Building a More Nurturing and Loving Romantic Relationship
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Chinese ProverbCouples who love each other can communicate a thousand things without ever once talking.The Ingredients that Go into a Loving Romantic RelationshipOur intimate relationships are the most important aspects of many people’s lives. Nurturing, strong, fruitful and fulfilling loving relationships not only provide us with great joy and happiness, they also support our careers, inspire us towards the achievement of our deepest and most cherished goals, and provide a deeper sense of both physical and spiritual well-being.Relationships are no doubt important, however so many of us don’t quite know or understand what goes into creating an ideal relationship. We may have had some wonderful relationships in the past, yet can’t quite pinpoint why they quickly disintegrated before our eyes. Yes, indeed sometimes we even do silly little things that sabotage and hurt our relationships with other people in irrevocable ways.These keys to a better loving relationship will show you the things that you can do within yourself and for your relationship that will take it to another level of intimacy, romance and passion. We will also take a look at some relationship mistakes that people make and how they can quickly destroy a promising union of two hearts. Once you understand the keys to a loving relationship you will have the tools to take your relationships to the next level.Healthy Relationship TraitsWhen it comes to building the strong foundations for a healthy and loving relationship, we must abide by and encourage the development of key essential and supporting traits that are critical to a relationship’s long-term success.Work together with your partner on the process of embedding these key traits into the heart of your relationship on a daily basis, and you will be well on your way towards developing a strong and lasting bond that goes well beyond just plain attraction and intimacy. Instead these traits lay down the foundations of unbreakable friendships that stand the test of time.Here are a few suggestions to get you moving in the right direction:The Essential Relationship TraitsThe following is a list of essential relationship traits that we must work on cultivating and bringing forth into a personal and romantic relationships with others. Ingraining these traits deep into the foundational building blocks of our partnerships will help grow powerful and lasting connections that will flourish for a lifetime.Effective CommunicationThe act of communication is the foundational principle trait that interlocks all others together. It is actually the primary and most important trait that lays the foundations for the other four essential traits that are critical to long, fulfilling and lasting relationships. Communication is a two way median that involves both listening and talking.The Balance Between Talking and ListeningOf primary importance is listening. When your partner is communicating with you be sure to listen with an open mind, with no interruptions and be very attentive to the words they speak, the tone of voice they use and to your partner’s changing facial expressions throughout their communication. Within these observations you will find clues towards how they are feeling, what perspectives and beliefs they hold, and you will also gain a clear insight into the needs they are attempting to satisfy within this moment.When it comes time for you to talk, firstly delay your response with a small pause after your partner finishes speaking. When you do this you may find that your partner may add another couple of points to the conversation — providing you with a fuller picture of their communication. Next, identify the underlying needs that your partner indirectly highlighted within their communication with you. Now, summarize what you heard, confirm that you thoroughly understood them and begin speaking with empathy while focusing your communication style on fulfilling your partner’s needs.If you ever catch yourself talking over your partner, thinking of other things while they are talking, misunderstanding what they are saying, or not having clearly identified the needs they are trying to satisfy within their interactions with you, than communication is clearly a lacking factor within your relationship.HonestyBuild honesty within your relationship in ways that encourage open communication. Agree with your partner today that you will be honest with each other at all times — even if the consequences may somewhat hurt the other person. Agree that you will always keep an open mind and work through situations in ways that are supportive of your long-term relationship objectives and goals. Always come from the perspective that “It is better to be honest and upfront now, than for my partner to find out later that I was hiding something from them”.If you ever catch yourself questioning your partner in anyway, than honesty is a lacking factor within your relationship.TrustThis is a direct outcropping of honesty. When you are honest within a relationship, than trust naturally becomes the flower at full bloom that accepts the warming rays of the sun with all its mite. The openness of honesty builds trust within a relationship and promotes a sense of peace and serenity whether you are together with your partner or separated by distance.If you are ever away from your partner and catch yourself wondering what they are up to or who they might be with, than trust is a lacking factor within your relationship.DependabilityBeing dependable means that your partner can rely on you at all times no matter the time or place. Both of you essentially live to support one another in times of need, and will go out of each other’s way to help when you are needed most.If your partner ever needs you, and you catch yourself making up excuses or complaining about attending to their needs, than dependability is clearly a lacking factor within your relationship.RespectThis all comes down to instinctively respecting your partner’s opinions and differences. Yes, you might disagree with their perspective, and that’s fine. However, you must respect them for who they are, for the opinions that they bring to the table, and also for the differences that make them special and unique. It is indeed okay to disagree in a respectful and accepting manner.If you ever catch yourself ridiculing your partner about their opinions or perspectives, than respect is clearly a lacking factor within your relationship.Supporting Relationship TraitsThe following is a list of supporting relationship traits that are not essential and critical to a relationship, however cultivating them will most definitely enhance the chemistry and depth of feelings between you and your partner.Find a Common Purpose and SynergyEven though many people seem to be attracted to complete opposites. When it comes to key underlying factors and traits, we indeed tend to be attracted to someone who is very similar to us in many ways. Every relationship must have shared goals, beliefs and values that synergize perspectives and actions and move the couple towards a certain direction with clear, concise and precise objectives.If you are finding that you and your partner seem to share a different set of goals, beliefs or values, than it could be an indication that your relationship is lacking the synergy to sustain itself for the long-term.Other Key TraitsThe remainder 8 supporting traits add extra spice, intimacy, love and joy to a relationship that already has the strong essential foundational characteristics discussed above. The traits include:o
