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Funny / PAYDAY 2
Most of the pager responses are amusing, but
are the funniest by far.
One of Jimmy's pager lines has him
Some of Dallas's quotes are pretty hilarious, specially when he's badly injured:
I NEED A MEDIC BAAAAG!
Dallas: ARGH! I'M DYING! SOMEBODY DROP A MEDIC BAAAAG!
The friendly AI can lead to some very amusing moments - such as a bot teammate walking up and reviving you during a firefight, still incognito, before casually walking away to lean against a wall and enjoy a cigarette.
The enemy AI can also lead to some laughs, although more rarely. For instance, the static guard who always spawns at the gate on the Shadow Raid heist will almost never take notice of the player, even with the alarm blaring and civilians running past him screaming, so long as nobody fires an unsilenced weapon too close to him. This can even lead to situations such as players carrying loot bags running right past him, and he will stay right where he is, enjoying his cigarette.
There's also a certain chance where a Cloaker hides behind the doors or below the cars and
Making himself an easy target.
Most of the Specials have amusing quotes, but the Bulldozer's over-the-top trigger-happy violence and the Cloaker's casual disregard of the fourth wall are the highlights.
Cloaker: Next time, !
Bulldozer: , asshole!
The Pager Guy's responses to Wolf's , Houston's , Dallas's , Chains' , Hoxton's , Clover's , Dragan's , Jacket's , Bonnie's
and Jiro's
are almost always funny. It becomes moreso when certain lines match up - for instance, he may give the player some tips on hair care after Wolf mentions a
One of his lines when alerting the player to answer the pager takes the cake - "I don't care whose dick you're sucking, pick up the pager." Houston has a line that directly answers this - "Sorry, I banged my head on the toilet."
In the Watchdogs mission: the boatman's reaction to the player fumbling a cocaine duffel bag pass worth hundred grand.
Boatman: /
Fish AI: "."
Bain sometimes warn you when enemies use flashbangs. He tells you that if you see one,
For extra funsies, doing so gets the ""
(◊ ):
showing how to get this achievement, essentially meaning dozens of videos wherein the crew .
Some of Bain's suggestions are also pretty funny.
(when suggesting caustic soda) Says we need
to get this temperature up... Sounds odd. What have we got?
I'm just guessing at this point, these internet descriptions are iffy.
Fuck me, we need those cooks. I'm going with (ingredient).
Pretty much . It consists almost entirely of 'Old' Hoxton singing christmas-themed songs laden with thoroughly British profanity, including a
at those who cheat in online games.
Hoxton in the entire Hoxton B whether he is swearing with every other sentence, busting Houston's chops over being replaced by him, or delivering snark, the British mad man isn't afraid to let loose with his anger.
When they drop a dollar through the wall as the signal that they're ready, Hoxton dives onto it, to the chagrin of the guards. This is also the exact point the Hoxton Breakout starts in game.
Guard: Stop fuckin' around! Get up!
*Hoxton shows them the dollar*
Hoxton: Look at this! I'm rich!
*He tilts his head to the wall*
Hoxton: It's payday fellas!
*. The Guard extends his baton, Hoxton starts scrambling away*
Hoxton: I SAID IT'S FUCKIN' PAYDAY
Hoxton got a large shard of the wall jammed into his leg. Why? Houston was off on the C4 measurements. As if Hoxton didn't hate him enough already.
Hoxton: *Dallas pulls the shard out of his leg* AAAAAAGH!!! BLOODY HELL!!!
Dallas: Relax, you're going to be just fi—
Hoxton: What cock-sucking motherfucker measured the C4?!
*Houston turns and looks*
Hoxton: Had to be you...
*Houston scoffs and turns away*
Hoxton: Hey! I'm talkin' to you! You fuckin' twat!
Dallas: Jim. Relax.
Once everything is all said and done Hoxton reminds the crew he still needs a mask. Everyone looks to Houston...
