, so just let me live and let live. Thank you:)!
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