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英语幽默故事_英语阅读吧_百度贴吧
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快试试吧,可以对自己使用挽尊卡咯~◆◆
&1
Mr&Jones&had&a&few&days'&holiday,&so&he&said,&&I'm&going&to&go&to&the&mountains&by&train.&&He&put&on&his&best&clothes,&took&a&small&bag,&went&to&the&station&and&got&on&the&train.&He&had&a&beautiful&hat,&and&he&often&put&his&head&out&of&the&window&during&the&trip&and&looked&at&the&mountains.&But&the&wind&pulled&his&hat&off.
Mr&Jones&quickly&took&his&old&bag&and&threw&that&out&of&the&window&too.
The&other&people&in&the&carriage&laughed.&&Is&your&bag&going&to&bring&your&beautiful&hat&back?&&they&asked.
&No,&&Mr&Jones&answered,&&but&there's&no&name&and&no&address&in&my&hat,&and&there's&a&name&and&address&on&the&bag.&Someone's&going&to&find&both&of&them&near&each&other,&and&he's&going&to&send&me&the&bag&&and&the&hat.&
2
An&old&lady&went&out&shopping&last&Tuesday.&She&came&to&a&bank&and&saw&a&car&near&the&door.&A&man&got&out&of&it&and&went&into&the&bank.&She&looked&into&the&car.&The&keys&were&in&the&lock.
The&old&lady&took&the&keys&and&followed&the&man&into&the&bank.
The&man&took&a&gun&out&of&his&pocket&and&said&to&the&clerk,&&Give&me&all&the&money.&
But&the&old&lady&did&not&see&this.&She&went&to&the&man,&put&the&keys&in&his&hand&and&said,&&Young&man,&you're&stupid!&Never&leave&your&keys&in&your&car:&someone's&going&to&steal&it!&
The&man&looked&at&the&old&woman&for&a&few&seconds.&Then&he&looked&at&the&clerk—and&then&he&took&his&keys,&ran&out&of&the&bank,&got&into&his&car&and&drove&away&quickly,&without&any&money.
3
Mary&was&an&English&girl,&but&she&lived&in&Rome.&She&was&six&years&old.&Last&year&her&mother&said&to&her,&&You're&six&years&old&now,&Mary,&and&you're&going&to&begin&going&to&a&school&here.&You're&going&to&like&it&very&much,&because&it's&a&nice&school.&
&Is&it&an&English&school?&&Mary&asked.
&Yes,&it&is,&&her&mother&said.&
Mary&went&to&the&school,&and&enjoyed&her&lessons.&Her&mother&always&took&her&to&school&in&the&morning&and&brought&her&home&in&the&afternoon.&Last&Monday&her&mother&went&to&the&school&at&4&o'clock,&and&Mary&ran&out&of&her&class.
&We've&got&a&new&girl&in&our&class&today,&Mummy,&&she&said.&&She's&six&years&old&too,&and&she's&very&nice,&but&she&isn't&English.&She's&German.&
&Does&she&speak&English?&&Mary's&mother&asked.
&No,&but&she&laughs&in&English,&&Mary&said&happily.
4
Mrs&Jones&did&not&have&a&husband,&but&she&had&two&sons.&They&were&big,&strong&boys,&but&they&were&lazy.&On&Saturdays&they&did&not&go&to&school,&and&then&their&mother&always&said,&&Please&cut&the&grass&in&the&garden&this&afternoon,&boys.&&The&boys&did&not&like&it,&but&they&always&did&it.
Then&somebody&gave&one&of&the&boys&a&magazine,&and&they&saw&a&picture&of&a&beautiful&lawn-mower&in&it.&There&was&a&seat&on&it,&and&there&was&a&woman&on&the&seat.
The&boy&took&the&picture&to&his&mother&and&brother&and&said&to&them,&&Look,&that&woman's&sitting&on&the&lawn-mower&and&driving&it&and&cutting&the&grass.&We&want&one&of&those.&
&One&of&those&lawn-mowers?&&his&mother&asked.
&No,&&the&boy&said.&&We&want&one&of&those&women.&Then&she&can&cut&grass&every&week.&
5
One&of&Harry's&feet&was&bigger&and&the&other.&&I&can&never&find&boots&and&shoes&for&my&feet,&&&he&said&to&his&friend&Dick.
阅读 英语_昂立外语培训30年,原创讲义,小班教学,更可免费试听+学前测试!免费预约试听,开放课堂,先试听后上课!
快试试吧,可以对自己使用挽尊卡咯~◆◆
&Why&don't&you&go&to&a&shoemaker?&&Dick&said.&&A&good&one&can&make&you&the&right&shoes.&
&I've&never&been&to&a&shoemaker,&&Harry&said.&&Aren't&they&very&expensive?&
&No,&&Dick&said,&&&some&of&them&aren't.&There's&a&good&one&in&our&village,&and&he's&quite&cheap.&Here's&his&address.&&He&wrote&something&on&a&piece&of&paper&and&gave&it&to&Harry.
Harry&went&to&the&shoemaker&in&Dick's&village&a&few&days&later,&and&the&shoemaker&made&him&some&shoes.
Harry&went&to&the&shop&again&a&week&later&and&looked&at&the&shoes.&Then&he&said&to&the&shoemaker&angrily,&&You're&a&silly&man!&I&said,&'Make&one&shoe&&bigger&than&the&other,'&but&you've&made&one&&smaller&than&the&other!&
6
Joe&Richard&finished&school&when&he&was&18,&and&then&his&father&said&to&him,&&You've&passed&your&examinations&now,&Joe,&and&you&got&good&marks&in&them.&Now&go&and&get&some&good&work.&They're&looking&for&clever&people&at&the&bank&in&the&town.&The&clerks&there&get&quite&a&lot&of&money&now.&
A&few&days&later,&Joe&went&to&the&bank&and&asked&for&work&there.&A&man&took&him&into&a&small&room&and&gave&him&some&paper,&and&then&he&gave&them&to&the&man.
The&man&looked&at&them&for&a&few&minutes,&and&then&he&took&a&pen&and&said&to&Joe,&&Your&birthday&was&on&the&12th&of&June,&Mr&Richard?&
&Yes,&sir,&&Joe&said.
&What&year?&&the&man&asked.
&Oh,&every&year,&sir,&&&Joe&said.
7
Fred&works&in&a&factory.&He&does&not&have&a&wife,&and&he&gets&quite&a&lot&of&money&every&week.&He&loves&cars,&and&has&a&new&one&every&year.&He&likes&driving&very&fast,&and&he&always&buys&small,&fast,&red&cars.&He&sometimes&takes&his&mother&out&in&them,&and&then&she&always&said,&&But,&Fred,&why&do&you&drive&these&cars?&We're&almost&sitting&on&the&road!&
Then&Fred&laughs&and&is&happy.&He&likes&being&very&near&the&road.
Fred&is&very&tall&and&very&fat.
