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The Science Behind Heartbreak
Heartbreak is more than just to some the pain is very real. At one point or another, everyone must experience this mind numbing feeling (unless you confine yourself to a house and never interact with even a pet) but that's not the norm and you're probably not reading this article if you've had that kind of sheltered life.
can be caused by many different circumstances and that's what makes this emotion easily recognized by nearly every person on the planet. It can result from the loss of a loved one, a partner, a friend and even a close pet. Or it can be caused from disappointment, betrayal or a change from known surroundings. It might not even be a loss at all but a sense of loss, or the realization that the love of the person you care most for is drifting far from where it had always been. Love, in the same perspective as heartbreak, neither has a corrective definition nor specific amplitude implied by the physical word itself. There's a never-ending limit to the definition of love because there are so many things we love and in many different ways. There's friendship love, love for animals and possessions, love for music or hey, even food. Then there's that kind of& love that is so overwhelming perfect, passionate and meaningful, a love that you have never before been able to achieve. This is the love we're going to be talking about throughout this article, but before we can continue on, we must first understand why we as humans are constantly searching to fulfill this emotion. Photo by Me! Isn't it cool?A part of the desire comes from what we find most joyful in life. If you search for this answer, and look upon previous actions objectively, it's simple to say that we are satisfied by making others happy. We receive complete satisfaction from doing things for others, and this feeling increases with the intensity of love we feel towards that specific person or thing.& When you lose someone you love, you have lost the sense of purpose acquired by the relationship between them and yourself. You lose the purpose you felt when doing simple things to make them smile, and making yourself joyful in return. The cycle should continue endlessly, but as we know that could only occur in a perfect world, which this is not. Heartbreak happens, and it changes who we are for the better (in most cases) and so will it be for the rest of our lives and next."We of course equate the pain of loss to the intensity of the love, but that is not what is behind the pain. The more you love and feel loved, the greater the increase of your sense of purpose because when you do something for just anyone and they
your sense of purpose is not completely satisfied. It requires seeing who you are helping, and their appreciation to make it complete." says personal developer, David Samuel.Continuous searching comes from our need not only to self imply a purpose of being, but also to find the "one" that will make us feel needed, appreciated, and most importantly, well,& loved. We act in some silly ways just to be able to have a someone that we can call our own. We act crazy, we do stupid things, and we make regrettable mistakes, but hey, that's just falling in love. We start picturing the rest of days together, share every ounce of pointless information we can recall, and create a bond greater than ever perceived, all before a thought of those three little words comes to mind.Photo also by me, with help from Jen in creating the heart...
The Physical PainAnyone who's ever gone through the emotional pain of a heartbreak more often than not can express the experience through the form of some type of physical pain. Emotions affect physical health in more ways than many realize, but how does the body physically fee in other words, what is it that brings pain to the heartbreak?"Pain is the way the mind responds to trouble inside the body," says Alex Zautra, a professor of psychology at Arizona State University. "Emotion is the same way. Whether you feel love or sadness is also a response to something you feel outside the body. With pain it is a closer-in response, to something inside the body, but it is a response in an attempt to learn about and motivate recovery."The depression caused by heartbreak creates a barrier that can prevent us from feeling and experiencing life to the fullest, in all aspects. Symptoms vary byindividual and range from withdrawal from society tophysical sickness and pain. You lose a part of yourself when connections are lost, and its not far-fetched to say that you feel completely empty inside. There's an ache, a deep ache that erupts from the inside of our bodies longing for the past. The pain is real and there's no other way to describe how bad it really hurts than to name it heartbreak. Its a longing for the past and the pain of feeling completely empty and abandoned. It makes it hard to get up in the morning and to get through the day, but all wounds are inevitably healed through time, and thus you hope for the future to approach quicker.When a person feels secluded or feels loss, changes in the brain's blood flow occur. The anterior cingulate cortex (responsible for regulating physical pain distress) becomes more active during these times. This is seen in victims of
