I feel helpless - what have you done?
My son was killed in a senseless car accident Thanksgiving day. The 18 yr old boy driving was clearly speeding and lost control of the car.
I was on the scene of the accident about 25 minutes later just to find my son died at the scene of traumatic injuries. I pray he didnt feel anything! I agonize of the thought that he suffered, because he didnt deserve this!
I havent felt him around me yet. I just recently had 2 dreams with him in that didnt make any sense.
The boy driving hasnt been charged yet, not until the reconstruction by the state police is finished. My son and I were very close. He would have been 16 on his birthday which was 3 weeks after the accident. Everything sets me off and I cry all day. I am so damn angry right now.
That boy, whom my son only knew 1 month, had NO right to come into my life and throw my life into some freefalling tailspin!
My son died of blunt force trauma to the chest. The police believe the boy was doing approx 80 mph when he hit his breaks and locked them up.
I want so badly to talk to my son and for him to TALK BACK!
This is so incredibly hard to deal with. My son had his whole life ahead of him. I cant understand why his life blueprint was created for him to die so young and put our family through absolute hell.
I keep doing the &wish I would have or could have& done something different. If I'd only made him get in OUR car instead of letting him ride with that boy to the restaurant for our Thanksgiving meal.
It makes me so sick. After the accident, we learned the boy had 2 other speeding tickets, a ticket for disobeying a traffic control device, and just 2 weeks ago... got another speeding ticket for driving 26 mph over the posted speed limit.
He' s gonna kill someone else! Our state DOT has not done anything to him. He should have more than enough points to have his license taken away! I dont know how to get through this.
My son meant everything in the world to me. He was my baby. A real mama's boy. We had our arguements and he was a hard head, just like myself.
I cant have more children. It is physically impossible and I dont want it to sound like I want to replace him. I dont know what to do!!!!!!!!!!
Someone please help me. I've already been forcefully hospitalized for 2 days for being suicidal. I need closure... I need my son to come back, which I know wont happen.
I am afraid I will never see him again or that he wont know who I am or that I wont know him.
I havent even gotten so much as an I'm SORRY from the boy or his parents!
Have any of you experienced this loss and what do you do to get through it?
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I havent lost a child , but I have lost a Mom who I cared about so much, I see you are really suffering and I believe thats what you have to do,you have to Endure, some things cannot change ,the clock cannot be turned back, I do know time helps you feel betetr and find some acceptance,I also like you have experienced the would have ,could have ,should have..., it has been a short time so this is a normal pattern of grieving you are going through, accept it ,let it wash over you, take it on, yet dont fight it and know you will come out of it and be stronger. I have a little help here I have found in differant traumas in my life, it is my thoughts and only my thoughts that make me feel ill, sometimes Physically, it is impossible to experience any negative feeling without first creating a corresponding negative thought, . Okay when you start to dwell on the negative thoughts allow yourself to do that,for a few minutes then say in your head Stop.. enough...and distract yourself ,get busy , ground your self ,anything will do, trust me it sounds very simpistic but sometimes simple is what works Try it anfd Good Luck,I am so sorry ,you are strong and for your Family and you son, you will be okay...
I havent lost a child , but I have lost a Mom who I cared about so much, I see you are really suffering and I believe thats what you have to do,you have to Endure, some things cannot change ,the clock cannot be turned back, I do know time helps you feel betetr and find some acceptance,I also like you have experienced the would have ,could have ,should have..., it has been a short time so this is a normal pattern of grieving you are going through, accept it ,let it wash over you, take it on, yet dont fight it and know you will come out of it and be stronger. I have a little help here I have found in differant traumas in my life, it is my thoughts and only my thoughts that make me feel ill, sometimes Physically, it is impossible to experience any negative feeling without first creating a corresponding negative thought, . Okay when you start to dwell on the negative thoughts allow yourself to do that,for a few minutes then say in your head Stop.. enough...and distract yourself ,get busy , ground your self ,anything will do, trust me it sounds very simpistic but sometimes simple is what works Try it anfd Good Luck,I am so sorry ,you are strong and for your Family and you son, you will be okay...