Hoxton: .....It's alright. I came prepared. *Reaches into his jumpsuit and puts on a warped, distorted, and burned variant of his original mask before whistling Rule Britannia*
Houston: ...
Hoxton: DID YOU MISS ME, YOU WANKERS!?
Any time you headshot an enemy, their helmets - if they wear any - will go flying off in a fashion that never ceases to be either amusing or satisfying. One of the general perks references this directly, with an ability titled "Helmet Poppin'" granting 25% bonus headshot damage.
Hoxhud takes headshots can
That helmets are sent flying with a headshot is funny. That
and make the victims' necks temporarily
with a headshot before the helmet pops off is hilarious.
Hoxton also lampshades this tendancy as one of his possible lines at the beginning of Hoxton Breakout
"Hoxton: Yes,Yes! Now it's time to see helmets flying!"
have been leaked. They are very promising and amusing.
Now with Hoxton out and taking his name back, anytime he interacts with Houston, he'll take any moment to piss on him.
"Hey, shits for brains! Follow me!"
"Mother fucker! On me!"
"Hey Arsehole! Come with me!"
For even more hilarity, if Hoxton is downed and calls to Houston for help, he still refuses to call Houston by his name and will use vulgarities instead.
"Oi, asswipe! Gimme a hand!"
"Kiss my arse! Help me!"
As of Update 91, Houston is answering back with similar insults - but he does call Hoxton by name as well.
"Lipdick, follow me!"
"Teabag, on me, now!"
Everything Hoxton says during the Breakout, including whatever the hell "Kinky Night" is and laughing at the FBI Director's password of "iheartrainbows".
The GO Bank is very tense to do on a stealth run, but there are plenty of prank calls that help ease the tension and make you laugh. Such examples include:
Bain: "This is Robert's Bank.
How can I help you?"
Caller: "Hi, I'm havin' a problem with my account on the computer. Do I internet?"
Or perhaps:
Caller: "Can I transfer my money to another bank that won't be robbed?"
Made even better when he unceremoniously hangs up on them.
One of Hoxton's lines while being transported in the truck during the first day of the Hoxton Breakout is him remarking that at least he doesn't have Bain whining in his ear like a needy dog to go get the drill, referencing how annoyed players get during standard bank heists at Bain's constant reminders to pick up the drill that only cease after it's picked up for the first time.
Bain complaining about the price of a 1 hour ticket for the parking garage during Hoxton Breakout. Considering how much money they regularly get after a successful heist, it's ironic to hear him complain about a 7 dollar parking fee. It's even more funny on a meta level since the Hoxton Breakout was, at release, the highest paying heist in the entire game. The Alesso Heist
by allowing you to blow up a parking stub machine to get your money back, which also earns you an achievement!
In the Intro Track to the Christmas Soundtrack, during the discussion between Hoxton and his lawyer, as his lawyer is explaining how thoroughly the FBI got him, he asks how many times he'
During the Breakout mission, Hoxton may randomly remark he's going to miss beating Matt up... only to jokingly suggest breaking him out as well so he can keep beating him up.
Overkill released a PAYDAY 2-themed take on the classic . On the first day, Chains gets "a broke-dick piece of shit drill". Every time the song gets back to him, he becomes even more upset, to the point where day eleven is just him
. Wolf and Twitch's lyrics progressively get louder and louder until the two of them start screaming incomprehensibly by the final day due to Twitch having his tires shot and Wolf panicking from the huge horde of cops. Some of the lyrics are also quite hilarious:
Clover: (serenely) On the eleventh day of Christmas, PAYDAY gave t-(shouting) FUCK! Eleven doors to lockpick!?
The lyrics for the final day change slightly too to indicate how bad the situation is with "9 hostages fleeing" turning into "all hostages gone" as well as Wolf and Twitch screaming madly(Hoxton doesn't even get a final "2 years in jail", since Twitch's scream is that long). Ulf Andersson, Wolf's voice actor, screamed so loud during the recording of the song that he actually damaged his vocal cords.