Patience o
Adventure o
Intimacy o
FunEach of these traits provide your relationship with the qualities it needs to keep things exciting, unpredictable, joyous, and responsive to changes within the environment and within each partner’s personality style.Your goal is to seek out to cultivate each and everyone of these supportive traits, and your relationship will be propelled into the stratosphere.The Mindset You Must Bring into the RelationshipWe have already discussed the essential and supportive traits that go into building a fulfilling and fruitful relationship. Related to this are the traits that go into building your personal mindset that is critical with supporting these foundational relationship traits.Without the correct mindset, we simply fail to cultivate the necessary wisdom to build and grow a relationship to a deeper level of awareness and understanding. However, by simply being aware of the necessary traits that build a powerful relationship-focused mindset, you will clearly be on a path towards a deeper and more satisfying relationship no matter what other obstacles may currently be standing in your way.Here are a few suggestions that will provide you with some foundational principles that will instill a relationship-focused mindset:Be CompromisingThis is all about finding ways to compromise. Accept the fact that you simply cannot and will not agree with your partner 100% of the time. As a result you could either be the good Samaritan and let your partner have it their way, or you could learn to compromise in a way that will benefit and support both of your perspectives and opinions. Understand that by being a little creative and thinking somewhat outside the box, you could very well both get what you want in ways that you may never have expected.Be Flexible in Your ApproachAs your relationship matures and moves through its progressive stages, you may find that you will also need to change and adapt accordingly.Many relationships falter as they progress past the initial attraction stage because partners fail to understand that they need to be flexible in their approach and change accordingly as their relationship evolves to another level. To encourage the act of flexibility, learn to ask yourself solution focused questions.Support Your Partner Whenever you judge, criticize or condemn your partner, at that very moment you are creating conflict and bitterness towards you and your relationship with this person. When you wholeheartedly support your partner, it shows in your actions, your demeanor, and in your approach. Support your partner’s goals, dreams, beliefs, values, and anything else that they hold close to their heart.When support is lacking many other things will begin to breakdown within a relationship. Begin by showing them that you care, talk to them about their concerns and challenges, and be there for them in their time of greatest need.Cultivate an Optimistic OutlookIt is easy for us to get disgruntled and depressed when things are simply not going our way. If problems or challenges are testing your relationship, than see them as a blessing in disguise. Actually see them as experiences you can learn from to build even stronger bonds between you and your partner. Your own perspective will either make or break a relationship.By keeping a positive outlook no matter what the circumstances, you may also provide your partner with the strength they need to keep on keeping on through these tough and difficult times. It all begins with you and expands from there.Focus Only on SolutionsFocusing on solutions is closely linked to cultivating an optimistic outlook. However, the major difference is that when you are focusing on solutions, you specifically target potential scenarios that will strengthen and build on the current problems and challenges that may be holding your relationship back from evolving to the next level.The easiest way to begin cultivating this kind of mindset is to ask effective solution focused questions that will expand your way of thinking in new directions. If you would like to experience first hand how this process works, than please have a look at the miWisdom blog which presents daily life wisdom’s and learning’s and concludes with a set of questions that expand one’s awareness and understanding about each situation. If in the future you are ever dealing with a similar problem or challenge in your life, than the miWisdom set of questions will set you on the right track towards a solution focused mindset.Accept Yourself WholeheartedlySelf-acceptance is an absolutely critical factor when it comes to the ongoing success of your relationship. Have you ever been in a relationship where your partner had very low self-esteem, and as a result this ended up sabotaging your relationship? Yes indeed, I am sure this has happened to a great deal of us, in fact you may have been the one with the low self-esteem, and as a result your partner might have walked away.As a human species, we are naturally attracted to confident and decisive partners who feel good about their own body and mind. Your first step is to accept this statement as FACT.Secondly, begin today by truly and wholeheartedly loving yourself from head to toe, inside and out, body, brain, soul and spirit. You are a unique and wonderful person who deserves the very best life has to offer. Begin today by spending more time with yourself and appreciating your uniqueness and beauty. Once you have fully grasped and understood this, only then will you be ready to love another person wholeheartedly without hesitation.Accept All ImperfectionsThis naturally leads on from the previous point. First, you must accept yourself and all your imperfections openly and fully. You are not perfect and never will be (in the human form). Accept this as FACT and understand that your partner will never