I am so sorry for your loss....I have not lost a child....I wanted to tell you that MedHelp has a grief and loss forum...I sure you would get better answers there....take care
I am so sorry for your loss....I have not lost a child....I wanted to tell you that MedHelp has a grief and loss forum...I sure you would get better answers there....take care
I dont know about better answers I hope my answer helped you a little , try the method of distraction I mentioned, it works for me,&&
I dont know about better answers I hope my answer helped you a little , try the method of distraction I mentioned, it works for me,&&
didn't mean to offend you ....just was thinking she would get more of a response other there...
didn't mean to offend you ....just was thinking she would get more of a response other there...
no offense taken crabby
no offense taken crabby
Im so sorry for your loss.&&I wish I could reach through and hug you.&&I have not lost a child but I have lost a grandchild.&&The road is long, but it does ease some.&&At the beginning when people said it will get easier, I thought that they were nuts....no possible way would I ever smile again or laugh or be happy or be able to watch a TV show where someone died or a funeral procession or another pregnant lady.&&But, over time it has lessened....and that is what you have to believe in - that there will be a time that you can actually get through a whole day.&&You will not forget and you should not forget, but the constant ache lessens some.&&I would not expect anything from the driver.&&It really is not going to help anyway, and your anger toward him may be a good thing right now - a way for you to vent some emotion.&&Please keep posting...people here care.
Hugs,
Lori
Im so sorry for your loss.&&I wish I could reach through and hug you.&&I have not lost a child but I have lost a grandchild.&&The road is long, but it does ease some.&&At the beginning when people said it will get easier, I thought that they were nuts....no possible way would I ever smile again or laugh or be happy or be able to watch a TV show where someone died or a funeral procession or another pregnant lady.&&But, over time it has lessened....and that is what you have to believe in - that there will be a time that you can actually get through a whole day.&&You will not forget and you should not forget, but the constant ache lessens some.&&I would not expect anything from the driver.&&It really is not going to help anyway, and your anger toward him may be a good thing right now - a way for you to vent some emotion.&&Please keep posting...people here care.
Hugs,
Lori
I have lost a child and I can say under any circumstances, there is not a day that goes by that I don't miss my son. It has been 3 years for me and feels like yesterday. I still go through the 'if only' scenarios.Try that. I know when I went to meetings, there were a lot of parents who had lost their children to car accidents.
I have lost a child and I can say under any circumstances, there is not a day that goes by that I don't miss my son. It has been 3 years for me and feels like yesterday. I still go through the 'if only' scenarios.Try that. I know when I went to meetings, there were a lot of parents who had lost their children to car accidents.
I lost my Mom of Ovarian Cancer in August.I know its not the same.Go get the book Roses in December,its about other parents that have lost their children.PLEASE don't do anything to yourself.He was needed in heaven for something,someday you will know.I can only imagine the pain your in.In my town to young boys had a fatal accident and I first thought the boys poor parents.I wish I could take your pain away I can't but,God can.Pray for relief.Start a journal,write to your son,God,or just about your thoughts.He's in the best place ever heaven.It was awhile before My Mom started turning her lamp on,showing me signs.My son saw her over the cove wear we scattered some over her ashes,he didn't know this.The day after Thanksgiving I went to my friends work and my son was waving at the moniter asking if i seen him,I didn't but I saw a white round aura in the isle behind me.Which I believe was my Mom.She never came to me when I was in pain,only on one of my few good days.Death ends a life it does not end a relationship.My Mom and I were so close,i've lost 20 pounds since her passing,panic attacks,and am very depressed.It will get easier.Take care of yourself,I've made this hard on myself,try not to do that.Reach out,God has a way of leading you to who you need to go to for the comfort and understanding you so desperately need.Go to a grief group,if your up to it.I wish I could give you a big hug.You need comfort,to feel loved,and like someone cares.I really am worried about you ,I wish I could snap my fingers and take your pain away.I'm so sorry.If I can help in anyway let me know! Think of the guilt the boy that was driving feels,what if your son was driving and it was the otherway around.His parents I'm sure don't know what to say.He was in heaven before he was born,he's just back home happy with a totally different perspective on things.He feels your pain! Let the tears flow if you feel the pain.I don't even want to imagine how you feel,like your world has ended.Are you married?If you don't have any pets get one,its a proven fact that if you have a pet to care for you'll get over your grief quicker.I'll pray for you to heal.If I could bring him back for you I would.As bad as you feel now hurting yourself won't fix this,it could prevent you from ever seeing your precious son again,and I know thats the last thing you want.All I said came from my heart,this was hard,knowing what to write,I feel your hurt in your words.I'm so sorry.Jen
I lost my Mom of Ovarian Cancer in August.I know its not the same.Go get the book Roses in December,its about other parents that have lost their children.PLEASE don't do anything to yourself.He was needed in heaven for something,someday you will know.I can only imagine the pain your in.In my town to young boys had a fatal accident and I first thought the boys poor parents.I wish I could take your pain away I can't but,God can.Pray for relief.Start a journal,write to your son,God,or just about your thoughts.He's in the best place ever heaven.It was awhile before My Mom started turning her lamp on,showing me signs.My son saw her over the cove wear we scattered some over her ashes,he didn't know this.The day after Thanksgiving I went to my friends work and my son was waving at the moniter asking if i seen him,I didn't but I saw a white round aura in the isle behind me.Which I believe was my Mom.She never came to me when I was in pain,only on one of my few good days.Death ends a life it does not end a relationship.My Mom and I were so close,i've lost 20 pounds since her passing,panic attacks,and am very depressed.It will get easier.Take care of yourself,I've made this hard on myself,try not to do that.Reach out,God has a way of leading you to who you need to go to for the comfort and understanding you so desperately need.Go to a grief group,if your up to it.I wish