who also register physical pain due to the detection of nociception, which triggers a variety of responses, one which results in the experience of pain. People who are depressed or who are under extreme stress are more at risk to develop heart disease and other cardiovascular diseases based on research that found depression to help in thickening artery walls . Although most pain of heartbreak is not that severe, it still has a profound effect on daily living. Symptoms of breakup might include loss of appetite, insomnia,& headaches, stomachaches, nausea, a ton of tears, occasional nightmares, alcohol/substance abuse,& depression, eating disorders, panic attacks, loss of interest, fatigue, loneliness and hopelessness. The Stages of Heartbreak:Someone who is dealing with heartbreak follows patterns similar to those of the stages of death1.Shock and Denial- you may deny the real this provides emotional protection from feeling overwhelmed by the situation. The shock of loss allows a state of emptiness to move in, clouding most judgment.& 2.Pain and Guilt-after the shock wears off it becomes replaced with suffering and unbearable pain. Regret for things you did wrong, or things that you weren’t able to do with this person adds to further tears. Life feels chaotic during this time, and its best to openly discuss feelings and stray from bottling up your emotions3. Anger and Bargaining- lashing out is a common form of attempting to release all unspoken emotions. This is the stage where the “why why why?!” questioning comes in. The pleas for returned love run rapid, trying to bargain with fate or with the person who was just lost. 4. Depression, Reflection, and Loneliness- like everyone else in this situation, a period of sadness clouds andabsorb your entire sense of being, leaving feelings of emptiness. This feeling occurs when you finally realize and accept the magnitude of your loss. Isolation from people is exceedingly normal, and offers a time to reflect on the past. 5. Acceptance and an Upward Turn- The feelings of depression lift slightly and life becomes possible to survive without that person so deeply intertwined with each activity. The days are a little easier to shuffle through, and you see the possibility of continuation. The reality of the situation is fully accepted and, although happiness may not return for some time, the ability to move forward has occurred.Can Heartbreak Occur- Literally?According to studies on heartbreak and how it affects people, most of whom women, a connection can be found between emotional pain and a literal form of heartbreak- heart attack.& Depression is documented to affect its host physically and so is the case with heartbreak. The emotional stress is harmful and is said to possibly be cause for what's known as , cleverly laid out in the picture below. & Takotsubo Cardiomyopathy is a sudden temporary weakening of the myocardium, producing something similar to a heart attack. When the body becomes overwhelmed, primarily due to stress, hormones such as
metanephrine and normetanephrine are released in excess with addition to proteins such as neuropeptide Y, brain natriuretic peptide, and serotonin. &"Our hypothesis is that massive amounts of these stress hormones can go right to the heart and produce a stunning of the heart muscle that causes this temporary dysfunction resembling a heart attack," says cardiologist Ilan Wittstein, M.D., an assistant professor at The Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine and its Heart Institute. "It doesn't kill the heart muscle like a typical heart attack, but it renders it helpless."How to Mend A Broken HeartThe best thing for a broken heart is to be patient and allow time to settle all unresolved feelings. Talking about your feelings with friends or family help to smooth the passage of the loss, as will allowing yourself time to reflect on all feelings and answer questions you may have for yourself.& Keeping busy with hobbies you're passionate about and trying new things also keeps your mind busy during hard times. Get a group of friends together and watch a movie, or if you're more to yourself, try a quiet walk through a forest or even around the neighborhood. Give yourself time, and do things that make you happy. You are your own best friend and it's important that you accept who you are and like who you are as a person before you expect anyone else to.
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I can imagine teenagers coming to school with signed notes from their doctors saying they missed class because they were suffering from "Broken Heart Syndrome"...
| 11/18/08 | 15:10 PM
Anonymous (not verified) | 08/27/09 | 14:15 PM
Anonymous (not verified) | 09/12/11 | 02:23 AM
Anonymous (not verified) | 09/12/11 | 02:24 AM
Anonymous (not verified) | 08/20/12 | 22:49 PM
Rohoman (not verified) | 06/20/10 | 03:40 AM
Anonymous (not verified) | 10/13/11 | 07:54 AM
Anonymous (not verified) | 01/21/11 | 14:36 PM
Leila (not verified) | 02/13/11 | 04:33 AM
salma (not verified) | 08/16/12 | 04:04 AM
Anonymous (not verified) | 06/14/11 | 22:03 PM
Lori (not verified) | 07/05/11 | 03:27 AM
Anonymous (not verified) | 11/14/11 | 20:56 PM
Anonymous (not verified) | 11/24/11 | 19:23 PM
Anonymous (not verified) | 01/05/12 | 13:14 PM
Anonymous (not verified) | 01/31/12 | 19:20 PM
anonoymous (not verified) | 04/17/12 | 21:13 PM
You're young and there's many things that will happen in your life, good and bad.& Believe it or not, this isn't the only person that will ever have an impact on you, nor that will connect with you emotionally.You're still finding yourself.& I know that sounds cliche, but at 14, you still haven't experienced even the most rudimentary elements of being alive as an adult.& Until that happens, you don't even know all the changes that you're going to deal with, and you certainly won't be the same person in ten years that you are now.& That may seem like an eternity, but believe me, it will pass faster than you realize and you will look back on this as an event in your past, but I will GUARANTEE that it won't hold the same significance for you then as it does now.Part of the problem is that we don't really want that to happen [letting go and getting over things].& We want things to happen when we want them [and we want them to only be positive experiences], so there's a reluctance to let go and that tends to prolong our misery.& The reason time "heals", is because it takes too much energy to stay miserable.& Eventually your body and mind just simply give up and you eventually move on.& It's ultimately how we establish a perspective on the events in our lives.
Mundus vult decipi
| 04/17/12 | 21:23 PM
I'm going to do what I should've done before.& I am tired of putting up with crap from smart-ass 14 year old kids, so this thread is gone.& If it returns, I will delete it again.& I am so done with such people.
Mundus vult decipi
| 04/22/12 | 22:56 PM
anonoymous (not verified) | 06/30/12 | 08:56 AM
JanefromCanada (not verified) | 10/10/12 | 20:31 PM
Thank you very much.& I appreciate the kind words.
