Arianna Huffington為2013年史密斯學院畢業生演講
Arianna Huffington's 2013 Smith College Commencement Address
講者：Arianna Huffington
翻譯：洪曉慧
編輯：朱學恆
簡繁轉換：洪曉慧
後製：洪曉慧
字幕影片後制：謝旻均
關於這場演講（來源）
《赫芬頓郵報》總裁兼主編Arianna Huffington週日於史密斯學院畢業典禮演講，勉勵這所純女子學院畢業生改變對成功的定義。
關於Arianna Huffington（來源）
Arianna Huffington是《赫芬頓郵報》共同創辦人及主編，也是全國聯合專欄作家，擁有多本著作，為公共電台大受歡迎的政治圓桌對談節目《左、右、中》的共同主持人；亦與Mary Matalin、Mark Green共同主持每週聯合廣播節目《Both Sides Now》。2005年5月，她推出《赫芬頓郵報》，這是一個新聞和部落格網站，已迅速成為網路上瀏覽、連結者最多，且經常被引用的媒體品牌之一。
十分感謝。十分感謝Christ校長、校董會成員、全體教職員、勞苦功高的家長及親朋好友。特別感謝傑出的史密斯學院2013年畢業生。（歡呼聲）（掌聲）
恭喜各位，你們已抵達這段艱苦旅程的終點。當你們四年前第一次踏入史密斯學院時，我敢肯定你們絕對想像不到，在這段旅程的終點，會遇上一位站在講台後方、用滑稽口音替你們演講的女人（笑聲）。這種口音曾經是我生活中的一大困擾，直到我於1980年從英國搬到紐約，遇見亨利?季辛吉（前美國國務卿，美籍猶太人）。他對我說，別擔心妳的口音，在美國公眾生活中，千萬別低估它不可思議的優勢。（笑聲）（歡呼聲）
十分榮幸能與你們在這個特殊的日子裡共聚一堂。你們或許不知道，但過去幾週我忙著追蹤各位（驚呼聲）。在史密斯學院網站上、在 Twitter 留言板上、在 Facebook 上、在 Instagram 上、在 Tumblr 上，這樣我才能更加瞭解你們。因此以下是我的發現：你們迷人、好奇又古怪。一面提出大問題，一面擔心芝麻小事；一面解決宇宙奧秘，一面煩惱畢業典禮該穿什麼鞋（笑聲）（掌聲）。如果不小心絆倒，在YouTube爆紅該怎麼辦。（笑聲）
我發現許多史密斯人撰寫的榮譽論文主題，我不僅無法理解，甚至無法唸出（笑聲）。例如Lisa Stephanie Cunden的論文，關於熵－（歡呼聲）嗨，Lisa。我打算用希臘口音唸出論文標題：《熵與焓對螯合效應之影響》。
我得知三位籃球隊的大四生成功闖入第三級美國大學聯盟（NCAA）錦標賽（歡呼聲）（掌聲）。這是歷史性的成就，對於你們－看來她們有很多粉絲－這對身為女子籃球發源地的貴校來說是錦上添花的歷史性成就。（歡呼聲）（掌聲）
我得知許多史密斯人是家族中第一位大學畢業生（歡呼聲）（掌聲）。例如從多明尼加共和國遠道而來的Massiel De los Santos（歡呼聲）（掌聲）。
因此進入後續內容之前，因為你們給了我十分深刻的印象，我認為應該給予所有2013年畢業生《赫芬頓郵報》部落格的終生邀請（歡呼聲）（掌聲）。撰寫關於畢業典禮的種種，關於下階段人生旅程的所有冒險。為了避開《赫芬頓郵報》日益繁瑣的行政程序，我打算給你們我的電子郵箱地址（笑聲）：，你們可以直接寄信給我，獲得終生通行密碼。（歡呼聲）（掌聲）
隨著對你們的瞭解，使我湧起保護你們的念頭，特別是因為我有兩位和你們同齡的女兒－大學年齡的孩子。然而，我也意識到你們並不需要保護，因為你們已做好接管世界的萬全準備。（歡呼聲）
如果你們參加過Wurtele工作與生活中心的課程，你們甚至擁有「後史密斯生活通行證」（笑聲）。你們有機會學習一些事物，例如面試技巧、如何平衡預算、烹調健康飲食、甚至換輪胎，因此你們可將我今天的演講視為「後史密斯生活通行證」的延續。但我得坦白承認，我對烹飪一竅不通，更別提換輪胎了。（笑聲）
但部分後史密斯生活將包括：決定你想將精力投入哪些事物及不涉足哪些事物。我對此有十分深刻的領悟，當我意識到，我不需要完成所有自認想做的事，例如學德語、成為滑雪高手或學習烹飪。事實上，我領悟到放棄也算完成一個項目。（笑聲）（歡呼聲）（掌聲）
畢業演講者通常會告訴畢業生如何步入社會、攀上成功的階梯，但相反地，我希望你們重新定義成功的意義。因為你們邁入的世界亟需這一點，因為這和你們息息相關。你們在史密斯學院接受的教育明確顯示，你們有資格在世上任何領域獲得平等的立足點，甚至登上任何領域的巔峰。但我期待你們做的是，不僅是登上世界巔峰，還要改變世界。（歡呼聲）