I could give you a big hug.You need comfort,to feel loved,and like someone cares.I really am worried about you ,I wish I could snap my fingers and take your pain away.I'm so sorry.If I can help in anyway let me know! Think of the guilt the boy that was driving feels,what if your son was driving and it was the otherway around.His parents I'm sure don't know what to say.He was in heaven before he was born,he's just back home happy with a totally different perspective on things.He feels your pain! Let the tears flow if you feel the pain.I don't even want to imagine how you feel,like your world has ended.Are you married?If you don't have any pets get one,its a proven fact that if you have a pet to care for you'll get over your grief quicker.I'll pray for you to heal.If I could bring him back for you I would.As bad as you feel now hurting yourself won't fix this,it could prevent you from ever seeing your precious son again,and I know thats the last thing you want.All I said came from my heart,this was hard,knowing what to write,I feel your hurt in your words.I'm so sorry.Jen
I found this poem in a book,I pray to God that it brings you some peace & comfort.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& Dearest Mommy
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&When you wonder the meaning of life and love
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&Know that I am with you,
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& Close your eyes and feel me kissing you
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&in the gentle breeze across your face.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&When you begin to doubt that you will ever see me again
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&Quiet your mind and hear me,
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& I am in the whisper of the heavens
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& Speaking of your love.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& When you lose your identity
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&When you question who you are and where you are going,
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&Open your heart and see me.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&I am the twinkle in the stars smiling down upon you,
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& Lighting the path for your journey.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& When you awaken each morning
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&Not remembering your dreams
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&But feeling content and serene
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&Know that I was with you--
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&Filling your nights with thoughts of me
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& When you linger in the remnant pain
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&Wholeness seeming so unfamiliar
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& Think of me and
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& Know that I am with you,
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&Touching you through the shared tears of a gentle friend
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& Easing the pain
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&As the sunrise illuminates the beautiful sky
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&In the breathtaking glory,awaken your spirit
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&Think of our time,all too brief,but ever brilliant.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& When you were certain of us,together
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& When you were certain of your destiny
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& Know that God created that moment in time,
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&Just for us
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& Dearest Mommy,I am with you always.
I found this poem in a book,I pray to God that it brings you some peace & comfort.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& Dearest Mommy
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&When you wonder the meaning of life and love
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&Know that I am with you,
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& Close your eyes and feel me kissing you
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&in the gentle breeze across your face.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&When you begin to doubt that you will ever see me again
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&Quiet your mind and hear me,
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& I am in the whisper of the heavens
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& Speaking of your love.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& When you lose your identity
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&When you question who you are and where you are going,
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&Open your heart and see me.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&I am the twinkle in the stars smiling down upon you,
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& Lighting the path for your journey.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& When you awaken each morning
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&Not remembering your dreams
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&But feeling content and serene
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&Know that I was with you--
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&Filling your nights with thoughts of me
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& When you linger in the remnant pain
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&Wholeness seeming so unfamiliar
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& Think of me and
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& Know that I am with you,
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&Touching you through the shared tears of a gentle friend
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& Easing the pain
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&As the sunrise illuminates the beautiful sky
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&In the breathtaking glory,awaken your spirit
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&Think of our time,all too brief,but ever brilliant.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& When you were certain of us,together
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& When you were certain of your destiny
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& Know that God created that moment in time,
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&Just for us
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& Dearest Mommy,I am with you always.