Last&week&he&came&out&of&a&shop&and&went&to&his&car.&There&was&a&small&boy&near&it.&He&was&looking&at&the&beautiful&red&car.&Then&he&looked&up&and&saw&Fred.
&How&do&you&get&into&that&small&car?&&he&asked&him.
Fred&laughed&and&said,&&I&don't&get&into&it.&I&put&it&on.&
8
Mr&and&Mrs&Yates&had&one&daughter.&Her&name&was&Carol,&and&she&was&nineteen&years&old.&Carol&lived&with&her&parents&and&worked&in&an&office.&She&had&some&friends,&but&she&did&not&like&any&of&the&boys&very&much.
Then&she&met&a&very&nice&young&man.&His&name&was&George&Watts,&and&he&worked&in&a&bank&near&her&office.&They&went&out&together&quite&a&lot,&and&he&came&to&Carol's&parents'&house&twice,&and&then&last&week&Carol&went&to&her&father&and&said,&&I'm&going&to&marry&George&Watts,&Daddy.&He&was&here&yesterday.&
&Oh,&yes,&&her&father&said.&&He's&a&nice&boy—but&has&he&got&any&money?&
&Oh,&men!&All&of&you&are&the&same,&&the&daughter&answered&angrily.&&I&met&George&on&the&first&of&June&and&on&the&second&he&said&to&me,&'Has&your&father&got&any&money?'&
9
Miss&William&was&a&teacher,&and&there&were&thirty&small&children&in&her&class.&They&were&nice&children,&and&Miss&Williams&liked&all&of&them,&but&they&often&lost&clothes.&It&was&winter,&and&the&weather&was&very&cold.&The&children's&mothers&always&sent&them&to&school&with&warm&coats&and&hat&and&gloves.&The&children&came&into&the&classroom&in&the&morning&and&took&off&their&coats&and&hats&and&gloves.&They&put&their&coats&and&hats&on&hooks&on&the&wall,&and&they&put&their&gloves&in&the&pockets&of&their&coats.
快试试吧,可以对自己使用挽尊卡咯~◆◆
Last&Tuesday&Miss&Williams&found&two&small&blue&gloves&on&the&floor&in&the&evening,&and&in&the&morning&she&said&to&the&children,&&Whose&gloves&are&these?&,&but&no&one&answered.
Then&she&looked&at&Dick.&&Haven't&you&got&blue&gloves,&Dick?&&she&asked&him.
&Yes,&miss,&&he&answered,&&but&those&can't&be&mine.&I've&lost&mine.&
10
Whitebridge&was&a&small&village,&and&old&people&often&came&and&lived&there.&Some&of&them&had&a&lot&of&old&furniture,&and&they&often&did&not&want&some&of&it,&because&they&were&in&a&small&house&now,&so&every&Saturday&morning&they&put&it&out,&and&other&people&came&and&looked&at&it,&and&sometimes&they&took&it&away&because&they&wanted&it.
Every&Saturday,&Mr&and&Mrs&Morton&put&a&very&ugly&old&bear's&head&out&at&the&side&of&their&gate,&but&nobody&wanted&it.&Then&last&Saturday,&they&wrote,&&I'm&very&lonely&here.&Please&take&me,&&on&a&piece&of&paper&and&put&it&near&the&bear's&head.
They&went&to&the&town,&and&came&in&the&evening.&There&were&now&two&bears'&heads&in&front&of&their&house,&and&there&was&another&piece&of&paper.&It&said,&&I&was&lonely&too.&
11
Two&old&gentlemen&lived&in&a&quiet&street&in&Paris.&They&were&friends&and&neighbours,&and&they&often&went&for&walks&together&in&the&streets&when&the&weather&was&fine.&Last&Saturday&they&went&for&a&walk&at&the&side&of&the&river.&The&sun&shone,&the&weather&was&warm,&there&were&a&lot&of&flowers&everywhere,&and&there&were&boats&on&the&water.
The&two&men&walked&happily&for&an&hour,&and&then&one&of&them&said&to&the&other,&&That's&a&very&beautiful&girl.&
&Where&can&you&see&a&beautiful&girl?&&said&the&other.&&I&can't&see&one&anywhere.&I&can&see&two&young&men.&They're&walking&towards&us.&
&The&girl's&behind&us,&&said&the&first&man&quietly.
&But&how&can&you&see&her&then?&&asked&his&friend.
The&first&man&smiled&and&said,&&I&can't&see&her,&but&I&can&see&the&young&men's&eyes.&
12
Fred&was&a&young&soldier&in&a&big&camp.&During&the&week&they&always&worked&very&hard,&but&it&was&Saturday,&and&all&the&young&soldiers&were&free,&so&their&officer&said&to&them,&&You&can&go&into&the&town&this&afternoon,&but&first&I'm&going&to&inspect&you.&
Fred&came&to&the&officer,&and&the&officer&said&to&him,&&Your&hair's&very&long.&Go&to&the&barber&and&come&back&to&me&again.&
Fred&ran&to&the&barber's&shop,&but&it&was&closed&because&it&was&Saturday.&Fred&was&very&sad&for&a&few&minutes,&but&then&he&smiled&and&went&back&to&the&officer.
&Are&my&boots&clean&now,&sir?&&he&asked.
The&officer&did&not&look&at&Fred's&hair.&He&looked&at&his&boots&and&said,&&Yes,&they're&much&better&now.&You&can&go&out.&And&next&week,&first&clean&your&boots,&and&then&come&to&me.&
13
Mrs&Harris&lives&in&a&small&village.&Her&husband&is&dead,&but&she&has&one&son.&He&is&twenty-one&and&his&name&is&Geoff.&He&worked&in&the&shop&in&the&village&and&lived&with&his&mother,&but&then&he&got&work&in&a&town&and&went&and&lived&there.&Its&name&was&Greensea.&It&was&quite&a&long&way&from&his&mother's&village,&and&she&was&not&happy&about&this,&but&Geoff&said,&&There&isn't&any&good&work&for&me&in&the&country,&Mother,&and&I&can&get&a&lot&of&money&in&Greensea&and&send&you&some&every&week.&
快试试吧,可以对自己使用挽尊卡咯~◆◆
Mrs&Harris&was&very&angry&last&Sunday.&She&got&in&a&train&and&went&to&her&son's&house&in&Greensea.&Then&she&said&to&him,&&Geoff,&why&do&you&never&phone&me?&
Geoff&laughed.&&But,&Mother,&&he&said,&&you&haven't&got&a&phone.&
&No,&&she&answered,&&I&haven't,&but&&you've&got&one!&
14
Mr&Robinson&never&went&to&a&dentist,&because&he&was&afraid,&but&then&his&teeth&began&hurting&a&lot&and&he&went&to&a&dentist.&The&dentist&did&a&lot&of&work&in&his&mouth&for&a&long&time.&On&the&last&day&Mr&Robinson&said&to&him,&&How&much&is&all&this&work&going&to&cost?&&The&dentist&said,&&Twenty-five&pounds,&&but&he&did&not&ask&him&for&the&money.
