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How to be Attractive
Christian advice on being attractive
So what's 'attractive' anyway!?...
Not the guy above by the look of it! Obviously we all know that generally, what's
is a largely subjective affair and a matter of taste - thank goodness! However, there are things that will positively enhance your attractiveness, and a few things that won't. We've all experienced 'love' at first sight - but have you ever come across someone whom in the worlds eyes may be quite unremarkable, yet they possess a certain sparkle that's strangely attractive? -of course. Because God doesn't limit attraction to the physical. It's just one manifestation of many and amounts to little if not followed by beauty in spirit or personality!
First - the heart of REAL attractiveness!
Firstly there is such a thing as real self confidence from which real attractiveness can arise - starting at the heart and radiating outward. But it begins only when you learn to see yourself in a true light - as God sees you. People who have learnt to do this (granted - easier for some than others) are strangely attractive. They're great to be around! This sounds like a cliché but is actually the key to real attractiveness! Read the following help guide and tips article on !
Second - gain confidence!
Second, there is nothing like the confidence gained by actually doing things - taking on challenges and overcoming fears by approaching them head on. The satisfaction and genuine confidence that comes from doing this builds character and will inevitably make you more attractive.
Our recomended attraction advice books from AMAZON
How to Win Friends & Influence People
Dale Carnegie's
this best selling Author offers practical advice & techniques for how to make life more rewarding. Far from being a typical modern quick fix self help book this book really offers fantastic well considered advice - not designed in any way to manipulate but develop genuinely strong relationships with friends and work colleagues.
Thirdly - be lovable (ovoid not angular!)
It's very hard to be attracted to someone who doesn't love themself or someone who is particularly angular. Being liked is a prerequisite for love so when people rub against you in the wrong way let them take the corners off you (Be tolerant). This way you'll be much more likable! Remember it's not 'our right' to be loved and demanding it will make people back off - thus starving us of what we want!
So, to be attractive work on the following...
Learn to see yourself as God sees you. If you wanna kknow how to be attractive to guys, girls, men and women - everyone has to start here.
Be yourself - don't be pressured into being something your not.
Be confident in your abilities. You can do things that at first appear overwhelming and achieving a goal an important way of establishing real self confidence.
Sharpen your skills - do everything to the best of your ability (A sharp instrument does less work to achieve the same goal!).
Staying up on current events means you won't run out of conversation should you bump into someone you like.
Don't be lazy - a top psychologist concludes his book by suggesting that laziness is one of mans biggest enemies. Right or wrong, inactivity is neither good for body or mind. Laziness is very unattractive.
Don't fear rejection. Some relationships would never work under any circumstances, especially when people have little in common - being turned down does not mean unattractive - more like incompatible. Everyone gets turned down at some point!
Accept your insecurities and don't dwell on them. Expect God to deal with them at some point. Everyone has weaknesses and in the end we learn about ourselves and others through having them. Develop your strong points and character. Discuss problems with a trusted friend - not a date!
Get a life - in the nicest sense! Better expressed by saying balance career and leisure. Also, make sure you have some interests! If working hard comes naturally, keep a grip on reality by taking breaks!
Go forth and be attractive!!
Opposites attract?
It's true - opposites do attract, not always for the best reasons - wanting what you havn't got and all that. It seems to be something in nature, Life is full of positives and negatives. What makes a man - hard and angular, desire a woman that is soft and round? A strange mystery indeed!
Tips on attraction? - try Amazon's choice
Do looks matter?
To God in light of eternity no not according to scripture, but on this earth, where we have be told to go forth and multiply - well yes they play a part in attracting and 'glueing' people together and ensuring little terrors come forth but again - this only really plays an important factor in attaction - and we all (thankfully according to God's amazing foresight) find differnt things attractive. Of course in the end looks fade and we are left with what really matters - the character or a person! So you decide if looks matter. We say no.
What the dictionary says on attraction (rightly or wrongly!).
That whi an allurement. Speaks nothing but attractiveness and invitation.