be perfect either. Like you, they also have imperfections and little things that they do that may not be to your liking. It’s just the way they are. Don’t try to change them, as that rarely ever works in the long-term. Instead learn to cultivate the mindset of acceptance and accept them for who they are wholeheartedly.It often helps to look beyond your partner’s external appearance and see the beautiful soul that lies hidden out of sight within the depths of their eyes. Go ahead, take a good long look and see the beauty that lies hidden within these depths. Actually pull your partner aside and spend 10 to 15 minutes looking into each other’s eyes without talking, fidgeting or moving. This is literally an eye-opening experience. Once you lock-in on that beauty that lies within, you will never look at your partner the same way again.How to Show Your Partner “I Love You”We all understand how important love is to the success of a growing relationship. When we are in love, it just makes sense to tell our partner how much we love them over and over again. However, did you know that you can make your partner feel the deep love you have for them in many more ways then by simply telling them “I Love You“. Here are just a few suggestions to get you started:Do Loving ThingsTriggering within your partner the exhilarating feelings of love will vary depending on their Love Strategy. Your partner’s Love Strategy is a set of unconscious rules they have ingrained into their psyche that determines how they feel in accordance to other people’s behaviors, words, gestures and actions.Let’s begin by taking a look at a few ways you can show your partner that you love them without the “I love you” words attached.Remember the Special OccasionsThere are certain moments throughout the year that have special importance for both your partner and for the continued growth and maturity of your relationship. Remember them at all costs and celebrate them in unique, creative and romantic ways. The more memorable and romantic the experience the more indisputable proof there will be of your love and affection for your partner. All it really takes is remembering the big three annual occasions: Your partner’s birthday, your relationship’s anniversary day and valentines day.Take the Unexpected Romantic ApproachSend your love via email, in a letter or through text messaging. You don’t have to say “I love you“, (although that wouldn’t hurt), just remind your partner that you are thinking about them, that you appreciate them, that you can’t wait to see them, and that your world is empty without them. Or, send something funny that makes them laugh and think of you. The more creative you are in your approach the more effective your message will be. Moreover, surprise your partner with sudden kisses and hugs. Again, be creative. Spice up your relationship with unpredictability, and remember, that kisses and hugs don’t always have to be the same.Listen AttentivelyWe’ve already discussed the importance of communication, and listening attentively was no doubt a big aspect of that discussion. Through the act of listening you are showing your partner that you are interested in them and that you consider what they have to say as being of utmost importance. Isn’t it amazing how such a simple act can say so much about the feelings you have for the other person?Be ForgivingNo one is perfect. People will make mistakes. You will make mistakes, and so will your partner. There are a few things that show your partner that you love them more than the simple act of forgiveness. Forgive them for their indiscretions, for their misjudgments, and for their imperfect actions. Doing this will show them how much you care, love and appreciate them despite mistakes that may or may not have been made.Smile LovinglyA simple genuine smile stemming from the heart without a spoken word can do more to sooth the soul than a million “I love you’s” filled with little genuine intent or emotion.Show Your GratitudeSay “thank you” in creative, unique and genuine ways for the little things that your partner does for you. A warmhearted “thank you” can make a heart melt and will say so much more than the words it represents.Compliment Your Partner in the Company of OthersGiving your partner compliments when you are alone is wonderful for building appreciation and romantic affection. However, giving your partner compliments in the company of other people shows them how genuinely you respect and care for them openly within a social environment. Do this in creative and unique ways that makes other people appreciate the wonderful things you see within your partner on a daily basis.As a rule-of-thumb, not only should you compliment your partner in a creative manner, you should also only compliment them on things that others simply would not at first notice. If for instance others see your partner as being handsome or beautiful, compliment them indirectly about how great of a husband, wife, father, mother or provider they are — this will show them beyond a shadow of a doubt how much you respect, care and value them.Hold HandsHold your partner’s hand while watching TV, walking through the park or just waiting in line at the grocery store. The simple act of touching will go a long way in displaying your unwavering love and affection.Dance IntimatelyWhen was the last time you took the time to play your partner’s favorite song and asked them to dance intimately under the candlelight? The music that we appreciate and love has been scientifically proven to stimulate deep reservoirs of emotion from within our psyche, which can bring about powerful feelings of love and affection.Tickle and Wrestle Each OtherSimple cheeky touching and wrestling will stimulate powerful love infested emotions within your partner’s body. This act alone shows your partner your deep love and affection.Simple Say Nothing At AllI’m sure that at this stage you are fully comprehending and understanding that words don’t have to be spoken to show your partner that you love them. However, just in case you need a little more convincing, here are the lyrics of a well known song sang by Ronan Keating entitled “When You Say Nothing at All” from the movie Notting Hill. The lyrics of the song are very powerful and can help put into perspective what is required in order to build strong, long lasting and fruitful intimate relationships.When You Say Nothing At AllIt’s amazing how you can speak right to my heart Without saying a word, you can light up the dark Try as I may, I could never explain What I hear when you don’t say a thingThe smile on your face, lets me know that you need me There’s a truth in your eyes saying you’ll never leave me The touch of your hand says you’ll catch me whenever I fall