我期待你們做的是領導第三次女性革命（歡呼聲）（掌聲）。第一次女性革命於一百年前由婦女參政主義者發起。當時一些勇敢的女性，例如蘇珊?B?安東尼和伊莉莎白?凱迪?斯坦頓，為婦女投票權等進行抗爭。第二次女性革命由史密斯校友領導－貝蒂?傅瑞丹和葛羅莉亞?史坦能（歡呼聲）（掌聲）。她們奮力抗爭－葛羅莉亞仍繼續這項志業－拓展女性的社會領域，替女性爭取全面決策權。當第二次革命仍在進行時，我們不能只是坐等第三次革命開始。我無法想像世上有任何地方，比史密斯學院更可能孕育出這場革命的領導者。（歡呼聲）（掌聲）
目前社會對成功的定義主要由兩部分組成：金錢和權力。事實上，成功、金錢和權力幾乎已成了同義詞，但現在是引入除了金錢和權力以外的第三種衡量方式的時候了。建立於健康、智慧、好奇及回饋的能力。（歡呼聲）（掌聲）
金錢和權力就像一張兩腳凳，或許能平衡一段時間，但終究不免翻倒。越來越多的人，非常成功的人，都無法避免失足的命運。基本上，我們以往對成功的定義已不再適用。它不適用於人類，不適用於這個世界。（歡呼聲）（掌聲）希望擁有理想中的生活，不僅是滿足於現狀的生活，即現今社會定義為成功的生活，我們必須引入第三種衡量方式。
2004年，Christ校長發表了一場超越時代的演說，主題為「女性職業的結構」。在我看來，這相當於第三次女性革命宣言。她談到消除對於野心及成功之相關迷思的必要性，其中主要的迷思是：野心似乎是通往成功的直線。我想這並不令人驚訝，男性塑造的成功形象是－是的－一條陰莖狀的長線。（笑聲）（歡呼聲）（掌聲）
但如果我們不重新定義成功，我們付出的個人代價將與日俱增。統計資料顯示，女性付出的代價甚至高於男性。以工作壓力沉重的職業女性來說－哪個職業女性不是如此？－罹患心臟病的風險增加約40％，罹患糖尿病的風險增加60％。過去30年中，當女性在職場上取得大幅進展時，自我評估的壓力程度上升了18％。
另一位史密斯學院畢業演講嘉賓Alistair Cooke，大言不慚地告訴1954年畢業生，是否能躍上枝頭取決於她們所嫁的男人。呃－（鼓譟聲）我想修正Alistair的建議，告訴各位，出人頭地的方法並非釣個金龜婿，更輕而易舉的方法是「睡上枝頭」。（笑聲）（歡呼聲）（掌聲）
現在我可以想像，Christ校長正想著，她或許該事先審核這份講稿（笑聲）。但別誤會，我所謂的「睡」僅是字面上的意義（笑聲）。因為目前職場文化完全建立於睡眠剝奪及過勞之上，我對此有深刻的體驗。因為在2007年，我因睡眠不足及過勞而昏厥，頭撞上辦公桌，撞碎了顴骨，右眼縫了四針。因此我開始重新審視睡眠的重要性，及重新定義成功的必要性，將個人健康納入其中。因為即使睡眠不足並未影響你的健康，亦足以影響你的創造力、生產力及決策能力。你們是否知道，Exxon Valdez漏油事故、挑戰者號太空梭爆炸事件、車諾比及三哩島核災，至少部分原因在於睡眠不足下所作決定的結果。
根據Walter Reed醫院的研究結果，唯一因睡眠不足獲益的是「神奇式思考」及對迷信的依賴（笑聲）。因此在座主修算命的同學，請盡量熬夜；其餘同學－請適可而止。（笑聲）
現在你們已經明白我是睡眠提倡者。事實上，《赫芬頓郵報》新聞編輯室中設置了兩間午睡室（歡呼聲）（掌聲）。起初－你們知道，數百名編輯、記者和工程師都極不願意讓人看見他們午睡，但現在，兩間午睡室已供不應求，我們不得不開了第三間（笑聲）。
但我得提一下，某天我經過其中一間午睡室，看見兩個人同時從那間午睡室走出（笑聲）。我心想，無論用什麼方式充電（笑聲），千萬－（尖叫聲）千萬別讓人力資源部知道，好嗎？（笑聲）
將健康納入成功的定義意味著，除了重視我們的金融資本，我們也必須重視人力資本；我母親是這方面的專家。我記得我十二歲時，一位成功的希臘商人前來我雅典的家中用晚餐。他暢談畢生成功事蹟，我母親發現他似乎精神不濟、疲憊不堪，於是對他說：「我不在乎你的事業多麼成功，你不曾好好照顧自己。你的事業或許資本雄厚，但你是自己最重要的資本。你健康賬戶中的存款有限，但你毫無節制地提取。如果你不盡快存點錢，將面臨破產的命運。」不出所料，不久後，那個人不得不接受血管成形術。
當我們將健康納入成功的定義時，另一件發生改變的事即我們和時間的關係。現在我們似乎總是感到時間壓力，每次看錶時，時間總是比我們想像的遲。研究人員給了這種現象一個術語－「時間飢荒」。蘇斯博士（美國著名童書作家）寫過相關情形－當然，在這些研究人員之前。「為何時間過得這麼快？」他寫道。「下午尚未來臨已邁入夜晚，六月尚未來臨已邁入十二月。天哪，時間如飛般流逝。為何時間過得這麼快？」是否有人感到熟悉？或更確切地說，是否每個人都有同感？