Wolf: WHERE'S THE GETAWAYYYY!?!
It is also not only gang singing but the cops are singing, too. Including Bulldozers, Tazers, and general SWAT units.
A quick glance at Hoxton on the Sixth Day of Christmas shows the photo he's looking at, which seems to be an old colorless picture of the raising of the flag at Iwo Jima. Humorous at first, implying he's been in there awhile. Then you notice that the flag itself is hanging in the wrong direction and the men at the base are all wearing clown masks. That's right, it's a photo of the Payday gang stealing the Iwo Jima flag.
At the end of the song, all of the characters - including the heisters, Bulldozers, Tazers, and other SWAT - sing the final line in unison on a rooftop. We can hear Chains sing, "Fuck my life!", while another one sings "Goddammit!". Additionally, Twitch is on the roof... inside his van, which somehow made it up to the roof as well. And after the sustain ends, Wolf walks up to a GenSec Elite and shoots him in the face for no apparent reason, causing him to fall through a skylight.
from the Official Soundtrack finishes the song with Chains angrily stating that .
The screenshots get more and more outlandish as the song goes on with Hoxton giving up on his tally after several hundred days, the Dozers forming a human pyramid, Houston being dog-piled by the tazers, and Dallas facing down an army of cops and 3 helicopters inside a bank — to say nothing of the masses of drills screaming at Chains.
To boot, the video includes John Wick, proving that he's more than just a . And being funny since his character isn't one to burst into song whereas the other heisters would seem much more likely to sing on a night out.
Of course, Wick's main role in the carol is to be standing right by a wall through which the six Dozers charging
In the White Xmas Heist, Cloakers also wear...
Swerves into
as the jingling replaces their usual yell and .
Vlad's brother's drunken rambling.
Also the music, which sounds strangely hypnotic.
If you access the FBI Director's computer in the Hoxton Breakout Day 2, their incoming message tone is the cry of an eagle (well, .)
Hoxton can get a bit testy with hostages...
Stay down! ...yeah, I'm talking to you. ...no, don't answer back, you twat!
While stealthing the Diamond Heist, Bain will sometimes comment on how awesome Genghis Khan was, then regret that he can't join the Crew.
in Hoxton Breakout, Day 1 due to how unexpected it is seeing a Kill Dozer sitting on a swivel chair turning round to murder you
People take
to a new level with civilians. When casing a Bank people often just toss a grenade in the lobby. There's also something called "rocket science". By rocket science this means planting tripmines on the ground, getting a civilian to go near it and blow up the tripmines. The civilian will go flying sky-high!
With the BBQ Pack you can burn civilians too!
With the Overkill pack's release, several new achievements were added, including a little gem for completing
, with the newly added
and Rocket Launcher equipped rather appropriately titled "". Needless to say, .
can be expected to ensue during attempts to complete this achievement, as much of Shadow Raid consists of just barely skirting around guards. Of course, you could always just
Although Jacket is usually treated as rather horrifying, his workaround for remaining silent results in a lot of
involving the most absurdly violent and chaotic situations possible within the game. Have to defend yourself after you're caught during an attempt at stealth?
"We should go."
Similarly, when downed, he'll often simply state "I have made a mistake."
It's Spring Break 2015, and ◊
If you look at the stickers on the cars you need to steal in the Car Shop heist, you can see that not only are the cars secured by GenSec, they're also painted with a special paint that can resist grenades.
If you stealth Hoxton's Revenge, the Rat will .
If you take time to examine the evidence boards in Hoxton's Revenge, you can find that the FBI seems to be convinced that
of all people . This is in spite of the fact that he runs what may be the least subtle protection racket in history.
: The next free heist to be released following Hoxton's Revenge? Meltdown. In which Vlad sends the gang to steal NUCLEAR WARHEADS. Even Bain's reaction to it is priceless as he wonders what was going through Vlad's head at the time he thought of the plan.
