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托福独立写作范文：你最想去哪个国家
来源：新东方在线
摘要：新东方在线托福考试频道为大家带来了托福独立写作范文，题目是“You have the opportunity to visit a foreign country for two weeks. Which country would you like to visit?”。
　　如果你有2周的出国时间，你最想去哪个国家？　　You have the opportunity to visit a foreign country for two weeks. Which country would you like to visit? Use specific reasons and details to explain your choice.　　［参考提纲］　　访问美国　　（1）访问美国的首都，看看美国的历史　　（2）访问美国的公司，学习美国的商业为什么发达　　（3）访问美国的自然风景，体会美国的美丽　　［参看范文］　　Many people cannot afford to visit a foreign country, because either they have no time or they have no money. Fortunately, I have the opportunity pay a visit a foreign country as I would like. The first choice comes into my mind is Italy.　　As we know, there are so many classical architectures in Italy. I am an amateur architecter. But I could only study those great works in the book or on the internet. Now that I have the opportunity to go there, I could observe them in a direct way. I think that will be totally a different expience.　　Also a football fan as I am, I am eager to watch the best football match on the spot. I am looking forward to applause for the stars together with other fans. If possible, I will be lucky enough to get the signature of my favorite stars.　　Tired after sightseeing and shouting at the stadium, I would like to lie on the beach of mediterranean sea. It is the most beautiful sea shore in the world. Playing sand with children, drinking juice on the beach, and surfing on the waves are all my dream.　　There are so many countries in the world, but Italy is my favorite. I could visit the great architectures, watch football matches, and enjoy the scene of mediterranean sea. Maybe two weeks time is too short for me.
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托福独立写作范文：大学多花费在体育上如同图书馆
来源：新东方网整理
发布时间： 10:10:27
　　Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Universities should give the same amount of money to their students' sports activities as they give to their university libraries. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.
　　I disagree strongly with the idea that the same amount of money should go to university sports activities as to university libraries. Although playing sports is a wonderful way to learn about teamwork, strategy and reaching your goals, it should not be the principal focus of a university education.
　　Students need the most up-to-date library facilities available to get the best education. Many of those facilities are very expensive to buy and maintain. These include computerized programs and access to internet research databases that students can use to find information all around the world. If a university is only offering its students resources of a decade ago, it’s depriving those students of a tremendous amount of information.
　　Even the book and magazine budget of universities has gone up tremendously in last decade. More is being published on every subject, and every university wants to have this information available to its students.
　　It also costs money for universities to keep their libraries open. Students need to have access to all the libraries' research tools as much of time as possible. Because students are young and can stay up all night studying, many universities are starting to leave their libraries open all night during exam periods. This costs money, because the staff has to be paid extra to be there. It also costs money to run the building (electricity, heat) during that time.
　　Students at universities are only going to benefit from their education if they can get to all the tools they need to learn. Sports are secondary to the resources that students need from university libraries. For this reason, libraries should always be better funded than sport activities.
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Copyright &　　Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Dancing plays an important role in a culture. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
　　舞蹈在文化中起到重要的作用，同意与否?
　　Around the world, people gather to explore their emotions through dance. The dances are created as part of celebrations, as religious services, as preparation for challenging hunts and warfare and to express sorrow (less often than the other situations). Indeed, dance does play an important role within a culture and reveals a wide range of information about the characteristics of a culture. Three of the most revealing aspects of dance are the nature of the culture’s symbols and art forms revealed in costumes and equipment, the body language (moves and gestures) which give information about social contact behaviors and frequently the style of preferred music for the culture.
　　Ethnic dances, and certainly popular dancing, anywhere around the world have associated preferences for costumes and special clothing. Through dancing, the participants are able to reveal and express their chosen role in the
social roles in the dance are shown public ally to the observers as well as the other dancers. Frequently dancers utilize objects like swords or sticks or hoops or musical instruments to further reveal information about their role in the social story portrayed in the dance. Items such as special headwear and jewelry are further examples of the garments that in general express preferences and culturally significant details about the particular culture.
　　Dancers, by the very nature of the activity, physically express beliefs and attitudes associated with their specific culture. In many dances the participants are modeling typical activities of their culture and thus imparting instructions and historical information to the audience. In other dances,one can see expressions of deep emotion: love, worship, grief, strength, anger, etc. and thus obtain clues about the inner feelings of the culture’s individuals. Dance provides an opportunity for others to witness some of the special behaviors associated with activities in the culture. Also,dance is a (usually) public statement so that observers can see how members of the culture treat those who are older members of the opposite sex, more respected members, etc.