問題在於，只要成功僅由金錢、權利、攀上顛峰及耗盡精力所定義，我們永遠不可能有時間享受第三種衡量方式的另一項要素－好奇。我幸運地擁有一位總是充滿好奇心的母親；無論是洗碗或在海邊餵食海鷗，或譴責操勞過度的商人，她總是保持好奇心。不僅熱衷於宇宙奧秘，也熱衷於日常生活中的芝麻小事。每當我抱怨或煩惱時，她總是對我說：「親愛的，轉個台吧！遙控器在妳手上，別老是重播差勁的恐怖電影。」這種生活態度給了她一項天賦，就是打破階層藩籬的能力。
我記得住在倫敦時的某個晚上，當時我正和一位保守黨議員約會－肯定是睡眠不足時所做的決定之一（笑聲）－他將當時的首相愛德華?希思帶來共進晚餐。當時我母親在廚房裡－她大部分時間都待在那裡－一位水管工前來處理某個突發狀況，因此我母親詢問水管工對首相的看法。「不怎麼樣，」水管工說。「他對勞動階級一向不太友善。」「喔，」我母親說。「那我把他帶來這裡，你可以直接告訴他。」（笑聲）她不認為把首相帶來廚房有什麼問題。他只好坐在那裡，聽一位水管工大發牢騷。（笑聲）
健康（well-being）、好奇（wonder），接下來是第三個W－智慧（wisdom）。當你放眼四周，將看見各式各樣的領導者，在政治、媒體、商業等領域掌控大權。他們都擁有高智商、傲人的學位，卻不斷做出糟糕的決定。他們缺乏的並非智商，而是智慧。
現今，發掘自身的智慧越來越難，因為我們太過依賴電子設備、社群媒體，導致我們難以脫離對科技的依賴，重新審視自我。
一位充滿智慧的史密斯大二生－Erin McDaniel－在《Sophian》（史密斯校報）中，提到她遠離社群媒體的決定。她說：「我們已脫離真正的社會聯繫，選擇仰賴科技的膚淺聯繫方式。以許多層面來說，我們幾乎成了如同電腦般的社交機器。」
現在，身為數位媒體龍頭的我，不會要求你們完全脫離科技。我想告訴各位的是，適時脫離對科技的依賴；適時拔下插頭、重新充電，重新接觸自我、審視內心最深刻的智慧（歡呼聲）（掌聲）。
因為我堅信人類擁有兩項基本真理，第一項真理是：每個人內心深處都有一塊智慧、和諧及力量聚集之地。這個真理存在於世上所有宗教中－基督教、回教、猶太教、佛教－在它們眾多的哲理中，都以某種形式存在－「神的國在人們心中」。
但第二項真理是：我們生命中大部分時間總是遠離那個地方。我們一次又一次地遠離那個地方；事實上，我們偏離人生航道的時間比駛在航道上的時間還多。《赫芬頓郵報》甚至開發了一條應用程式，名為「靈魂導航系統」。它給你一種反面壓力和個人化指引，幫助你駛回正途。但伊甸園中那條蛇－即對科技的高度依賴－狡猾無比，因此我們必須更加狡猾，利用科技擺脫對科技的依賴。（笑聲）
當我們身處那塊智慧、和諧及力量聚集之地時，生命從此改觀；從掙扎轉為從容。我們將瞬間充滿自信，無論面對多少挫折、挑戰和失望。因為生命存在一個目標，通常並非顯而易見，通常當我們回顧過往、而非身處其中時才會浮現。基本上，當我們達到自信與從容的境地時，我們將擁有魯米（伊斯蘭蘇菲派詩人）所言的生活：「彷彿一切都為我們量身打造。」
因此，我們談過健康、智慧和好奇，接下來是成功第三種度量衡的最後一項元素－同理心、慈悲心回饋的意願。開國元勳曾闡述對幸福的追求，如果審視原始文件－我相信所有史密斯人都已看過－幸福並非意味著追求更多享樂方式，幸福來自於行善的良好感覺。當然，在座許多人已明白這一點。（歡呼聲）（掌聲）
長期以來，史密斯人以無數方式回饋社會：藉由「史密斯中國項目」與中國學校及非政府組織合作；藉由「最佳夥伴計劃」服務社區中的殘障人士；前往霍利奧克輔導兒童；藉由數位化敘事，於Springfield展開健康議題討論。
因此，你們即將踏出這座美麗的校園，追尋夢想、在自己選擇的領域裡步步高升。我懇求各位，別採納這個社會對成功的定義，因為它不適用於任何人。它不適用於女性、不適用於男性、不適用於北極熊（笑聲）、不適用於－（歡呼聲）甚至不適用於即將成群包圍我們的蟬。它只適用於那些製造壓力、失眠及高血壓藥物的人。（歡呼聲）（掌聲）
因此，不要僅滿足於突破玻璃天花板，在殘缺不全的企業或政治體系中。其中有太多缺乏智慧的領導者，使我們陷入層出不窮的自我危機。所謂的改變，不僅是使企業高層從男性轉變成女性，也必須改變錯誤的根源，重新定義我們的價值觀及對成功的認知。
