高频词，一定要记住哦！
从…落下；
从…去掉；
不新鲜的；
不能接受；
过去分词：
现在分词：
第三人称单数：
大家都在背：
1. I feel it's done me good to get it off my chest.
我感觉吐吐苦水对我有好处。
来自柯林斯例句
2. Their first car rolls off the production line on December 16.
他们的第一辆车于12月16日下线。
来自柯林斯例句
3. French soldiers squared off with a gunman at a road checkpoint.
在一个公路检查站法国士兵摆开架势，准备迎战一名持枪者。
来自柯林斯例句
4. Lights reflected off dust-covered walls creating a ghostly luminescence.
灯光照在满是灰尘的墙上，反射回苍白的冷光。
来自柯林斯例句
5. "Telmex" was bought off the government by a group of investors.
一批投资商从政府手中买下墨西哥电信公司。
来自柯林斯例句
1. “不正常的,古怪的”释义下的同义词
2. “低于正常的,次的”释义下的同义词
3. “空闲的,假日的”释义下的同义词
4. “较远的,远离的”释义下的同义词
5. “错误的,不正确的”释义下的同义词
1. “离开;在...之外”释义下的反义词
其他释义下的反义词
In addition to the uses shown below, off is used after some verbs and nouns in order to introduce extra information. Off is also used in phrasal verbs such as ‘get off’, ‘pair off’, and ‘sleep off’.除下列用法外，off 可以用在某些动词和名词之后引出附加信息。off 还可用于 get off,pair off, sleep off 等短语动词中。
The preposition is pronounced /?f, am ?:f/. The adverb is pronounced /'?f, am 美 '?:f/. 介词读作 /?f, 美 ?:f/，作副词时在句中重读。
从…移开；从…脱离 If something is taken off something else or moves off it, it is no longer touching that thing.&
【搭配模式】：ADV after v
He took his feet off the desk...
他把脚从桌上移开。
I took the key for the room off a rack above her head...
我从她头上方的架子上拿走了房门钥匙。
Hugh wiped the rest of the blood off his face with his handkerchief.
休用手帕擦去脸上残留的血迹。
Off is also an adverb.
Lee broke off a small piece of orange and held it out to him...
李掰下一小瓣橘子递给他。
His exhaust fell off six laps from the finish.
离终点还有6圈时，他的排气管掉了下来。
从（交通工具）上下来 When you get off a bus, train, or plane, you come out of it or leave it after you have been travelling on it.&
Don't try to get on or off a moving train!...
火车运行时请勿上下车！
As he stepped off the aeroplane, he was shot dead.
他一走下飞机便中枪身亡。
Off is also an adverb.
At the next stop the man got off too and introduced himself.
那个男人在下一站也下了车并作了自我介绍。
不去,不涉足（某处） If you keep off a street or piece of land, you do not step on it or go there.&
Locking up men does nothing more than keep them off the streets...
把这些人关起来只是做到了不让他们上街而已。
The local police had warned visitors to keep off the beach at night.
当地警方告诫游客不要在夜间去海滩。
Off is also an adverb.
...a sign saying 'Keep Off'.
写着“请勿入内”的牌子
离（某地）不远；在…附近 If something is situated off a place such as a coast, room, or road, it is near to it or next to it, but not exactly in it.&
The boat was anchored off the northern coast of the peninsula...
这艘船停泊在离该半岛北部海岸不远的地方。
Lily lives in a penthouse just off Park Avenue...
莉莉住在公园大道附近的一套顶层豪华公寓里。
The Princess's sitting-room leads off the drawing room...
王妃的起居室挨着客厅。
离开 If you go off, you leave a place.&
【搭配模式】：ADV after v
He was just about to drive off when the secretary came running out...
他正打算驾车离开，这时秘书跑了出来。
She gave a hurried wave and set off across the grass...
她匆匆地挥了挥手便穿过草地离开了。
She was off again. Last year she had been to Kenya. This year it was Goa...
她又走了，去年去了肯尼亚，今年则是果阿。
（用于非正式及有时具冒犯性的短语动词）（走）开，（滚）开 Off is used in a number of informal and sometimes offensive phrasal verbs, such as buzz off ,clear off, or in British English bugger off, which are used to tell someone angrily to go away.&
【搭配模式】：ADV after v
（脱）掉（衣服）；（取）下（首饰） When you take off clothing or jewellery that you are wearing, you remove it from your body.&
【搭配模式】：ADV after v
He took off his spectacles and rubbed frantically at the lens...
他摘下眼镜，疯狂地擦着镜片。
He hastily stripped off his old uniform and began pulling on the new one.
他匆匆地脱下旧制服，开始穿上新的那件。
（因生病、放假等等）休息，不工作 If you have time off or a particular day off, you do not go to work or school, for example because you are ill or it is a day when you do not usually work.&
【搭配模式】：usu n ADV
The rest of the men had the day off...
其他人这天没上班。
You can even snatch a few hours off, and perhaps negotiate the occasional night off too...
你甚至可以抽空休息几小时，商量一下的话没准还能偶尔不用上晚班。
She was sacked for demanding Saturdays off...
她因为要求星期六不上班而被解雇了。
Off is also a preposition.
He could not get time off work to go on holiday.
他工作很忙，抽不出时间去度假。
避开（某话题） If you keep off a subject, you deliberately avoid talking about it.&
Keep off the subject of politics...