After&a&month&Mr&Robinson&phoned&the&dentist&and&said,&&You&haven't&asked&me&for&money&for&your&work&last&month.&
&Oh,&&the&dentist&answered.&&I&never&ask&a&gentleman&for&money.&
&Then&how&do&you&live?&&Mr&Robinson&asked.
&Most&gentlemen&pay&me&quickly,&&the&dentist&said,&&but&some&don't.&I&wait&for&my&money&for&two&months,&and&then&I&say,&'That&man&isn't&a&gentleman.'&and&then&I&ask&him&for&my&money.&
15
Bill&likes&football&very&much,&and&he&often&goes&to&matches&in&our&town&on&Saturdays.&He&does&not&go&to&the&best&seats,&because&they&are&very&expensive&and&he&does&not&see&his&friends&there.
There&was&a&big&football&match&in&our&town&last&Saturday.&First&it&was&very&cold&and&cloudy,&but&then&the&sun&shone,&and&it&was&very&hot.
There&were&a&lot&of&people&on&benches&round&Bill&at&the&match.&Bill&was&on&one&bench,&and&there&was&a&fat&man&on&a&bench&behind&him.&First&the&fat&man&was&cold,&but&then&he&was&very&hot.&He&took&his&coat&off&and&put&it&in&front&of&him,&but&it&fell&on&Bill's&heard.&Bill&was&not&angry.&He&took&the&coat&off&his&head,&looked&at&it&and&then&smiled&and&said,&&Thank&you—but&where&are&the&trousers?&
16
Peter&was&eight&and&a&half&years&old,&and&he&went&to&a&school&near&his&house.&He&always&went&there&and&came&home&on&foot,&and&he&usually&got&back&on&time,&but&last&Friday&he&came&home&from&school&late.&His&mother&was&in&the&kitchen,&and&she&saw&him&and&said&to&him,&&Why&are&you&late&today,&Peter?&
&My&teacher&was&angry&and&sent&me&to&the&headmaster&after&our&lessons,&&Peter&answered.
&To&the&headmaster?&&his&mother&said.&&Why&did&she&sent&you&to&him?&
&Because&she&asked&a&question&in&the&class,&&Peter&said,&&and&none&of&the&children&gave&her&the&answer&except&me.&
His&mother&was&angry.&&But&why&did&the&teacher&send&&you&to&the&headmaster&then?&Why&didn't&she&send&all&the&other&stupid&children?&&she&asked&Peter.
&Because&her&question&was,&'Who&put&the&glue&on&my&chair?'&&Peter&said.
17
George&was&sixty&years&old,&and&he&was&ill.&He&was&always&tired,&and&his&face&was&always&red.&He&did&not&like&doctors,&but&last&month&his&wife&said&to&him,&&Don't&be&stupid,&George.&Go&and&see&Doctor&Brown.&
George&said,&&No,&&but&last&week&he&was&worse,&and&he&went&to&the&doctor.
Dr&Brown&examined&him&and&then&said&to&him,&&You&drink&too&much.&Stop&drinking&whisky,&and&drink&milk.&
George&liked&whisky,&and&he&did&not&like&milk.&&I'm&not&a&baby!&&he&always&said&to&his&wife.
Now&he&looked&at&Dr&Brown&and&said,&&But&drinking&milk&is&dangerous,&doctor.&
快试试吧,可以对自己使用挽尊卡咯~◆◆
The&doctor&laughed&and&said,&&Dangerous?&How&can&drinking&milk&be&dangerous?&
&Well,&doctor,&&George&said,&&it&killed&one&of&my&best&friends&last&year.&
The&doctor&laughed&again&and&said,&&How&did&it&do&that?&
&The&cow&fell&on&him,&&George&said.
18
Mr&White&has&a&small&shop&in&the&middle&of&our&town,&and&he&sells&pictures&in&it.&They&are&not&expensive&ones,&but&some&of&them&are&quite&pretty.&Last&Saturday&a&woman&came&into&the&shop&and&looked&at&a&lot&of&pictures.&Then&she&took&Mr&White&to&one&of&them&and&said,&&How&much&do&you&want&for&this&one?&&It&was&a&picture&of&horses&in&a&field.
Mr&White&looked&at&it&for&a&few&seconds&and&then&went&and&brought&his&book.&He&opened&it,&looked&at&the&first&page&and&then&said,&&I&want&twenty&pounds&for&that&one.&
The&woman&shut&her&eyes&for&a&few&seconds&and&then&said,&&I&can&give&you&two&pounds&for&it.&
&Two&pounds?&&Mr&White&said&angrily.&&Two&pounds?&But&the&canvas&cost&more&than&two&pounds.&
&Oh,&but&it&was&clean&then,&&the&woman&said.
19
Miss&Green&had&a&heavy&cupboard&in&her&bedroom.&Last&Sunday&she&said,&&I&don't&like&this&cupboard&in&my&bedroom.&The&bedroom's&very&small,&and&the&cupboard's&very&big.&I'm&going&to&put&it&in&a&bigger&room.&&But&the&cupboard&was&very&heavy,&and&Miss&Green&was&not&very&strong.&She&went&to&two&of&her&neighbours&and&said,&&Please&carry&the&cupboard&for&me.&&Then&she&went&and&made&some&tea&for&them.
The&two&men&carried&the&heavy&cupboard&out&of&Miss&Green's&bedroom&and&came&to&the&stairs.&One&of&them&was&in&front&of&the&cupboard,&and&the&other&was&behind&it.&They&pushed&and&pulled&for&a&long&time,&and&then&they&put&the&cupboard&down.
&Well,&&one&of&the&men&said&to&the&other,&&we're&never&going&to&get&this&cupboard&upstairs.&
&Upstairs?&&the&other&man&said.&&Aren't&we&taking&it&downstairs?&
20
Mr&Edwards&liked&singing&very&much,&but&he&is&very&bad&at&it.&He&went&to&dinner&at&a&friend's&house&last&week,&and&there&were&some&other&guests&there&too.
They&had&a&good&dinner,&and&then&the&hostess&went&to&Mr&Edwards&and&said,&&You&can&sing,&Peter.&Please&sing&us&something.&
Mr&Edwards&was&very&happy,&and&he&began&to&sing&an&old&song&about&the&mountains&of&Spain.&The&guests&listened&to&it&for&a&few&minutes&and&then&one&of&the&guests&began&to&cry.&She&was&a&small&woman&and&had&dark&hair&and&very&dark&eyes.
One&of&the&other&guests&went&to&her,&put&his&hand&on&her&back&and&said,&&Please&don't&cry.&Are&you&Spanish?&
Another&young&man&asked,&&Do&you&love&Spain?&
&No,&&she&answered,&&I'm&not&Spanish,&and&I've&never&been&to&Spain.&I'm&a&singer,&and&I&love&music.&
21
Hans&said&to&his&friend&Kurt,&&I'm&going&to&take&my&car&and&drive&to&London.&
Kurt&said,&&Driving&to&London&is&very&difficult.&You&aren't&going&to&find&your&hotel.&
But&Hans&was&not&afraid.&He&drove&to&Calais,&put&his&car&on&the&ship,&took&it&off&at&Dover,&and&drove&to&London.