You say it best, when you say nothing at allAll day long I can hear people talking out loud But when you hold me near you drown out the crowd Try as they may, they can never define What’s been said between your heart and mineRonan KeatingSay “I Love You” in a Variety of WaysDon’t just say “I love you“, instead say it differently, creatively and in a variety of ways. Here are a few examples to get you started:You complete me… You are precious… You are my life… I value you… I adore you… You inspire me… I live for our love… You are my strength… I dream of you… I appreciate you… Me and you always… These are just some examples that you can use to tell your partner that you love them. For more of these creative “I love you” variations visit the Romance Stuck Blog.Romantic Ideas to Spice up Your RelationshipBuilding strong fulfilling and fruitful relationships requires constant diligence, work and effort. However, this doesn’t mean that it can’t be enjoyable and fun. Spice up your relationship with a variety of unique activities and dating ideas that will keep your partner interested and leave them wanting more.Here are just a few suggestions to get you started on the right path:Romantic DatesPlan ongoing weekly romantic dates with your partner to keep the sizzle in your relationship going. This could be as simple as a spa/bath night, watching the sunset or sunrise, or simply surprising them on their lunch-break at work with a picnic in the park. No matter what it is, plan to make it special, memorable and especially romantic. Also plan your dates in advance and surprise your partner with creativity and variety each and every time.Fun DatesRemember that dates don’t always have to be romantic. A balance of fun and romance is always essential for a healthy and long lasting relationship. Plan fun dates such as bowling, mini golf, bike riding, ice skating, playing board games, arcade games, Sony PlayStation or even X-Box games at home.Anything that stirs up intense excitement within your partner will naturally unleash an avalanche of love hormones that will bring about ever deeper feelings of affection for you. This is exactly why amusement parks are incredibly effective, just make sure that you don’t overdo it by going on too many of those exhilarating rides at one time. One too many rides could indeed have the opposite effect, especially on a full stomach. ?ActivitiesIf you simply don’t like the idea of planning a date, you can still spice up your relationship through daily activities or all-day outings. Go hiking with your partner within a National Park, or plan a road trip to unexpected places — simply go with your gut and see where the roads take you. Alternatively, you may find great pleasure in exercising together at the gym or park, and even simple arduous tasks and activities such as doing the laundry or washing the car together can quickly become an intensely emotional and intoxicating experience for both of you.Use your imagination and your chemistry will do the rest. Visit Romance Tracker for more great dating ideas and activities.Key Relationship Mistakes that You Must AvoidIt is of course of utmost importance to focus in on and target areas that will grow, build and take your relationship to the next level. However, at the same time we must be aware of the mistakes that many couples make that sabotage and destroy their relationships in irreparable ways.Here are some things you should keep in mind and be wary of if you seek to build a long, lasting and fruitful relationship:Avoid Picking on Partner’s FaultsNo one likes to be judged or picked on, especially by the person they love,
so quit picking on your partner’s faults. You are not perfect yourself, so don’t expect your partner to be perfect either. Accept them for who they are, love them because of their imperfection and cherish them for the intrinsic beauty that lies hidden behind the external appearance.Avoid ComplacencyMany relationships fail simply because the couple becomes too complacent and comfortable within the relationship. As human beings, we crave excitement and variety within our lives. Initially at the beginning stages of a relationship we experience many new feelings and also partake in activities that instigate mystery, uncertainty and unpredictability.Once you are with someone for a while it’s easy to simply overlook the factors that initially created that spark and attraction in your relationship. If you notice that you are becoming lazy and that your relationship is becoming too predictable, realize that sooner or later one of you will have to do something to spice things up or the relationship will very likely fall apart both emotionally and physically.Avoid Seeking Instant GratificationIt’s very easy to become addicted to having your partner around fulfilling all your deepest needs and desires. Don’t forget that even though you are within a relationship, you are still an individual entity with one beating heart and one thinking brain. Addiction to your partner may very well lead to neediness, which could make your partner feel claustrophobic within your presence. Instead practice being happy with yourself when your partner isn’t around. Moreover, practice satisfying your emotional, physical, spiritual and material cravings in constructive ways without needing your partner to be there all the time.Finally understand that every relationship needs intimacy and closeness just as much as it requires a little separation and space. Therefore, be very careful not to become addicted.Avoid Carrying Old BaggageBy old baggage I don’t mean old suitcases that you have been storing in your closet for years. ? Instead, I mean people, emotions and thoughts that keep you in the past and prevent you from moving forward with your current relationship within the present moment. Stay true to yourself by letting go of the past and focusing wholeheartedly on your partner today.Avoid Having Unrealistic ExpectationsGet over the fact that your partner will solve your emotional problems or self-esteem issues. Your partner is human, they will help you any way they can, however you must not rely on them to assist you with every problem that confronts you on a daily basis. This is simply just too emotionally draining and will eat-away at your partner’s emotional resources. You must understand that they are also dealing with their own personal problems at home, work, and anywhere else they transition through life. Yes, support each other, and be there when your partner needs you most, however do not hold onto unrealistic expectations that this relationship will bring you perfect happiness on every level of your life.Relationships are not magic pills that you can pop at any time, they are instead support lifelines that