勿谈政治。
Keep the conversation off linguistic matters.
避谈语言学问题。
取消；中止 If something such as an agreement or a sporting event is off, it is cancelled.&
【搭配模式】：be ADV
Until Pointon is completely happy, however, the deal's off...
但是，在波因顿完全满意之前，这一协议不再作数。
The vacant W.B.C. junior-lightweight title has been called off...
空缺的世界拳击理事会次轻量级头衔被取消了。
Greenpeace refused to call off the event.
绿色和平组织拒绝取消这一活动。
停服，停用（药物等）；戒… If someone is off something harmful such as a drug, they have stopped taking or using it.&
She felt better and the psychiatrist took her off drug therapy...
她感觉好些了，那位精神科医生让她停止了药物治疗。
Most pregnant women remain off cigarettes while carrying the child.
大多数孕妇都在孕期戒了烟。
不再喜欢；不再想 If you are off something, you have stopped liking it.&
I'm off coffee at the moment...
我眼下不再嗜咖啡了。
Diarrhoea can make you feel weak, as well as putting you off your food.
腹泻会让人感到乏力，而且没有胃口。
（机器、电灯等）关掉，停掉，不再运转 When something such as a machine or electric light is off, it is not functioning or in use. When you switch it off, you stop it functioning.&
【搭配模式】：be ADV
As he pulled into the driveway, he saw her bedroom light was off...
当他把车开进车道时，他看到她卧室的灯已经熄了。
We used sail power and turned the engine off to save our fuel...
我们借助风帆的动力航行，且关掉了发动机以节省燃油。
The microphones had been switched off.
这些麦克风已关掉。
（价格）减掉，降低 If there is money off something, its price is reduced by the amount specified.&
【搭配模式】：amount PREP n
...Simons Leatherwear, 37 Old Christchurch Road. 20 per cent off all jackets this Saturday.
本周六老基督堂路37号的西蒙斯皮衣店所有夹克降价20％。
...discounts offering thousands of pounds off the normal price of a car.
比平时车价低几千英镑的折扣
Off is also an adverb.
I'm prepared to knock five hundred pounds off but no more.
我做好了降500英镑的打算，但不会再低了。
（空间上）离，距 If something is a long way off, it is a long distance away from you.&
【搭配模式】：n/amount ADV
Florida was a long way off...
佛罗里达离这儿很远。
...animals that from a long way off look like flies...
远看像苍蝇的动物
Below you, though still 50 miles off, is the most treeless stretch of land imaginable.
就在你下方，不过是在50英里开外的，是一片你能想象到的最荒凉的不毛之地。
（时间上）离，距 If something is a long time off, it will not happen for a long time.&
【搭配模式】：n/amount ADV
An end to the crisis seems a long way off...
这场危机看来远未结束。
The required technology is probably still two years off.
所需技术可能还要两年才能开发出来。
从…（获得） If you get something off someone, you obtain it from them.&
【STYLE标签】：SPOKEN 口语
I don't really get a lot of information, and if I do I get it off Mark...
我得到的信息其实不多，即使有也是马克告诉我的。
I can't find the boys' shampoo. I can't think where I put it when I took it off them...
我找不到那帮家伙的洗发水了，从他们那里拿来后我就忘了搁在什么地方。
'Telmex' was bought off the government by a group of investors.
一批投资商从政府手中买下墨西哥电信公司。
COMB in ADJ-GRADED
（与well,badly,worse等副词连用构成形容词）表示“处于…境况的” Off combines with adverbs such as 'well', 'badly', and 'worse' to form adjectives that indicate how poor or rich someone is.&
Most of these people aren't very well off...
这些人大都不算太富裕。
Surely you can't be that badly off?...
你肯定没那么穷吧？
He's very comfortably off.
他生活相当宽裕安逸。
ADJ-GRADED
能被表示程度的副词或介词词组修饰的形容词
（食物）腐坏的，变质的，变味的 If food has gone off, it tastes and smells bad because it is no longer fresh enough to be eaten.&
【搭配模式】：v-link ADJ
【语域标签】：mainly BRIT 主英
Don't eat that! It's mouldy. It's gone off!
别吃那个！它已经发霉变质了！
in AM, usually use 美国英语通常用 spoiled
依靠（食物、钱等生存） If you live off a particular kind of food, you eat it in order to live. If you live off a particular source of money, you use it to live.&
【搭配模式】：v PREP n
Her husband's memories are of living off roast chicken and drinking whisky...
她丈夫只记得过去吃烤鸡、喝威士忌的日子。
Antony had been living off the sale of his own paintings.
安东尼一直靠卖自己的画为生。
（机器）靠（某种燃料或动力运转） If a machine runs off a particular kind of fuel or power, it uses that power in order to function.&
【搭配模式】：v PREP n
The Auto Compact Disc Cleaner can run off batteries or mains.
这种光盘自动清洗机可用电池或电源两种方式驱动。
ADJ-GRADED
能被表示程度的副词或介词词组修饰的形容词
（行为）过头的，不当的，无法接受的 If you say that someone's behaviour is a bit off, you mean that you find it unacceptable or wrong.&
【搭配模式】：v-link adv ADJ
【STYLE标签】：INFORMAL 非正式
...coming home with make-up all over his clothes — it's a bit off isn't it...