Attracting or drawing by moral influence or pleasing. ``Attractive graces.'' -Molten. ``Attractive eyes.'' --Thackeray. Flowers of a livid yellow, or fleshy color, are most attractive.
Source: Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary, (C)
MICRA, Inc. attractive adj
pleasing to the eye or mind especially thr &a remarkably attractive young man&; &an attractive personality&; &attractive clothes&; &a book with attractive illustrations& [ant: unattractive]
having powe &an attractive opportunity&; &the job is attractive because of the pay&
(physics) having the pr the abi &an attractive force&;
Source: WordNet ¨ 1.6, (C) 1997 Princeton University
Here's another piece on attraction - whilst we should ultimately seek Gods view of 'Attractive', there are still some useful insights to be gained from secular writings like the one below.
More tips to Being Attractive
by Thomas J. Leonard, Founder, Coach University
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
The term Irresistibly Attractive refers to the idea of great people, ideas, opportunities, things and more, come To you vs you chasing them or being promotive, seductive or acquisitive in nature.
1. Don't need much.
If you need something, usually it will run away/escape you. Get your personal needs met first and you'll find yourself attracting without trying to hard. (this obviously depends on your circumstances and is easier for some than others)
2. Think bigger.
Attraction occurs when there is a healthy vacuum between where you are and what you want to have happen. The wider the gap, the greater the pulling power of attraction.
3. Eliminate the holes in your life.
Plug those holes by extending boundaries, raising standards, resolving past issues, healing. Attraction won't find you until you're ready. Get ready. Use the Personal Foundation Program for this.
4. Pay attention to what's happening to/around you RIGHT NOW.
Attraction LIVES in the moment, not in the future. Are you responding fully to both the problems and the opportunities that are occurring -- in force -- right now, in your space? Gotta start here, where attraction can find you.
5. Learn from people who are naturally attractive.
Try to work out why some people seem more attractive. Often it's just getting your life in order and learning to be who you really are. Just be ready to make changes in your thinking, assumptions, actions and behavior.
6. Increase your awareness.
Sounds trite, but it's necessary. Attraction is a subtle phenomenon. You won't feel it or get it until you've increased your awareness of yourself, those around you, how you think, your life assumptions.
7. Add value to whomever or whatever you encounter.
We all have something to add. Add it. If you don't have enough to add, learn a new skill. When you ADD what you have to other's lives, whether they are clients, friends, potential customers, family, YOU become much more attractive.
8. Tell the truth. (this has got to be the my favourite!)
This means more than not lying. There is a level of telling the truth that will truly set you free and attract others to you. And, there is a way to tell the truth from a place of love vs power. Usually having awareness and advanced phrasing is what helps this process occur naturally. That, plus having enough reserve in your life so you can afford any consequences of telling the truth.
9. Follow your hearts desire whilst maintaining a sense of responsibility and sensibility.
We've all been overly influenced by shoulds, oughts and have-to's. So much so that what you/we want to do has been suppressed WAY down deep.
Christian dating advice - how to be attractive to women or men / guys or girls -
- copyright 2000 &go forth and be attractive& - The eleventh commandment! (C) Written by Fusion101 Christian Singles Dating & Chat.
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Be Yourself
"I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wond my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw m in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them."
— Man to ,
Be Yourself is a popular trope, especially in shows aimed at children. One character tries to persuade another character to change their image and not be a loser, geek, etc. After the change goes amiss,
almost always ensues, and
is delivered about how it is better to be true to one's own nature. Usually, that means being ,
as well as having .
Occasionally this is warped into "Be Who You Should Be", the plot doesn't even recognize certain personalities as even being choices and thus they "clearly" must be fake personas. And forget the notion that someone has different branching possibilities. That's just far too complicated for some works. And that's not even getting into how often it's been outright
or , changing to "don't try to improve or better yourself or even buy any new clothes".