　　The third aspect of dance that reveals much about a culture is the music or singing that is typically a part of the event. Observers can see evidence of the of the types of instruments characteristics of the culture, and who plays these instruments as well as how they are used -- instruments may be associated only with special events and thus transmit valuable cultural information. Frequently singing is part of a dance program, and again an observer has an opportunity to observe who is singing and the nature of the voices. I found this aspect of dance particularly fascinating during a brief time I spent in a rural village in Zimbabwe a few years ago.
　　Dancing is indeed a very important aspect of any culture. It provides a communal opportunity for members of the culture to artistically express emotions while acting out typical activities and concerns in their world. For outsider observers, many valuable details about the culture are revealed.
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() All Rights Reserved托福独立写作自我修改流程
面对托福独立写作，很多同学苦于无人帮其修改文章，因此渐渐放松了写作的练习，到考试之前也没下多大功夫。然而在实际的教学过程中，我发现有N多错误都是同学们自己都觉得“低级”的，但为什么自己在写作过程中发现不了呢?我想，多数同学可能在写作过程中一味挖空心思想内容、想句型，没有脑细胞来思考散落一地的各种错误；待文章写完以后，又懒得去一而再、再而三地反复琢磨，表现出对写作没有耐心。我想，下面这些自我修改文章的硬指标或许能够帮助同学们重拾对写作的兴趣和信心。
面对独立写作，很多同学苦于无人帮其修改文章，因此渐渐放松了写作的练习，到考试之前也没下多大功夫。然而在实际的教学过程中，我发现有N多错误都是同学们自己都觉得&低级&的，但为什么自己在写作过程中发现不了呢?我想，多数同学可能在写作过程中一味挖空心思想内容、想句型，没有脑细胞来思考散落一地的各种错误；待文章写完以后，又懒得去一而再、再而三地反复琢磨，表现出对写作没有耐心。我想，下面这些自我修改文章的硬指标或许能够帮助同学们重拾对写作的兴趣和信心。
一、开头段是否包含主题句?是否简洁?
开头段必须包含主题句。
有技巧的作家可能不会同意。但对于思路相对简单的来说，这是毋庸置疑的。当然，总论点并非&一边倒&：除了&绝对赞同或反对&、&部分赞成或反对&这样常见的主题句来说，作者的总论点当然可以是中立的，即&&&视情况而定&。
主题句既可以是文章开头的第一句，也可以是最后一句，还可以是中间一句。一定的是，总论点一定要简洁。简洁的标准就是，尽量用一句话，换言之，一个简单句或复合句，完整表述作者对某一个问题的态度。
简洁的标准并不意味着字数少。好的主题句应该包含题目的大部分关键字。何谓关键字?即能够基本概括题目的几个词语。把题目抛开，多数读者都能够根据这几个关键字，猜测出题目讨论的范围。
二、主体段落是否包含分论点?是否简洁?三句分论点相加是否可以概括全文?
分论点的作用首先在于展开总论点，其次在于引领各个主体段落。按照这个原则，我们把文章主体的两段或三段做一下精简，只保留每段的第一句话，看剩下的内容能否支撑起总论点。我在每次修改同学们的文章时总是把这三段的第一句话用下划线标出来，请他们自己体会自己文章的结构是否清晰。
当然，分论点有时也可以是段落内的第二句话。但是，打住!不可以是第三句、第四句，也不可以是最后一句。分论点跟主题句一样，也需要干净利落。最好直接简明地告诉考官和读者此段主体部分将朝哪个方向发展。这是最重要的。
不好的分论点，或者思路不清的文章，这时很容易看到是否切题，以及是否废话太多。
下面是一篇文章的分论点句：
When children learn respect for the environment, they appreciate the good things provided by their surroundings, and made an effort to preserve and improve the water, earth and air for future generations.
Respect for parents is vitally important for the child to come to understand the special responsibilities and affections between parent and children, which will then be passed on to his or her children.
Finally, when the child was true self-respect, the decisions he is faced with will he or she will avoid self-destructive situations and behaviors.
根据上面三句话，猜猜题目在问什么?可能很多人猜不准，但大家可能都能知道是关于children的东西。谜底揭开：本文的题目是&好的子女的品质是什么?&根据以上三句话，我们想想它们能否切题呢?
不能!因为作者开口闭口都在谈children,而这跟sons and daughters根本不是一个概念!子女也有成年人，甚至老年人。所以这篇文章提到的品质或多或少都要跟两代人之间的关系扯上关系。第一和第三个分论点与&子女&这一概念根本没有一毛钱的关系!写了一大堆，全跑题了!