Bain: "Vlad, are you fucking crazy!?
In The Alesso Heist, not only does Bain remind Wolf to stay off the dance floor, but you can find the ticket machine from Hoxton Breakout in the basement... and blow it up with C4 to get your seven bucks back. There is an achievement for this.
In Rats and, later, in Cook Off, the normally nigh-omniscient quality of Bain's intel takes a sharp nosedive into rapidly shifting through severely misinformed websites on how to cook meth. More than once the instructions are highly vague, and one particularly hot piece of information is outright wrong and will get you blown up.
Cloakers will usually hide underneath cars so they can pop out as you approach. They will sometimes hide under a car, even if you're clearly watching them. If their AI glitches out, they'll try to "hide" by laying out in the open with no cover.
sort of way, when stealthing the Big Bank, players simply need to interact with the vault's fingerprint scanner to start the process of getting it open. What do they do? They place a dismembered finger on the fingerprint scanner. Bain will quickly state that he gets these things on a "" basis. .
When Cloakers were first introduced to the game, there was a massive cry from players who hated how cheap they were with the instant takedown kicks and the trash talk given afterwards. Overkill decided to make the Cloaker the poster boy of abuse in later updates and trailers. To date, the Cloaker has been sniped in the head with an arrow by Wolf, had his skull crushed in by a hammer from Jacket, is the only enemy in the whole game that can be sliced in half with the katana, and one of the of 2015 Crimefest goals was to kill two million Cloakers. An email from Captain Winters to the Commissioner lampshades the Payday crew's sudden aggression towards Cloakers.
Winters: Sir, I?m sure your analysis department is all over this, but I wanted to ensure you were made aware of a recent disturbing development. It would appear that the Payday gang have been paying particular attention to our cloaker units. Reports of incidents of increased and sustained violence against them are flooding in. Can you think of why the Payday gang is suddenly turning on cloakers like that?
The trailer for the 2015 Crimefest shows Dallas, Wolf, Chains, Huston, and Clover exploring a dungeon to solve a puzzle for Bain. There's 4 doors where "3 he and a she" may enter through. Wolf excitedly runs ahead, only to be stopped by Dallas. Poor Wolf throws a silent fit and sulks as the rest of the crew move on ahead without him. On the Crimefest's web site, which is done in style of old school SNES sprites, you can see the other members of the crew waiting patiently while Wolf is fuming in a corner. To make things funnier, clicking on a challenge that was completed shows a heister opening a treasure chest a la , complete with the
pose! Additionally, the characters are rendered in low poloygon form to mimic the look of old games.
After the community firestorm arising from Crimefest 2015 Day 1, Day 3 brings us a new heist entitled, of all things, Aftershock, set in the ravaged landscape of a post-earthquake Los Angeles. You're sent there to recover, of all things, Vlad's safes. As in, the exact ones that caused this community uproar. Seeing how far ahead the map had to be planned, it's hilariously/painfully apt timing.
Wolf's After Party, where after sulking at being left behind for the exciting and fun dungeon crawl, we see that he's snuck along afterward anyway. He brought a duffel full of drills. The community essentially had a screaming ballistic fit at the presentation of the Vlad Safes being microtransactions for randomly-generated items, a practice that itself is seen as both incredibly shady as a business move and absolutely disastrous for every in-game economy they touch, but the groundwork for it being an epic-level troll move was laid from the beginning.
If you stealth First World Bank, you'll meet with an associate of Bain who will help you progress. Because the associate is needed to advance in the stealth phase, she cannot be killed. This doesn't stop people from impaling her with ninja stars, playing cards, and spears, which can be stuck to her body like a pincushion.
For the trippy, mind-screwing Halloween 2015 heist, Lab Rats, the new audio track isn't a terrifying set of strings, or a tense electronic anthem, but a mellow
of Houston's memetic "Don't act dumb!" on loop, named, fittingly enough, "Donacdum".
