[美剧] 好汉两个半/Two And A Half Men 全集第1季第1集剧本完整版剧本 台词 字幕 笔记 中英文对照 纯英文 学英语 文本 PDF 文档 电子版 纸质版《好汉两个半 Two and a Half Men》近几年来最火的喜剧。[展开全文]
《好汉两个半 Two and a Half Men》近几年来最火的喜剧。【剧本】：- So, what do you think? - Wow.=>- 所以你怎么看？ - 哇。 It's for you, right? It's for both of us.=> 这是给你的，对不对？这是为了我们俩。 Don't go away.=> 不要走开。 Don't worry.=> 别担心 There's not enough blood left in my legs to go anywhere.=> 我腿上没有足够的血液去任何地方。 Hey, it's Charlie.=> 嘿，这是查理。 Do your thing when you hear the beep.=> 当你听到嘟嘟声时做你的事。 Listen, you lousy S.=> 听着，你很糟糕O.=>O.B.=>B., I will not be treated like this.=>，我不会这样对待的。 Either you call me, or you are gonna be very, very sorry.=> 要么你打电话给我，否则你会非常非常抱歉。 I love you, Monkey Man.=> 我爱你，猴子。 Charlie? Who was that? Damn telemarketers.=> 查理？那是谁？该死的电话推销员。 A telemarketer who calls you Monkey Man? I'm on some weird list.=> 一个叫你猴子的电话推销员？我在一些奇怪的名单上。 Okay, it's a woman I went out with once and she got a little clingy.=> 好，这是我一次出去的女人，她有一点小气。 You are a bad, bad boy.=> 你是个坏男孩。 And yet, you're always the one getting spanked.=> 然而，你总是被打屁股的人。 Jeez.=> 天啊。 Hey, it's Charlie.=> 嘿，这是查理。 Do your thing when you hear the beep.=> 当你听到嘟嘟声时做你的事。 Charlie, it's Alan.=> 查理，这是艾伦。 Your brother.=> 你的兄弟。 No big deal, just wanted to touch base.=> 没什么大不了的，只想触摸底座。 My wife threw me out, and I'm kind of losing the will to live.=> 我的妻子把我扔了出去，我有点失去了生活的意志。 So, when you get a chance, I'd really love to I don't know Alan, I'm sorry to hear about that.=> 所以，当你有机会时，我真的很喜欢我不认识艾伦，我很遗憾听到这个消息。 So, where you gonna go, to a hotel? Wow.=> 那么，你要去哪里，到酒店？哇。 Well, yeah, I guess you could stay here.=> 好吧，我想你可以留在这里。 Okay.=> 好的。 I'll see you when you get here.=> 当你到达这里，我会见到你。 We better hurry.=> 我们最好快点。 Is she staying over? Because I may have parked behind her.=> 她住过吗？因为我可能停在她身后。 Twelve years, and she just throws me out.=> 十二年，她只是抛出我。 I mean, what was the point of our wedding vows? You know, "Till death do us part.=> 我的意思是，我们的结婚誓言的重点是什么？你知道，“直到死亡，我们的一部分。 " Who died? Not me.=> “谁死了？不是我。 Not her.=> 不是她。 How did you get in my house? Okay, Charlie, the key in the fake rock only works if it's among other rocks.=> 你是怎么进我家的？好吧，查理，假岩石的关键只有在其他岩石中才有效。 Not sitting on your welcome mat.=> 不坐在你的欢迎垫上。 Excuse me, but if you put the fake rock in with a bunch of other rocks, it's impossible to find when you're drunk.=> 对不起，如果你把假岩石和其他一些岩石放在一起，就不可能发现你什么时候喝醉了。 You know, I'm a good husband.=> 你知道，我是一个好丈夫。 I'm faithful.=> 我很忠诚 - Is she? - Is she what? Faithful.=>
- 她？ - 她是什么？可信。 Don't be ridiculous.=> 不要太荒谬 Judith doesn't even like sex.=> 朱迪丝甚至不喜欢性。 I mean, all she kept saying was she feels suffocated, you know? She kept going on and on, "I'm suffocating.=> 我的意思是，她一直说的是她感到窒息，你知道吗？她不停地继续前进，“我很窒息。 " What does that mean, you know? Has a woman ever said that to you? Well, yeah.=> “这是什么意思，你知道吗？有一个女人曾经对你说过吗？ But not a woman who doesn't like sex.=> 但不是一个不喜欢性的女人。 And Jake.=> 和杰克。 This could just destroy Jake.=> 这可能会毁掉杰克。 - Jake? - My son.=> 杰克？ - 我的儿子。 Teenagers are pretty sophisticated these days.=> 现在的青少年相当复杂。 He's 10.=> 他十岁了 - Charlie, I'm going to go.=> 查理，我要走了。 - No.=>