But try telling that old tautology to
or villain who's a , or one who feels the need to commit
Can be considered a negative if a character's true nature is to be vulgar or
is certainly being true to himself, but that doesn't make him a good person. Most frequently, however, it's broken when the intended message is inadvertently twisted to
- the more often an episodic series attempts "Be Yourself", the more likely they are to break it this way.
Of course, one that puts up facades by nature should be considered true to oneself by definition. The worst
strike upon the , a logical fallacy that confuses what is with what ought to be. The better attempts are usually reminders to
rather than to deny oneself.
If the Be Yourself succeeds, it may lead to said character declaring .
In real life, this is one of the important tenets of , one's purpose in life should not be judged / determined by society, but rather one should shape their own purpose in life.
&&&&open/close all folders&
&&&&Advertising&
One of the last "Erin E-Surance" commercials, right before the campaign was pulled.
It's okay to be yourself because
/ It's okay to release your ...power.... / 'cause it ! ♪
Being beautiful and being yourself are mutually exclusive according to
Averted in the Mandalay Bay commercials. Mandalay Bay in Las Vegas isn't the place to be yourself as
demonstrate.
for National Westminster Bank, starring Adrian Edmondson as
, played this trope for . In his quest to open a bank account, pseudo-Vyv dons an ill-fitting three-piece suit, buzzes his mohawk, and has the metal stars on his forehead removed (apparently, they are piercings). After this, and overcompensating with his
at NatWest, he is granted an account ... and moments later, the punked-out guy behind him in line opens his own account without a hitch. Our hero doesn?t take this well.
this woman's being herself through her crude table manners.
by all those
&&&&Anime & Manga&
Early on in
Yukino is Ms. Perfect at school and a Slacker at home who likes to wear sweat clothes and be comfy. She learns to "Be Herself". She put so much work into faking perfection that she's constantly exhausted and burnt out when she's at home.
does this with Nekozawa and, even more memorably, Kasanoda. Also done with H in his case "being himself" includes being a hedonist who values
and toys above people (even his own family). Haruhi even notes that "himself" isn't that great of a person. This is used for Haruhi herself, as a sort of subversion. She says that she'll "Be herself from now on,"
meaning she would leave the host club. Haruhi eventually decides to pursue her dreams and become a lawyer, moving away to America.
: Listen Simon, never forget. Just believe in yourself. Not in the Simon that I not in the Kamina that you belive in... Have faith in the Simon who believes in you...
This is the big life lesson of . Sawako uses her gifts to make friends and isn't forced to change her innate nature.
Subverted in , where the author obviously considers daring to be your eccentric self and going against the current in a society as stiff and homogeneous as the Japanese a sign of bravery and something admirable, but at the same she doesn't gloss over the hardships that being an oddball is likely to bring you.
Like being bullied and expelled from school and having close to no friends until you find more kindred spirits.
Nagi (in Alberio's pactio): You should be yourself.
: Alphonse Elric once sent Sheska a message telling her not to be discouraged that her best asset was reading, and that he respected her for having a unique talent.
In , Daigo has to reassure Kaoru that it's okay to be a
and that he shouldn't run from relationships because of self-hatred. In turn in , Kaoru tells Daigo he doesn't have to try so hard to live up to Kaoru's expectations because Kaoru wouldn't date him if he wasn't already what he wanted.
plays this in a horribly cynical way. The whole plot probably wouldn't have gone as
if Shinji had just been honest with himself and others from the start.
Season 1 has this present during Judai's duel vs. Kaiser in the graduation duel. Judai tried dueling like Kaiser or Misawa would and it nearly cost him the duel. After some food and some advice from Kaiser to be himself, he went back to normal to try and win, making a huge comeback. He didn't win, but neither did Kaiser as he forced the duel into a draw.
this in the
manga. Considering Mikoto is a tsundere who is always hiding her feelings for the guy she likes, she's a terrible choice to dispense this and ends coming like a
or something. Now, Kuroko, who is always herself, would have been perfect for this, .
Deconstructed pretty harshly in . Gilgamesh gives this advice to Kotomine- except that Kotomine's natural inclination is , and .