can help make your transition through life much easier more exhilerating and fun.Avoid Forcing Your Partner to ChangeThis again touches upon the idea of perfection. You are not perfect, so don’t expect your partner to be perfect either. Think back to your initial attraction and how you felt about your partner at the time. Did you nitpick at every little thing you didn’t like about them, or did you simply love them for who they were as a complete and perfect package with warts and all? Your union came together because you naturally complimented each others strengths and weaknesses. Keep this union alive by continuing to be strong where they are weak or competent where they may be inadequate. Ask yourself,Does the world really need another clone of me?Appreciate your partner for who they are and continue to work on maintaining that strength/weakness balance that is evident within all successful relationships.Avoid Arguing to WinBefore you argue with your partner ask yourselfEven if I prove that my perspective is right, is it worth making my partner feel terrible about the fact that they are wrong? Let’s all just grow up and stop acting like little children. What is right and what is wrong is irrelevant, as long as what is most important is still intact when everything is said and done. Is your opinion more important than your relationship?Avoid Creating Negative AnchorsThis is a natural outcropping of the above point. Whenever we are experiencing a powerful and intense emotional state, everything within our present environment naturally gets attached to that emotional state of being. This means that if you come home from work feeling angry and you transfer that anger onto your partner, than these emotions of anger will begin to slowly but surely anchor themselves to your partner’s presence.For instance, the next week you might come home from work feeling on top of the world, however the moment you see your partner you begin to feel uncomfortable and angry, and you just can’t explain why? This is evidence that shows you that you have a negative anchor attached to your partner’s presence, and it is probably the biggest and most powerful destructive force on relationships in the 21st Century. To avoid this, simply separate yourself from your partner in times when you are experiencing heated emotions, and choose to be near your partner when you are feeling excitement and exhilaration.This strategy will not only extinguish the probability of creating negative anchors, but will also create the possibility of experiencing positive relationship building anchors.Final ThoughtsBy working through all of these key steps you will have the necessary strategies to grow and build upon your relationships in magical ways. The secret is to be consistent and persistent. Nothing is ever perfect, and nothing has ever been accomplished without a little sacrifice, work and effort. Make the process fun, exciting and enjoyable and your relationships will no doubt experience the fruits of your labor. And finally remember that your relationships are a work in progress, and will expand in wonderful ways with a little TLC.I hope you enjoyed this post, and if you have any further thoughts, ideas, reflections or suggestions about this topic, than please feel free to comment below.Time to Assimilate these ConceptsBuy Map Using Map Free MapsDid you gain value from this article? Would you like to keep these concepts at the forefront of your mind? If so, then you might like to download the accompanying mind map reference poster to your iPad, tablet or computer. The map presents you with a quick overview of this article. It’s designed specifically to help improve your memory and recall of this information so that you can better integrate these concepts into your daily thoughts, habits and actions. Your purchase will also go a long way towards supporting the further development of these maps.If you enjoy using these maps, then why not become a IQ Matrix lifetime member where you will gain access to an ever growing number of hundreds of self-growth mind maps that can help you excel in every area of life. It would be fantastic to have you join our community of existing lifetime members.Gain More Knowledge…Here are some additional links and resources that will help you learn more about this topic:How to Build Intimacy in any Relationship @ Think Simple Now10 Ways We Hurt Our Romantic Relationships @ LifehackHow to Resolve Conflicts in Your Relationships @ Pick the BrainBuilding Healthy Relationships @ Pick the Brain50 Ways to Be Romantic on the Cheap @ Zen HabitsHow Personal Growth Can Uncover a Toxic Relationship @ Life OptimizerHow to Manage a Long Distance Relationship @ Life OptimizerA Marital Spark: 6 Principles for More Passion & Energy in Marriage @ Zen Habits5 Tips for an Amazing Happy Relationship @ Ask Dan and JenniferHow to Improve Your Relationships: 7 Awesome Tips from the Last 1900 Years @ Positivity BlogListen Up: How Honest Communication Can Save Your Marriage @ Zen Habits7 Ways to Inject Romance into Your Relationship @ Dumb Little Man10 Keys to a Successful Romantic Relationship @ Lifehack7 Common Reasons Relationships Fail @ Pick the Brain7 Free Ways to be Romantic @ Dumb Little Man10 Ways to Say “I Love You” Without Speaking a Word @ Dumb Little Man Getting a Better Night’s Sleep
William BlakeT sleep in the night.Are you struggling to get to sleep?Most of us spend about a third of our lives in bed. However, for many people getting a good night’s sleep isn’t as easy at it sounds. If you struggle to get to sleep, toss and turn in bed for long periods throughout the night, or just wake up feeling tired and restless, than it’s very possible that you are sabotaging your sleeping routine by not following one or more of the keys to a better night’s sleep.Whether it is making changes to your bedroom environment, developing some simple mindset sleeping strategies, taking regular herbs or supplements, getting a medical check for hormonal imbalances or nutrient deficiencies, taking certain and specific actions, transforming your nutritional habits, or simply avoiding the things that are known to interfere with our sleeping patterns — the keys to a better night’s sleep may have the answers for you.Cultivate these keys and apply them into your new sleeping routine and you will sleep better and more soundly than ever before.This post is for information purposes only. Please seek the guidance of your alternative health physician before undertaking any strenuous exercise, herbal or nutritional program.Your Sleeping EnvironmentThe environment within which we sleep on a nightly basis is absolutely critical in the ongoing promotion of better sleeping habits and patterns. If our sleeping environment is