I lost my 26 year old son just a few days before thanksgiving after an alcohol induced medical condition...he was on life support for 4 days before we, on medical advise, pulled it.&&There's not&&a day that goes by I don't miss him..I'm finding as time goes by I have more &good days& than bad days, though yesterday I had a pretty bad day..accept those as they come along..Getting back at this other boy is not going to bring your son back any more than getting back at the person who fed my son more alcohol when she knew he was already too drunk will bring mine back..
Try to think of something positive that can come out of this...not today..you're grieving and I'm grieving...but my ex and I are talking about a foundation to help young people in the situation he was in....severe depression, no insurance...we want to help kids that were in his situation..there's a lot of kids in that fix that need help..now..not &we can book
you in 30 days or 60 days&..which is what my son heard.
You're going to grieve for a long time...anger is part of grief...I'm entering that stage now..
but try to find something constructive you can do to preserve your prescious son's memory.....and may God bless you as you grieve
I lost my 26 year old son just a few days before thanksgiving after an alcohol induced medical condition...he was on life support for 4 days before we, on medical advise, pulled it.&&There's not&&a day that goes by I don't miss him..I'm finding as time goes by I have more &good days& than bad days, though yesterday I had a pretty bad day..accept those as they come along..Getting back at this other boy is not going to bring your son back any more than getting back at the person who fed my son more alcohol when she knew he was already too drunk will bring mine back..
Try to think of something positive that can come out of this...not today..you're grieving and I'm grieving...but my ex and I are talking about a foundation to help young people in the situation he was in....severe depression, no insurance...we want to help kids that were in his situation..there's a lot of kids in that fix that need help..now..not &we can book
you in 30 days or 60 days&..which is what my son heard.
You're going to grieve for a long time...anger is part of grief...I'm entering that stage now..
but try to find something constructive you can do to preserve your prescious son's memory.....and may God bless you as you grieve
My very deepest condolences on the tragic passing of your beloved son. My mom died in my arms on July 19th and I wanted to die and be with my mother. Life will never be the same, but I can't help what life has thrown at me...I don't have a choice, but to accept what has happened and would give my very life if it would bring my mom back to me.&&I'm a lost soul.&&Right now you are angry, bitter, hurt, heartbroken, devistated, want justice and don't know how to live without your son.&&This experience is going to test the very core of your faith like it has mine, but you are going to survive! It is hell...I'm living it.&&My brother married, a week later my mother died, a week later her brother in-law died and I had to give my aunt the news that my mom died, a week later my fiance's father died, two months later a dear friend died of cancer, five months later my mother's best friend who attended her wake died of cancer, I loss my job in May and my beloved dog died...oh...two week before Christmas, my brother's wife miscarried their first Child.&&I wanted to died....I fell on top of my mother's grave and asked her &mommy, where are you....where are you?&&You are going to be alright...one day at a time..God is going to give you the strenght to survive this hellish nightmare, like me.&&We will never be the same, but you son would not want you to suffer.&&If I were dead first...I would never want my&&mom to suffer over me....I want her in full peace and your son want you in peace and I promise you that with the help from God and one day at a time...you will survive and one day when God will call upon you, your precious son is going to come running to you at the gates from heaven and be the guiding light and show you the way.
Also, please do not even thing of suicide...it's a mortal sin and&&you will never see you son if you go that route.&&Hang in there and we are her for you...only someone who has loved and loss a precious family member can understand your pain.....God bless. Judy
My very deepest condolences on the tragic passing of your beloved son. My mom died in my arms on July 19th and I wanted to die and be with my mother. Life will never be the same, but I can't help what life has thrown at me...I don't have a choice, but to accept what has happened and would give my very life if it would bring my mom back to me.&&I'm a lost soul.&&Right now you are angry, bitter, hurt, heartbroken, devistated, want justice and don't know how to live without your son.&&This experience is going to test the very core of your faith like it has mine, but you are going to survive! It is hell...I'm living it.&&My brother married, a week later my mother died, a week later her brother in-law died and I had to give my aunt the news that my mom died, a week later my fiance's father died, two months later a dear friend died of cancer, five months later my mother's best friend who attended her wake died of cancer, I loss my job in May and my beloved dog died...oh...two week before Christmas, my brother's wife miscarried their first Child.&&I wanted to died....I fell on top of my mother's grave and asked her &mommy, where are you....where are you?&&You are going to be alright...one day at a time..God is going to give you the strenght to survive this hellish nightmare, like me.&&We will never be the same, but you son would not want you to suffer.&&If I were dead first...I would never want my&&mom to suffer over me....I want her in full peace and your son want you in peace and I promise you that with the help from God and one day at a time...you will survive and one day when God will call upon you, your precious son is going to come running to you at the gates from heaven and be the guiding light and show you the way.