Mundus vult decipi
| 10/10/12 | 20:37 PM
Anonymous (not verified) | 04/27/12 | 04:33 AM
anonoymous (not verified) | 04/27/12 | 21:03 PM
Anonymous (not verified) | 04/27/12 | 04:51 AM
genuis (not verified) | 05/31/12 | 11:19 AM
Homo sapien (not verified) | 06/30/12 | 08:36 AM
Anonymous (not verified) | 09/22/12 | 02:18 AM
Anonymous (not verified) | 05/21/12 | 14:39 PM
anonoymous (not verified) | 06/30/12 | 08:48 AM
flooshoo (not verified) | 10/10/12 | 08:55 AM
collegegirl (not verified) | 04/30/12 | 16:15 PM
Anonymous (not verified) | 05/07/12 | 17:23 PM
Anonymous (not verified) | 06/14/12 | 12:12 PM
Cris (not verified) | 08/02/12 | 12:59 PM
Anonymous (not verified) | 08/31/11 | 10:31 AM
Nancy Davis (not verified) | 04/12/12 | 10:24 AM
Anonymous (not verified) | 06/08/12 | 08:11 AM
Anonymous (not verified) | 07/07/12 | 09:30 AM
Anonymous (not verified) | 08/27/12 | 14:38 PM
I'm glad you don't have to do that at Universities, I can just leave when I'm feeling sad or whatnot. Otherwise, I would definitely be showing up with one right about now haha.
| 11/18/08 | 16:17 PM
Anonymous (not verified) | 11/01/10 | 22:24 PM
Anonymous (not verified) | 11/23/11 | 14:39 PM
That's incredibly selfish and self-indulgent.& Your crying "every waking hour", while there's a man and two young children in your life that you are basically lying to.& You need to get your head screwed on straight.
Mundus vult decipi
| 11/23/11 | 14:51 PM
Anonymous (not verified) | 11/23/11 | 15:32 PM
Sorry, but there is nothing "together" about a dysfunctional co-dependent relationship based on obsessing over an individual for 26 years.& You can go on about "love" or "songs", but that's just rubbish to rationalize an aberrant obsession with an individual that doesn't want to be with you.& It's what makes people become stalkers, so while you are certainly free to indulge yourself to whatever degree you like, with a masters in psyche, you should know better than to excuse it.Even the point about "things that should have been done differently" is a ridiculous assertion, since they easily could have been, but it is obvious that neither one of you had the patience to wait a few years and be together, which indicates that this isn't nearly as idyllic a scenario as you're portraying it.& I don't know what your personal situation is, and I certainly don't know why your husband agreed to such an arrangement, but it is certain that your children were never given the opportunity to make such a choice.& So while you may think that everything is quite normal and they are well-adjusted, I can assure you that if you're crying every day, that won't last very long.I maintain my original position.& Your choice is obsessive, abnormal and self-indulgent.
Mundus vult decipi
| 11/23/11 | 15:59 PM
Kumar s (not verified) | 12/08/11 | 07:44 AM
Obviously, if I don't buy into the idea that everyone that wants to indulge themselves in obsessive behavior is acting perfectly normal
and that no one should ever have to deal with disappointment.
Yes, by all means, lets indulge people so that after decades they still can't deal with their feelings and come to terms with reality.
That will really help.
So, despite your obviously limited vocabulary, perhaps you'd be so kind as to indicate what the desired response should be.
Perhaps in your infinite wisdom you can articulate why it is appropriate to desire someone that has no interest in you (especially after several decades).
Perhaps you can articulate why its appropriate to force other people to tolerate your indulgences and have to deal with their own feelings of inadequacy because you've subjected them to your selfishness rather than granting them priority in your life.
I'm interested in how all this wisdom should be manifest.
Please .... do tell.
Mundus vult decipi
| 12/08/11 | 11:57 AM
Anonymous (not verified) | 01/13/12 | 03:03 AM
Don't know why you're blaming Hank for any of this, but ....I don't know if you're the same individual that posted previously, so I'm not sure how to respond.& If you are the same individual, then let's stop with the "we've been in love the whole time" crap.& You're married to someone else with two children of your own.& It isn't a matter of feeling superior, it's a matter of doing what's right.& So, if you are the same individual that posted earlier, just consider that your husband and children have had to put up with your self-indulgent bullshit, because you haven't deemed them important enough to focus your attention on, since you're too busy indulging a fantasy.
Mundus vult decipi
| 01/13/12 | 14:31 PM
Anonymous (not verified) | 01/13/12 | 15:20 PM
Of course ... self-indulgence is always preferable to being able to articulate a position.& After all, "it's complicated" is always a good stand-by excuse when you have no other.Stop playing the hapless victim and take some responsibility for your choices.& There's nothing more annoying than someone that makes a choice and then whines about it for the rest of their lives.I do find it interesting that those with no argument invariably find it hilarious to posit all manner of ideas regarding a cowboy hat.& How pathetic can you get?& However, it does tend to lend me more credibility when it comes to recognizing horseshit when I see it.