請牢記，儘管人生旅途中有許多路標，指引你們如何賺錢、如何攀上顛峰，但很少有路標提醒你們，保有真正的自我、回饋奉獻；停下腳步、體會生命的驚喜，接觸心中那塊充滿可能性的地方。
我的希臘同胞阿基米德曾說：「給我一個支點，我就能撬起地球。」因此，尋找自己的支點，即智慧、和諧、力量聚集之處。藉由這個支點，領導第三次女性革命；根據你們對成功的定義，重新塑造你們心中理想的世界。
因此，所有人－無論男女－都能生活的更從容、更喜樂、更充滿同理心、更心懷感激。當然－更充滿愛。
因此，2013年畢業生，恭喜各位。勇往直前、力爭上游、探索自我。
謝謝。（歡呼聲）（掌聲）
&以下為系統擷取之英文原文About this talk
Arianna Huffington, president and editor-in-chief of The Huffington Post, delivered the commencement address at Smith College Sunday, where she dared the graduates of the all-female college to change how they define success.
About Arianna Huffington
Arianna Huffington is the co-founder and editor-in-chief of The Huffington Post, a nationally syndicated columnist, and author of many books. She is also co-host of &Left, Right & Center,& public radio&s popular political roundtable program, as well as &Both Sides Now,& a weekly syndicated radio show with Mary Matalin moderated by Mark Green. In May 2005, she launched The Huffington Post, a news and blog site that has quickly become one of the most widely-read, linked to, and frequently cited media brands on the Internet.
About the transcript
Thank you so much, President Christ, the Board of Trustees, distinguished alumnae, members of the faculty, devoted parents and friends, and especially the fabulous Smith College class of 2013. Congratulations. You have reached the light at the end of the tunnel. And I'm sure that when you first arrived at Smith you never would have imagined that at the other end of that tunnel would be a lady talking to you from behind a podium in a funny accent. This accent, incidentally, was the bane of my existence -- until, that is, I moved to New York in 1980 and met Henry Kissinger, who told me not to worry about my accent, because you can never, in American public life, underestimate the advantages of complete and total incomprehensibility.