- 没有 You two need to talk.=> 你们俩需要谈谈。 I'll call you tomorrow.=> 我明天给你打电话。 I'm sorry to hear about you and your wife.=> 我很遗憾听到你和你的妻子。 Come on, you leaving isn't gonna bring them back together again.=> 来吧，你离开不会再把他们带回来。 Look, okay, this is just until things settle out.=> 看，好吧，这是事情解决之前。 A couple of days max.=> 最多几天 She will come to her senses.=> 她会感觉到的。 Yeah.=> 是啊。 That's what women do.=> 这就是女人所做的。 Look, you can have the guest room.=> 看，你可以有客房。 I'll grab some sheets.=> 我会拿一些床单。 That's okay.=> 没关系。 I brought my own.=> 我带来了我自己的。 You brought your own sheets? I like my sheets.=> 你带来了自己的床单？我喜欢我的床单。 - Okay, then, good night.=>
- 好的，晚安。 - No, wait.=>
- 不，等等 I mean, we hardly ever talk to each other.=> 我的意思是，我们几乎没有互相交谈。 What do you want to talk about, Alan? I don't know.=> 艾伦，你想谈什么？我不知道。 I was named Chiropractor of the Year by the San Fernando Valley Chiropractic Association.=> 我被圣费尔南多山脊脊骨疗法协会评为年度脊医。 - Okay, then.=> - 好吧。 Good night.=> 晚安。 - No.=>
- 没有 Charlie, what about you? What's going on with you? Well, Alan, there's not much to say.=> 查理，那你呢？你怎么了？那么，艾伦，没什么好说的。 I make a lot of money for doing very little work.=> 我做很少的工作赚了很多钱。 I sleep with beautiful women who don't ask about my feelings.=> 我和那些不问我情绪的美女睡觉。 I drive a Jag, I live at the beach, and sometimes in the middle of the day, for no reason at all, I like to make myself a big pitcher of margaritas and take a nap out on the sundeck.=> 我开了一个Jag，我住在沙滩上，有时甚至在一天中间，没有任何理由，我喜欢让自己成为一个玛格丽塔酒的大投手，在日光浴平台上打个盹。 - Okay, then.=> - 好吧。 Good night, Charlie.=> 晚安，查理。 - Good night.=> - 晚安。 Good night, Monkey Man.=> 晚安，猴子。 Boy, is your eye red.=> 男孩，你的眼睛是红的。 You should see it from in here.=> 你应该从这里看到它。 What are you doing here, Jake? My mom brought me.=> 杰克，你在这里干什么？我的妈妈带我来 Will you take me swimming in the ocean? Can we talk about it after my head stops exploding? Why is your head exploding? Well, I drank a little too much wine last night.=> 你会带我在海里游泳吗？我的脑袋停止爆炸之后，我们可以谈谈吗？你的头为什么会爆炸？那我昨天晚上喝了太多酒。 If it makes you feel bad, why do you drink it? Nobody likes a wiseass, Jake.=> 如果这让你感觉不好，为什么要喝它？杰克，没人喜欢聪明人。 You have to put $1 in the swear jar.=> 你必须把1美元放在发誓罐子里。 You said "ass.=> 你说“屁股。 " Tell you what, here's $20.=> “告诉你，这是20美元。 That should cover me till lunch.=> 这应该涵盖我，直到午餐。 Now, what I think you need to do is to make a list.=> 现在，我认为你需要做一个清单。 On one side, put what you don't like about our marriage, and on the other side, what you do.=> 一方面，把你对我们的婚姻不喜欢的东西，另一方面，你做了什么。 Alan, sometimes when I think about coming home to you, I start crying in my car.=> 艾伦，有时当我想回家给你，我开始在我的车里哭。 Okay, that would probably go on the "don't" side.=> 好吧，这可能会在“不”的一面。 Why would I lie? The ocean is closed today.=> 我为什么要说谎？海洋今天关闭了。 For God's sake, do you think you could put some pants on? Look at me, Judy.=> 看在上帝的份上，你觉得你可以穿上裤子吗？看着我，朱迪。 I could barely make it down the stairs.=> 我几乎可以把它放下楼梯。 Charlie, could you and Jake Yeah, come on, kid, we'll have breakfast out on the deck.=> 查理，你能不能和杰克是啊，来吧，孩子，我们会在甲板上吃早饭。 I already had breakfast.=> 我已经吃过早饭了 - Okay, we'll have lunch.=>