Mundus vult decipi
| 01/13/12 | 15:59 PM
Bill (not verified) | 01/28/12 | 15:57 PM
My response has nothing to do with ego and everything to do with letting stupid comments go unanswered.Her loved ones all know about it and accept that it's just how things areI'm sure the irony has escaped you in how her loved ones "accept that it's just how things are", while you're excusing her behavior for the exact opposite reason.& Talk about convoluted logic.Perhaps you'd care to answer what her response should be if her loved ones didn't accept it?& Would that be enough to convince you?& Perhaps just having the respect for other people that they don't deserve to be treated as if they simply have to "accept that it's just how things are"?It's bullshit and it remains bullshit.& It's the typical attitude of where no one else should draw attention to how self-centered such behavior is and everyone should just accommodate it because "they can't control it".& Well, then they shouldn't drag others into it.& That would be the responsible and respectful thing to do....because you're one of those guys that NEEDS to have the final word and will never just drop it.... and that's just a feeble attempt at a preemptive strike to avoid getting called on your irrational position.&
Mundus vult decipi
| 01/28/12 | 16:11 PM
Anonymous (not verified) | 10/22/12 | 15:03 PM
Anonymous (not verified) | 02/20/12 | 15:24 PM
derek_potter (not verified) | 03/20/12 | 11:44 AM
Anonymous (not verified) | 01/12/12 | 19:57 PM
Elmine (not verified) | 05/16/12 | 03:36 AM
Anonymous (not verified) | 03/11/12 | 00:35 AM
Ninny (not verified) | 03/20/12 | 04:06 AM
Anonymous (not verified) | 03/20/12 | 09:58 AM
you just happen to send your vitriol on the day that my only parent has been given hours to live and is fighting for his life right now. Thank you for your kindness and understanding.What exactly is your problem?& Do you expect people to be mindreaders?& If you have an emotional issue, then don't post comments if you don't want responses.& No one has set out to hurt you, but they have responded according to the information YOU have provided and the responses YOU have made.So spare me this cheap shot at trying to make people feel guilty for the events in your life.& No one here is responsible for you current situation, and we are certainly not responsible nor reveling in the knowledge that someone close to you is dying.& Get over yourself.
Mundus vult decipi
| 03/20/12 | 16:25 PM
Anonymous (not verified) | 03/20/12 | 16:43 PM
You're the one that keeps insisting on posting your comments and expecting everyone to second-guess whatever emotions you may be feeling.& You're the one that is attempting to make people feel guilt at your situation [simply because you're expecting them to somehow temper their discussion based on your emotional state].Call me whatever names make you feel better.& However, your comments and attitude speak far more to the type of person you actually are, than the person you think you're portraying.& It would appear that my initial assessment is correct. You're self-indulgent and can't tolerate anyone that doesn't join your pity-party.Sympathy no, advice from people who have been there yes. You are not that, you are an idiotAh yes ... and now who's being judgmental?& You know far less about me and yet feel quite comfortable making your judgments.&
Mundus vult decipi
| 03/20/12 | 17:08 PM
Wolf (not verified) | 04/25/12 | 21:18 PM
Perhaps, but let's remember this is Science 2.0, not Dear Abby.
Mundus vult decipi
| 04/25/12 | 21:28 PM
Anonymous (not verified) | 11/18/08 | 19:49 PM
Michael Soto (not verified) | 12/14/08 | 11:50 AM
Anonymous (not verified) | 01/10/11 | 19:47 PM
Anonymous (not verified) | 02/29/12 | 15:39 PM
Max Sl (not verified) | 11/20/08 | 06:35 AM
I fit the description (not verified) | 11/21/08 | 23:47 PM
Anonymous (not verified) | 11/25/08 | 15:59 PM
Anonymous (not verified) | 03/14/11 | 06:08 AM
Anonymous (not verified) | 11/26/08 | 02:24 AM
I think we all have a good understanding on what you're feeling, and it's hard for me to follow my own advice at times like these, but it's really best if you move on. Trust me I've been doing the same thing, waiting and hoping they will show up and sweep you off your feet like in the movies, but sometimes you have to face reality. You're at a time in your life where so much change is going to happen, and if you continue to surround yourself with people of good quality, it will be easier to move on.
| 11/26/08 | 16:49 PM
Anonymous (not verified) | 11/30/09 | 20:48 PM
I agree that it is important to grieve and take the time to heal from whatever is hurting you.& However, I also think its important to be clear about what you're really feeling.& "im giving myself to my bday/valentines day and then i think im going to start getting myself out on the market again, bc i cant wait forever"Statements like this concern me because it doesn't sound as much like grief as it does having plans or expectations twarted.& While I don't know what you're really experiencing nor the circumstances surrounding it, I would be cautious about putting pressure on yourself to achieve results instead of taking the time to absorb what is happening to you.