I'm so grateful to be with you at this special moment in your lives, and I want to start by taking a moment to honor President Christ, your magnificent, viola-playing, Victorian poetry-quoting president, who is retiring after 11 years of service, leadership and inspiration.
You don't know it but I have spent the last several weeks stalking you -- on your various Smith websites, on your Twitter feeds, on Facebook, on Instagram, on Tumblr -- so I could get to know you better.
And here's what I've found: you're fascinating and curious and quirky and asking the big questions and worrying about the little things, and solving the cosmic riddles and agonizing about what to have for lunch, which some of you then take a picture of for the world to see.
I've learned about Smithies writing honors theses on subjects that I not only don't understand but can't even pronounce. Like Lisa Stephanie Cunden's thesis on entropy and enthalpy contributions to the chelate effect -- I wanted to give you the gift of hearing that said in a Greek accent. I've learned about the three seniors who were part of the basketball team, which made the Division 3 NCAA tournament for the first time -- a historic accomplishment to add to your already historic status as the birthplace of women's basketball. I've learned about the many Smithies who will be the first in their families to graduate from college, like Massiel De los Santos, who began her journey in the Dominican Republic.
Getting to know you has made me feel very protective of you, especially since I have two college-aged daughters myself. But I know you don't need protecting. You are prepared and ready to take on the world -- and if you have attended the Wurtele Center for Work and Life, you even have a Passport to Life After Smith, with the opportunity to learn things like job interviewing skills, how to balance a budget, cook a healthy meal and even change a tire.