substandard and does not fall inline with our biological needs, than it will simply interfere with our sleeping patterns and as a result we will suffer the consequences by getting inadequate amounts of quality sleep. Here are some suggestions on things you can do to enhance your sleeping environment to promote a better and a more restful night’s sleep:Remove Clocks from ViewOn nights when we just can’t seem to get to sleep, what is it that we tend to do? That’s right, we stare at the clock every 10 minutes and stress every second about how tired we’ll feel the next day if we don’t fall asleep right NOW! In instances such as this, your clock is simply a liability on your time.Firstly, remove your clock from sight.Secondly commit yourself to the fact that you don’t need to know the time unless it is time to get out of bed. Understand that you are in control of your life, and that no clock is going to take that away from you.Remove All EMF FieldsEMF stands for Electro-Magnetic Fields. EMFs are released by electronic appliances that are present within your sleeping environment. EMFs are known to disrupt the pineal gland and interfere with the production of melatonin and serotonin, which are essential in promoting good sleeping patterns. Either remove all electronic appliances such as televisions, stereos, and computers from your bedroom or unplug them from their power-supply.Some sleeping doctors strongly suggest that people should pull their circuit breaker before heading-off to bed in order to kill all power in the house.Good VentilationWe all know what it feels like to step outside in the early hours of the morning and just breathe in that fresh crisp air. It feels so invigorating and enlivening. Well, the same principles apply at night as you are sleeping. Our bodies require good amounts of fresh air to promote a greater sense of health and well-being. By closing your windows at night you are doing your body a great deal of injustice by suffocating its oxygen supply.If opening the window at nights isn’t an option, consider purchasing an air filter or purifier.Darkness is EssentialIf you are not sleeping in complete darkness, than you are interfering with your body’s circadian rhythm. Any small amount of light that reflects or shines into your bedroom will disrupt your pineal gland’s production of melatonin and serotonin.When getting up at night, you should also avoid turning on the lights whenever possible. If this isn’t an option, than purchase a low volt bulb that emits as little light as possible. The less the better. You will find that by following these simple guidelines that your sleep will be more restful and sound.As Quiet as a MouseSome of us have a tendency to fall asleep while watching television or listening to the radio. Even though in these instances you might have fallen asleep, it however doesn’t promote a restful type of sleep.In order to achieve a deep and prolonged nights sleep, you must ensure that you remove all sounds and distractions from your sleeping environment. Although there are some exceptions to this rule, which we will explore a little later.Keep Temperature at Comfortable LevelsThe temperature within your sleeping environment should be at no more than 22 °C / 70 °F. Any higher than this and biologically your body will feel discomfort and this may interfere with your sleeping patterns.Comfortable Pillow and MattressSince most of us spend about one third of our lives in bed, it just makes sense to purchase a good quality pillow and mattress that will support us where we need it most.Everybody is different and requires varying levels of support. Visit a sleep specialist or chiropractor for further information about getting the right sleeping support for your body. Investing wisely here could be one of the best decisions you make.A Sleeper’s MindsetThose who tend to sleep soundly each and every night have developed a number of mindset strategies that promote a deeper and faster onset of sleep. Here are some suggestions that will assist you in taking control of your mind:Control the Voice in Your HeadWhen we have a lot on our minds, many problems to deal with and uncertain plans for the day ahead, we can easily get lost in a river of thought that just keeps going and going, until it literally overwhelms us and sabotages our sleep. Take control of this voice by making a pact with yourself that as soon as you lie down to bed you will not think about any problems or plans that may be lingering on your mind. If you do lie down to bed and your mind just gets out of control, simply get out of bed and write your thoughts down on paper. Only once you have exhausted your thought process on paper should you venture back into bed.Focus on Staying AwakeIt’s a reverse form of psychology. Instead of tossing and turning and trying to get to sleep, simply keep your eyes open and focus on the fact that you are going to be staying awake for the rest of the night. This strategy really works as long as you don’t start thinking about other things that are on your mind. The key here is to focus only on the process of staying awake.Visualize Tranquility and SerenityDeep within the recesses of your mind create a quiet, serene and tranquil place where you can spend time relaxing. Whether this is somewhere on a secluded beach, in the outback or simply by a c create this place in your mind and return here every night just as you are falling asleep. Absorb yourself within the beauty of this environment, experience all the nature sounds and the seclusion that you are currently experiencing from the rest of humanity. Actually take-in this place through all your senses, and just relax and bathe within the magnificence of this environment you have created.Through the process of just relaxing within this environment you will discover that your body will find the peace and tranquility necessary to slip into a deep and restful nights sleep.Get Out of Bed if Unable to SleepYes, literally get out of bed if you are unable to fall asleep within the first 20 to 25 minutes. When you do get out of bed make sure to do something mellow that doesn’t stimulate your brain to a significant degree. Reading a book or simply undertaking a boring task or activity that doesn’t require much movement or thought, will tend to paralyze your brain back into sleeper’s state.Sleeping TherapyAt times no matter what we do, we just simply do not know why we are unable to fall asleep or why we wake up feeling very tired and lethargic. If this sounds like you than you may find it helpful taking a combination of herbal supplements, utilizing natural therapies or maybe even getting a medical checkup, which will assist in identifying possible mineral or nutrient deficiencies.Here are some suggestions to get you