He&stopped&near&the&city&and&looked&at&his&map.&Then&he&drove&into&London,&but&he&did&not&find&his&hotel.&He&drove&round&and&round&for&an&hour,&and&then&he&stopped&and&got&out&of&his&car.&A&taxi&came,&and&Hans&stopped&it.&&Take&me&to&the&Brussels&Hotel,&&he&said.&But&he&did&not&get&into&the&taxi:&he&got&back&into&his&car.&The&Taxi&man&laughed,&but&then&he&drove&to&the&Brussels&Hotel,&and&Hans&followed&him&in&his&car.&They&reached&the&hotel&in&two&minutes.
快试试吧,可以对自己使用挽尊卡咯~◆◆
22
George&is&a&young&man.&He&does&not&have&a&wife,&but&he&has&a&very&big&dog—and&he&has&a&very&small&car&too.&He&likes&playing&tennis.&Last&Monday&he&played&tennis&for&an&hour&at&his&club,&and&then&he&ran&out&and&jumped&into&a&car.&His&dog&came&after&him,&but&it&did&not&jumped&into&the&same&&it&jumped&into&the&next&one.
&Come&here,&silly&dog!&&George&shouted&at&it&but&the&dog&stayed&in&the&other&car.
George&put&his&key&into&the&lock&of&the&car,&but&the&key&did&not&turn.&Then&he&looked&at&the&car&again.&It&was&not&his!&He&was&in&the&wrong&car!&And&the&dog&was&in&the&right&one!&&He's&sitting&and&laughing&at&me!&&George&said&angrily.&But&then&he&smiled&and&got&into&his&car&with&the&dog.
23
Fred&Williams&worked&in&a&factory&with&a&lot&of&other&men.&They&talked&and&laughed&a&lot,&and&at&lunch&time&they&sat&together&and&read&newspapers&and&laughed&about&the&pictures&in&them.
Then&Fred&married.&His&wife,&Betty,&was&very&nice,&but&she&liked&better&newspapers&than&Fred.&Every&day&a&boy&brought&Fred's&newspaper&and&Betty's&newspaper&to&the&house,&and&Fred&took&his&to&the&factory&and&left&Betty's&in&the&hall.&Once&or&twice&he&looked&at&hers,&but&he&did&not&like&it,&and&sometimes&in&the&evening&he&said&to&Betty,&&Why&do&you&read&that&paper?&I&hate&it.&
But&last&Monday&Fred&said&to&his&wife,&&There&was&something&very&nice&in&that&newspaper&yesterday.&
Betty&was&happy.&&Oh!&&she&said,&&that's&good,&Fred.&What&was&that?&
Fred&laughed&and&said,&&My&friend&Bill's&lunch.&He&brought&it&to&work&in&the&newspaper.&
24
Mr&and&Mrs&Jones&very&seldom&go&out&in&the&evening,&but&last&Saturday,&Mrs&Jones&said&to&her&husband,&&There's&a&good&film&at&the&cinema&tonight.&Can&we&go&and&see&it?&
Mr&Jones&was&quite&happy&about&it,&so&they&went,&and&both&of&them&enjoyed&the&film.
They&came&out&of&the&cinema&at&11o'clock,&got&into&their&car&and&began&driving&home.&It&was&quite&dark.&Then&Mrs&Jones&said,&&Look,&Bill.&A&woman's&running&along&the&road&very&fast,&and&a&man's&running&after&her.&Can&you&see&them?&
Mr&Jones&said,&&Yes,&I&can.&&He&drove&the&car&slowly&near&the&woman&and&said&to&her,&&Can&we&help&you?&
&No,&thank&you,&&the&woman&said,&but&she&did&not&stop&running.&&My&husband&and&I&always&run&home&after&the&cinema,&and&the&last&one&washes&the&dishes&at&home!&
25
There&were&a&lot&of&men's&clubs&in&London&a&few&years&ago.&Men&went&there&and&read&their&newspapers&quietly,&or&drink&or&had&meals&with&their&friends.
All&of&these&men's&clubs&had&a&lot&of&very&good&servants.&At&every&club&one&of&the&servants&was&a&doorman.&Mr&Grace&was&the&doorman&of&one&of&these&clubs.&He&was&fifty-five&years&old,&and&he&had&grey&hair&and&a&big&grey&moustache.&The&telephone&rang&in&his&office&at&six&o'clock&in&the&evening,&and&a&woman&spoke&to&him.&She&said,&&Are&you&the&doorman&of&the&George&Club?&
&Yes,&I&am,&&Mr&Grace&answered.
&Please&give&my&husband&a&message,&&the&woman&said.
&Your&husband&isn't&at&the&club&this&evening,&&Mr&Grace&answered.
&But&I&haven't&told&you&his&name!&&the&woman&said&angrily.
&That&isn't&necessary,&&Mr&Grey&answered.&&No&husband&is&ever&at&the&club.&
快试试吧,可以对自己使用挽尊卡咯~◆◆
26
Jimmy&lives&in&London&and&he&began&swimming&a&few&months&ago.&He&liked&swimming,&and&he&often&goes&to&the&swimming-pool&near&his&house&with&his&mother&and&swims&there&for&an&hour&or&two.
He&was&six&years&old&last&week,&and&his&mother&said,&&You&swim&quite&well&now,&Jimmy,&but&you've&never&seen&the&sea,&have&you?&Your&father&and&I&are&going&to&take&you&there&on&Sunday,&and&you're&going&to&swim&in&the&sea.&It&isn't&cold&now,&and&it's&much&nicer&than&a&swimming-pool.&
Jimmy's&father&and&mother&took&him&to&the&sea&in&their&car&on&Sunday,&and&they&stopped&at&the&side&of&a&small&harbour.&Jimmy&got&out&and&looked&at&the&sea&for&a&long&time,&but&he&was&not&very&happy.&Then&he&said&to&his&mother,&&Which&is&the&shallow&end?&
27
Mrs&Green&was&eighty,&but&she&had&a&small&car,&and&she&always&drove&to&the&shops&in&it&on&Saturday&and&bought&her&food.
She&did&not&drive&fast,&because&she&was&old,&but&she&drove&well&and&never&hit&anything.&Sometimes&her&grandchildren&said&to&her,&&Please&don't&drive&your&car,&Grandmother.&We&can&take&you&to&the&shops.&
But&she&always&said,&&No,&I&like&driving.&I've&driven&for&fifty&years,&and&I'm&not&going&to&stop&now.&
Last&Saturday&she&stopped&her&car&at&some&traffic-lights&because&they&were&red,&and&then&it&did&not&start&again.&The&lights&were&green,&then&it&did&not&start&again.&The&lights&were&green,&then&yellow,&then&red,&then&green&again,&but&her&car&did&not&start.