So you can consider my speech today a continuation of the Passport to Life After Smith, though in the interest of full disclosure, I can't cook and definitely cannot change a tire. But part of life after Smith will be deciding what are the things you want to put your energy into and what are the things you don't. I was personally very relieved when I realized that you can complete a project by dropping it. That's how I completed learning to cook and learning German, becoming a good skier, and a list of other things too long to recite.
Commencement speakers are traditionally expected to tell graduates how to go out there and climb the ladder of success, but I want to ask you, instead, to redefine success. Because the world you are headed into desperately needs it. And because you are up to it. Your education at Smith has made it unequivocally clear that you are entitled to take your place in the world on equal footing, in every field, and at the top of every field. But what I urge you to do is not just take your place at the top of the world, but to change the world.
What I urge you to do is to lead the third women's revolution.
The first was led by the suffragists over a hundred years ago, when brave women like Susan B. Anthony and Elizabeth Cady Stanton fought, among other things, to give women the right to vote. The second women's revolution was powerfully led by Smith alumnae, Betty Friedan and Gloria Steinem. They fought -- and Gloria continues to fight -- to expand the role of women in our society, to give us full access to the rooms of power where decisions are made.
And while the second revolution is still in progress, we simply can't wait any longer for the third revolution to begin. And I can't imagine a place where I would be more likely to find the leaders of that revolution than right here at Smith.
At the moment, our society's notion of success is largely composed of two parts: money and power. In fact, success, money and power have practically become synonymous.
But it's time for a third metric, beyond money and power -- one founded on well-being, wisdom, our ability to wonder, and to give back. Money and power by themselves are a two legged stool -- you can balance on them for a while, but eventually you're going to topple over. And more and more people, very successful people, are toppling over. Basically, success the way we've defined it is no longer sustainable. It's no longer sustainable for human beings or for societies. To live the lives we want, and not just the ones we settle for, the ones society defines as successful, we need to include the third metric.
In 2004, President Christ gave a speech that was really ahead of its time. It was titled &Inside the Clockwork of Women's Careers.& To me, it's very much a third women's revolution call to arms. She spoke of the need to dispel myths about ambition and success, chief among them the myth that success and ambition look like a straight line. Now I guess it's no big surprise that the image of success created by men would be, yes, a long, phallic-shaped line.
But if we don't redefine success, the personal price we pay will get higher and higher. And as the data shows, that price is even higher for women than it is for men. Already, women in stressful jobs have a nearly 40 percent increased risk of heart disease, and a 60 percent greater risk for diabetes. And in the last 30 years, as women have made strides and gains in the workplace, self-reported levels of stress have gone up 18 percent.
Here's another fact that will likely be no surprise to you: the Millennial Generation, aka you, is the most stressed generation of all, outranking Baby Boomers and the gently euphemistic &Matures.& Right now, America's workplace culture is practically fueled by stress, sleep-deprivation, and burnout.
Another Smith graduation speaker, Alistair Cooke, notoriously told the class of 1954 that their way to the top would be determined by whom they married.
I want to do old Alistair one better, and tell you that you don't get to the top by marrying someone. A much simpler way is to sleep your way to the top. Right now I imagine President Christ is thinking she probably should have vetted this speech.
But no, I'm talking about sleep in the literal sense. I know of what I speak: In 2007, sleep deprived and exhausted, I fainted, hit my head on my desk, broke my cheekbone and got four stitches on my right eye. And even as it's affecting our health, sleep deprivation will also profoundly affect your creativity, your productivity, and your decision-making. The Exxon Valdez wreck, the explosion of the Challenger Space Shuttle, and the nuclear accidents at Chernobyl and Three Mile Island -- all were at least partially the result of decisions made on too little sleep.