Also, please do not even thing of suicide...it's a mortal sin and&&you will never see you son if you go that route.&&Hang in there and we are her for you...only someone who has loved and loss a precious family member can understand your pain.....God bless. Judy
Also....this 18 yr. old kid that caused the accident is going to have to live the rest of his days knowing that as a result of his ignorance and recklessness resulted in the death of a friend AND I'm sure the full extent of the law will fall upon him AND one day he is going to stand before the Almight and be held responsible for taking a life.&&His hell is just beginning. Judy
Also....this 18 yr. old kid that caused the accident is going to have to live the rest of his days knowing that as a result of his ignorance and recklessness resulted in the death of a friend AND I'm sure the full extent of the law will fall upon him AND one day he is going to stand before the Almight and be held responsible for taking a life.&&His hell is just beginning. Judy
Don't know what to say , I give only one advice to all those who have lost a loved one , study near death experiences and the profound message that they bring back .
Check out this site
Nobody ever dies , there is no death , we only shed our bodies .....
I will pray for peace ......
Don't know what to say , I give only one advice to all those who have lost a loved one , study near death experiences and the profound message that they bring back .
Check out this site
Nobody ever dies , there is no death , we only shed our bodies .....
I will pray for peace ......
Maam,
&&&&&&&&Can you please let us all know that your ok? God's with you,were all here trying to help in the best way we can..Did you get the book Roses in December?I hope your ok?
May God bless you,heal your pain,and keep you in his care.Your in my prayers,Jen
Maam,
&&&&&&&&Can you please let us all know that your ok? God's with you,were all here trying to help in the best way we can..Did you get the book Roses in December?I hope your ok?
May God bless you,heal your pain,and keep you in his care.Your in my prayers,Jen
I am here.
I've been going to see a counselor and a shrink.&&Each day seems to get more and more difficult.&&The kid driving got a 2nd speeding ticket since the accident onThanksgiving Day.&&This one was for 15 mph over the speed limit.&&He just didnt learn or just doesnt care.&&I feel as though my son meant NOTHING to him.&&He was 18... where the hell are HIS parents??? I mean, he lives with them!
I hope he re-lives that day over and over until the day he dies. I have no sympathy for him and I hope when the state police have the reconstruction finished that they slap him with every possible charge!&&That wont be done for a few months, although the states attorney did ask for the police to expedite the accident reconstruction. So, they may have it done sooner.
I stopped to put flowers at the accident site yesterday, which is less than a 1/2 mile from my house. Another reason this is so hard. The person who owns the house came over to me and asked me kindly to remove the cross and didn't give me a reason. Said he'd like it gone by spring.&&It IS a bad curve, so I am thinking that is why. Many kids stop there to visit the cross that one of my son's friends left.&&But I also felt alittle upset at his request.&&I mean, that is where my son lost his life.&&
I sent my husband back out to get the cross that afternoon and we put it in our flowerbed and I cried all afternoon.&&He told me some things about the way my son looked...because I asked him what he saw.&&I didnt get to see him that day. The coroner wouldn't let me see him!!!!!!!!!!!!!&&I had to wait 4 days to see him in the funeral home because they sent him off for an autopsy.
I feel no desire to move forward. I am stuck right now and need a new purpose in my life.&&I dont have any desire to live anymore.&&I pray that someone runs a red light at the right time with me in their path.
No, I didnt get the book yet. Our library is limited to selections, so I'd have to go to the larger library in the next town to see if they have it.&&I have been reading stuff on angels, spirit guides, and after death.
I saw him in my dining room a week ago.&&He walked through to the patio door as if to let the dogs in.&&I ran into the room and he was gone.