- 好的，我们会吃午饭。 - It's not lunchtime.=>
- 这不是午餐时间。 That's his head exploding.=> 这是他的头爆炸。 Judith, I can change.=> 朱迪思，我可以改变。 Please, Alan.=> 请，艾伦。 You are the most rigid, inflexible, obsessive, anal-retentive man I've ever met.=> 你是我见过的最僵硬，僵硬，迷恋，肛门保守的人。 Rigid and inflexible? Don't you think that's a little redundant? My mom and dad are splitting up.=> 刚性和不灵活？你不觉得这有点多余吗？我的妈妈和爸爸正在分手。 Yeah.=> 是啊。 It looks that way.=> 它看起来这样。 You're lucky.=> 你很幸运 When I was your age, I could only dream about my parents splitting up.=> 当我和你同龄的时候，我只能梦见父母分手。 - Your mom is my grandma.=>
- 你妈妈是我的奶奶 - Yep.=>
- 是的 Grandma says you're a bitter disappointment.=> 奶奶说你很失望 Hey, sport, your mom wants to say goodbye.=> 嘿，运动，你妈妈想说再见。 Listen, he doesn't know anything about what's going on, so let's just keep this to ourselves.=> 听着，他不知道发生了什么，所以让我们把这个留给自己。 Our little secret.=> 我们的小秘密 So, we decided that Jake would stay with me.=>所以，我们决定杰克留在我身边。 With you? Well, with us.=> 和你？那么，和我们在一起。 I'm hungry.=> 我饿了。 Is this gonna be a problem? I guess not.=> 这会是一个问题吗？我猜不会。 Thanks.=> 谢谢。 Listen, I've got to call my office.=> 听着，我得打电话给我的办公室。 Would you mind making him lunch? - Sure.=> 你介意让他吃午饭吗？ - 当然。 - Thanks.=> - 谢谢。 What are you smiling about? You don't have any food.=> 你在笑什么？你没有任何食物 Yeah, but I'm not the one who's hungry.=> 是的，但我不是那个饿的人。 Who's smiling now, shorty? - You drink milk? - Just with cereal.=> 现在谁在微笑，矮个子？ - 你喝牛奶？ - 只要谷物。 - Okay.=> - 好的。 - Not that milk.=>
- 不是那个牛奶 That milk.=> 那牛奶 - What's the difference? - That's Dairy Farm.=> - 有什么不同？那是奶牛场 We drink Dairy Barn.=> 我们喝牛奶店。 Fine.=> 精细。 Happy? Why would I be happy? It's just milk.=> 快乐？为什么我会快乐？这只是牛奶。 Cute.=> 可爱。 Keep it up, you'll be on one of the cartons.=> 保持它，你会在一个纸箱。 Okay, cereal.=> 好，麦片 We got Lucky Charms, Cocoa Puffs, Frosted Flakes and Maple Loops.=> 我们得到幸运的魅力，可可泡芙，磨砂片和枫叶圈。 I want Maple Loops.=> 我想要枫环。 You know who wrote that song? - Your uncle Charlie wrote that.=> 你知道这首歌是谁写的吗？ - 你的叔叔查理写的。 - No lie? If I was to lie, I'd say I wrote Stairway to Heaven, not the Maple Loops song.=> - 没有谎言？如果我要说谎，我会说我写了“天国的阶梯”，而不是“枫树圈”的歌。 - You two are really good together.=>