衣服上到处沾着化妆品回到家——他这样有点过分了，是不是。
Some of the dialogue is slightly off.
部分对话有些不太得体。
偶尔；有时；断断续续地 If something happens on and off, or off and on, it happens occasionally, or only for part of a period of time, not in a regular or continuous way.&
【搭配模式】：PHR after v
I was still working on and off as a waitress to support myself...
我为了糊口仍然间或去做服务员。
We lived together, off and on, for two years.
我们断断续续在一起生活了两年。
1. (表示位置)在…的外面, 在…的沿海
The boat anchored off the fort.
那艘船停在堡垒外面。
The ship sank off the south coast of the island.
那艘船在岛的南岸沿海沉没。
2. (表示时间)在…之前
It is a few minutes off three o'clock.
还有几分钟就三点了。
3. (表示方向)从…, 通向, 偏离, 从…离开
He fell off the ladder.
他从梯子上掉下来。
The kitchen's off the dining room.
厨房通向餐厅。
We are going off the subject.
我们正偏离正题。
He was off his seat.
他离开他的位子。
4. (表示比较)低于, 不及
They are selling the bikes off the market price.
他们按低于市价卖出自行车。
5. (表示否定)不想，戒除
He is off tea.
他不想喝茶。
She's off work with a bad cold.
她因患重感冒而不上班。
6. (表示来源)从…
He borrowed a pound off me.
他借我一英镑。
7. (表示依附)依靠
This bear feeds off the leaves of the tree.
这只熊依靠这棵树的树叶生存。
8. 从…去掉；从…移开
9. 下班；休息
10. 偏离…价格；削价；杀价
They drove off.
他们开车离开了。
He's had his beard shaved off.
他把胡子剃掉了。
3. 未连接；不工作
The radio is off.
录音机是关着的。
His money was off yesterday.
昨天他的钱用完了。
We are off one day.
我们休息一天。
6. 不再会发生；被取消
7. ( 食谱中的项目) 没有；不再供应
8. 减价的；削价的
9. 在剧院舞台的后面（或旁边）
10. （用以表示除去了某物）
1. 休息的; 闲散的; 安静的
The winter is an off season.
冬天是淡季。
2. 不新鲜的
This fish has gone off.
这条鱼已不新鲜。
3. 不礼貌；不热情；冷淡
4. 不能接受；难于容忍；不行
5. 关着的；停着的；停止流通的
6. 不再举行的，延期的；不再生效的；取消的
7. 不工作的，休息的；(时间)空闲的
8. 低于标准的；不如平常的；不活跃的；安静的
2. 关闭(或断开、取消)状态
3. (赛马的)开始
1. 离开!站开!滚蛋!
1. [用于祈使句]走开，滚开；站开
1. not in oper
"the oven is off"
"the lights are off"
"an off year for tennis"
"his performance was off"
3. (of events) no longer
"the wedding is definitely off"
"sour milk"
5. not performing or
"He's off every Tuesday"
"he was off duty when it happened"
"an off-duty policeman"
1. from a particular thing or place or position (`forth' is obsolete);
"ran away from the lion"
"wanted to get away from there"
"sent the children away to boarding school"
"the teacher waved the children away from the dead animal"
"went off to school"
"they drove off"
"go forth and preach"
2. at a dista
"the boat was 5 miles off (or away)"
"the party is still 2 weeks off (or away)"
"away back in the 18th century"
3. no longer on or in
"clean off the dirt"
"he shaved off his mustache"
2.off-shore wind
沿岸地区, 由陆地吹向水域的风。
1.离轴全息术： off-axis holography
2.轴外象差： off-axis aberration： 离轴椭球面镜： off-axis ellipsoidal mirror
3.偏轴角： off-axis angle
4.离线分析： off-line analysis
5.非对角元： off-diagonal element
6.［偏］离共振加热： off-resonant heating
1.离线安全评估
2.off-line security assessment
3.场外应急计划
4.off-site emergency plan
off的全称：
未分类的(7)
办公室，诊所
off-the-film (camera metering system)
不要胶片(照相测量系统)
提供的，贡献的，出价的
政府官员，军官，警官，船长，军官，官员，职员
官方的，公务的，正式的；官员，行政人员
hit it off
1. 相处，处得很好，合得来
How are they hitting it off these days?
他们现在相处得怎么样？
They hit it off from the start.
他们从一开始就很合得来。
俚语类型：
2. 深受欢迎
He hit it off with the whole class.
他深受全班欢迎。
俚语类型：
jump off the deep end
1. 采取断然或激烈的行动
He jumped off the deep end and got married again.
他断然地采取了行动，并且再次结了婚。
俚语类型：
1. 放慢速度
Hey. back off a little. I don't get you.
喂，说慢一点，我听不淸。
俚语类型：
2. 把(某人)撵出门外(尤指在酒吧等公共场所)
The bouncer of hotel backed a drunkard off.
旅馆警卫把一名酒鬼撵出门外。
俚语类型：
get ones rocks off
1. (对某事物)十分感兴趣、有好感
I've listened to the stuff,but I sure don't get my rocks off on it.