I just dont know what to do. My life has no meaning anymore. I lived for my kids.&&My husband doesnt understand... he isnt their biological father and he seems like he's moved on from it.&&I cry all day and dont let him see me.&&I think he feels I should be further along than what I am.&&I cant move on. My 17 yr old daughter is having a hard time too.&&I cant even be there for her, because I cant take care of myself!!
Doc put me on Celexa for depression and Seroquel to sleep.&&Neither are helping.&&I am still off from my job. Doc extended my leave until end of June. I dont wanna go back at all. I hate my job!&&I should have been spending time with my family instead of working all that damn overtime they wanted us to work.&&THat time is lost now.
Jamie didnt even get to start wrestling this year. It happened at the start of the wrestling season and he'd only got to practice. He didn't get to see his 16th birthday or drive my car to get his driving permit
People avoid me in the store that know me. Like I am a leper that has some horrible disease they can catch.&&That hurts! I know it's becuz they dont know what to say to me, but they can at least acknowledge that I am still here!
Thank you all for your kind words.&&I wish I could say it makes me feel better, but it doesnt. I know I am not the only person experiencing loss, although it feels like it.
Something has gotta give.
My son's name is Jamie Smeltzer if you wanna look him up on Google.&&There are a few articles on him in the local paper.
I am here.
I've been going to see a counselor and a shrink.&&Each day seems to get more and more difficult.&&The kid driving got a 2nd speeding ticket since the accident onThanksgiving Day.&&This one was for 15 mph over the speed limit.&&He just didnt learn or just doesnt care.&&I feel as though my son meant NOTHING to him.&&He was 18... where the hell are HIS parents??? I mean, he lives with them!
I hope he re-lives that day over and over until the day he dies. I have no sympathy for him and I hope when the state police have the reconstruction finished that they slap him with every possible charge!&&That wont be done for a few months, although the states attorney did ask for the police to expedite the accident reconstruction. So, they may have it done sooner.
I stopped to put flowers at the accident site yesterday, which is less than a 1/2 mile from my house. Another reason this is so hard. The person who owns the house came over to me and asked me kindly to remove the cross and didn't give me a reason. Said he'd like it gone by spring.&&It IS a bad curve, so I am thinking that is why. Many kids stop there to visit the cross that one of my son's friends left.&&But I also felt alittle upset at his request.&&I mean, that is where my son lost his life.&&
I sent my husband back out to get the cross that afternoon and we put it in our flowerbed and I cried all afternoon.&&He told me some things about the way my son looked...because I asked him what he saw.&&I didnt get to see him that day. The coroner wouldn't let me see him!!!!!!!!!!!!!&&I had to wait 4 days to see him in the funeral home because they sent him off for an autopsy.
I feel no desire to move forward. I am stuck right now and need a new purpose in my life.&&I dont have any desire to live anymore.&&I pray that someone runs a red light at the right time with me in their path.
No, I didnt get the book yet. Our library is limited to selections, so I'd have to go to the larger library in the next town to see if they have it.&&I have been reading stuff on angels, spirit guides, and after death.
I saw him in my dining room a week ago.&&He walked through to the patio door as if to let the dogs in.&&I ran into the room and he was gone.
I just dont know what to do. My life has no meaning anymore. I lived for my kids.&&My husband doesnt understand... he isnt their biological father and he seems like he's moved on from it.&&I cry all day and dont let him see me.&&I think he feels I should be further along than what I am.&&I cant move on. My 17 yr old daughter is having a hard time too.&&I cant even be there for her, because I cant take care of myself!!
Doc put me on Celexa for depression and Seroquel to sleep.&&Neither are helping.&&I am still off from my job. Doc extended my leave until end of June. I dont wanna go back at all. I hate my job!&&I should have been spending time with my family instead of working all that damn overtime they wanted us to work.&&THat time is lost now.
Jamie didnt even get to start wrestling this year. It happened at the start of the wrestling season and he'd only got to practice. He didn't get to see his 16th birthday or drive my car to get his driving permit
People avoid me in the store that know me. Like I am a leper that has some horrible disease they can catch.&&That hurts! I know it's becuz they dont know what to say to me, but they can at least acknowledge that I am still here!
Thank you all for your kind words.&&I wish I could say it makes me feel better, but it doesnt. I know I am not the only person experiencing loss, although it feels like it.