- 你们俩真的很好。 - Thank you.=> - 谢谢。 So, does your wife sing, too? - No, I'm not married.=> 那么，你的妻子也唱歌吗？ - 不，我还没结婚。 - What a shame.=> - 多可惜。 Wow.=> 哇。 You're even better than a dog.=> 你甚至比狗更好。 Dr.=> 博士 Bloom? Yes, this is Alan Harper.=> 盛开？是的，这是艾伦·哈珀。 My wife and I need to cancel our marriage counseling appointment for this afternoon.=> 我和我的妻子今天下午需要取消我们的婚姻咨询预约。 Yes, well, something came up.=> 是的，好吧，出现了一些事情。 Well, it's kind of personal.=> 那么，这是个人的。 I mean Well, yeah, I know the point of these things is I've got to go.=> 我的意思是，是的，我知道这些事情的重点是我必须走了。 - Hello? - Is Charlie home? No.=> - 你好？ - 查理在家吗？没有。 I'm Charlie's brother.=> 我是查理的兄弟 Can I help you? Hi, Charlie's brother.=> 我能帮你吗？嗨，查理的兄弟 I'm Rose.=> 我是罗斯。 I'm Charlie's housekeeper.=> 我是查理的管家。 So, you're a housekeeper? Housekeeper /actress/hand model.=> 那么，你是一个管家？管家/女演员/手模型。 I just do this to keep the wolf from the door.=> 我只是这样做，保持从门外的狼。 You know what I mean? Sure.=> 你知道我的意思？当然。 Come on in.=> 进来。 Yeah, I can smell him.=> 是的，我可以闻到他的味道。 Smell who? Your brother.=> 闻谁？你的兄弟。 He has a very musky scent.=> 他有一种非常麝香的气味。 Well, I'll just let you get to work.=> 那么，我会让你去工作。 Wait.=> 等待。 No.=> 没有。 It's okay.=> 没关系。 Jake, buddy.=> 杰克，哥们。 Take a break.=> 休息一下。 What took you so long? We stopped for ice cream because I'm a babe magnet.=> 你怎么这么久？我们因为是宝贝磁铁而停下来吃冰淇淋。 I got to take a squirt.=> 我得坐一趟。 Why do you assume he learned that from me? Because I learned it from you.=> 你为什么认为他从我那里学到了？因为我从你那里学到了 - Hey, thanks for cleaning up.=>
- 嘿，谢谢你的清理。 - No, it wasn't me.=>
- 不，不是我。 Rose was here.=> 罗丝在这里。 Rose? You let Rose into my house? She said she was your maid.=> 玫瑰？你让玫瑰进入我的房子？她说她是你的女仆。 Hell, she glued the damn cabinets shut again.=> 地狱，她把那该死的柜子再次关上了。 Again? You've got somebody who comes in regularly to glue your cabinets? You've met some of the whack jobs I've gone out with.=> 再次？你有谁经常进来粘合你的橱柜？你已经遇到了一些我一直在做的重击工作。 - It's not that big a stretch.=> 这不是那么大的 - So, this is my fault? Who let her in? You're a deeply disturbed man, you know? Move it.=> 所以这是我的错？谁让她进来？你是一个深深的不安的人，你知道吗？移动它。 Come on.=> 来吧。 I'm deeply disturbed? Who came here in the middle of the night with his own sheets? At least, I care what I sleep on.=> 我深感不安？谁是半夜来到这里的呢？至少，我在乎我睡觉。 Or should I say, who I sleep on.=> 或者我应该说，我睡在谁身上。 Hey, pal, of the two of us, I'll bet I'm the only one who's slept with a married woman recently.=> 嘿，朋友，我们两个，我敢打赌，我是唯一一个最近和一个已婚女人睡在一起的人。 And isn't that something to brag about? Hi, Mom.=> 这不是吹嘘什么吗？嗨，妈妈 Do you have any idea how hurtful it is to hear about your own son's divorce on the street? What divorce? What street? How did you get in my house? You stay out of this.=> 你有什么想法听到你自己的儿子在街上离婚有多么伤人？什么离婚？什么街道？你是怎么进我家的？你不要这样 I'm here to help your brother through a very difficult time.=> 我在这里帮助你的兄弟度过一个非常困难的时刻。 How could you do this to me? Do what? Now when I want to see my grandson I am going to have to make an appointment with Judith, who, let's face it, was never very warm to me.=> 你怎么能这么对我？做什么？现在当我想见到我的孙子的时候，我将不得不与朱迪说一下，朱迪思，我们面对它，从来没有对我很温暖。 And what if there's another man there? Shacking up with her? Have we even stopped to consider that? I think he's considering it now, Mom.=> 如果那里还有另一个人呢？和她打架？我们甚至停下来考虑呢？妈妈，我想他现在在考虑这个。 - Here's your iced tea, Grandma.=>