三、结尾段是进行了总结?或展望?或建议?
这个问题基本提出了结尾段的写作思路。有的同学到了结尾段还在进行分析论证，这是典型的拖泥带水。放眼望去，即使是文章，结尾段通常也都是以这几种模式收尾。设想我们在跟对面的读者辩论，或者劝说。临终前最后一句，我们肯定会说：&相信我的，肯定没错!&或者&你真的应该&&&这句话有点像我们的&遗言&。人之将死，临终前总会把这一生的感慨化作几句话留给后人。写文章同样如此。在字数上，也不能超过主体段的字数。一般两到三句话就结束战斗。有的同学在结尾还洋洋洒洒写上大篇针对某个问题的&建议&。记住：你不是在向国会提交议案。
四、把主体段落大致分成&开头-中间-结尾&三部分，看看其内部的逻辑关系是否清晰?例子叙述是否太长、太啰嗦?有没有超过三句话?有没有无关信息?
逻辑通常是同学们写作中最容易忽略的。除了主题句与分论点的逻辑之外，主体段落内部的逻辑关系也很重要。假设一篇成功的独立作文总字数在300字左右，其三个主体段的字数就应该控制在50-60字左右。按这个要求，主体段大概应该限制在4句话以内。除了第一句是分论点、最后一句是总结句以外，剩下的只有2句话来分析或举例或反驳了。所以，这2句话必须针针见血，不能拖拖拉拉。
It could not be denied that the increasing globalization has a major impact on people's life. One country is better off to trade with other countries. Take the US companies for example. As we know, many multinational corporations in America need staff who are familiar with the country where their subsidiary company is located, so they are more likely to give the job offers to the international students who come from the country. And, universities enroll lots of international students to meet those companies' need. Thus, there may be much demand for international students.
在上面这段论述&为什么越来越多的人出国留学?&这段文章中，作者提出了第一个分论点，即全球化的影响。全球化导致了留学热，作者需要论证的是这一过程是如何产生因果联系的。结果，作者一开始就追根溯源，扯到了为什么全球化会存在(见第2句话)。这就好比让你讲如何用箭射中目标，结果你却滔滔不绝地讲箭的来源和设计原理。固然，如果你在写博士论文，这当然是可以的。但如果是写托福写作，不可以。因为篇幅有限。另外，本段的分论点句也不是很到位。(修改稿见文末)
五、有无过长的句子(超过两行)?有没有用分词作状语?同位语从句?强调句?倒装句?有没有过多使用定语从句?
这一点是关于语法层面的内容。语感不是很娴熟的同学会喜欢大量使用定语从句，从而造成许多长句，有时还不加标点。定语从句确实在我们日常阅读中出现较多，但通篇文章如果全是定语从句，会给考官留下语言技能欠缺的印象。想想我们学过的同位语从句、分词结构、强调句、倒装句。在平时练习修改文章的时候，见到定语从句，想想能不能改成以上这些句型?再或者，给自己加一个限制，比如每段定语从句不能超过一句，全文不超过四句，逼自己去改变语言的思路。
六、人称使用是否一致?时态是否恰当?主谓是否一致?
最容易犯的错误也是同学们认为最低级的错误。不恰当的时态，特别是主谓单复数不一致，几乎在每个同学的作文中都或多或少地出现过。相比较而言，关于人称问题却鲜有人注意到。作者与读者之间、与被讨论的对象之间究竟是什么关系?在好的演讲中，演讲人为了拉近与听众的距离，通常会说：&我们&我们&&奥巴马的竞选口号也曾经&Yes We Can&而不是&Yes You Can&.同理，在讨论中学生的问题时，同学们不妨用第一人称：&我们中学生/年轻一代&&&；在讨论职场问题时可以用第一人称或者第三人称(假设你对职场并不了解，或者自认为自己并非在职人士)：&人们通常&&，他们&&&这种对人称的使用一定要贯穿到底，不能在段与段之间换来换去，更不能在上下句之间随意改变。这个细节可能不会给分数带来致命的影响，但不排除在某些情况下，可能成为压死骆驼的最后一根稻草。
附：例文修改稿
It is undeniable that increasing globalization contributes to overseas study tide. As we know, many multinational corporations in America need staffs that are familiar with the country where their subsidiary company is located, so they are more likely to give job offers to the international students who come from the country. And, universities enroll lots of international students to meet those companies' need. Thus, high school students and college students in China flock to other countries to study, especially to developed countries, such as Britain, America and Canada.
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