One of the main themes in , where it mainly applies to the heroine, Noelle, but as it turns out, most of all to
A major theme in many early
stories is Astro learning to deal with being different from his human friends (he's much smarter than the average human but he's incapable of understanding art and music and ) and overcoming . In one story he gets an upgrade that lets him experience more emotions but the villains of the week take advantage of his new sense of fear. In the end Astro decides it's better to be the best robot he can be instead of trying to be something he's not.
: Nono tries to fit into high society by being the kind of lady the wife of the founder of Ichijou Group was but ends up fitting as herself.
In , Jack Atlas looks down on Yuya Sakaki because so far, Yuya only emulates his father instead of forging his own path and finding his own way of doing things. Then later played with in their second duel where Jack states that everyone is influenced by the people around them and says it is fine to use other's words as long as you fully understand them and can convey your will through them.
In , when Canada tries to stand out and goes overboard, his brother America at first teases him but then tells Canada that he's fine the way he is. Canada doesn't buy it, but the end of the strip states that
America [about Canada]: "He has , and he actually wants to change it? He seriously doesn't know how blessed he is."
&&&&Comic Books&
Subverted in , in which the eponymous protagonist . He even tells his protege: "Be yourself until you bleed."
In the end, Lucifer's attitude is deconstructed by Yahweh, who points out that no-one can truly be entirely themselves: Everyone is created and shaped by external influences, and Lucifer's continued desire to be himself means he'll be eternally seeking for something he can never have and be forever alone and miserable.
This is the aesop of
Annual #2. Alec Holland asks his predecessor the plant elemental Swamp Thing from Alan Moore's run what it did to become
of Green champions. It tells him that the secret to its success is very simple: if something tries to change who he is as a person, he can always say no. The past Green champion who introduced them tells Alec that all he needs to do to be successful is to emulate his predecessor exactly. Alec proves he learned the lesson by saying no.
&&&&Fan Fic&
Subverted in . After spending the entire episode , Calvin seems to be headed in this direction until he proclaims that
This is a recurring theme for Zuko's character arc in . It's pointed out that Zuko considers his mastery of stealth and Dao swords an important part of his identity, since they're things that he mastered on his own. Lu Ten's final letter also tells Zuko that he shouldn't conform to others' expectations of him, although he, having internalized others' opinions of him, believes it means he can't change and begins to despair, until Katara helps him to understand. The author believes that Mai's relationship with Zuko will not work out because of their mutual desire for the other to change.
In , Kaito is given this advice by Hikaru when he asks how to get girls to like him.
crossover fanfic, ,
gives Taylor this advice in light of everything she's been through.
Weld: "I joined the Wards on probation in Boston, after a year, probation was up, and they liked me. So I kept doin' what I was doin' to be a hero. As for how I deal with the looks I get? to be honest, I kinda don't. There are people that matter to me, and people that don't. And those who mind or look at me funny, don't matter, and those who matter don't mind. I don't try to make myself perfect to please a bunch of strangers. Just do what you want. Be yourself."
A recurring theme for Zuko in . It's pointed out that Zuko considers his mastery of stealth and Dao swords an important part of his identity, since they're things that he mastered on his own. The letter Zuko received from
, also tells Zuko that he shouldn't conform to others' expectations of him, although Zuko, having internalized others' opinions of him, believes it means he can't change and begins to despair. The author also believes that Mai's relationship with Zuko will not work out because of their mutual desire for the other to change.
&&&&Films — Animation&
Almost every movie from the
features this:
This is a significant theme of Disney's
(and only the Disney version): Pretending to be the overbearing, pompous "Prince Ali" only alienates the hero from Princess Jasmine, who finds the earnest, resourceful "street rat" more appealing. In fact, the other characters feel trapped as well. Princess Jasmine, thanks to being a princess is forced to marry, while the Sultan is trapped by the law that says that his daughter must marry a prince. In the end, however, they realize that they can all get what they want while still being themselves. Additionally, in the memorable scene on the balcony, the Genie transforms himself into a bee and encourages Aladdin— "bee yourself!"