As part of the Crimefest 2015 celebration, the game opens with Thus Spoke Zarathustra playing over a view of Earth from space, then pans out to the moon, then further pans out to show Chains, dressed normally for a mission except for a clear glass dome over his head, slowly falling back down from a jump while Dallas, Houston, and Wolf watch. Next, Dallas and Wolf join in. Houston just stands there, prompting Bain to ask, "Houston, we have a problem?" An epic buildup, all for a pun.
In the remade Slaughterhouse job, entering the bathroom on the second floor will make your character comment on the smell.
Chains: Oh God, what the fuck is that? Hoxton: Christ...! Smells like Manchester! Houston: Christ! Smells like Detroit! Bonnie: Ugh! Smells like Thatcher's fuckin' cops! Wick: *sniff* Is it hippies?
The Birth of Sky heist has a sequence where you jump out of a plane after launching money out of the cargo hold. Jumping after the money without a parachute has predictable results, but it's made more hilarious that you're just taken into custody rather than dying on the spot.
Due to the way the game works, two players may be trying to take the same parachute at once, although only the first person to finish interacting will pick it up. This can lead to hilarious
situations where the second player, thinking they have a parachute, jumps out of the plane only to realise too late they did not pack a chute.
then becomes a more? literal trope.
Some of the voice lines heisters have while skydiving are pretty funny as well.
Bonnie: Scotland Air is comin' in to land!
Sokol: How do I slow down?!?
Jacket: This is a great opportunity to express satisfaction.
Overkill released a video to wish everyone a happy holiday in 2015 involving Chains's voice actor doing a skit as Bob Ross mixed with Chains. It's quite hilarious to see the normally
be so calm and collected until this bit:
Chains: Let's wash our brush here. Shake the excess off and then just
Hehehehe...I also think we all need to settle down and relax at this time of the year.
Especially because of his reaction to the Payday 12 Days of Christmas and the subject of the painting: placing a happy little drill.
In extremely rare circumstances, a single regular security guard can handcuff and effectively put an entire team into custody within seconds, .&
It gets even better when you realize that, while dozens of heavily trained SWAT teams can barely cause a disturbance for the Payday gang (armored, armed to the teeth career criminals), a simple rent-a-cop with 4 pairs of handcuffs can foil the plans of the would-be robbers.&
In addition, the guards can cuff in absurd circumstances, such as with their back turned to the player, through crates, and through walls.
heist is absurd enough on its own thanks to the bizarre and very random locations you can find the goats in, but there's new lines for the cops made specifically for the heist telling the players to "put down the goat and put their hands up".
The trailer itself is funny for how simple it is. You have things like Hoxton disassembling light posts to get a goat of the top, Chains watching in horror as a goat jumps up and down as it smashes the roof of a car in with terrifying strength, and Wolf pulling a balance beam act to get to a goat at the end. But the most hilarious part is that all of that are flashbacks for Dallas who's sitting in the passenger seat of getaway car, cop car lights blasting from the windows, filthy, tired, and through the grin of his mask Dallas' expression is completely readable: "Fuck everything about my day."
Chains: *In the back* Keep track of your fucking goat, Wolf!
Dallas: *Defeated sigh*
*Entire trailer rewinds to black*
Bain: Uh... ,
On April Fool's Day of 2016, Overkill released a patch to fix issues with the content released the previous day. Among the changes, it was said that some sound effects got .
There's the , which has the Payday Gang be the
film. While it's tempting to say the ENTIRE trailer is a front-to-back CMOF, this line from Hoxton (Who's had a pillow case over his head the entire time after coked-up Jimmy enters the room after the other Jimmy clone shoots himself in the head sums it up:
Hoxton: "Alright, seriously you wankers. "
The drawing used to promote the game's 100th update is fairly
showing the entire crew getting together to party and drink some champagne. However, two funny moments can be found in the image. One is Jimmy crouching down and reaching between Dallas' legs to have Sokol fill up his champagne glass, and the other is Houston popping the cork off a champagne bottle and
According to the ,
was never recruited into the PAYDAY gang, she just showed up in the middle of a firefight between the FBI and the Gang, and just started shooting at the cops.
