求一个简单的英语冷笑话要一个有中文翻译,有语法讲解且简单的英语冷笑话
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多给你几个吧!反正都是抄的!希望你能开心!He Won Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself. Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen? Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won. 他赢了 汤姆：约翰尼,你小弟弟好吗? 约翰尼：他害病卧床了.他受了伤. 汤姆：真糟糕,怎么回事儿? 约翰尼：我们做游戏,看谁能把身子探出窗外最远,他赢了. I Have His Ear in My Pocket Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?" "A kid bit me," replied Ivan. "Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother. "I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket." 他的耳朵在我衣兜里 伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里.他妈妈问,“发生了什么事?” “一个男孩咬了我一口,”伊凡说. “再见到他你能认出来吗?”妈妈问. “他走到哪里我都能认出他,”伊凡说.“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢.” A Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?" "She is the one who sells the candy." 好孩子 小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱. “昨天给你的钱干什么了?” “我给了一个可怜的老太婆,”他回答说. “你真是个好孩子,”妈妈骄傲地说.“再给你两分钱.可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?” “她是个卖糖果的.” Drunk One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk." "But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!" 醉酒 一天,父亲与小儿子一道回家.这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄,老是有提不完的问题.他向父亲发问道：“爸爸,‘醉’字是什么意思?” “唔,孩子,”父亲回答说,“你瞧那儿站着两个警察.如果我把他们看成了四个,那么我就算醉了.” “可是,爸爸, ”孩子说,“那儿只有一个警察呀!” Hospitality The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy. 好客 由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时,家里没有奶酪了,于是女主人向大家表示歉意.这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子.过了一会儿,他拿着一片奶酪回到房间,把奶酪放在客人的盘子里. 客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子,你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好.你在哪里找到的奶酪?” “在捕鼠夹上,先生.”那小男孩说.
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万圣节经典英语冷笑话
　　The Climate of New Zealand　　Teacher: Matthew, what is the climate of New Zealand?　　Matthew: Very Cold, sir.　　Teacher: Wrong.　　Matthew: But, sir! When they send us meat it always arrives frozen!　　新西兰的气候　　老师：马修，新西兰的气候怎么样?　　马修：先生，那里的天气很冷。　　老师：错了。　　马修：可是，先生!从那儿运来的猪肉都冻得硬邦邦的。　　My Sister's Fingers　　Teacher: Kevin, why are you late this time?　　Kevin: Please sir, I bruised two fingers knocking in a nail at home.　　Teacher: I don't see any bandages.　　Kevin: Oh, they weren't my fingers! I told my little sister to hold the nail.　　我妹妹的手指头　　老师：凯温，这次你怎么又迟到了?　　凯温：对不起，老师，我在家钉钉子，砸坏了两个手指头。　　老师：怎么没有扎绷带呀?　　凯温：噢，砸的不是我的手指头，我叫小妹妹扶着钉子的。　　All Except the Music　　A keen young teacher wanted to introduce her class to the glories of classical music, so she arranged an outing to an afternoon concert. To make the occasion even more memorable, she treated everyone to lemonade, cake, chocs and ices. Just as the party was getting back into their coach, she said to little Sally, &Have you enjoyed yourself today?&　　&Oh, yes, miss!& said Sally, &It was lovely. All except the music, that is.&　　除了音乐　　一位热心的年轻教师想让她的学生多了解一点优秀的古典音乐，就安排了一天下午去听音乐会。为了使这次活动能给大家留下更深的印象，她请大家喝柠檬汽水、吃点心、巧克力和冰淇淋。在大家回来上汽车的时候，她问小萨莉：&你今天玩得好吗?&　　&噢，好极了，小姐，& 萨莉说，&除了音乐其它都很好。&　　The plural Form of &Child&　　Teacher: What is the plural of man, Tom?　　Tom: Men.　　Teacher: Good. And the plural of child?　　Tom: Twins.　　&孩子&的复数形式　　老师：汤姆，&男人&这个词的复数形式是什么?　　汤姆：男人们。
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原来英语中的冷笑话真的是real冷
　　1、 a piece of cake
　　小菜一碟
　　2、don't have a cow
　　别大惊小怪
　　3、keep one's shirt on
　　保持冷静
　　4、put one's foot in one's mouth
　　祸从口出
　　5、a social butterfly
　　善于交际的人
　　就像我们中国的俚语一样，字面上翻译出来是一个意思，可还有其他的更加深层次的意思。热身完之后，我们看几个funny jokes.深刻的体会一下英语的表，看笑话的同时快乐的学习英语，really master the language.
　　1、 Why didn't the shark swallow the clownfish?
　　swallow：吞下，咽下
　　为什么这个鲨鱼不吞下这个小丑鱼?
　　Because it tasted funny.
　　为了理解这个俚语的意思，我们需要理解&funny&的这个单词的另外一个意思。
　　a、&clownfish&，在英语发音中，要读&clown&需要张大嘴，这样读起来的嘴型就像在hahahaha，somebody who makes people laugh.所以funny的第一个意思，就是哈哈哈这个funny.
　　b、funny的第二个意思就是奇怪的、不正式的。当我们说Food can taste funny. 就好比你在饭店吃饭，想尝试一款新事物，但是味道真的很..难吃..，或者你吃不习惯，都可以说 taste funny或者taste weird.
　　所以说到这你应该明白为什么鲨鱼不吃小丑鱼了!因为难吃呗~
　　2、Why was six afraid of seven?
　　为什么6害怕7?
　　Because seven eight nine!
　　这是为什么，因为数字8(eight)的发音和吃的过去式ate的发音一样，seven eight nine的发音就是和seven ate nine的发音一样。7吃了9，6挨着7那么近而且6又和9长的差不多，所以，6害怕7...... so 冷。
　　3、Why didn&t the skeleton go to the party?
　　为什么骨骼不去趴体?
　　Because he had no body to go with.
　　那么我么该怎么理解这个笑话。关键词是&no body&。本来骨架嘛，没有皮肤没有肉的，但是这个想表达的是no body 读起来像nobody。所以可以这样回答：no one to go with. 这样大家可不可以懂了?
　　4、Why did the teacher wear sunglasses to class?
　　为什么老师要带着太阳镜去上课?
　　Because her students were so bright!
　　什么逻辑呢?这个就要理解&bright&。因为bright不仅有&明亮的&意思，还有聪明的，有天赋的之意。 所以描述一个人聪明。也可以说She/He is very bright.
　　现在大家懂了吧，为什么老师上课要戴太阳镜，因为她的学生聪明放光彩!
　　5、Why did the pregnant lady start yelling &I&m! Didn&t! Can&t!&
　　为什么孕妇一开始要大喊&我做不到!我不做!&
　　Because she was having contractions.
　　首先我们先来学一下，什么是&contraction&?
　　contraction有孕妇分娩的疼痛之意。所以contraction来临，经常要和hurt、uncomfortable等词连用。
　　可是，contraction还有一个意思就是缩写!就比如 I'm is the contraction of &I am&,这也就是为什么产妇要说&i'm&&didn't&。因为她又缩写...这个笑话也是real 冷。