我听过那东时，不过我实在对它很不感兴趣。
俚语类型：
2. (=get one's nut)激起性高潮,射精
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The air had chilled slightly, and Adrienne had lit a few candles around the kitchen to warm and light the space. Sitting at the table, she had put Mark’s letter back in the box with the note and the photograph. Amanda watched her soberly, her hands in her lap.“I’m sorry, Mom,” she said quietly. “For everything. For losing Paul, for having to live through that alone. I can’t imagine what it must have been like to keep all of that in-side.”“Neither can I,” Adrienne said. “There’s no way I could have made it without help.”Amanda shook her head. “But you did,” she whispered.“No,” Adrienne said. “I survived, but I didn’t do it alone.”Amanda looked puzzled. Adrienne offered her a melan-choly smile.“Grampa,” she finally said. “My daddy. That’s who Icried with. And I cried with him every day for weeks. Without him, I don’t know what I would have done.”“But.. .“ Amanda trailed off, and Adrienne went on for her.“But he couldn’t say anything?” Adrienne paused. “He didn’t have to, He listened, and that was what I needed. Besides, I knew there wasn’t anything he could have said that would have made the pain go away, even if he could speak.” She lifted her gaze. “You know that as well as I do.”Amanda pressed her lips together. “I wish you’d told me,” she said. “Before now, I mean.”“Because of Brent?”Amanda nodded.“I know you do, but you weren’t ready to hear it until now. You needed time to work through your grief in your own way, on your own terms.”For a long moment, Amanda said nothing.“It isn’t fair. You and Paul, me and Brent,” she whis-pered.“No, it isn’t.”“How were you able to go on after losing him like that?” Adrienne smiled wistfully. “I took things one day at a time. Isn’t that what they tell you to do? I know it sounds trite, but I used to wake up in the mornings and tell my-self that I only had to be strong for one day. Just one day. I did that over and over.”“You make it sound so simple,” Amanda whispered.“It wasn’t. It was the hardest time I ever went through.”“Even more than when Daddy left?”“That was hard, too, but this was different.” Adrienneflashed a quick smile. “You were the one who told me that, remember ?“Amanda looked away. Yes, she thought, I do. “I wish I’d had the chance to meet him.”“You would have liked him. In time, I mean. Back then, you might not have. You were still hoping that your dad and I would get back together.”Amanda’s hand went reflexively to the wedding band she still wore, and she twisted it around her finger, her face a mask.“You’ve lost a lot in your life.”“Yes, I have.”“But you seem so happy now.”“I am.”“How can you be?”Adrienne brought her hands together. “When I think of losing Paul or the years that might have been, of course it makes me sad. It did then, and it still does now. But you have to understand something else, too: As hard as it was, as terrible and unfair as the way things turned out, I wouldn’t have traded the few days I spent with him for any-thing.”She paused, making sure her daughter understood that. “In Mark’s letter, he said that I saved Paul from himself. But if Mark had asked me, I would have said that we’d saved each other, or that he’d saved me. Had I never met him, I doubt I ever would have forgiven Jack, and I wouldn’t have been the mother or grandmother I am now. Because of him, I came back to Rocky Mount knowing that I was going to be okay, that things would work out, that nomatter what, I’d make it. And the year we spent writing each other gave me the strength I needed when I finally learned what had happened to him. Yes, I was devastated by losing him, but if somehow I could go back in time— this time knowing what would happen in advance—I still would have wanted him to go because of his son. He needed to make things right with Mark. His son needed him—had always needed him. And it wasn’t too late.”Amanda looked away, knowing she was talking about Max and Greg as well.“That’s why I told you this story from the beginning,” Adrienne went on. “Not just because I’d been through what you’re living through now, but because I wanted you to understand how important his relationship with his son was. And what it meant for Mark to know that. Those are wounds that are difficult to heal, and I don’t want you to have any more wounds than you already have now.”Adrienne reached across the table and took her daugh-ter’s hand, “I know you’re still hurting about Brent, and there’s nothing I can do to help you with that. But if Brent were here, he would tell you to concentrate on your kids, not on his death. He would want you to remember the good moments, not the bad ones. And above all, he would want to know that you’re going to be okay, too.”“I know all that—”Adrienne cut her off with a gentle squeeze, not letting her finish. “You’re stronger than you think you are,” she went on, “but only if you want to be.”“It’s not that easy.”“Of course it isn’t, but you have to understand that I’mnot talking about your emotions. Those you can’t control. You’re still going to cry, you’re still going to have moments when you don’t feel you can go on. But you have to act as if you can. At a time like this, actions are just about the only things you can control.” She paused. “Your children need you, Amanda. I don’t think there’s ever been a time when they needed you more. But lately, you haven’t been there for them. I know you’re hurting, and I hurt for you, but you’re a mom now, and you can’t keep going like this. Brent wouldn’t have wanted it, and your children are pay-ing the price.”As Adrienne finished, Amanda seemed to be studying the table. But then, almost as if moving in slow motion, she raised her head and looked up.As much as she wished otherwise, Adrienne had no idea what Amanda was thinking.Dan was folding the last of the towels in the basket while watching ESPN when Amanda returned home. The clothes had been sorted into piles on the coffee table. Dan automatically reached for the remote to turn down the vol-ume.