&What&am&I&going&to&do&now?&&she&said.
But&then&a&policeman&came&and&said&to&her&kindly,&&Good&morning.&Don't&you&like&any&of&our&colours&today?&
28
Dave&worked&in&a&factory,&and&he&always&made&sandwiches&in&the&morning,&took&them&to&work&and&ate&them&at&midday.
Then&he&married,&so&he&thought,&&Now&my&wife's&going&to&make&my&sandwiches.&
On&the&first&day,&she&made&him&some,&and&when&he&got&home&in&the&evening,&she&said&to&him,&&Were&the&sandwiches&all&right?&
&Oh,&yes,&&he&answered,&&but&you&only&gave&me&two&slices&of&bread.&
The&next&day&she&gave&him&four&slices,&but&he&said&again,&&Four&slices&aren't&enough.&
The&third&day&she&gave&him&eight&slices,&but&those&were&not&enough&for&him&either,&so&on&the&fourth&day&she&took&a&loaf&of&bread,&cut&it&in&half&and&put&a&big&piece&of&meat&in&it.
In&the&evening&she&said&to&him,&&Was&your&lunch&nice?&
&Oh,&yes,&&he&answered.&&But&two&slices&of&bread&aren't&enough.&
29
Harry&did&not&stop&his&car&at&some&traffic-lights&when&they&were&red,&and&he&hit&another&car.&Harry&jumped&out&and&went&to&it.&There&was&an&old&man&in&the&car.&He&was&very&frightened&and&said&to&Harry,&&What&are&you&doing?&You&nearly&killed&me!&
&Yes,&&Harry&answered,&&I'm&very&sorry.&&He&took&a&bottle&out&of&his&car&and&said,&&Drink&some&of&this.&Then&you'll&feel&better.&&He&gave&the&man&some&whisky,&and&the&man&drank&it,&but&then&he&shouted&again,&&You&nearly&killed&me!&
Harry&gave&him&the&bottle&again,&and&the&old&man&drank&a&lot&of&the&whisky.&Then&he&smiled&and&said&to&Harry,&&Thank&you.&I&feel&much&better&now.&But&why&aren't&you&drinking?&
&Oh,&well,&&Harry&answered,&&I&don't&want&any&whisky.&I'm&going&to&sit&here&and&wait&for&the&police.&
快试试吧,可以对自己使用挽尊卡咯~◆◆
30
John&lived&with&his&mother&in&a&rather&big&house,&and&when&she&died,&the&house&became&too&big&for&him&so&he&bought&a&smaller&one&in&the&next&street.&There&was&a&very&nice&old&clock&in&his&first&house,&and&when&the&men&came&to&take&his&furniture&to&the&new&house,&John&thought,&&I'm&not&going&to&let&them&carry&my&beautiful&old&clock&in&their&truck.&Perhaps&they'll&break&it,&and&then&mending&it&will&be&very&expensive.&&So&he&picked&it&up&and&began&to&carry&it&down&the&road&in&his&arms.
It&was&heavy,&so&he&stopped&two&or&three&times&to&have&a&rest.
Then&suddenly&a&small&boy&came&along&the&road.&He&stopped&and&looked&at&John&for&a&few&seconds.&Then&he&said&to&John,&&You're&a&stupid&man,&aren't&you?&Why&don't&buy&a&watch&like&everybody&else?&
31
Two&soldiers&were&in&camp.&The&first&one's&name&was&George,&and&the&second&one's&name&was&Bill.&George&said,&&Have&you&got&a&piece&of&paper&and&an&envelope,&Bill?&
Bill&said,&&Yes,&I&have,&&and&he&gave&them&to&him.
Then&George&said,&&Now&I&haven't&got&a&pen.&&Bill&gave&him&his,&and&George&wrote&his&letter.&Then&he&put&it&in&the&envelope&and&said,&&Have&you&got&a&stamp,&Bill?&&Bill&gave&him&one.
Then&Bill&got&up&and&went&to&the&door,&so&George&said&to&him,&&Are&you&going&out?&
Bill&said,&&Yes,&I&am,&&and&he&opened&the&door.
George&said,&&Please&put&my&letter&in&the&box&in&the&office,&and&...&&He&stopped.
&What&do&you&want&now?&&Bill&asked&him.
George&looked&at&the&envelope&of&his&letter&and&answered,&&What's&your&girl-friend's&address?&
32
General&Pershing&was&a&famous&American&officer.&He&was&in&the&American&army,&and&fought&in&Europe&in&the&First&World&War.
After&he&died,&some&people&in&his&home&town&wanted&to&remember&him,&so&they&put&up&a&big&statue&of&him&on&a&horse.
There&was&a&school&near&the&statue,&and&some&of&the&boys&passed&it&every&day&on&their&way&to&school&and&again&on&their&way&home.&After&a&few&months&some&of&them&began&to&say,&&Good&morning,&Pershing&,&whenever&they&passed&the&statue,&and&soon&all&the&boys&at&the&school&were&doing&this.
One&Saturday&one&of&the&smallest&of&these&boys&was&walking&to&the&shops&with&his&mother&when&he&passed&the&statue.&He&said,&&Good&morning,&Pershing&&to&it,&but&then&he&stopped&and&said&to&his&mother,&&I&like&Pershing&very&much,&Ma,&but&who's&that&funny&man&on&his&back?&
33
Jack&worked&in&an&office&in&a&small&town.&One&day&his&boss&said&to&him,&&Jack,&I&want&you&to&go&to&Manchester,&to&an&office&there,&to&see&Mr&Brown.&Here's&the&address.&
Jack&went&to&Manchester&by&train.&He&left&the&station,&and&thought,&&The&office&isn't&far&from&the&station.&I'll&find&it&easily.&
But&after&an&hour&he&was&still&looking&for&it,&so&he&stopped&and&asked&an&old&lady.&She&said,&&Go&straight&along&this&street,&turn&to&the&left&at&the&end,&and&it's&the&second&building&on&the&right.&&Jack&went&and&found&it.
A&few&days&later&he&went&to&the&same&city,&but&again&he&did&not&find&the&office,&so&he&asked&someone&the&way.&It&was&the&same&old&lady!&She&was&very&surprised&and&said,&&Are&you&still&looking&for&that&place?&
34
When&Billy&was&very&small,&he&loved&pictures.&His&mother&often&drew&some&for&him&on&old&pieces&of&paper.&She&was&very&bad&at&drawing,&but&Billy&enjoyed&her&pictures&and&always&wanted&more.
快试试吧,可以对自己使用挽尊卡咯~◆◆
Then,&when&he&was&a&little&older,&Billy's&mother&gave&him&some&pencils&and&a&drawing&book,&and&he&began&drawing&pictures&too,&but&they&were&never&good.
When&Billy&was&five&years&old,&his&mother&gave&him&a&small&blackboard,&some&pieces&of&chalk&and&a&duster.&He&liked&those&very&much.&One&day&he&was&trying&to&draw&a&picture&of&his&father&on&the&blackboard.&He&drew&lines&and&rubbed&them&out,&drew&more&and&rubbed&those&out&too&for&ten&minutes,&but&when&he&looked&at&his&picture&he&was&not&happy.