- 这是你的冰茶，奶奶 - Thank you, my little angel.=>
- 谢谢你，我的小天使 Darling, I asked for a lemon wedge.=> 亲爱的，我要求一个柠檬楔子。 All right.=> 好吧。 Here's what you're going to do.=> 这是你要做的。 You and Jake will come live with me.=> 你和杰克会跟我一起生活。 After all, I'm just rattling around in that big house all by myself.=> 毕竟，我只是一个人在这个大房子里晃悠。 That's very considerate, but as soon as Judith and I work things out, I'm going to be back at my own house.=> 这是非常体贴的，但是只要朱迪思和我解决了问题，我就会回到自己的房子。 Sweetheart, grow up.=> 亲爱的，长大了。 Think about what I said.=> 想想我说的。 You're my son, and I'll always have room for you in my house and in my heart.=> 你是我的儿子，在我的房子里和我心中，我总是有空间给你。 I love you, too, Mom.=> 我也爱你，妈妈。 - I love you, too, Mom.=> 我也爱你妈妈 - Too little.=>
- 太少了。 Too late.=> 太晚了。 - So, Vegas was good? - It was fine.=>
- 所以，拉斯维加斯很好？ - 很好。 Alan, I really want to apologize for putting you through this.=> 艾伦，我真的想道歉为你解决这个问题。 I was wrong to blame you for my unhappiness.=> 我不应该因为我的不快而责备你。 No, no need to apologize.=> 不，不需要道歉。 What's important is that we're here and we're working on our marriage.=> 重要的是我们在这里，我们正在努力结婚。 You look great, by the way.=> 顺便说一句，你看起来很棒。 Must be all the extra oxygen they pump into the casinos.=> 必须是所有额外的氧气，他们泵入赌场。 - Alan - And you were right.=>
- 艾伦 - 你说得对。 I see now that the time apart did us both a lot of good.=> 我现在看到，除了我们两人之外，我们都很好。 I know I've grown.=> 我知道我已经长大了。 I'm not that suffocating guy you threw out of the house four and a half days ago, let me tell you that.=> 我不是那个你四天半前从房子里suff出来的令人窒息的家伙，让我告诉你。 Jake's doing fine.=> 杰克做得很好。 You were concerned about him being around my brother, but Charlie's great with kids.=> 你担心他在我哥哥身边，但查理和孩子们在一起很棒。 All right, last card, down and dirty.=> 好吧，最后一张牌，下来，肮脏。 King's bet.=> 国王的赌注 - $1.=>
-
$ 1 - I'm in.=> - 算我一个。 In.=> 在。 I'll see $1 and raise it $5.=> 我会看到1美元，并提高5美元。 You raised $5 on that? - I call.=> 你筹集了5美元？ - 我打电话。 - I call.=> - 我打电话。 Queens full of nines.=> 女王充满了九点。 Kid, don't you know what a full house is? Yeah.=> 孩子，你不知道什么是满屋吗？是啊。 And I also know what a psych-out is.=> 而且我也知道这是一个什么样的问题。 I love this boy.=> 我爱这个男孩。 And I think we're gonna look back on this as a new beginning for our marriage.=> 而且我想我们会回顾这个作为我们婚姻的新开始。 A rebirth.=> 重生。 A renaissance, if you will.=> 文艺复兴，如果你愿意的话。 Alan, I think I'm gay.=> 艾伦，我觉得我是同性恋。 All right.=> 好吧。 We'll make a list.=> 我们将列出一个清单。 On one side, we'll put gay stuff I'll see you and raise you $20.=> 一方面，我们会把同性恋的东西，我会看到你，并提高你20美元。 - I think he's got you, pal.=>
- 我认为他有你，朋友。 - He's bluffing.=>