Although it's not explicitly stated in
there's a definite undercurrent of this moral throughout the film. For example, Rapunzel encourages a group of rough-and-tumble thugs to follow their dreams (even though they don't fit their image) and tells Flynn Rider that she prefers his real name, Eugene.
In , Ralph is the Bad Guy, and doesn't like it. The film even starts with his being told that they are needed to be bad.
, however, subverts this - Kuzco being himself means being the
that he is.
A significant theme of Disney/Pixar's : Be yourself and follow your dream, even at the risk of death.
: The whole point of the movie's
is that Mumble made all the difference in the world by being himself.
In , this is key to understanding the Dragon Scroll's message, which contains the power to make whoever reads it one of the greatest kung fu masters in existence.
It's a blank scroll that shows nothing but the reflection of the reader's face. Or rather, the true secret of the Dragon Scroll is that
The most important factor in your success is you and your desire/determination to improve yourself.
Makes a return in
where the arc words for the heroes are essentially "I need to turn you into you", a koan which naturally baffles everyone who hears it for the first time. What it means is that a good teacher cannot make a student into something they are not (Shifu cannot make Po into another Shifu, Po cannot make
the other pandas into another Po), but instead should make their student into the best version of themselves possible by embracing their own abilities to win the day.
Hiccup is told a few times that he just needs to change, but eventually becomes respected for his own abilities. The quotation below becomes a set of .
Gobber: You need to stop all..this.
Hiccup: But you just pointed to all of me!
Gobber: Yes! That's it! Stop being all of you!
It's what both Fievel and Tanya learn by the end of : Fievel Goes West, and it's shown that they've learned it more throu i.e. Tanya washing her make-up off and Fievel turning his hat right-side-in so it's blue again and not a cowboy hat. A rare example of the trope executed in a way that doesn't come off as sappy. Also inverted when Tiger saves the day and gets the girl by going from peace-loving to badass via training montage. Kind of
if you think about it.
The ultimate lesson Manolo learns while in the world of the dead in .
Movie, Flip the grasshopper tells Maya to just be herself and she'll be just fine. He and his friends then sing about it.
Thoroughly deconstructed in . Exactly what "being yourself" means to the animals in the film is never clear—they straddle the line between the humans and the truly wild wolf. At the beginning, they act like humans, with lawyers, gym teachers and newspaper columnists. The film later asks, how much like yourself should you be, when that self is brilliant but destructive? We never really get a good answer.
&&&&Films — Live-Action&
Invoked in , wherein the hip, New Age Californian villain orders his henchmen to spread out and be themselves!
Double Subverted in
where Hugh Grant's character Will, helps nerdy teen Marcus by buying him the latest trainers and teaching him about the latest music to fit in better with his classmates, is shown to be doing him a favour. Because his nerdiness really wasn't "himself", just who his mother wanted him to be, as evidenced in his mom and Will's argument.
One of the songs in , "Stick to the Status Quo", features three people who move out of their group's normal behaviour (a geek who likes hip-hop dancing, a stoner who plays a cello, a basketball jock who bakes) and their friends exhort them repeatedly to "Stick t stick to the ".
Subverted completely in . Edward VIII was made to look like an uncommon jerk for being himself. George VI was praised for being a . The message was "do your duty" not "be yourself". It helps that Edward VIII was a
with more of a care for his pleasure than his duty, and that George VI is to this day one of England's most beloved monarchs due to his
One of the main themes in , which is subverted when you consider that staying true to himself indirectly leads
Neil to be .
Chris's mother says something of this nature to him in the movie .
Theodora gives a rousing little speech about being a modern woman, and the importance of being yourself in .
&&&&Live-Action TV&
: Multiple episodes have had this as the , most notably "Will the Real Jan Brady Please Stand Up," "The Personality Kid" and "Today I Am a Freshman."
with "Stefan Urquelle". And then reconstructed when Laura decides she loves regular Steve, instead of letting him be Stefan permanently.