When you're young it's often hard to see that it may not be the relationship we miss as much as it is the comfortable routines and predictability we had established.&
Mundus vult decipi
| 12/14/08 | 12:28 PM
Veronica (not verified) | 03/11/12 | 00:50 AM
Ninny (not verified) | 03/20/12 | 04:13 AM
Anonymous (not verified) | 12/15/08 | 12:14 PM
Anonymous (not verified) | 12/21/08 | 06:32 AM
I really enjoyed reading this blog! I was wondering if I could ask you a few questions for my interview source for a paper..
| 01/07/09 | 14:13 PM
Thanks guys for the great cooments and feedback! The only way to move on from any type of hardship is to accept that life moves on haha. Life is supposed to be fun! Dont let anyone change who you are and what you plan on doing in life, thats my last piece of advice. Nicole, feel free to email me at ashley Thanks!
| 01/08/09 | 17:54 PM
Anonymous (not verified) | 02/27/09 | 06:37 AM
Anonymous (not verified) | 04/13/10 | 20:33 PM
Louie (not verified) | 06/06/10 | 09:57 AM
Kik (not verified) | 01/31/11 | 22:54 PM
Anonymous | 03/24/09 | 02:49 AM
Anonymous (not verified) | 06/15/09 | 04:58 AM
Megakron (not verified) | 02/11/10 | 23:02 PM
regret (not verified) | 04/17/09 | 01:56 AM
Anonymous (not verified) | 04/24/09 | 13:45 PM
vish (not verified) | 04/27/09 | 10:24 AM
i dont know if i should feel ashamed about the fact that i seek solace in other people's misery. i guess knowing there are others out there who are going through the same emotions helps create a sense of bonding.Don't feel ashamed - it's hard enough to go through something like this, but if you feel like you're the only one it's even worse. Knowing others are going through it helps, as does knowing that others have gotten through it - there is a light at the end of the tunnel, no matter how dim. It's hard to believe it when you're mired in pain, but you will get through it.
| 04/29/09 | 10:53 AM
EricFD (not verified) | 06/19/10 | 13:19 PM
RC909 (not verified) | 07/21/10 | 21:07 PM
Anonymous (not verified) | 12/01/11 | 19:55 PM
You don't need to do any research.& If someone you've never met is asking for money, then something is wrong.& Nothing more sophisticated than that.& Even if one wanted to rationalize how such a request might be legitimate, you'd need to seriously question the motivation of the other individual regarding a relationship.& Are they driven by emotion or economics?As for the internet .... emotional relationships will definitely form, but what makes it more problematic, is that it becomes easier to indulge in a "fantasy" form of the relationship rather than seriously evaluating it on its own merits.& As a result, it becomes easier to fall in love with the idea of falling in love with an idealized person which can make managing such a relationship much more difficult.
Mundus vult decipi
| 12/01/11 | 20:44 PM
Ophelia (not verified) | 01/20/12 | 15:36 PM
Anonymous (not verified) | 02/29/12 | 20:15 PM
Anonymous (not verified) | 04/29/09 | 10:44 AM
Anonymous (not verified) | 05/31/09 | 23:46 PM
riya (not verified) | 06/01/09 | 15:05 PM
Clare Z (not verified) | 06/09/09 | 14:05 PM
RC (not verified) | 06/19/09 | 04:33 AM
chad (not verified) | 05/15/11 | 02:51 AM
JN (not verified) | 07/22/11 | 14:09 PM
I don't mean to minimize your feelings in this, but (as with other posters as well), are you even looking at what is being written?...he always used my computer......I was out working to pay the bills!...stole bits of my clothing and lingerie...living under my roof...the good clothes that I bought for him...he never had any money to help ME...eating my foodIn addition we have:He ended up moving into her one-bedroom tiny apartmentLet her dress him upI hope she kicks him out.OK ... I give up.& What is it that makes this guy anything but a parasite?& It simply seems like he's switched "hosts".& Now tell me again, what ever made him "Mr. Nice Guy"?It simply seems that many of these posts represent people that are in love with an idealized image rather than the "real" individual.& As a result, when a conflict occurs with the "real" person, they are still emotionally attached to the idealized image and can't let go.&
Mundus vult decipi
| 07/22/11 | 14:24 PM
Nancy (not verified) | 07/23/11 | 19:51 PM
Nancy (not verified) | 07/23/11 | 19:43 PM
Anonymous (not verified) | 09/21/11 | 00:25 AM
Anonymous (not verified) | 06/22/09 | 04:34 AM
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Cameron (not verified) | 02/02/11 | 02:42 AM
Anonymous (not verified) | 07/13/09 | 16:15 PM
sadsappysucker (not verified) | 08/09/09 | 21:56 PM
Riley (not verified) | 03/25/10 | 02:41 AM
Teresa (not verified) | 06/19/11 | 14:46 PM
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Anonymous (not verified) | 06/24/10 | 02:04 AM
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Anonymous (not verified) | 08/04/11 | 17:57 PM
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Anonymous (not verified) | 08/14/09 | 04:23 AM
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Anonymous (not verified) | 09/09/09 | 02:03 AM
Anonymous (not verified) | 09/14/09 | 17:10 PM
Anonymous (not verified) | 09/14/09 | 22:59 PM
(not verified) | 10/08/09 | 15:17 PM
The authors get paid for their work just like working people all over the world so you can't take it and use it as your own.