- 他在虚张声势 How about it, Mighty Mouse? You in? Take him down.=>怎么样，强大的老鼠？你呢？把他放下。 Call you.=> 给你打电话 I hate this kid.=> 我讨厌这个孩子 What the hell is going on here? You said "hell.=> 这到底是怎么回事？你说“地狱。 " - Throw $1 in the pot.=> “ - 在锅里扔1美元。 - What? Hey, we all had to.=> - 什么？嘿，我们都必须。 Charlie, may I speak with you privately, please? - Whose deal is it? - Jake, go to bed! I'm out.=> 查理，我可以私下和你谈谈吗？ - 谁的交易？ - 杰克，去睡觉吧！我出去了。 What is wrong with you? Are you insane? Do you have any sense of right and wrong? Probably not.=> 你怎么了？你疯了？你有没有对与错的感觉？可能不会。 How was dinner? How could you put Jake in a poker game with grown men? I obviously can't be trusted.=> 晚餐怎么样？你怎么能把杰克和成年男子打成一场扑克比赛呢？我显然不能被信任。 So, how was dinner? I leave you alone with him for a couple of hours I'm just gonna keep asking, Alan.=> 那么，晚餐怎么样？我留下你一个人陪他几个小时，我只是会问，艾伦。 Dinner was swell.=> 晚餐膨胀。 We both had the veal piccata and she's gay! Wow.=> 我们都有小牛肉piccata和她是同性恋！哇。 Most chicks won't eat veal.=> 大多数小鸡不会吃小牛肉。 Why do I even try talking to you? Come on, I'm just trying to get you to lighten up a little.=> 我甚至为什么要跟你说话？来吧，我只是想让你减轻一点点。 I don't need to lighten up.=> 我不需要减仓。 The world I live in is dark.=> 我住的世界是黑暗的。 Dark and rainy.=> 黑暗和多雨。 And you're useless in it! Really? I wasn't useless when you needed a place to stay.=> 而你没用！真？当你需要一个地方停留的时候，我并没有什么用处。 Obviously that was a mistake.=> 显然这是一个错误。 Are you sure? Maybe we should make a list.=> 你确定？也许我们应该列一个清单。 Uncle Charlie? What's going on? Can't sleep? No.=> 查理叔叔？这是怎么回事？睡不着？没有。 My dad says we're moving to Grandma's tomorrow.=> 我爸说我们明天要去奶奶的 Yeah, that'd keep me up.=> 是的，那会让我不高兴。 If it makes you feel any better, you won $80 on that last hand.=> 如果这让你感觉好一些，那么最后你赢了$ 80。 $85.=> $ 85 $80.=> $ 80 The house gets a cut.=> 房子被砍了 I wish my dad was as cool as you.=> 我希望我的爸爸和你一样酷。 Don't sell your dad short.=> 不要卖你的爸爸短。 He loves you more than anything in the world.=> 他比世界上任何事物都更爱你。 You know that, don't you? I guess.=> 你知道吗，不是吗？我猜。 How come you don't have any kids? I don't know.=> 你怎么没有孩子？我不知道。 Maybe because I love me more than anything in the world.=> 也许是因为我比世界上任何事物都更爱我。 - Uncle Charlie? - Yeah? I don't want to go to Grandma's.=>
- 查理叔叔？ - 是吗？我不想去奶奶的。 I'd rather stay here.=> 我宁愿呆在这里。 Yeah, well, your dad knows what's best for you.=> 是啊，你爸爸知道什么是最适合你的。 Okay.=> 好的。 Good night, Uncle Charlie.=> 晚安，查理叔叔。 I love you.=> 我爱你。 Yeah.=> 是啊。 Okay.=> 好的。 You got to love a kid like that.=> 你得爱上那样的孩子 I even played him Stairway to Heaven and he still liked the Maple Loops song better.=> 我甚至把他当成了“天国的阶梯”，他还是更喜欢枫树圈的歌。 Charlie, I haven't seen you in two weeks.=> 查理，我两个星期没见你。 You finally got the house back to yourself.=> 你终于把房子拿回自己了。 Now, do you want to talk about your nephew, or do you want to have sex? Sex.=> 现在，你想谈谈你的侄子，还是想要做爱？性别。 Definitely sex.=> 绝对是性。 - Let me ask you something.=> - 让我问你一件事。 - Yeah? Do you ever think about having kids? Whoa, we've got a good thing going.=>
- 是吗？你有没有想过有孩子？哇，我们有一件好事。 Can't we just leave it at that? What are you doing? I thought we were gonna have sex.=> 我们不能把它留在那？你在做什么？我以为我们会发生性行为 How am I supposed to have sex while your biological clock is going off? Hey, it's Charlie.=> 当你的生物钟掉电时，我该怎么做爱？嘿，这是查理。 Do your thing when you hear the beep.=> 当你听到嘟嘟声时做你的事。 Hi, Monkey Man.=> 嗨猴子 I was just thinking about you and wondering why we hurt each other so much.=> 我只是想着你，想知道为什么我们这么伤害对方。 Rose, it's me, Monkey Man.=> 罗斯，是我，猴子。 - Charlie? - Yeah, listen, let me ask you a question.=>