In one episode of , Clarissa's guidance counselor tries to get her to be more "normal." After trying out "normal" activities suggested by her guidance counselor, and seeing her example of normalcy, Clarissa decides it's better to just be her own quirky self.
Amongst Petey Greene's ramblings in How to Eat a Watermelon is this. Interestingly, he teaches this not by avoiding a stereotype, but by fulfilling it. Rather effective, actually.
Ruthlessly parodied on , when
gives one of these speeches at a high school graduation, which concludes, "Just be yourself, and I guarantee you every single person in this room will one day be President of the United States!"
This is the moral of
episode "One for the Record Books". Al spends the entire episode trying to break a world record in order to feel special until he finally learns that he's special just the way he is.
: In one episode, token
Kurt , his standards for "normal" being his father, and musician John Mellencamp. For a glee club assignment, he performs Mellencamp's "Pink Houses", complete with false Southern accent. The teacher Will is visibly concerned, and by the episode's end, Kurt learns he was trying way too hard to be more like his dad, even if it meant not doing his hair and making out with
spends much of the second season deciding whether he should be himself. Thing is, the "himself" he means is a serial killer...
Inverted in the reality show
with an entire series being about men (and women) having to act in specifically uncharacteristic ways to get their smart or attractive partner.
has just been made an apprentice agent, and tries desperately to act the part. She naturally makes a fool of herself.
Claudia: Umm... maybe I should stick with the computer stuff. I'm really not good at the interviews. Especially with the... people.
Myka: Why do you say that?
Claudia: Well, I tried to be like you, you know all professional and adult and...
Myka: [Burst into laughter] That... that is really dumb!
Claudia: Is this your version of a pep talk?
Myka: We already have one me, we don't need another me. I want you to go in there and be more like... you.
Later, when Claudia is about to go on a date with a hardware store employee named Todd, who appears to be clueless about anything tech-related. When she asks Artie for advice, he tells her to just be herself. Her attempt ends up completely ruining the date, and she blames Artie for giving bad advice (to be fair, Artie's not exactly an expert on relationships). Artie does end up fixing things. Later, it's revealed that Todd is, in fact, a geek in a witness protection program, and Claudia instantly falls for him (she gets off on him using technical terms).
Subverted in the
episode "Friends", in which the lesson is that it's okay to be yourself if you're not fat. Jenny is a fat girl who doesn't have any friends. The lesson she must learn in the episode is that she needs to lose weight for people to like her.
Jeff gives this advice to Abed when the rest of the study group is telling him to act differently when approaching a potential secret admirer.
: Lisa pretends to be high-class to date a rich guy. She discovers he's a jerk when he scoffs at her old friends.
: In the , Mr. Rogers delivered this message
, getting right to the heart of the matter and
in the process:
"You make each day a special day. Y by just your being you. There's only one person in the whole world like you. And people can like you exactly as you are."
In , this is the motto that Amanogawa High School follows, having each of their students be themselves, and thus have a diverse student body. However, this also creates a chaotic school ground, especially considering that some of the students are given .
In , this actually gets . One of Wizard's allies goes and talks with a guy who she sees as being down on his luck. She soon finds that he became a Phantom and talks with him about that and for a while, she actually manages to get through to him, realizing that
and doesn't like being ordered around to do exactly that. . Turns out that the Phantom was a recurring enemy to Wizard whose major encounter with him involved assaulting a woman so that . See, he likes wanton destruction more than just breaking the wills of people, and that he'd prefer doing the former more often. It actually becomes bad for all parties involved. It's bad for Wizard's ally who soon gets held hostage by the Phantom, bad for Wizard since the Phantom grew so much in power that he would have died in one encounter, and bad for the
himself since the Phantom is going out of his control and might wind up undermining his own goal of creating more Phantoms by making them despair (they can't despair if they're dead). And all because someone suggested to him that the Phantom should be himself.
