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求助高人帮忙改下我写的英语作文错误？万分感谢！
来源：互联网 发表时间： 18:55:08 责任编辑：李志喜字体：
为了帮助网友解决“求助高人帮忙改下我写的英语作文错误？万分感谢！”相关的问题，学网通过互联网对“求助高人帮忙改下我写的英语作文错误？万分感谢！”相关的解决方案进行了整理,用户详细问题包括:RT,我想知道:求助高人帮忙改下我写的英语作文错误？万分感谢！，具体解决方案如下：解决方案1： Read some useful books, making it easier for one to enter society after completing his tertiary education?Many consider taking up part-time jobs because a part-time job is thought to be able to provide one with knowledge that cannot be gained from school? Or take up some form of exercise to ensure healthy living, you will find that you have more free time, part-time jobs can provide work experience. How would you do use that extra timeAfter you enter a university from a senior middle school, there are others who feel that part-time jobs are a waste of time and that a student's main focus should ultimately be studying. Also.I personally believe that it is alright to have a part-time job as long as we are able to strike a balance between working and studying? Get a part-time job. These people believe that having a part-time job would result in less time for studying and thus have disastrous effects.However解决方案2：
Because,a part-time job can give us some knowledge which can’t study from shool.(school)
解决方案3：
都没有英语作文啊
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topic:Nowdays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology.
In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make?
Has this become a positive or negative development?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant exmples from your own knoledge or experince.
& & As the century continued, technology has become the most popular way to interact for many people. Although so many people like interacting with each other by technology,it is a subject of debate whether technology which has been changed with the economic development is good for everybody. On my opinion, technology has mumerous advantages in the area of communication.
& &One of the most significant benefits obtaining from technology is that it's more convenient for so many people to contact with their friends and relatives .In past, there was so quick and easy communication system that people had to take the long time to write a letter and take a risk of losing the letter during the proccess of sending the letter. Obviously, this communication level posed a lot of problems.
& & As far as we know, the way many people interact with each other has been replaced with technology, resulting from the rapid economic develpoment, is the feature of all over the world in the 21st century. Long distance is not a serious problem any more. Beause the improve of communication system can collect gobal imformation so that people can interact with their friends or love one in an easy way,even though they are far away from each other. Theseday, there are many available medium such as Internet, cell-phone suchlike&&economical and pratical method.
& &It can not denied that technology plays an active part in our life . Technology provides lots of medium for us to talk and know our friends and relatives, even the strangers anytime, anywhere.
ok，已看到，会尽快帮你修改的。
老实说，这篇作文写得很不理想。最严重的错误是你没有审清题意，没有找到这篇文章写作的重点在哪里。方向错了，走再多的路都是徒劳。再下笔前，不要着急，花上几分钟好好读一下题目，究竟是要我写什么。另外，可以看出来你的语言功底不是很好，句式简单、语言不地道、论据不充分、有语法错误。我觉得可能还是你练的少，可以参考一下比较好的一些雅思写作书，如《十天突破雅思写作》、《雅思8分万能作文》等，多揣摩，高分作文是怎么写出来的，制胜的关键在哪里？
下面说一下为什么说你写跑题了。题目有两个关键点：一、&In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make?&“科技在哪些方面改变了人们交往的方式？”；二、&Has this become a positive or negative development?& “这（科技对人们交往方式的影响）是正面的还是负面的？”。那么，你是怎样写的呢？开头、中间、结尾部分都没能充分的体现这两点，只是一味地在说科技的好处，而且说得也显啰嗦，不能做到言简意赅。
再来具体看一下一些细节错误：
As the century continued, technology has become the most popular way to interact for many people.这句话写的太不地道了，甚至不符合逻辑。（你要记住，文章的开头是相当重要，因为开头段是用来引出论题和论点的。）&As the century continued&太别扭了，可以不写，或者用nowdays/at present/in current time等；technology是“科技”，它只是一种技术手段，不是我们交流的方式，而是影响我们交流的方式。
Although so many people like interacting with each other by technology,it is a subject of debate whether technology which has been changed with the economic development is good for everybody. On my opinion, technology has mumerous advantages in the area of communication.technology是一个抽象概念，不是实物，所以你不能用by technology，而应该用交流工具，如电脑、手机等。On my opinion应该是in my opinion。
总结一下，你这个开头段写的相当失败！没有很好的引出论题，重点在于&in what ways&。关于正面或负面影响，你可以在开头段直接亮出你的观点，也可以放到后面。
中间两段我不再细说了，前面已经提到了，你写跑题了，只是在说科技的好处，而没有说科技具体用过哪些方式来改变人们的交往方式。比如说，你可以写电脑、手机、互联网、高铁等等这些因为科技发展而带来的便利对人们交往的影响，就像你第三段结尾提到的。
Theseday, there are many available medium such as Internet, cell-phone suchlike&&economical and pratical method.这里有一个语法错误，medium是单数，它的复数是media，但是你也不能说many media，media是一个集体名词，你可以说many media tools。
It can not denied that technology plays an active part in our life . Technology provides lots of medium for us to talk and know our friends and relatives, even the strangers anytime, anywhere.结尾段用来总结概括你上面的观点，不足的地方上面已经说的很清楚了，修改一下。medium的语法错误，上面已经指出。
我话说的可能有些重，你不要介意。我觉得我应该坦诚相告！
青心 发表于
我话说的可能有些重，你不要介意。我觉得我应该坦诚相告！
谢谢指教，老实说，我也没有上过什么培训班之类的，我自己也一直在揣摩写作方法，我也有看《8分雅思万能作文》的书，可是我就学不会里面的写作方法，我每次写作文都得熬很久，才逼出一言一句，写了也找不到别人给我意见，所以一直就不知该如何是好地逃避，所以就渐渐少练了。谢谢你能抽出宝贵的时间给我修改，我也会加紧练习的，总之，谢谢了。
cleesy 发表于
谢谢指教，老实说，我也没有上过什么培训班之类的，我自己也一直在揣摩写作方法，我也有看《8分雅思万能作 ...
呵呵，客气了，关键是要找出英语论说文的特点，就不会犯大的错误了。英语论说文一定是观点鲜明，你所说的每一个论点都要有据可依，语言要言简意赅，不要啰嗦。中国人写文章喜欢含蓄，而英美人写文章喜欢“直白”。
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