Sydney's voice lines also add some humor, particularly when she kills a cloaker and tells him, "Sit on my dick, cloaker!" Not to mention when she answers a pager by singing "Down Under".
Sometimes, when
answers a pager, he'll ask if the Pager Guy has seen , and say that they should .
The trailer to the
has a recording from Bain saying that the safehouse is where the crew will stay and they can decorate themselves. Hoxton basically says fuck that and torches the entire safehouse. He then calls his butler Aldstone (voiced by John Cleese) to tell him that he's gonna move on ahead with the housewarming party while Aldstone either assumes or snark that Hoxton is "playing" cops and robbers. Aldstone flies over to the U.S. to help Hoxton set up the new place and then tells him
The very fact that Hoxton has a butler.
Most of the other heisters in the new Safehouse will talk to you if you interact with them:
Jimmy is passed out on the bar, and just mumbles every time you interact with him.
Talking to several heisters as Hoxton nets you some funny replies. Houston will angrily ask him what the fuck he wants and if he will get caught again. Dallas tells Hoxton to stop being so pissed off at the crew giving Hoxton's old mask to Houston while he thinks the new mask suits him better. Clover will ask Hoxton if he's still mad at her for double crossing him in a past robbery. Bonnie will ask Hoxton to warn her if he's going to blow this Safe House up too so that she can get her things out beforehand.
If you talk to Hoxton as Clover, he mentions that if Clover ever double-crosses him again, he'd forgive her again. After killing her.
Rust just complains in general and tells you to stop looking at him.
Dragan will suggest that you go work out with him and that you're getting fat.
If you interact with Sydney as
or Jiro, you'll get this:
Sydney (To Jacket): I like your style , Jacket. ,
People like us need to stick together.
Sydney (To Jiro): , will you teach me how to swing a sword and shit? I'd love to chop some heads off people, .
The housewarming party web site has each day accompanied by a comic book art that represents the content that was released on that day. Naturally, some funny moments pop up:
Day 4 shows off the stun grenade with Wolf excitedly holding a box full of the things. The Spotter and Twitch look on with extreme nervousness knowing just how batshit crazy Wolf is.
Day 6 shows , a new
that the crew will face during their heists. The image shows Commissioner Garret banging his desk in confidence that the medics will make life difficult for the PAYDAY gang and then he reels his hand back in pain. Cut to a half dozen medics in the room with one of them asking if he should take a look at Garret's injured hand while already reaching for his medical supplies.
Day 8 introduces mutations where players can play the game with custom rules. The image shows Clover telling Vlad
Everyone is playing a board game called "clowns & Cops".
For Christmas 2016, we got a new standalone song, and much like DonAcDum its' based entirely around a memetic line from the game. Ladies and gentlemen, here is the
gangsta rap song.
Due to the way melee weapons are programmed, all melee attacks are silent as far as stealth is concerned, regardless of how much noise they make. This includes the
(to compensate for this fact, it has the worst concealment of all melee weapons in the game), which can be revved by charging up a melee attack. You can, if you so desire, ,
Ilija, the sniper you can hire to help you on jobs, will occasionally
his role by introducing himself as the crew's 'Rent-A-Sniper.'
For those who love , you might enjoy the , which completely turns Jacket into a ,
who taunts anyone he kills with the power of , being voiced by .
Jacket (Masking up): *Windows XP startup sound*/Time to secure some , to buy some dank kush./,
Here it comes.
Jacket (Dominating a civilian): Stay on the ground or I'll destroy you!/Bad move! STAY DOWN!
Jacket (Calling another heister or tied-up civilian to his position): Do shit for me or I'll kill your family!/ Here, boy!