- 查理？ - 是啊，听着，让我问你一个问题。 Is there something inherently wrong with asking a woman you're involved with if she wants kids? Charlie, we got a good thing going, why do you want to mess it up? Look at you.=> 问问一个女人，如果她想要孩子，是否有什么内在的错误？查理，我们得到了一件好事，你为什么要搞砸了？看着你。 All grown up and back living with Mom.=> 都长大了，回来跟妈妈住在一起。 How good do you feel about yourself right now? On a scale of one to two.=> 你现在对自己有多好？在一到两个的范围内。 I'm not back living with Mom.=> 我不回到妈妈身边。 I'm simply staying here till Judith and I work things out.=> 我只是呆在这里，直到朱迪思和我解决问题。 So, one? What do you want, Charlie? I figured you've been here a couple of weeks, you got to have blood in your stool by now.=> 那么，一个？查理，你想要什么？我想你已经来了几个星期了，到现在你的凳子上还要有血。 So, I thought if you and Jake wanted to come back to my place for a while, - that'd be okay.=> 所以，我想如果你和杰克想回到我的地方一会儿，那会没事的。 - Wait a minute.=> - 等一下。 Are you saying you want me to come back and live with you? Well, truthfully, no.=> 你是说你要我回来和你一起生活吗？那么，如实，不。 I want Jake to come back and live with me, but I figure you're a package deal.=> 我想让杰克回来和我一起生活，但我认为你是一揽子交易。 Thanks, but we're doing just fine here with Mom.=> 谢谢，但我们在这里和妈妈一起做得很好。 Come on.=> 来吧。 We can't let Jake be exposed to her on any kind of ongoing basis.=> 我们不能让杰克在任何持续的基础上接触到她。 There's no ongoing basis.=> 没有持续的基础。 He's only here on weekends.=> 他只在周末在这里。 That's too much.=> 这太多了。 Piranhas can strip an entire cow in an hour.=> 食人鱼可以在一个小时内剥去一头牛。 Alan, we've got to get him away from her.=> 艾伦，我们必须让他离开她。 I mean, look what happened to us.=> 我的意思是，看看我们发生了什么。 And what happened to you? Hi, Mom.=> 你怎么了？嗨，妈妈 Charlie, you're a grown man.=> 查理，你是一个成年男子。 Perhaps it's time to stop blaming your mother for your own shortcomings.=> 也许是时候停止责怪你自己的缺点了。 Alan, the divan is not for sitting.=> 艾伦，沙发不是坐着的。 Charlie, get off the couch.=> 查理，下沙发。 Uncle Charlie.=> 查理叔叔 There's my good boy.=> 有我的好孩子 And what did I tell you about yelling in the house? Grandma, I'm suffocating.=> 我在房子里叫什么？奶奶我很窒息 Sound familiar? You're right, this madness must end.=> 听起来有点熟？你是对的，这个疯狂必须结束。 Here, I got you your own key.=> 在这里，我得到了你自己的钥匙。 I am not comfortable with this.=> 我对此感到不舒服。 I mean, maybe I should go wait in the car.=> 我的意思是，也许我应该在车里等着。 You're not waiting in the car.=> 你不是在车里等。 Trust me, this is a great way to meet women.=> 相信我，这是与女人见面的好方法。 I don't want to meet women.=> 我不想见女人 I'm still married.=> 我还是结婚了 Come on, your wife's out meeting chicks, why shouldn't you? Your son is just adorable.=> 来吧，你妻子出去见面的小鸡，为什么不呢？你的儿子只是可爱的。 - Thank you.=> - 谢谢。 - You and your life partner must be so proud.=>
- 你和你的生活伙伴必须如此自豪。 You're right.=> 你是对的。 Go wait in the car.=> 去车里等。 English
=> 英语