“I was wondering when you were going to make it back,” he said.“Oh, hey,” Amanda said, looking around. “Where are the boys?”Dan motioned with his head as he added a green towelto the stack, “They just got into bed a few minutes ago. They’re probably still awake if you want to say good night.”“Where are your kids?”“I dropped them off with Kira on our way home. Just to let you know, Max dripped some pizza sauce on his Scooby-Doo shirt. I guess it’s one of his favorites, because he got pretty upset about it. I’ve got it soaking in the sink now, but I couldn’t find the stain remover.”Amanda nodded. “I’ll get some this weekend. I’ve got to go shopping anyway. I’m out of other things, too.”Dan looked at his sister. “If you make a list, Kira could pick up what you need. I know she’s going to the store.”“Thanks for the offer, but it’s time I start doing that for myself again.”“Okay . . .“ He smiled uncertainly. For a moment, nei-ther he nor his sister said anything.“Thanks for taking the boys out,” Amanda said finally.Dan shrugged. “No big deal. We were going out anyway, and I figured they might enjoy it.”Amanda’s voice was earnest, “No. I mean, thank you for all the times you’ve done that lately. Not just tonight. You and Matt have been great since . . . since I lost Brent, and I don’t know if I’ve let you know how much I appreciate that.”Dan looked away at the mention of Brent’s name. He reached for the empty laundry basket.“What are uncles for, right?” He shifted from one foot to the other, holding the basket in front of him. “Would you like me to swing by for the boys again tomorrow? I was thinking of going on a bike ride with the kids.”Amanda shook her head. “Thanks, but I think I’ll pass.” Dan looked at her, his expression dubious, Amandadidn’t seem to notice. She slipped off her jacket and set it on the chair along with her purse. “I talked to Mom for quite a while tonight.”“Oh? How’d it go?”“You wouldn’t believe half of it if I told you.”“What did she say?”“You had to be there. But I learned something about her tonight.”Dan cocked an eyebrow, waiting.“She’s tougher than she looks,” Amanda said.Dan laughed. “Yeah, sure, she’s tough all right. She cries when the goldfish die.”“That may be true, but in a lot of ways, I wish I could be as strong as she is.”“I’ll bet.”When Dan saw his sister’s serious expression, he sud-denly realized no punch line was coming. His brow fur-rowed.“Wait,” he said. “Our mom?”Dan left a few minutes later, and despite his attempts to find out what their mother had told Amanda, she had re-fused to tell him. She understood the reasons for her mother’s silence, both in the past and in the years since, and knew her mother would tell Dan when or if she had reason to do so.Amanda locked the door behind Dan and looked around the living room. In addition to folding the clothes, he’ she remembered that before she’d left, there were videos strewn near the television, a pile of empty cups on the end table, a year’s worth of magazines stacked haphazardly on the desk by the door.Dan had taken care of everything. Again.Amanda turned out the lights, thinking of Brent, think-ing of the last eight months, thinking of her children. Greg and Max shared a bedroom at the mas-ter bedroom was at the opposite end. Lately the distance had seemed too far to travel at the end of the day. Before Brent had passed away, she’d helped the boys say their prayers and read to them from small books with colorful drawings before pulling up the covers to their chins.Tonight, her brother had done that for her. Last night, no one had done it at all.Amanda headed upstairs. The house was dark, the upper hallway shadowed and black. At the top of the steps, she heard the broken whispers of her sons. She went down the corridor and paused in the doorway of their room, peekingin.They slept in twin beds, their comforters decorated with din toys were scattered between the beds. A night-light glowed from the outlet near the closet, and in the silence, she saw again how much both boys re-sembled their father.They’d stopped moving. Knowing she was watching them, they wanted her to think they were asleep, as if find-ing security by hiding from their mother.The floor squeaked beneath her weight. Max seemed to be holding his breath. Greg peeked at her, then snapped his eyelids shut as Amanda sat beside him. Leaning over, she kissed him on the cheek and ran a gentle hand through his hair.“Hey,” she whispered. “Are you sleeping?”“Yes,” he said.Amanda smiled. “Do you want to sleep with Mommy tonight? In the big bed?” she whispered.It seemed to take a moment before Greg understood what she’d said. “With you?”“Yeah.”“Okay,” he said, and Amanda kissed him again, watch-ing as he sat up. She moved to Max’s bed. His hair glittered gold in the light from the window, looking like Christmas tinsel.“Hey, sweetie.”Max swallowed, his eyes closed. “Can I come, too?”“If you want to.”“Okay,” he said.Amanda smiled as they got up, but when they started to-ward the door, Amanda pulled them back, embracing them both, They smelled like little boys: dirt and sweet grass, in-nocence itself.“How about if tomorrow we go to the park, and later we can get some ice cream,” she said.“Can we fly our kites?” Max asked.Amanda squeezed them tighter, closing her eyes.“All day long. And the next day, too, if you want to.”