started:Herbal Remedies There are a number of herbs that have been found to be very helpful in promoting a good night’s sleep. These herbs include:CatnipChamomilePassionflowerLemon BalmSkullcapGinsengKavaHopsValerianSee your alternative health professional for further information. You may also like to visit your local health food store and purchase some herbal teas that contain a combination of these herbs for promoting better sleep.AcupunctureAcupuncture is known to be effective in assisting with the establishment of better sleep patterns. In traditional Chinese medicine, acupuncture is used for the treatment of insomnia. For those who are not familiar with this process, it involves inserting fine needles into the skin at specific acupuncture points in order to influence the functioning of the body.Emotional Freedom TechniqueEmotional Freedom Technique or EFT is an interesting natural therapy that simply involves the act of gently tapping certain areas of the body several minutes per day. It works by balancing your body’s bio-energy system while resolving some of the emotional stresses that may be contributing to your insomnia at a deep level. EFT is known to be very effective and the results are usually long lasting.For further information about EFT, please visit the World Center for EFT.Get a Medical CheckupIf all else fails, it is worthwhile to get a medical checkup at your local GP or Natural Medicine Clinician. Ask your doctor to check your adrenals, hormones, and iron levels. All of which could be aggravating your sleeping patterns and causing insomnia. Melatonin hormone supplements have also been found to be helpful in some cases.Sleep Promoting ActionsWhat you do throughout the day is just as important as what you do at night when it comes to promoting good sleeping patterns and habits. Certain activities throughout the day, before bedtime and within bed, will help you to establish good habits and rituals that will assist and improve your sleep. Here are some suggestions that will point you in the right direction:During the DayThe actions discussed within this section should be undertaken throughout your day. Consistently and persistently partaking in these activities can help improve sleeping patterns while promoting deeper and a more restful night’s sleep.ExerciseGetting a good amount of regular exercise throughout your week is a great way to improve your sleeping habits as it helps to induce bedtime drowsiness. Studies have consistently shown that people who undertake regular exercise experience a deeper and more restful sleep than those who don’t. Physical exercise such as running, cycling or swimming are effective, however you should also try Tibetan Yoga and Tai Chi which provide the body with additional biological benefits. Ideally you should exercise early during the day or at least 3 to 4 hours before going to sleep.Sun ExposureBecause of all this talk about skin cancer, people are now starting to avoid sun exposure altogether, not realizing that sun exposure is essential for our ongoing health and well-being. By exposing yourself to the sun for up to two hours per day will help regulate your body’s natural biological clock which will improve your sleeping patterns. However, make sure that you always wear protective sunscreen and you avoid sunburn at all costs.JournalingWriting out your thoughts about your sleeping habits, patterns, goals and routine helps some people to proactively gain control and effectively manage their sleep.Power NapsThroughout our day we tend to experience natural rises and falls in our energy levels. During the falls it can be quite satisfying to take a short power nap of no more than 20 to 25 minutes. This will increase your energy levels and help you catch up on lost sleep.Lose WeightBeing overweight can significantly increase your risk of suffering from sleep apnea. This in turn will prevent you from experiencing a restful nights sleep. Therefore, make sure you get enough exercise and eat the correct foods in order to get on top of your weight-loss goals.Before Heading off to BedThe actions discussed within this section should be undertaken before heading off to bed. Consistently and persistently partaking in these activities can help improve sleeping patterns while promoting deeper and a more restful night’s sleep.Visit the ToiletHow many times have you had a lot to drink just before going to bed and then woke up at night because of biological urges? A simple solution is to simply make sure you go to the toilet before heading off to bed.Schedule Early SleepOur body’s natural biological clock has been thrown out of balance because of modern electricity and lighting. Naturally our body is biologically prepared to go to sleep at about 10:00pm and wakes up at sunrise at around 6:00am. Being awake between these periods interferes with the body’s process of dumping toxins. Moreover, this will sabotage a restful nights sleep and may leave you feeling sluggish and tired in the morning.Do whatever you can to gradually schedule your sleeping patterns to coincide between the hours of 10pm and 6am. Begin by going to bed about 15 minutes earlier each week up until you are consistently in bed by 10pm.Light StretchesLightly stretching the body before heading off to bed can promote a deeper and more restful nights sleep.Relaxation ExercisesIt is important that you gradually ease into the process of winding down to bed. This can be achieved through a combination of relaxation exercises that put you at ease and into a sleepy state. Whether you want to give yourself a massage, prefer to meditate, read a spiritual book, or simply
whatever you choose does not matter, as long as it provides you with a relaxing and soothing experience.By developing a nightly relaxation routine you will successfully prepare and condition your mind for prolonged and deep sleep.Within BedThe actions discussed within this section should be undertaken while lying in bed. Consistently and persistently partaking in these activities can help improve sleeping patterns while promoting deeper and a more restful night’s sleep.Stay Warm Yet CoolIf you are cold you will not be able to sleep. On the other hand if you are too hot you will also suffer the consequences of lost sleep. Therefore, stay cool by lowering the temperature within your bedroom, or by covering yourself with just a thin sheet. Likewise, stay warm by wearing socks to bed or covering yourself with another blanket. As a rule of thumb, make sure that never too hot or cold at any time.Wear HeadgearBy headgear I don’t mean a helmet. ? Rather, wear an eye-mask if there is too much light within your bedroom, or wear ear-plugs if there is too much noise outside the bedroom.Listen to White NoiseIf you are struggling