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Question: Comparison and Contract: PlacesWhere People Live and Work. Compare and contrast attitudes towards studentsworking part-time in your country and in the USA. Use specific examples andprovide appropriate evidence to explain your answer.Chinaand American are on the two sides of the earth which cause they have oppositehistory origin, cultures, and education modes. So they have different opinionsabout part-time job. Students’ attitudes always be influenced by their parents,school and social. The three factors are the main areas being compared in thedifferent attitudes towards students working part-time in China and America. Parents’ opinions have big effect ontheir children’ attitudes of part-time jobs not only in China but also in the USA. In China, it is a family virtue thatstudents are supposed to be filial with parents’ instruction. What do Chineseparents want to give their children most? The answer is good education (Parents Want Most to Give Their ChildrenBest Education, Survey 2007). Also due to one-child policy in china, almostall the families have only one child, which lead to spoil their child excessivelyand little emperor phenomenon. Many Chinese parents don’t allow their child todo part-time jobs. The only thing their child should do is study well (China’s One-Child Policy: Curse of the ‘LittleEmperors’ 2013). One extreme example is Du huasheng, whoadmitted to Qinghua University by high grade,but he doesn’t have any independence living skills no matter part-time job. Inthe end he was ordered to quit university (Mathgenius: admitted to Qinghua taking lessons of living skills, 2005).However, at the other end of the earth America, children rely less ontheir parents. Their parents teach them independent living skills, andencourage them to do part-time jobs. Part-time job not only help children inearning money, it also give them much experience that are necessary for theirfuture career. Due to differences between Chineseand American Education system, students’ part-time job are limited by school. Studentsin Chinahave heavy work before go to university. The most important thing they can dois get a great grades in exam, especially in Gaokao. Gaokao gives Chinesestudents high pressure and less time to do other things, such as part-time job (Do Children Still Have HeavySchoolbags? 2013). On average the time students in China spend on schoolwork each dayis 11.7 hours for high school students, 9.67 hours for middle school students,8.46 hours for technical school students, and 6.98 hours for primary school students(Chinese students study more than anyother in the world 2013). However, in America students only study about3.5 hours each day (Your Day in a Chart:10 Cool Facts About How Americans Spend Our Time 2012). The data shows thatChinese students have to spend more time in school than American students. Sothey have less time or no time to do part-time job. The last but not least is the social. Americansociety places such a strong emphasis on adolescent autonomy that teenagersrarely spend time with their families. Instead, adolescents spend the majorityof their hours socializing with peers, working in part-time jobs for personal spendingmoney, and participating in extracurricular activities (Attitudes toward Family Obligations among American Adolescents with Asian,Latin American, and European Backgrounds, 1999). Nevertheless, manycompanies in Chinadon’t want to employ students, especially temporary workers. In China many restaurantswrite clearly that they don’t need summer workers.&&In a word, parents, school and social are threemain factors that affect different attitudes between Chinese and Americanstudents. Different environments and people surrounding cause differentthoughts. Chinese student prefer to study more and get good grade in exam. ButAmerican students want get more exercise and gather experience. That is why 74.4percent of high school students in the United States have part-time jobs,ranking the highest among the four countries. In Chinathe proportion is relatively low only 4.8 percent (China's high school students do leastpart-time work 2008).