&Well,&&he&said&at&last&to&his&mother,&&I'll&put&a&tail&on&it&and&make&it&a&monkey.&
35
There&were&men&soldiers&and&women&soldiers&in&an&army&camp,&and&every&Sunday&morning&they&all&went&to&church,&but&a&lot&of&the&soldiers&did&not&like&it&much.&There&was&a&choir&of&men&soldiers,&and&Captain&Jones&was&trying&to&find&women&soldiers&to&sing&in&it&too,&but&none&of&the&ones&in&the&camp&offered&to&do&this.
Then&one&day&Captain&Jones&saw&a&new&girl&soldier.&She&was&a&tall,&very&beautiful&girl.&Captain&Jones&went&to&her&and&said,&&Will&you&come&and&sing&in&the&choir&at&our&church,&please?&
The&girl&was&very&surprised&and&said,&&But,&sir,&I&can't&sing&at&all.&
&Oh,&that's&all&right,&&answered&Captain&Jones.&&That&doesn't&matter&at&all.&You&don't&need&to&sing:&I&only&want&someone&to&keep&the&men&soldiers&looking&in&front&of&them&when&they&are&in&the&church.&
36
Len&was&thirty&years&old,&and&he&had&very&long&hair.&He&lived&in&a&big&city,&but&one&year&he&did&not&find&any&work&there,&so&he&went&to&a&small&town&and&began&looking&for&work&there.&He&went&to&a&lot&of&places,&but&nobody&wanted&him.
Then&he&met&an&old&friend,&and&this&man&said&to&him,&&People&in&this&town&don't&like&long&hair.&Why&don't&you&go&to&a&barber?&He&can&cut&a&lot&of&it&off,&and&then&you&can&get&some&work.&
Len&went&to&a&barber&and&said,&&Please&cut&most&of&my&hair&off.&
The&barber&began.&He&cut&and&cut&for&a&long&time&and&then&he&said&to&Len,&&Were&you&in&the&army&a&few&years&ago?&
&Yes,&I&was,&&Len&answered.&&Why&did&you&ask&that?&
&Because&I've&found&your&cap,&&the&barber&answered.
37
Mrs&Robinson&was&a&teacher&in&a&big&school&in&a&city&in&America.&She&had&boys&and&girls&in&her&class,&and&she&always&enjoyed&teaching&them,&because&they&were&quick,&and&because&they&thought&about&everything&carefully.&One&day&she&said&to&the&children,&&People&in&a&lot&of&countries&in&Asia&wear&white&clothes&when&they're&happy.&What&colour&does&a&woman&wear&in&this&country&when&she&marries,&Mary?&
Mary&said,&&White,&Miss,&because&she's&happy.&
&That's&good,&Mary,&&Mrs&Robinson&said.&&You're&quite&right.&She&wears&white&because&she's&happy.&
But&then&one&of&the&boys&in&the&class&put&his&hand&up.
&Yes,&Dick!&&Mrs&Robinson&said.&&Do&you&want&to&ask&something?&
&Yes,&please,&Miss,&&Dick&said.&&Why&do&men&wear&black&in&this&country&when&they&marry,&Miss?&
38
A&few&years&ago&,&there&were&a&lot&of&hijacking&on&aeroplanes,&so&now&people&always&search&passengers&and&their&luggage&at&airports&before&they&let&them&get&into&an&aeroplane,&because&they&do&not&want&them&to&take&guns&or&bombs&or&other&dangerous&things&on&to&the&place&with&them.
快试试吧,可以对自己使用挽尊卡咯~◆◆
Mr&and&Mrs&Smith&were&singers,&and&they&travelled&a&lot.&Whenever&they&went&by&plane,&people&searched&them&and&heir&luggage,&of&course.
One&day,&Mr&Smith&came&to&the&airport,&and&the&men&searched&him&and&his&luggage&first.&He&was&ready&to&get&on&the&plane.&Then&Mrs&Smith&arrived.&She&was&late&and&in&a&hurry,&but&the&people&searched&her&and&her&bag&carefully.&Then&Mr&Smith&heard&her&laugh&and&say&to&the&men&happily,&&Oh,&that's&very&good!&I've&looked&for&those&scissors&for&several&days,&and&now&you've&found&them&for&me!&Thank&you&very&much!&
39
Mick&lived&in&the&country,&and&he&had&quite&a&big&garden.&He&grew&vegetables,&and&he&had&some&nice,&fat&chickens&too.&He&sold&the&eggs&and&the&meat,&and&got&quite&a&lot&of&money&for&them.
His&neighbour&had&a&big&garden&too,&and&he&also&had&vegetables&and&nice,&fat&chickens&in&it.&There&was&a&wire&fence&between&the&gardens,&but&it&was&very&old,&and&chickens&often&found&holes&in&it&and&went&through.
Now&Mick&wanted&a&new&fence&between&his&garden&and&his&neighbour's,&so&Mr&Biggs&came&to&build&it.&Mick&said&to&him,&&Please&make&the&fence&out&of&strong&wood.&And&I&want&a&hole&in&it.&Make&it&big&enough&for&my&chickens&to&get&into&my&neighbour's&garden&and&eat&his&vegetables,&but&too&small&for&his&to&get&into&mine&and&eat&mine.&
40
It&was&winter,&and&Mrs&Hermann&wanted&to&do&a&lot&of&shopping,&so&she&waited&until&it&was&Saturday,&when&her&husband&was&free,&and&she&took&him&to&the&shops&with&her&to&pay&for&everything&and&to&carry&her&parcels.&They&went&to&a&lot&of&shops,&and&Mrs&Hermann&bought&a&lot&of&things.&She&often&stopped&and&said,&&Look,&Joe!&Isn't&that&beautiful?&
He&then&answered,&&All&right,&dear.&How&much&is&it?&&and&took&his&money&out&to&pay&for&it.
It&was&dark&when&they&came&out&of&the&last&shop,&and&Mr&Hermann&was&tired&and&thinking&about&other&things,&like&a&nice&drink&by&the&side&of&a&warm&fire&at&home.&Suddenly&his&wife&looked&up&at&the&sky&and&said,&&Look&at&that&beautiful&moon,&Joe!&
Without&stopping,&Mr&Hermann&answered,&&All&right,&dear.&How&much&is&it?&
41
Mrs&Peters&had&two&children.&Sammy&was&seven&years&old,&and&his&sister&Annie&was&four.&Sammy&went&to&school,&but&Annie&did&not.&When&Sammy&was&at&home,&he&often&played&with&Annie&while&their&mother&was&cooking&or&washing&or&cleaning,&and&he&was&usually&very&nice&to&his&small&sister,&and&Mrs&Peters&was&free&to&do&her&work&quietly.