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You’re the first boy I’ve ever kissed,” she said to me.  It was a few days before the new year, and Jamie and I were standing at the Iron Steamer Pier in Pine Knoll Shores. To get there, we’d had to cross the bridge that spans the Intracoastal Waterway and drive a little way down the island.  Nowadays the place has some of the most expensive beachfront property in the entire state, but back then it was mainly sand dunes nestled against the Maritime National Forest. “I figured I might have been,” I said. “Why?” she asked innocently. “Did I do it wrong?” She didn’t look like she’d be too upset if I’d said yes, but it wouldn’t have been the truth.  “You’re a great kisser,” I said, giving her hand a squeeze.  She nodded and turned toward the ocean, her eyes getting that far-off look again. She’d been doing that a lot lately. I let it go on for a while before the silence sort of got to me. “Are you okay, Jamie?” I finally asked. Instead of answering, she changed the subject. “Have you ever been in love?” she asked me. I ran my hand through my hair and gave her one of those looks. “You mean before now?” I said it like James Dean would have, the way Eric had told me to say it if a girl ever asked me that question. Eric was pretty slick with girls.  “I’m serious, Landon,” she said, tossing me a sidelong glance.  I guess Jamie had seen those movies, too. With Jamie, I’d come to realize, I always seemed to be going from high to low and back to high again in less time than it takes to swat a mosquito. I wasn’t quite sure if I liked that part of our relationship yet, though to be honest, it kept me on my toes. I was still feeling off balance as I thought about her question.  “Actually, I have,” I said finally. Her eyes were still fixed on the ocean. I think she thought I was talking about Angela, but looking back, I’d realized that what I’d felt for Angela was totally different from what I was feeling right now. “How did you know it was love?” she asked me. I watched the breeze gently moving her hair, and I knew that it was no time to pretend I was something that I actually wasn’t. “Well,” I said seriously, “you know it’s love when all you want to do is spend time with the other person, and you sort of know that the other person feels the same way.” Jamie thought about my answer before smiling faintly.  “I see,” she said softly. I waited for her to add something else, but she didn’t, and I came to another sudden realization. Jamie may not have been all that experienced with boys, but to tell you the truth, she was playing me like a harp. During the next two days, for instance, she wore her hair in a bun again. On New Year’s Eve I took Jamie out to dinner. It was the very first real date she’d ever been on, and we went to a small waterfront restaurant in Morehead City, a place called Flauvin’s. Flauvin’s was the kind of restaurant with tablecloths and candles and five different pieces of silverware per setting. The waiters wore black and white, like butlers, and when you looked out the giant windows that completely lined the wall, you could watch moonlight reflecting off the slowly moving water. There was a pianist and a singer, too, not every night or even every weekend, but on holidays when they thought the place would be full. I had to make reservations, and the first time I called they said they were filled, but I had my mom call them, and the next thing you knew, something had opened up. I guess the owner needed a favor from my father or something, or maybe he just didn’t want to make him angry, knowing that my grandfather was still alive and all.  It was actually my mom’s idea to take Jamie out someplace special. A couple of days before, on one of those days Jamie was wearing her hair in a bun, I talked to my mom about the things I was going through. “She’s all I think about, Mom,” I confessed. “I mean, I know she likes me, but I don’t know if she feels the same way that I do.” “Does she mean that much to you?” she asked. “Yes,” I said quietly. “Well, what have you tried so far?” “What do you mean?” My mom smiled. “I mean that young girls, even Jamie, like to be made to feel special.” I thought about that for a moment, a little confused. Wasn’t that what I was trying to do? “Well, I’ve been going to her house every day to visit,” I said.  My mom put her hand on my knee. Even though she wasn’t a great homemaker and sometimes stuck it to me, like I said earlier, she really was a sweet lady.  “Going to her house is a nice thing to do, but it’s not the most romantic thing there is. You should do something that will really let her know how you feel about her.” My mom suggested buying some perfume, and though I knew that Jamie would probably be happy to receive it, it didn’t sound right to me. For one thing, since Hegbert didn’t allow her to wear makeup-with the single exception being the Christmas play-I was sure she couldn’t wear perfume. I told my mom as much, and that was when she’d suggested taking her out to dinner.  “I don’t have any money left,” I said to her dejectedly. Though my family was wealthy and gave me an allowance, they never gave me more if I ran through it too quickly. “It builds responsibility,” my father said, explaining it once.  “What happened to your money in the bank?” I sighed, and my mom sat in silence while I explained what I had done. When I finished, a look of quiet satisfaction crossed her face, as if she, too, knew I was finally growing up. “Let me worry about that,” she said softly. “You just find out if she’d like to go and if Reverend Sullivan will allow it. If she can, we’ll find a way to make it happen. I promise.” The following day I went to the church. I knew that Hegbert would be in his office. I hadn’t asked Jamie yet because I figured she would need his permission, and for some reason I wanted to be the one who asked. I guess it had to do with the fact that Hegbert hadn’t exactly been welcoming me with open arms when I visited. Whenever he’d see me coming up the walkway-like Jamie, he had a sixth sense about it-he’d peek out the curtains, then quickly pull his head back behind them, thinking that I hadn’t seen him. When I knocked, it would take a long time for him to answer the door, as if he had to come from the kitchen.  He’d look at me for a long moment, then sigh deeply and shake his head before finally saying hello. His door was partially open, and I saw him sitting behind his desk, spectacles propped on his nose. He was looking over some papers-they looked almost financial-and I figured he was trying to figure out the church budget for the following year. Even ministers had bills to pay. I knocked at the door, and he looked up with interest, as if he expected another member of the congregation, then furrowed his brow when he saw that it was me.  “Hello, Reverend Sullivan,” I said politely. “Do you have a moment?” He looked even more tired than usual, and I assumed he wasn’t feeling well. “Hello, Landon,” he said wearily. I’d dressed sharply for the occasion, by the way, with a jacket and tie. “May I come in?” He nodded slightly, and I entered the office. He motioned for me to sit in the chair across from his desk. “What can I do for you?” he asked. I adjusted myself nervously in the chair. “Well, sir, I wanted to ask you something.” He stared at me, studying me before he finally spoke. “Does it have to do with Jamie?” he asked. I took a deep breath. “Yes, sir. I wanted to ask if it would be all right with you if I took her to dinner on New Year’s Eve.” He sighed. “Is that all?” he said. “Yes, sir,” I said. “I’ll bring her home any time you’d need me to.” He took off his spectacles and wiped them with his handkerchief before putting them back on. I could tell he was taking a moment to think about it.  “Will your parents be joining you?” he asked. “No, sir.” “Then I don’t think that will be possible. But thank you for asking my permission first.” He looked down at the papers, making it clear it was time for me to leave. I stood from my chair and started toward the door. As I was about to go, I faced him again. “Reverend Sullivan?” He looked up, surprised I was still there. “I’m sorry for those things I used to do when I was younger, and I’m sorry that I didn’t always treat Jamie the way she should have been treated. But from now on, things will change. I promise you that.” He seemed to look right through me. It wasn’t enough.  “I love her,” I said finally, and when I said it, his attention focused on me again. “I know you do,” he answered sadly, “but I don’t want to see her hurt.” Even though I must have been imagining it, I thought I saw his eyes begin to water. “I wouldn’t do that to her,” I said. He turned from me and looked out the window, watching as the winter sun tried to force its way through the clouds. It was a gray day, cold and bitter.  “Have her home by ten,” he finally said, as though he knew he’d made the wrong decision. I smiled and wanted to thank him, though I didn’t. I could tell that he wanted to be alone. When I glanced over my shoulder on my way out the door, I was puzzled to see his face in his hands. I asked Jamie an hour later. The first thing she said was that she didn’t think she could go, but I told her that I’d already spoken to her father. She seemed surprised, and I think it had an effect on how she viewed me after that. The one thing I didn’t tell her was that it looked almost as though Hegbert had been crying as I’d made my way out the door. Not only didn’t I understand it completely, I didn’t want her to worry. That night, though, after talking to my mom again, she provided me with a possible explanation, and to be honest, it made perfect sense to me. Hegbert must have come to the realization that his daughter was growing up and that he was slowly losing her to me. In a way, I hoped that was true. I picked her up right on schedule. Though I hadn’t asked her to wear her hair down, she’d done it for me. Silently we drove over the bridge, down the waterfront to the restaurant. When we got to the hostess stand, the owner himself appeared and walked us to our table. It was one of the better ones in the place. It was crowded by the time we arrived, and all around us people were enjoying themselves. On New Year’s people dressed fashionably, and we were the only two teenagers in the place. I didn’t think we looked too out of place, though.  Jamie had never been to Flauvin’s before, and it took her just a few minutes to take it all in. She seemed nervously happy, and I knew right away that my mom had made the right suggestion. “This is wonderful,” she said to me. “Thank you for asking me.” “My pleasure,” I said sincerely. “Have you been here before?” “A few times. My mother and father like to come here sometimes when my father comes home from Washington.” She looked out the window and stared at a boat that was passing by the restaurant, its lights blazing. For a moment she seemed lost in wonder. “It’s beautiful here,” she said. “So are you,” I answered. Jamie blushed. “You don’t mean that.” “Yes,” I said quietly, “I do.” We held hands while we waited for dinner, and Jamie and I talked about some of the things that had happened in the past few months. She laughed when we talked about the homecoming dance, and I finally admitted the reason I’d asked her in the first place. She was a good sport about it-she sort of laughed it off cheerfully-and I knew that she’d already figured it out on her own.  “Would you want to take me again?” she teased. “Absolutely.” Dinner was delicious-we both ordered the sea bass and salads, and when the waiter finally removed our plates, the music started up. We had an hour left before I had to take her home, and I offered her my hand.  At first we were the only ones on the floor, everyone watching us as we glided around the floor. I think they all knew how we were feeling about each other, and it reminded them of when they were young, too. I could see them smiling wistfully at us. The lights were dim, and when the singer began a slow melody, I held her close to me with my eyes closed, wondering if anything in my life had ever been this perfect and knowing at the same time that it hadn’t.  I was in love, and the feeling was even more wonderful than I ever imagined it could be. After New Year’s we spent the next week and a half together, doing the things that young couples did back then, though from time to time she seemed tired and listless. We spent time down by the Neuse River, tossing stones in the water, watching the ripples while we talked, or we went to the beach near Fort Macon.  Even though it was winter, the ocean the color of iron, it was something that both of us enjoyed doing. After an hour or so Jamie would ask me to take her home, and we’d hold hands in the car. Sometimes, it seemed, she would almost nod off before we even got home, while other times she would keep up a stream of chatter all the way back so that I could barely get a word in edgewise.  