Jacket (Using Inspire to boost a teammate's movement speed): The Grand Pacer Fitness Test will begin in zero seconds!/Run like
Jacket (Using Inspire Aced to revive a teammate): Get up or you're not coming to the after-party, scrub!/You want to play
3?! Get up!/
Jacket (Spotting a camera in stealth):
See? There's the camera./!/Fuckwit!
Jacket (Spotting a Bulldozer): ////Step the fuck back, son!
Jacket (Spotting a Cloaker): Ninja././.
Jacket (Spotting a Taser): Try not to cry, the Taser faggot is here./
Jacket (Spotting a Sniper): !
Jacket (Killing a Cloaker): Jesus Christ,
/Don't worry ladies, I got Sam./,
Jacket (Killing a Bulldozer): Sent /I killed that
Jacket (Killing a Taser): The Taser came to a... end. olololololol/The Taser
Jacket (Killing a Shield): Shield...isn't that for protecting your balls?
Jacket (Killing a Medic:) Try and
now, faggots!
Jacket (Low health): /MMMOOOTHHEERRR FUUUUCKKEEERRR!/Help. I can see the light!/Sad face.
Jacket (Requesting a Doctor Bag, aka the second half of the low health message): Where's the nearest toilet? Because I feel like shit./I really need a First Aid Kit. Will you selfish cunts provide?
Jacket (Deploying a First Aid Kit): I'm gonna give you ./Here's a First Aid Kit.
Jacket (Deploying an Ammo Bag): Here's an ammo bag for you wasteful shitheads.
Jacket (Deploying a Doctor Bag): Here's a meme bag so you get your daily dose of funnies./Here's some random drugs I found in the trash.
Jacket (Calling other teammates while downed): -/H...E...L...P.
Jacket (Pointing out a broken drill): ,
Jacket (Finishing a heist, either in stealth or between assault waves): First thing I'm gonna do, I'm gonna buy me a /Grab the bitches, it's time to party!
Jacket (Finishing a heist during an assault wave): How many fucking civs did you kill? Scrub.../Finally. I need a goddamn vacation.
Jacket (First World Bank speech): Hey listen up, faggots. This is a robbery.
If you stand up, I'll fucking quick-scope you and
Now behave yourselves before I send you to the time-out corner six feet under
Jacket (Interrogating the Taxman in Undercover):
Jacket: (Throwing a grenade): /
Jacket: (Jumping off the cargo plane during Birth Of Sky):
./Don't be a pussy, jump!
Jacket: (Going to the wrong way):
I was pretty sure that it was the right way. .
Jacket: (Going to the right way): Fucking finally!
Jacket (Answering the pager):
IF YOU CALL THIS NUMBER AGAIN /,
Jacket (During stealth as an AI Teammate): I can't be fucked. You fucking do the work, faggot./So sorry, I cannot help, I... /Use caution, !
Some of the nicknames he gives to the other heisters when calling to them can also be pretty hilarious.
Jacket (Calling to Dallas): .../...
Jacket (Calling to Houston): Dallas Jr...
Jacket (Calling to Hoxton):
Jacket (Calling to Wolf): /Wolf, my friend...
Jacket (Calling to Wick):
guy.../...
Jacket (Calling to Bonnie):
Jacket (Calling to Sokol): kol...
Jacket (Calling to Jiro): Anime faggot...
fans out there, there's a modification that replaces the Cloaker's lines with Frank's voice, specially the Pink Guy and Lemon screams.
Cloaker: What's that? No, I just can't hear you over
Cloaker (Charging): Hey ese, I broke into your car!/A CHING CHONG PING LING!
Cloaker: BOOM SHAKA LAKA, Here comes the spirit man!/Here comes the medicine lady!
Cloaker (Getting killed): /BOOM!