One&Saturday&morning,&the&two&children&were&playing&in&the&garden&while&their&mother&was&cooking&the&lunch.&They&were&quite&happy&until&Annie&suddenly&began&to&cry&and&ran&into&the&kitchen&to&her&mother.
Mrs&Peters&stopped&cooking&and&said,&&Why&are&you&crying,&Annie?&
&Sammy's&broken&my&toy&horse,&&Annie&answered,&crying&more&loudly.
&How&did&he&break&it?&&her&mother&asked.
Annie&stopped&crying,&but&did&not&answered&for&a&few&seconds.&Then&she&said,&&I&hit&him&on&the&head&with&it.&
42
Ted&worked&in&a&factory&in&a&big&town.&He&liked&fishing&very&much,&and&was&very&good&at&it.&Whenever&he&was&free,&he&went&down&to&the&small&river&behind&the&factory&and&tried&to&catch&some&fish,&but&there&were&very&few&there,&because&the&water&was&dirty.&Then&one&summer&he&went&to&the&seaside&during&his&holidays,&and&stayed&at&a&small,&cheap&hotel.
快试试吧,可以对自己使用挽尊卡咯~◆◆
&I've&never&fished&in&the&sea&before,&&he&thought.&&It&will&be&rather&different&from&fishing&in&our&river.&
On&the&first&day&he&caught&a&lot&of&fish&and&was&very&happy.&He&gave&them&to&the&hotel,&and&they&cooked&them&for&all&the&guests,&and&they&enjoyed&them&very&much.&After&that,&he&did&this&every&day.&But&when&Ted&got&his&bill&at&the&end&of&the&week,&he&saw&on&it:
&For&oil&to&fry&fish&(7&days):&£3.50.&
43
Nat&lived&in&a&small&town&in&England.&He&always&stayed&in&England&for&his&holidays,&but&then&last&year&he&thought,&&I've&never&been&outside&this&country.&All&my&friends&go&to&Spain,&and&they&like&it&very&much,&so&this&year&I'm&going&to&go&there&too.&
First&he&went&to&Madrid&and&stayed&in&a&small&hotel&for&a&few&days.&On&the&first&morning&he&went&out&for&a&walk.&In&England&people&drive&on&the&left,&but&in&Spain&they&drive&on&the&right.&Nat&forgot&about&this,&and&while&he&was&crossing&a&busy&street,&a&bicycle&knocked&him&down.
Nat&lay&on&the&ground&for&a&few&seconds&and&then&he&sat&up&and&said,&&Where&am&I?&
An&old&man&was&selling&maps&at&the&side&of&the&street,&and&he&at&once&came&to&Nat&and&said,&&Map&of&the&city,&sir?&
44
Harry&and&Bob&were&neighbours,&and&they&worked&in&the&same&bank.&They&were&young&and&they&often&went&out&together.&Then&the&bank&sent&both&of&them&to&a&new&town.&They&did&not&know&any&other&people&there,&so&on&the&first&Saturday,&Bob&said&to&Harry,&&There's&a&dance&at&the&Bridge&Hotel&this&evening.&Let's&go&there.&Perhaps&we'll&meet&some&nice&girls.&
Bob&answered,&&All&right,&&and&they&went&to&the&dance&together.&They&danced&several&times&with&the&girls&there,&and&then&Harry&went&to&Bob&and&pointed&to&one&girl.
&She's&a&nasty&one,&&he&said&angrily.&&Don't&talk&to&her.&
Bob&was&surprised.&&Why?&What&happened?&&he&asked&his&friend.
Harry&answered,&&She&said&to&me,&'Do&you&dance?'&
Bob&laughed&and&said,&&But&that&isn't&a&nasty&thing&to&say!&
&She&said&it&while&I&was&dancing&with&her,&&Harry&answered&angrily.
45
Mr&Miller&had&a&shop&in&a&big&town.&He&sold&ladies'&clothes,&and&he&always&had&two&or&three&shopgirls&to&help&him.&They&were&always&young,&because&they&were&cheaper&than&older&women,&but&none&of&them&worked&for&him&very&long,&because&they&were&young,&and&they&did&not&meet&many&boys&in&a&women's&shop.
Last&month&a&pretty&girl&came&to&work&for&him.&Her&name&was&Helen,&and&she&was&very&good.
After&a&few&days,&Mr&Miller&saw&a&young&man&come&into&the&shop.&He&went&straight&to&Helen,&spoke&to&her&for&a&few&minutes&and&then&went&out&of&the&shop&again.
Mr&Miller&was&rather&surprised,&and&when&the&young&man&left,&he&went&to&Helen&and&said,&&That&young&man&didn't&buy&anything.&What&did&he&want&to&see?&
Helen&answered,&&Me,&at&half&past&five.&
46
When&Jimmy&was&a&boy,&he&always&liked&watches&and&clocks&very&much.&When&he&was&eighteen&years&old,&he&went&into&the&army,&and&after&a&year,&he&began&to&teach&himself&to&mend&watched.&A&lot&of&his&friends&brought&him&broken&watches,&and&he&mended&them&for&them.
This&his&captain&heard&about&this,&and&one&day&he&brought&him&a&watch&too&and&said,&&My&watch&has&stopped.&Can&you&mend&it&for&me,&please?&
快试试吧,可以对自己使用挽尊卡咯~◆◆
Jimmy&said,&&Yes,&sir,&I&can.&&After&a&few&days,&he&brought&the&watch&back&to&the&captain.
&How&much&do&I&owe&you?&&the&officer&asked.
&One&pound,&sir,&&Jimmy&answered.&Then&he&took&a&small&box&out&of&his&pocket&and&gave&it&to&the&captain,&saying,&&Here&are&three&wheels&from&your&watch.&I&didn't&find&a&place&for&them&when&I&put&everything&back.&
47
When&Alan&was&young,&he&played&a&lot&of&football,&and&he&was&very&good&at&it,&but&then&he&went&and&worked&in&a&town,&and&there&was&no&team&for&him&there,&so&he&stopped&playing.
Then&he&began&to&get&rather&fat,&so&he&thought,&&I've&stopped&playing&football,&and&now&I'm&getting&fat.&What&am&I&going&to&do?&&He&thought&about&it&for&a&few&days,&and&then&he&said&to&himself,&&I&know:&I'll&play&tennis.&
He&had&a&few&lessons,&and&then&played&for&a&few&months.
He&met&a&girl&at&the&tennis&club&one&day,&and&they&played&a&game&of&tennis&against&another&young&man&and&woman.&Alan&played&very&badly,&and&was&very&angry&with&himself,&&I've&never&played&as&badly&as&this&before,&&he&said&to&the&girl.
&Oh,&&she&said,&&you&&have&played&before,&have&you?&
48
Bruce&was&an&Australian&and&worked&for&a&newspaper&in&Sydney.&Then&he&thought,&&I&want&to&see&Europe,&so&I'll&go&to&England&and&work&for&a&newspaper&there&for&a&few&years.&
He&flew&to&London&and&soon&got&work,&because&he&was&good&at&his&job.