According to researchers at Walter Reed hospital, the only thing that gets better with sleep deprivation is &magical thinking& and reliance on superstition. So for those of you majoring in fortune telling, go ahead and burn the midnight oil. The rest of you: not so much.
As you can tell by now, I'm a major sleep evangelist. The Huffington Post's office in New York sports two nap rooms: at the beginning our reporters, editors and engineers were reluctant to use them, afraid that people might think they're shirking their duties. We have to change workplace culture so that it&s walking around drained and exhausted that&s stigmatized. I&m happy to say, our nap rooms are now always booked. Although the other day I was walking by and I saw two people walking out of one of the nap rooms. But, hey, whatever it takes to recharge. Just don't tell HR, ok?
What adding well-being to our definition of success means is that, in addition to looking after our financial capital, we need to do everything we can to protect and nurture our human capital. My mother was an expert at that. I still remember, when I was twelve years old, a very successful Greek businessman coming for dinner. He looked rundown and exhausted. But when we sat down to dinner, he told us how well things were going for him. He was thrilled about a new contract he had just won to build a new museum. My mother was not impressed. &I don't care how well your business is doing,& she told him bluntly,& you're not taking care of you. Your business might have a great bottom line, but you are your most important capital. There are only so many withdrawals you can make from your health bank account, but you just keep on withdrawing. You could go bankrupt if you don't make some deposits soon.& And indeed, not long after that, the man had to be admitted for an angioplasty.
When we include well-being in our definition of success, another thing that will change is our relationship with time. Researchers have come up with a term for our stressed out feeling that there's never enough time for what we want to do -- they call it &Time Famine.& Every time we look at our watch it seems to be later than we think. I personally have long had a very strained relationship with time & more in line with a certain PhD from Oxford, in English Lit, actually -- Dr. Seuss.
&How did it get so late so soon?& he wrote. &It's night before it's afternoon. December is here before it's June. My goodness how the time has flewn. How did it get so late so soon?&
Does that feel familiar to anyone? Or, more likely, to everyone? The problem is that as long as success is defined by just money and power, climbing and burnout, we are never going to be able to enjoy that other aspect of the third metric: wonder.
I was blessed with a mother who was in a constant state of wonder. Whether she was washing dishes or feeding seagulls at the beach or reprimanding overworking businessmen, she maintained her sense of wonder, delighted at both the mysteries of the universe and the everyday little things that fill our lives. And whenever I'd complain or be upset about something, my mother had the same advice: &Darling, change the channel. You are in control of the clicker. Don't replay the bad, scary movie.&
One of the gifts this attitude to life gave her was the ability to cut through hierarchies. One night, when I was in my twenties and still living in London, a Tory member of Parliament I was dating at the time (it might have been one of those decisions brought on by sleep deprivation) had brought the Prime Minister Edward Heath to dinner. My mother was in the kitchen, where she could be found most of the time, talking to the plumber, who had come to fix a last-minute problem. She asked the plumber what he thought of the prime minister. &Not much,& he said, &he hasn't been good for working people.& &Let me go bring him here so you can tell him directly,& my mother replied. And that's how the prime minister ended up in the kitchen talking to the plumber.
Well-being, wonder, and now I'd like to talk about another indispensable W -- wisdom.