Something has gotta give.
My son's name is Jamie Smeltzer if you wanna look him up on Google.&&There are a few articles on him in the local paper.
I am so, so sorry for the loss of your son.&&I know EXACTLY what you're going through.&&I lost my son, my only child Jordan, on July 4, 2007.&&It has been a roller coaster of emotions as you well know.&&I immediately started counseling and two grief support groups.&&One of them is Compassionate Friends and I cant say enough about how it helped me.&&I discovered my son dead on the couch. Someone had given him an Oxycodone and it didn't mix with the prescription medication he was taking.&&One mistake and he was gone. He was my life, my everything, gone at 20 years old.&&I can say that going to these groups and counseling has been my lifesaver. I will also tell you that only time will begin the healing.&&Going through grief process is the hardest work you will ever do.&&You will be sad, angry, depressed, every emotion you can think of.&&You will blame yourself in some way, seems like everyone who loses a child does.&&I am going to schools and talking to kids about the dangers of drugs.&&I find that focusing my anger on saving someone else's life helps me.&&You may not know but men typically grieve differently than women do.&&They hold much of the emotions in and you interpet that as just not caring.&&Take the time now to do good things for yourself.&&Take care of yourself.&&Eat right, take a walk, take a bubble bath and do something each day to try to hep yourself.&&Life is worth living although at times I know you don't feel it.&& You will look back as time passes and although you will always terribly miss your son, you will see the progess you are making as you reach a &new normal&.&&My thoughts and prayers are with you.&&If I can ever help you, just please let me know.&&Susie
I am so, so sorry for the loss of your son.&&I know EXACTLY what you're going through.&&I lost my son, my only child Jordan, on July 4, 2007.&&It has been a roller coaster of emotions as you well know.&&I immediately started counseling and two grief support groups.&&One of them is Compassionate Friends and I cant say enough about how it helped me.&&I discovered my son dead on the couch. Someone had given him an Oxycodone and it didn't mix with the prescription medication he was taking.&&One mistake and he was gone. He was my life, my everything, gone at 20 years old.&&I can say that going to these groups and counseling has been my lifesaver. I will also tell you that only time will begin the healing.&&Going through grief process is the hardest work you will ever do.&&You will be sad, angry, depressed, every emotion you can think of.&&You will blame yourself in some way, seems like everyone who loses a child does.&&I am going to schools and talking to kids about the dangers of drugs.&&I find that focusing my anger on saving someone else's life helps me.&&You may not know but men typically grieve differently than women do.&&They hold much of the emotions in and you interpet that as just not caring.&&Take the time now to do good things for yourself.&&Take care of yourself.&&Eat right, take a walk, take a bubble bath and do something each day to try to hep yourself.&&Life is worth living although at times I know you don't feel it.&& You will look back as time passes and although you will always terribly miss your son, you will see the progess you are making as you reach a &new normal&.&&My thoughts and prayers are with you.&&If I can ever help you, just please let me know.&&Susie
I'm so happy to here from you,I was worried.I was in the hospital,couldn't breathe,they thought I had fluid in my lungs.I released myself against medical advive.I'm a prime example of what grief can do to you,I weigh 100 pounds now,am very unhealthy,nearly grieved myself to death.Don't do this to yourself,your loss is going to take time.Realize all your anger won't bring your son back.Take care of yourself,for I haven't and you still have your daughter,she so needs you.Pray for relief.I prayed to God and my Mom last night to please not come to me in my dreams,for I can't take these panic attacks and then asthma anymore,it worked.For I was grieving myself to death.We both MUST start taking care of ourselves,for others still need us.If were not healthy and happy were of no use to anyone.Don't feel guilty for being good to yourself,cherish the daughter you still have and Thank God she's still with you,enjoy the time with her and lean on one another.It took something very severe to get my fiance to realize what My Mom's passing was doing to me.Men just aren't very understanding.PLEASE turn this around! Big hugs & prayers to you and your daughter.Love,Jen P.S If you want you can write me a private message with a PO BOX or something,the book is at a local bookstore here,I would be happy to send it to you.Anything I can do,I'll do my best.