He&lived&in&a&small&but&comfortable&house&near&London,&and&he&had&a&small&garden.&He&enjoyed&working&in&it&on&Saturdays&and&Sundays.&He&had&nice&neighbours&on&both&sides,&and&they&often&worked&in&their&gardens&on&Saturdays&and&Sundays&too,&and&then&they&talked&and&joked&together.
One&day&he&was&digging&a&hole&in&his&garden&to&plant&a&bush&when&one&of&these&neighbours&came&to&the&fence&between&the&two&gardens&and&looked&at&Bruce's&work.&He&laughed&and&said,&&Are&you&making&a&swimming-pool?&
&Oh,&no,&&answered&Bruce,&&I'm&going&home.&
49
Joe&and&Fred&were&helping&to&build&a&house&in&a&village.&The&weather&was&very&warm,&there&was&a&lot&of&dust&everywhere,&and&by&half&past&twelve,&they&were&very&thirsty,&so&they&stopped&work&to&have&their&lunch.&They&found&the&nearest&small&bar,&went&in&and&sat&down&with&their&sandwiches.
&Good&afternoon,&gentlemen.&What&can&I&get&you?&&the&man&behind&the&bar&asked.
Joe&looked&at&Fred&and&said,&&Beer,&I&think.&Yes,&a&pint&of&beer&each.&Is&that&all&right&for&you,&Fred?&
&Yes,&that's&all&right,&&&Fred&said.&Then&he&turned&to&the&man&behind&the&bar&and&said,&&And&I&want&it&in&a&clean&glass!&Don't&forget&that.&
The&man&behind&the&bar&filled&the&glasses&and&brought&them&to&Joe&and&Fred.&Then&he&said,&&Which&of&you&asked&for&the&clean&glass?&
50
Mr&Johnson&was&a&rich&old&man.&He&lived&in&a&beautiful&house&in&the&country&with&lots&of&servants,&but&his&wife&was&dead,&and&he&did&not&have&any&children.
Then&he&died&suddenly,&and&people&said,&&His&servant&killed&him,&because&they&wanted&his&money.&
But&the&servants&said,&&No,&he&killed&himself.&
The&police&came&and&asked&the&servants&a&lot&of&questions,&and&after&a&few&weeks,&there&was&a&big&trial.&There&were&two&famous&lawyers&and&several&important&witnesses.
&Tell&me,&&one&of&the&lawyers&said&to&the&witness&one&day,&&did&Mr&Johnson&often&talk&to&himself&when&he&was&alone?&
&I&don't&know,&&the&witness&answered&at&once.
&You&don't&know?&&the&lawyer&repeated&angrily.&&You&don't&know?&But&you&were&his&best&friend,&weren't&you?&Why&don't&you&know?&
&Because&I&was&never&with&him&when&he&was&alone,&&&the&witness&answered.
51
When&Pat&was&twenty-one&years&old,&he&began&to&work&in&a&small&office&in&a&city.&At&first&he&never&travelled&anywhere,&but&then&he&became&a&little&more&important,&and&he&began&to&go&to&other&cities&for&a&few&days&to&do&some&work&there.&Of&course,&he&stayed&in&small&hotels,&when&he&was&away&from&his&home,&but&he&did&not&know&very&much&about&living&in&hotels&at&first.
One&evening&when&he&was&staying&in&a&small&hotel&in&Sheffield,&he&came&back&from&the&office&and&said&tot&he&clerk&in&the&hotel,&&Good&evening.&Did&any&letters&come&for&me&today,&please?&
The&clerk&was&busy,&but&when&he&finished&his&work,&he&went&to&a&big&pile&of&letters&and&said,&&What&name,&please?&
&Well,&&answered&Pat,&&the&name&will&be&on&the&letters.&
52
Mr&Reece&was&a&farmer.&He&and&his&wife&grew&a&lot&of&things&and&they&had&a&few&cows.&They&worked&very&hard.&One&day,&Mr&Greece&said&to&his&wife,&&Let's&go&to&Portsmouth&next&Sunday.&We&can&have&a&good&lunch&there,&and&then&we&can&go&to&the&cinema.&
His&wife&was&very&happy&when&she&heard&this,&because&she&and&her&husband&always&ate&a&lot,&and&she&did&not&like&cooking&three&times&a&day&every&day.
They&went&to&Portsmouth&by&train&and&walked&about&for&an&hour.&Then,&when&it&was&12&o'clock,&they&wanted&to&have&a&meal.&They&looked&at&several&restaurants.&In&one&of&them&there&was&a&notice&outside:&&Lunch:&12:30&to&2:30:&£1.50&
&Well,&that's&good,&&Mrs&Reece&said.&&We&can&eat&for&two&hours&for&£1.50&here.&This&is&the&place&for&us.&
快试试吧,可以对自己使用挽尊卡咯~◆◆
这也算是故事啊??
不意思吗??
太单调了~~
快试试吧,可以对自己使用挽尊卡咯~◆◆
Just&so-so.
快试试吧,可以对自己使用挽尊卡咯~◆◆
快试试吧,可以对自己使用挽尊卡咯~◆◆
yuu
&jiigufuoiuoitpuypupruyrpiouyriyrpyiryrupyiurpyrpyirt
快试试吧,可以对自己使用挽尊卡咯~◆◆
奥运来了!!!!!!!!!!&’&!!!!
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2008&中国加油!!!奥运加油!!!
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加油&
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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HJ&IIUIUIUIUI
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IT&IS&VERY&WERFAL
It&is&too&long.=&=
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搞笑的相亲
After&being&with&her&all&evening,&the&man&couldn't&take&another&minute&with&his&blind&date.
Earlier,&he&had&secretly&arranged&to&have&a&friend&call&him&to&the&phone&so&he&would&have&an&excuse&to&leave.
When&he&returned&to&the&table,&he&lowered&his&eyes,&put&on&a&grim&expression&and&said,&&I&have&some&bad&news.&My&grandfather&just&died.&
&Thank&heavens,&&his&date&replied.&&If&yours&hadn't,&mine&would&have&had&to!&
和相亲对象呆了一晚上后,男人再也受不了了。
他事先安排了个朋友给他打电话,这样他就能借故先离开了。
当他回到桌边,他垂下眼睛,装出一副阴沉的表情,说:“有个不幸的消息,我的祖父刚刚去世了。”
“谢天谢地!”他的约会对象说,“如果你的祖父不死,我的祖父就得死了!”
笑话摘自:&哈哈,希望可以带给大家更多的开心与快乐!
23楼的故事挺搞笑的哦...
快试试吧,可以对自己使用挽尊卡咯~◆◆
快试试吧,可以对自己使用挽尊卡咯~◆◆
快试试吧,可以对自己使用挽尊卡咯~◆◆
手机英语阅读网
ehwap.net
快试试吧,可以对自己使用挽尊卡咯~◆◆
这个在&上有啊!
&换&域名了。
快试试吧,可以对自己使用挽尊卡咯~◆◆
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