Of course, spending time with Jamie also meant doing the things she enjoyed as well. Though I wouldn’t go to her Bible study class-I didn’t want to look like an idiot in front of her-we did visit the orphanage twice more, and each time we went there, I felt more at home. Once, though, we’d had to leave early, because she was running a slight fever. Even to my untrained eyes, it was clear that her face was flushed. We kissed again, too, though not every time we were together, and I didn’t even think of trying to make it to second base. There wasn’t any need to. There was something nice when I kissed her, something gentle and right, and that was enough for me. The more I did it, the more I realized that Jamie had been misunderstood her entire life, not only by me, but by everyone.  Jamie wasn’t simply the minister’s daughter, someone who read the Bible and did her best to help others. Jamie was also a seventeen-year-old girl with the same hopes and doubts that I had. At least, that’s what I assumed, until she finally told me. I’ll never forget that day because of how quiet she had been, and I had the funny feeling all day long that something important was on her mind.  I was walking her home from Cecil’s Diner on the Saturday before school started up again, a day blustery with a fierce, biting wind. A nor’easter had been blowing in since the previous morning, and while we walked, we’d had to stand close to each other to stay warm. Jamie had her arm looped through mine, and we were walking slowly, even more slowly than usual, and I could tell she wasn’t feeling well again. She hadn’t really wanted to go with me because of the weather, but I’d asked her because of my friends. It was time, I remember thinking, that they finally knew about us. The only problem, as fate would have it, was that no one else was at Cecil’s Diner. As with many coastal communities, things were quiet on the waterfront in the middle of winter. She was quiet as we walked, and I knew that she was thinking of a way to tell me something. I didn’t expect her to start the conversation as she did.  “People think I’m strange, don’t they,” she finally said, breaking the silence. “Who do you mean?” I asked, even though I knew the answer. “People at school.” “No, they don’t,” I lied. I kissed her cheek as I squeezed her arm a little tighter to me. She winced, and I could tell that I’d hurt her somehow. “Are you okay?” I asked, concerned. “I’m fine,” she said, regaining her composure and keeping the subject on track. “Will you do me a favor, though?” “Anything,” I said. “Will you promise to tell me the truth from now on? I mean always?” “Sure,” I said. She stopped me suddenly and looked right at me. “Are you lying to me right now?” “No,” I said defensively, wondering where this was going. “I promise that from now on, I’ll always tell you the truth.” Somehow, when I said it, I knew that I’d come to regret it.  We started walking again. As we moved down the street, I glanced at her hand, which was looped through mine, and I saw a large bruise just below her ring finger. I had no idea where it had come from, since it hadn’t been there the day before. For a second I thought it might have been caused by me, but then I realized that I hadn’t even touched her there. “People think I’m strange, don’t they?” she asked again. My breath was coming out in little puffs. “Yes,” I finally answered. It hurt me to say it. “Why?” She looked almost despondent. I thought about it. “People have different reasons,” I said vaguely, doing my best not to go any further. “But why, exactly? Is it because of my father? Or is it because I try to be nice to people?” I didn’t want anything to do with this. “I suppose,” was all I could say. I felt a little queasy. Jamie seemed disheartened, and we walked a little farther in silence. “Do you think I’m strange, too?” she asked me. The way she said it made me ache more than I thought it would. We were almost at her house before I stopped her and held her close to me. I kissed her, and when we pulled apart, she looked down at the ground. I put my finger beneath her chin, lifting her head up and making her look at me again. “You’re a wonderful person, Jamie. You’re beautiful, you’re kind, you’re gentle . . . you’re everything that I’d like to be. If people don’t like you, or they think you’re strange, then that’s their problem.” In the grayish glow of a cold winter day, I could see her lower lip begin to tremble. Mine was doing the same thing, and I suddenly realized that my heart was speeding up as well. I looked in her eyes, smiling with all the feeling I could muster, knowing that I couldn’t keep the words inside any longer.  “I love you, Jamie,” I said to her. “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me.” It was the first time I’d ever said the words to another person besides a member of my immediate family. When I’d imagined saying it to someone else, I’d somehow thought it would be hard, but it wasn’t. I’d never been more sure of anything.  As soon as I said the words, though, Jamie bowed her head and started to cry, leaning her body into mine. I wrapped my arms around her, wondering what was wrong. She was thin, and I realized for the first time that my arms went all the way around her. She’d lost weight, even in the last week and a half, and I remembered that she’d barely touched her food earlier. She kept crying into my chest for what seemed like a long time. I wasn’t sure what to think, or even if she felt the same way I did. Even so, I didn’t regret the words. The truth is always the truth, and I’d just promised her that I would never lie again.  “Please don’t say that,” she said to me. “Please . . .” “But I do,” I said, thinking she didn’t believe me. She began to cry even harder. “I’m sorry,” she whispered to me through her ragged sobs. “I’m so, so sorry. . . .” My throat suddenly went dry. “Why’re you sorry?” I asked, suddenly desperate to understand what was bothering her. “Is it because of my friends and what they’ll say? I don’t care anymore-I really don’t.” I was reaching for anything, confused and, yes-scared.  It took another long moment for her to stop crying, and in time she looked up at me. She kissed me gently, almost like the breath of a passerby on a city street, then ran her finger over my cheek. “You can’t be in love with me, Landon,” she said through red and swollen eyes. “We can be friends, we can see each other . . . but youcan’t love me.” “Why not?” I shouted hoarsely, not understanding any of this. “Because,” she finally said softly, “I’m very sick, Landon.” The concept was so absolutely foreign that I couldn’t comprehend what she was trying to say. “So what? You’ll take a few days . . .” A sad smile crossed her face, and I knew right then what she was trying to tell me. Her eyes never left mine as she finally said the words that numbed my soul.  “I’m dying, Landon.”
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