Reference Do Children Still Have Heavy Schoolbags? (2013), China [online] Available at:[Accessed 22 September 2013]
Parents Want Most to Give Their Children BestEducation, Survey (2007), China [online]Available at:
Do Children Still Have HeavySchoolbags? (2013), time [online]Available at:[Accessed 22 September 2013]
Math genius: admitted to Qinghua taking lessons ofliving skills (2005), Sina News [online]Available at:[Accessed 22 September 2013]
Attitudestoward Family Obligations among American Adolescents with Asian, LatinAmerican, and European Backgrounds (1999), Andrew J. Fuligni, Vivian Tseng, and MayLam [online] Available at:[Accessed 22 September 2013]
Chinese students study more than any other in theworld (2013), Xianrong Zhang[online] Available at:[Accessed 22 September 2013]
Your Day in a Chart: 10 Cool Facts About How AmericansSpend Our Time (2012), Derek Thompson [online]Available at:& && & [Accessed 22 September 2013]
China's high school students do least part-time work (2008), Peopledaily[online] Available at:[Accessed 22 September 2013]
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chinese and American are on the two sides of the earth ,which causethem tohave oppositehistory origin, cultures, and education modes. So they have different opinionsabout part-time job. Students’ attitudes always be influenced by their parents,school and society. The three factors are the main areas being compared in thedifferent attitudes towards students working part-time in China and America. (I embrace the view that you have made a bid grammatical mistake in this sentence)Parents’ opinions have big effects ontheir children’ attitudes of part-time jobs not only in China but also in the USA. In China, it is a family virtue thatstudents are supposed to be filial with parents’ instruction. What do Chineseparents want to give their children most?(change into a basic structural sentence) The answer is good education (Parents Want Most to Give Their ChildrenBest Education, Survey 2007)delete. Also due to one-child policy in china, almostall the families have only one child, which lead to spoil their child excessivelyand little emperor phenomenon. Many Chinese parents don’t allow their child todo part-time jobs. The only thing their child should do is study well (China’s One-Child Policy: Curse of the ‘LittleEmperors’ 2013)delete. One extreme example is Du huasheng(better change into an foreigner), who has been admitted to Qinghua Universiy when he was in high school ,but he doesn’t have any independence living skills no matter part-time job. Inthe end he was ordered to quit （改词）university (Mathgenius: admitted to Qinghua taking lessons of living skills, 2005).删However, at the other end of the earth America, children rely less ontheir parents. Their parents teach them independent living skills, andencourage them to do part-time jobs. Part-time job not only help children inearning money, it also give them much experience that are necessary for theirfuture career. Due to differences between Chineseand American Education systems, students’ part-time job are limited at school. Studentsin Chinahave heavy workto do before going to university. The most important? thing they can dois getting good grades in exam, especially in Gaokao. Gaokao gives Chinesestudents high pressure and less time to do other things, such as part-time job (Do Children Still Have HeavySchoolbags? 2013). On average， the time students in China spend on schoolwork each dayis 11.7 hours for high school students, 9.67 hours for middle school students,8.46 hours for technical school students, and 6.98 hours for primary school students(Chinese students study more than anyother in the world 2013). However, in America students only study about3.5 hours each day (Your Day in a Chart:10 Cool Facts About How Americans Spend Our Time 2012). The data shows thatChinese students have to spend more time in school than American students. Sothey have less time or no time to do part-time job. The last but not least is the social. Americansociety places such a strong emphasis on adolescent autonomy that teenagersrarely spend time with their families. Instead, adolescents spend the majorityof their hours socializing with peers, working in part-time jobs for personal spendingmoney, and participating in extracurricular activities (Attitudes toward Family Obligations among American Adolescents with Asian,Latin American, and European Backgrounds, 1999). Nevertheless, manycompanies in Chinadon’t want to employ students, especially temporary workers. In China many restaurantswrite clearly that they don’t need summer workers.&&In a word, parents, school and social are threemain factors that affect different attitudes between Chinese and Americanstudents. Different environments and people surrounding cause differentthoughts. (that sentence makes me feel better)Chinese student prefer to study more and get good grade in exam. ButAmerican students want get more exercise and gather experience. That is why 74.4percent of high school students in the United States have part-time jobs,ranking the highest among the four countries. In Chinathe proportion is relatively low only 4.8 percent (China's high school students do leastpart-time work 2008).
评分：1.5对应 8分
1语法错误太多，尤其三单，而且你没用什么出众的语法，全都是基本错误。没出现什么拼写错误，不错，2还有你写的不是Essays or powerpoint不能这么引用，3我看完了也不知道你要说什么，4词汇量仍需提高， 尤其是important, however出现频率过高，5例子论证不好，6多看小说，名著有利于提高语言地道性7字数太多，看的累，还有你30分钟怎能打这么多字？
虽然你例子多但是都说的不细& && &
红题为有错误部分
我相信这是你第一次改加油
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托福考试时没机会查References汗
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要记得上Toefl培训班。。。
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abcde 发表于
chinese and American are on the two sides of the earth ,which causethem tohave oppositehistory origi ...
不好意思，这是essay，要写reference。你能具体告诉我那些不地道的句子怎么改
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没来得急看，应该不错，先帮你顶
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啊啊啊啊啊= =
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游客，如果您要查看本帖隐藏内容请
啊啊啊啊啊= =
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谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢小星星
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嘻嘻嘻嘻嘻嘻嘻嘻嘻
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