Wherever we look around the world, we see very smart leaders -- in politics, in business, in media -- making terrible decisions. What they're lacking is not IQ, but wisdom. Which is no surprise, since it's never been harder to tap into our own wisdom. Because in order to do so, we have to disconnect from all our ever-present devices, our gadgets, our screens, our social media, and reconnect with ourselves. Your very own, very wise Smith sophomore, Erin McDaniel, wrote in the Sophian about her decision to disconnect from all her social media. &We have eschewed real social connections in favor of superficial, technology-bridged ones & We have become, in many cases, nearly as (socially) robotic as our computers.&
Or, as Smith's Buddhist adviser Ryūmon Guti&rrez Baldoqu&n said, &people want to engage in something whole-heartedly in order to find meaning.&
Back to my mother. The last time she got angry with me before she died was when she saw me reading my email and talking to my children at the same time. &I abhor multitasking,& she said, in a Greek accent that puts mine to shame. In other words, being connected in a shallow way to the entire world can prevent us from being deeply connected to those closest to us -- including ourselves. And that is where wisdom lies. Don't worry -- you don't have the head of a digital news operation telling you to disconnect from technology altogether. What I&m saying is: learn to regularly disconnect from technology in order to connect with yourself. Learn to unplug in order to recharge. I'm convinced about two fundamental truths about human beings. The first truth is that we all have within us a centered place of wisdom, harmony, and strength. This is a truth that all the world's religions -- whether Christianity, Islam, Judaism, or Buddhism -- and many of its philosophies, hold true in one form or another: &The Kingdom of God is Within.&
The second truth is that we're all going to veer away from that place again and again and again. That's the nature of life. In fact, we may be off-course more often than we are on-course. At The Huffington Post, we even came up with an app, called GPS for the Soul, that helps us get back to that place. I know there is something paradoxical about using technology to disconnect from technology, but the snake in our digital garden of Eden has been hyper-connectivity with technology. And we have to be more wily than the snake, hence using technology to help us disconnect from technology.
When we're in that centered place of wisdom, harmony and strength, life is transformed, from struggle to grace, and we are suddenly filled with trust, no matter the obstacles, challenges and disappointments. Because there is a purpose to our lives, even if it is sometimes hidden from us, and even if the biggest turning points and heartbreaks only make sense as we look back, not as we are experiencing them. So we might as well live life as if -- as the poet Rumi put it -- &Everything is rigged in our favor.&
We've talked about well-being, wisdom, and wonder. And now, the last element of the third metric of success: empathy, compassion, the willingness to give back.
The founding fathers wrote about the pursuit of happiness, and if you go back to the original documents -- as I'm sure all of you have done -- happiness did not mean the pursuit of more ways to be entertained. It was the happiness that comes from feeling good by doing good.
I was at a neuroscience conference this week in Madison, Wisconsin, with the Dalai Lama, and there was plenty of scientific data provided that shows unequivocally that empathy and service increase our well-being. So that's how the elements of the third metric become part of a virtuous cycle.
Of course many of you already know that. Smithies have given back in countless ways, near and far: working with Chinese schools and NGOs through the Smith China Project, spending time in the community with people with disabilities through the Best Buddies program, tutoring children in Holyoke, and using digital storytelling to start conversations about health issues in Springfield.
So as you leave this beautiful campus today to follow your dreams and scale great heights in whatever profession you choose, I beg you: don&t buy society&s definition of success. Because it&s not working for anyone. It&s not working for women, it's not working for men, it's not working for polar bears, it's not working for the cicadas that are apparently about to emerge and swarm us. It's only truly working for those who make pharmaceuticals for stress, diabetes, heart disease, sleeplessness and high blood pressure.
So please don't settle for just breaking through glass ceilings in a broken corporate system or in a broken political system, where so many leaders are so disconnected from their own wisdom that we are careening from one self-inflicted crisis to another. Change much more than the M to a W at the top of the corporate flow chart. Change it by going to the root of what's wrong and redefining what we value and what we consider success.
And remember that while there will be plenty of signposts along your path directing you to make money and climb up the ladder, there will be almost no signposts reminding you to stay connected to the essence of who you are, to take care of yourself along the way, to reach out to others, to pause to wonder, and to connect to that place from which everything is possible. &Give me a place to stand,& my Greek compatriot Archimedes said, &and I will move the world.&
So find your place to stand -- your place of wisdom and peace and strength. And from that place, lead the third women's revolution and remake the world in your own image, according to your own definition of success, so that all of us -- women and men -- can live our lives with more grace, more joy, more empathy, more gratitude, and yes, more love. And now, Smith College class of 2013, onward, upward and inward!
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