I'm so happy to here from you,I was worried.I was in the hospital,couldn't breathe,they thought I had fluid in my lungs.I released myself against medical advive.I'm a prime example of what grief can do to you,I weigh 100 pounds now,am very unhealthy,nearly grieved myself to death.Don't do this to yourself,your loss is going to take time.Realize all your anger won't bring your son back.Take care of yourself,for I haven't and you still have your daughter,she so needs you.Pray for relief.I prayed to God and my Mom last night to please not come to me in my dreams,for I can't take these panic attacks and then asthma anymore,it worked.For I was grieving myself to death.We both MUST start taking care of ourselves,for others still need us.If were not healthy and happy were of no use to anyone.Don't feel guilty for being good to yourself,cherish the daughter you still have and Thank God she's still with you,enjoy the time with her and lean on one another.It took something very severe to get my fiance to realize what My Mom's passing was doing to me.Men just aren't very understanding.PLEASE turn this around! Big hugs & prayers to you and your daughter.Love,Jen P.S If you want you can write me a private message with a PO BOX or something,the book is at a local bookstore here,I would be happy to send it to you.Anything I can do,I'll do my best.
I agree with Jen,....I grieved so terribly that I couldn't cry anymore, because if I did, my throat would swell almost shut. It is 2 yrs in July and I am just now starting to feel better.&&I can now go to the cemetary without sobbing, wailing all over my mothers grave.&&She is in peace and I trust in God that one day I will be reunited with my mom and I look forward to seeing her again.&&I am a part of her and death can never change the fact that she is my mom and I am an extention of her and I'm fianlly wanting to move on (we don't have much of a choice do we, but to &live&).&&I can only say that I have &adjusted& now, not by my own will or choice.....hang in there and you can always talk to us who understand&&your pain. Judy
I agree with Jen,....I grieved so terribly that I couldn't cry anymore, because if I did, my throat would swell almost shut. It is 2 yrs in July and I am just now starting to feel better.&&I can now go to the cemetary without sobbing, wailing all over my mothers grave.&&She is in peace and I trust in God that one day I will be reunited with my mom and I look forward to seeing her again.&&I am a part of her and death can never change the fact that she is my mom and I am an extention of her and I'm fianlly wanting to move on (we don't have much of a choice do we, but to &live&).&&I can only say that I have &adjusted& now, not by my own will or choice.....hang in there and you can always talk to us who understand&&your pain. Judy
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I feel helpless - what have you done?
My son was killed in a senseless car accident Thanksgiving day. The 18 yr old boy driving was clearly speeding and lost control of the car.
I was on the scene of the accident about 25 minutes later just to find my son died at the scene of traumatic injuries. I pray he didnt feel anything! I agonize of the thought that he suffered, because he didnt deserve this!
I havent felt him around me yet. I just recently had 2 dreams with him in that didnt make any sense.
The boy driving hasnt been charged yet, not until the reconstruction by the state police is finished. My son and I were very close. He would have been 16 on his birthday which was 3 weeks after the accident. Everything sets me off and I cry all day. I am so damn angry right now.
That boy, whom my son only knew 1 month, had NO right to come into my life and throw my life into some freefalling tailspin!
My son died of blunt force trauma to the chest. The police believe the boy was doing approx 80 mph when he hit his breaks and locked them up.
I want so badly to talk to my son and for him to TALK BACK!
This is so incredibly hard to deal with. My son had his whole life ahead of him. I cant understand why his life blueprint was created for him to die so young and put our family through absolute hell.
I keep doing the &wish I would have or could have& done something different. If I'd only made him get in OUR car instead of letting him ride with that boy to the restaurant for our Thanksgiving meal.
It makes me so sick. After the accident, we learned the boy had 2 other speeding tickets, a ticket for disobeying a traffic control device, and just 2 weeks ago... got another speeding ticket for driving 26 mph over the posted speed limit.
He' s gonna kill someone else! Our state DOT has not done anything to him. He should have more than enough points to have his license taken away! I dont know how to get through this.
My son meant everything in the world to me. He was my baby. A real mama's boy. We had our arguements and he was a hard head, just like myself.
I cant have more children. It is physically impossible and I dont want it to sound like I want to replace him. I dont know what to do!!!!!!!!!!
Someone please help me. I've already been forcefully hospitalized for 2 days for being suicidal. I need closure... I need my son to come back, which I know wont happen.
I am afraid I will never see him again or that he wont know who I am or that I wont know him.
I havent even gotten so much as an I'm SORRY from the boy or his parents!
Have any of you experienced this loss and what do you do to get through it?
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