to deal with a noisy neighbor or partner (the snorer in the family), than one way to numb the sounds is to listen to white noise. Turn on a fan or an ocean MP3 that will relax you — effectively numbing external sounds. There are also plenty of free mobile and tablet apps that can assist you with this.Just SleepThat’s it, just sleep. Many people read, watch TV, talk with others, and eat in bed. Do not allow your brain the freedom to associate your bed to anything else but sleeping. This by itself can dramatically improve your sleep as you begin to associate just sleeping with your mattress and pillow.Sleeper’s Nutritional GuidelinesIt is a well known fact that what we ingest affects our body in immeasurable ways. By following some very simple nutritional guidelines you can dramatically improve the depth and restfulness of your sleep. Here are some suggestions to help you get started:Drink Warm MilkDid your mum ever give you warm milk before bed? If so, than how good did that make you feel? In small quantities milk has a very soothing effect on the body. By drinking a glass of warm milk just before bedtime, can soothe and relax both the body and mind.Drink Fewer LiquidsThis one is very simple. The more liquids you drink within 1 to 2 hours before bed, the greater your chances of waking up at night. It’s what Bart Simpson does to force himself to wake up early in the morning during Christmas. ?Eat an Early DinnerHave you ever gone to bed on a very full stomach? Was your sleep restful?If your body is doing the majority of its digestion at night, you will most likely wake up feeling sluggish and fatigued. The body’s nightly biological routine involves the process of repairing muscles, tissues and bones. These processes require blood to be redirected to these areas. If the majority of your blood is being directed towards the digestion of food, than you will suffer the consequences the next day. By eating a light dinner at least 3 hours before heading off to bed will assist in promoting deep and restful sleep.Eat High Protein SnackBy eating a high protein snack a few hours before bed will increase the production of melatonin and serotonin. This will promote a deeper and more restful nights sleep.Avoid Sleep SaboteursDeveloping good sleeping patterns and habits has got as much to do with what you do as it does with the things you should avoid doing. Here are some things you should avoid doing if you desire to effectively manage your sleep:Avoid Tossing and TurningThe moment you begin tossing and turning in bed, you should take it as a sign that you are not going to fall asleep anytime soon. Get up immediately or try one or more of the techniques and strategies discussed within this post.Avoid Prolonged NappingIf you take a nap for longer than 30 minutes your body will begin to enter a deep sleeping state. Awaking from this state will leave you feeling sluggish and may interfere with your biological clock. This means that when it’s time to go to sleep at night your body may instead want to run a marathon. ?Avoid Brain StimulationAvoid all brain stimulating activities 1 or 2 hours before heading off to bed. Activities such as watching television, finishing off work related tasks, or simply stressing about something will impact your sleeping pattern in negative ways.Avoid Consuming Sugars and GrainsBoth grains and sugars will affect your sleep in destructive ways. You may initially fall asleep after ingesting sugar, however later at night when your blood sugar levels drop too low, you may wake up and not be able to fall back asleep.Avoid Sleep Interfering ToxinsSleep interfering toxins such as caffeine, sleeping pills, smoking and alcohol, may initially make you feel relaxed and drowsy, however, long-term they will prevent you from experiencing a deep, unbroken and restful nights sleep.Final ThoughtsThrough consistent application of these key steps to a better nights sleep you are likely to experience a gradual improvement in your sleeping patterns over the course of several weeks and months. The secret is to be persistent and to try out as many strategies as possible. Some will obviously work better for you than others at different times. Once you have established what works and what doesn’t, you will have unlocked the key to a better nights sleep.I hope you enjoyed this post, and if you have any further thoughts, ideas, reflections or suggestions about this topic, than please feel free to comment below.Time to Assimilate these ConceptsBuy Map Using Map Free MapsDid you gain value from this article? Would you like to keep these concepts at the forefront of your mind? If so, then you might like to download the accompanying mind map reference poster to your iPad, tablet or computer. The map presents you with a quick overview of this article. It’s designed specifically to help improve your memory and recall of this information so that you can better integrate these concepts into your daily thoughts, habits and actions. Your purchase will also go a long way towards supporting the further development of these maps.If you enjoy using these maps, then why not become a IQ Matrix lifetime member where you will gain access to an ever growing number of hundreds of self-growth mind maps that can help you excel in every area of life. It would be fantastic to have you join our community of existing lifetime members.Gain More Knowledge…Here are some additional links and resources that will help you learn more about this topic:Trouble Sleeping – 10 Rules to Sleep Properly @ I Need MotivationTop 10 Ways to Power Nap Smarter and Better @ Ririan ProjectHow to Sleep More Effectively Starting Tonight @ Ririan Project9 Little Known Ways to Sleep so it Counts @ Ririan Project8 Tools for 8 Hours of Energy Boosting Sleep @ Ririan Project10 Tips for a Good Nights Sleep Without Pills @ Lifehack9 Great Tricks to Help You Sleep Like a Baby @ We the ChangeStressed Sleep: How to Stop Stressing About Work at Night @ The Daily MindCommon Mistakes Made While Forming a Sleep Pattern @ Avani Mehta31 Sleeping Lifehacks for Helping You Sleep Minus the Sheep @ Aim for AwesomeCan’t Sleep at Night: Here’s What to do… @ Life Learning TodayHow to Sleep When It’s Noisy Outside @ The Daily Mind5 Ways to Fall Asleep Quicker @ Dumb Little Man5 Unusual Ways to Achieve Super Quality Sleep @ Pick the BrainThe Ultimate Guide to Getting Great Sleep @ Practical Personal Development4 Ways to Get Great Sleep @ Pick the BrainThe Magic of a Good Nights Sleep, & How to Finally Get One @ Motivate Thy SelfThe Magical Light to Make You Sleep Well @ Crunch Gear6 Unexpected Tips for a Better Night’s Sleep @ Slow Down Fast Free Download: The Pillars of Success mind map and eBook. 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