Links to articles here are always nice, of course, and good karma.
| 10/08/09 | 15:20 PM
Anonymous (not verified) | 10/16/09 | 11:51 AM
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vish (not verified) | 02/08/10 | 09:22 AM
eligh (not verified) | 02/16/10 | 23:16 PM
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the meaning of heartbreak (not verified) | 03/11/10 | 01:25 AM
JJ (not verified) | 03/21/10 | 10:11 AM
Riley (not verified) | 03/25/10 | 02:30 AM
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Heartbroken For Too Long (not verified) | 10/12/10 | 17:48 PM
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Nancy (not verified) | 02/27/11 | 18:46 PM
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Nancy (not verified) | 02/27/11 | 19:52 PM
Anonymous (not verified) | 12/12/11 | 11:29 AM
Julie (not verified) | 02/27/11 | 21:21 PM
Julie (not verified) | 03/05/11 | 16:32 PM
Nancy (not verified) | 03/05/11 | 19:34 PM
Anonymous (not verified) | 11/20/10 | 14:56 PM
Nancy (not verified) | 11/21/10 | 12:23 PM
Nancy (not verified) | 11/21/10 | 12:23 PM
Anonymous (not verified) | 12/22/10 | 17:51 PM
David Greene (not verified) | 03/13/11 | 22:23 PM
Nancy (not verified) | 03/14/11 | 08:20 AM
Kaitlyn (not verified) | 04/03/11 | 09:26 AM
Anonymous (not verified) | 09/19/11 | 15:29 PM
Anonymous (not verified) | 09/19/11 | 15:29 PM
Anonymous (not verified) | 09/19/11 | 15:31 PM
Anonymous (not verified) | 09/19/11 | 15:34 PM
Anonymous (not verified) | 04/03/11 | 11:40 AM
Joni (not verified) | 04/21/11 | 14:33 PM
Anonymous (not verified) | 08/22/11 | 07:16 AM
Kaitlyn (not verified) | 04/22/11 | 12:52 PM
Next week we will have a new article on the physiology of 'heartbreak' and recent efforts to treat it. &It should be good stuff.
| 04/22/11 | 13:08 PM
Margaret (not verified) | 04/25/11 | 21:51 PM
Anonymous (not verified) | 06/19/11 | 16:18 PM
Anonymous (not verified) | 05/31/11 | 12:27 PM
Nick (not verified) | 06/03/11 | 10:03 AM
Anonymous (not verified) | 06/06/11 | 03:43 AM
'I have been seeing a therapist, talking to church counsellors, family friends and I still feel desolate. I am suicidal and the only thing holding me back is the impact such an action would have on my family. Sometimes I'll be driving along and I can almost hear my voice telling me to put the pedal to the metal and end it all. I have problems sleeping so I've taken to going for long walks late into the night on my own - it's almost as if i'm begging someone to end this miserable life of mine. The only thing keeping me in the here & now apart from my family is the faith I have in God, but even that is hard a times. I have stopped talking to people about the incident and everyone thinks im ok, but truth be told i'm reaching the end of my tether'.
Hi Anonymous, I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling suicidal and reaching the end of your tether and that everyone thinks that you are OK, when you are not. Hopefully you are aware that many countries have anonymous crisis telephone hotlines which are phone numbers that people can call to get immediate, usually free, over-the-phone emergency counseling, by trained volunteers? Maybe it would help to talk anonymously to one of these suicide counselors? These hotlines were Initially set up to help those contemplating suicide, but many have expanded their mandate to deal more generally with emotional crises. There is a list of worldwide crisis telephone numbers on Wikipedia at
hope this helps and that you feel better soon and definitely before the end of the year.
My 5 min film 'Hidden Dangers for ALS' entry in the AAN #2015Neurofilm Festival is listed no. 22 of 65 entries at
| 06/19/11 | 22:49 PM
Nancy (not verified) | 06/06/11 | 10:34 AM
Anonymous (not verified) | 06/07/11 | 17:12 PM
Anonymous (not verified) | 06/08/11 | 11:11 AM
Anonymous (not verified) | 06/08/11 | 11:11 AM
Anonymous (not verified) | 08/07/11 | 22:30 PM
Anonymous (not verified) | 08/07/11 | 22:30 PM
I put a smile on for everyone and i just want to take a gun and write her a note and Shoot myself in the head... Saying this is all your fault...OK, enough is enough.& That's NOT love.& That's self-indulgent bullshit and it's selfish to even THINK that your doing something like suicide is anyone's fault but your own.& You need to get out of that habit right now!& You cannot face every hardship and problem in life by threatening to hurt others because you feel depressed.& Let's face it, that's all you're trying to do ... you think she'll suffer emotionally if you were to kill yourself.& Consider this ... what if she didn't?& You'll not only have wasted your life, but you won't even have gotten the satisfaction you thought you wanted.That's a dead-end path and you need to stop that kind of thinking.& Take note ... as a former Marine myself ... you'd better get your head screwed on straight before you show up at Boot camp.