And of course, there's a modification that replaces Bodhi's lines with the
To add some milk and cookies, there's a modification called Bulldozer Simulator, which allows you to play the heists as a Skulldozer! Have fun
while being a
, enough to put the Cloaker to shame. Sadly,
An understated one. You expect the Payday Gang to be consummate professionals, sourcing their weapons carefully so they can't be traced and making sure they don't have any identifying features. Except the AK5 apparently - It still has a blatantly obvious asset tag on the lower receiver that just has permanent marker scribbled over it. The asset number is still clearly readable. No combination of mods will remove this sticker either, though skins will.
There's a video of Dallas trying to create a paper doll version of himself while giving the viewer step by step instructions. He botches his cutting a few times and also winds up cutting his finger. In the end, he finishes the build and places it next to the other paper dolls of the crew and the Cloaker while
However, a
comment claims that the Cloaker
(Along with the hashtag )
During Hoxton Breakout, Hoxton muses how much fun he had beating up
and sarcastically jokes the gang should break him out too, so Hoxton can continue thrashing him. With the Search for Kento and the remake of Heat Street, it's revealed that Matt Roscoe is indeed out of prison, you have to chase him down again , and in all likelihood Hoxton will wind up beating the crap out of him again.
After the release of the , you may notice that some of the achievement icons have a very humorous look. The difficulty achievements on the recent heist shows up as
(which is obviously ). The name for the achievement after beating it in Mayhem difficulty? "".
And the "It's Nice To Be Nice" () features
During the First World Bank heist, any AI heisters might jump up on the counters in the main hall and "Listen up, this is a robbery. We're after the bank's money, not yours. Your money is protected by the federal government, you won't lose a dime. Consider your loved ones and stay down, and this will be over soon". What makes it funny is that every heister has a variation on this speech that says it almost verbatim..., who communicates with a number of random prerecorded statements played via tape - which makes one wonder WHY the company that created these tapes recorded such a specific message for something of a criminal intent in the first place.
Jiro's speech, like most of his other lines of dialogue, is given entirely in Japanese. Given that English is the most commonly spoken language in the US...
Vernon Locke is pretty affable and generally treats you like respected employees when things are going right. Take too long to do any task, however, and he quickly explodes
the quotes that come from this are always amusing:
"Are you so dumb, that the third pallet, a fucking inanimate object, can hide from you!?"
"Listen: Be a good little criminal, and press that fucking button."
"Augh, fuck me with a firestick. Fucking pallet broke, and they've got fucking bundles of cash lying around like an old whore's knickers!"
Most of Locke's lines whenever you kill a Murkywater goon are good for a laugh:
"Fucker owed me twenty dollars! Ah well."
"Why was he there?! He's the cook!"
He always wanted to die getting fucked. Shame it wasn't in a brothel.
Everytime you kill an enemy (including )
as they're trying to take the PAYDAY Gang down is .
Cloaker: Now cry for mom to change your diapers- *Gets set on fire*
Medic: Cops always win- GGAARRGGHH!!!
One of the modifiers you can activate in Crime Spree mode introduces a new unit: the Medic Bulldozer, who has unique lines ridiculing both the Payday gang and his own teammates.
Medic!Dozer: Results are back: You're a bitch!
Medic!Dozer: Oh, you slip on a puddle of ? Get up!
Medic!Dozer: ! Don't piss your pants! Now up!
Medic!Dozer: Those clowns are laughing at 'ya! Get up!
Medic!Dozer: I said: !
Medic!Dozer: Good news: Free healthcare! Bad news: I'm your doctor!
Medic!Dozer: You'd never guess I went to med school, !
While the regular SWAT units may not be flashy as the special units, but they have some pretty amusing voice lines:
SWAT Unit: I hope you
SWAT Unit: This is a colossal goatfuck!
SWAT Unit (Reacting to the OVE9000 Saw): !
SWAT Unit: In the words of , 'This Is It'.
SWAT Unit (Spotting a Sentry Gun): Fucking Sci-Fi robot guns!
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Funny/PAYDAY2