Mundus vult decipi
| 08/07/11 | 22:38 PM
Anonymous (not verified) | 08/22/11 | 04:40 AM
Crystal Grijalva
(not verified) | 08/24/11 | 13:46 PM
Anonymous (not verified) | 08/31/11 | 01:47 AM
Anonymous (not verified) | 08/31/11 | 01:47 AM
Navy Sailor (not verified) | 08/31/11 | 19:23 PM
Sad Girl (not verified) | 09/01/11 | 01:29 AM
Anonymous (not verified) | 09/04/11 | 10:01 AM
Anonymous (not verified) | 09/06/11 | 11:04 AM
mlove (not verified) | 10/30/11 | 09:57 AM
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Anonymous (not verified) | 09/15/11 | 23:44 PM
Anonymous #999,999 (not verified) | 11/30/11 | 10:51 AM
Anonymous (not verified) | 01/12/12 | 21:08 PM
Anonymous (not verified) | 10/12/11 | 19:41 PM
Immy (not verified) | 10/28/11 | 13:38 PM
(not verified) | 11/05/11 | 09:01 AM
Perhaps I can offer some words of advice, having recently suffered the death of an angel. It was brutal and happened about 6 weeks ago now. My advice?&
Family (most impt)
Friends (in real life and also on-line)
Writing (if you are posting, then you like to write)
Music (CD's in the car rather than talk radio)
Walking (to balance the sitting)
Sunshine (but prophylax against skin cancer), and finally
Moonshine (though not necessarily White Lightning)
That's seven, to match the Seven Sisters of Pleiades (coming full circle).
| 11/05/11 | 09:29 AM
And one more thing:Attach a good set of headphones or speakers to your PC and boot up .
| 11/05/11 | 09:54 AM
Kory Ellyn (not verified) | 11/06/11 | 21:31 PM
vs (not verified) | 11/09/11 | 05:31 AM
Anonymous (not verified) | 11/14/11 | 17:53 PM
Anonymous (not verified) | 11/19/11 | 11:06 AM
Anonymous (not verified) | 11/21/11 | 20:45 PM
bunny (not verified) | 01/23/12 | 22:00 PM
Anonymous (not verified) | 11/23/11 | 10:37 AM
Anonymous # 999,999 (not verified) | 11/29/11 | 22:07 PM
Anonymous (not verified) | 12/26/11 | 19:42 PM
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Anonymous # 999,999 (not verified) | 11/30/11 | 15:16 PM
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Anonymous (not verified) | 12/04/11 | 07:43 AM
Joe Adkins (not verified) | 12/14/11 | 16:08 PM
a heartbroken boy (not verified) | 12/05/11 | 10:38 AM
Cheema (not verified) | 12/05/11 | 11:18 AM
S Kumar (not verified) | 12/08/11 | 07:50 AM
Anonymous (not verified) | 12/12/11 | 11:16 AM
Joe Adkins (not verified) | 12/13/11 | 14:28 PM
Joe Adkins (not verified) | 12/14/11 | 15:55 PM
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Anonymous (not verified) | 12/17/11 | 15:12 PM
Anonymous (not verified) | 12/20/11 | 00:54 AM
Anonymous (not verified) | 12/21/11 | 21:47 PM
sandy (not verified) | 01/04/12 | 12:52 PM
Anonymous (not verified) | 01/14/12 | 01:35 AM
Wow! You are a great writer. Nice photos too. keep going
Physics education.
| 01/06/12 | 16:16 PM
Anonymous (not verified) | 01/07/12 | 05:25 AM
Anonymous (not verified) | 01/07/12 | 09:41 AM
Anonymous (not verified) | 01/10/12 | 16:52 PM
Jay (not verified) | 01/18/12 | 00:28 AM
Jay (not verified) | 01/18/12 | 00:31 AM
illy (not verified) | 01/20/12 | 07:46 AM
Ophelia (not verified) | 01/21/12 | 14:29 PM
Anonymous (not verified) | 01/20/12 | 20:33 PM
Anonymous (not verified) | 01/20/12 | 21:09 PM
When are people going to realize that obsession is not love?
Mundus vult decipi
| 01/20/12 | 22:01 PM
Anonymous (not verified) | 01/21/12 | 16:39 PM
Depends.& There's the "heartbreak" of truly having one's emotions upset because of a close attachment.& Then there's the "heartbreak" of simply being in love with one's fantasies and being obsessive [by simply wanting things to go your own way].& The latter doesn't count for much in my book.After all, how much "love" can be present when an individual refuses to recognize another individual's choices as being as legitimate as their own?
Mundus vult decipi
| 01/21/12 | 18:41 PM
Anonymous (not verified) | 01/22/12 | 18:46 PM
But i would love that somebody would please investigate why a guy turns from a sweet...to a asshole?See, .... that's where I have a problem.& What makes you think that this is the only way these things happen?& It already suggests a myopic view of things.& Do you think women never turn cold?& People are people and to imply [or suggest] that they may never change their feelings or behaviors is simplistic.& In truth, people are often "forced" to become "colder" because the other person invariably doesn't get the message if they don't.& This is one of the primary difficulties in such situations.& Most of these posts seem to uniformly fail at understanding what would happen if they did actually get back together with the person in question.& On the surface, I'm sure the initial attitude is that it would be great, but on reflection, I can't see how many of these posters believe that most of these relationships would ever work out.&
Mundus vult decipi
| 01/22/12 | 20:47 PM
Most of these posts seem to uniformly fail at understanding what would happen if they did actually get back together with the person in question.& On the surface, I'm sure the initial attitude is that it would be great, but on reflection, I can't see how many of these posters believe that most of these relationships would ever work out.&&&I don't think that is necessarily true Gerhard, most of these posts seem to be written by heartbroken people who just can't understand how they were so wrong about someone else, who they had good reason to believe were worthy of their love and reciprocated their love.&This heartbreaking experience has often destroyed their confidence in their own judgement and I personally believe that there is a direct correlation between how deeply one has loved someone and how deeply one feels heartbroken when that love is betrayed or lost in some completely unexpected way.&People who do not love intensely probably can't understand the subsequent equally intense pain, anguish and depression that heartbroken people feel. By analysing their experiences and sharing their stories with other like-minded people, as is happening here, many heartbroken people seem to be more able to start recovering and hopefully start learning to love and trust again. Counselling can be useful if there is a sympathetic counsellor and not one that just tells them to pull themselves together and get over it. Time can also be a great healer, as can falling in love again of course.
My 5 min film 'Hidden Dangers for ALS' entry in the AAN #2015Neurofilm Festival is listed no. 22 of 65 entries at
| 01/23/12 | 04:40 AM
Anonymous (not verified) | 01/23/12 | 20:03 PM
The relationship if back together would not be a hyster i would be much more demanding, that guy needed practically to prove he deserves to be at my side, and to give all the value that apparently lacked before....Exactly my point.& Which is the path to "getting over it".& If feelings still persist despite recognition that the relationship wouldn't work, then it becomes dysfunctional and the "love" is with a fantasy and not the reality.
Mundus vult decipi
| 01/23/12 | 20:27 PM
Anonymous (not verified) | 01/21/12 | 12:11 PM
Alissa cares.... (not verified) | 01/27/12 | 16:52 PM
josie (not verified) | 02/02/12 | 14:30 PM
Arsha (not verified) | 02/09/12 | 01:27 AM
Are you whacked?& Even if it were true, what makes you think that "casting spells" would be an ethical way to get someone to be with you?& Are you truly so desperate that you'd willingly manipulate someone into a relationship?If so, you deserve everything that happens to you.
Mundus vult decipi
| 02/09/12 | 02:05 AM
Anonymous (not verified) | 02/14/12 | 22:08 PM
Anonymous (not verified) | 02/14/12 | 22:09 PM
Angel (not verified) | 02/15/12 | 14:22 PM
Angel (not verified) | 02/15/12 | 14:26 PM
Anonymous (not verified) | 02/25/12 | 16:16 PM
Anonymous (not verified) | 03/05/12 | 14:57 PM
Sibley melakieb (not verified) | 02/29/12 | 20:06 PM
Riya (not verified) | 03/05/12 | 04:32 AM
Riya (not verified) | 03/05/12 | 04:37 AM
Anonymous (not verified) | 03/05/12 | 23:53 PM
Riya (not verified) | 03/06/12 | 00:03 AM
Riya (not verified) | 03/06/12 | 00:06 AM
Emily (not verified) | 03/08/12 | 07:25 AM
Jen (not verified) | 03/08/12 | 16:46 PM
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derek_potter (not verified) | 03/11/12 | 06:41 AM
Anonymous (not verified) | 03/12/12 | 14:33 PM
miller (not verified) | 03/18/12 | 03:03 AM
derek_potter (not verified) | 03/18/12 | 04:43 AM
Kent Parson (not verified) | 04/18/12 | 12:31 PM
Sandy (not verified) | 03/29/12 | 12:25 PM
How pathetic is that?
Mundus vult decipi
| 03/29/12 | 14:16 PM
Dustih (not verified) | 04/17/12 | 23:17 PM
Kent (not verified) | 04/18/12 | 12:27 PM
Nat (not verified) | 05/01/12 | 01:57 AM
annonymous (not verified) | 05/01/12 | 21:11 PM
Anonymous (not verified) | 05/04/12 | 16:41 PM
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Anonymous (not verified) | 05/05/12 | 22:26 PM
Anonymous (not verified) | 06/19/12 | 12:06 PM
Christopher Howell (not verified) | 07/18/12 | 00:52 AM
Anonymous (not verified) | 07/18/12 | 22:15 PM
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Anonymous (not verified) | 08/08/12 | 03:50 AM
Anonymous (not verified) | 08/08/12 | 04:01 AM
Anonymous (not verified) | 08/24/12 | 01:36 AM
Anonymous (not verified) | 08/28/12 | 14:33 PM
Anonymous (not verified) | 09/03/12 | 18:36 PM
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Anonymous (not verified) | 09/23/12 | 20:30 PM
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