Subverted in . Ami, afraid that Usagi and others would leave her if she didn't act more social, reads a self-help book and tries to immerse herself more in her friends' habits, even lying just to establish herself as a more outgoing person. Usagi finds the book and realizes Ami has been faking it, and it seems that we're in for a straight Be Yourself aesop... until we find out at the end of the episode that while Ami has indeed reverted to her old shy personality, some of the positive changes have stuck, and she has the potential to defrost even more. People don't change overnight, but can change slowly, given enough time.
Deconstructed — probably accidentally — in the 2004
Man in the Mirror: The
Story. From his rough child star upbringing onward, Jackson keeps mentally flashing to a vision of Diana Ross advising "Follow your heart", and he does that no matter how tough things get for him or what those around him advise him to do. Unfortunately, following his heart results in him having plastic surgery to the point of body horror, having sleepovers with prepubescent boys, not having meaningful relationships with his wives, etc. The audience is still supposed to see those who disapprove of his behavior as antagonists who just don't understand him, even as the film ends (as it had to at the time it was made) as his trial on child molestation charges is about to begin, and it's clear that he and the people around him haven't benefitted for his trueness to himself.
Addressed in . When Frasier is mocked and pranked repeatedly on-air by some shock jocks at his station, he compares it to bullying he and his brother faced as kids. Martin is totally unsympathetic to both instances, pointing out that the reason he and Niles were picked on, both then and now, is that their high-class, stuffed shirt personalities made them easy targets, and the only way for it to stop would be to act more middle-class. Frasier realizes toward the end of the episode that while that he may get picked on for being different, the only real way for a bully to win would be for him to change who you are.
handled th when the yearbooks came out, everyone found out what the rest of the class thinks of them. Three of the four main characters put on the sort of over-the-top, costumed transformations you'd expect from a
and just when you can feel the usual
coming, Farkle decides he's going to drop the assumed name and attitude-but keep the edgier look.
Subverted on Israeli sitcom HaPijamot: in season 2 ep. 1, when the eponymous band are working at a hotel, wannabe sensitive artist Elan fancies his coworker, and his bandmate Alona suggests this . Ilan decides to take her advice, but while flirting with her he sees a cockroach, and . Alona tells him he was himself, but unfortunately .
&&&&Literature&
: A side character preparing her for live, national TV says these exact words to Audrey...
Nathaniel Keene, from , is encouraged to do this by his school principal. Unfortunately, since Nat is a vampire, 'being yourself' involves becoming a . Nat doesn't bite.
invokes about being yourself that God made and loved you before you were born.
Reviving Ophelia, a book focusing on the struggles of adolescent girls, discusses the various good and bad points of the Be Y on the one hand, self-confidence is the key to resisting a lot of the negative pressures girls face as they approach their teenage years. On the other hand, that can lead to destructive rebellion and depression when one's self is not the one that parents and peers want. As one girl puts it, "I am a perfectly good carrot that everyone is trying to carve into a rose. As a carrot I have good color and a nice, as a rose, I wither and die."
Played with in
- Ward fears that, by pretending to be someone else for so long, he has lost his self. Oreg tells him that he knows exactly who Ward is, and encourages him to stay that way. Ward, however, is a bit bitter about the fact that all attributes Oreg mentioned are actually from some role Ward has been playing. (At least he thinks so - the narrative doesn't really prove him right, his kindness at least is a very stable trait)
On the Broken side, "Be yourself" has often been used to restrain ambition. The Little Rabbit Who Wanted Red Wings is a
in which the bunny gets what he wants — and his mother doesn't recognize him and slams the door in his face. There's . It was written by a white woman named Carolyn Bailey who claimed it was adapted from an Afro-American folktale. The poem "Just Be What You Is" is another example, also written by a white author.
&&&&Music&
The (unstated) moral in Joe Nichols' top 10 country hit "What's a Guy Gotta Do." The song itself isn't as harsh as the video — a man trying too hard to land a girlfriend, with his efforts resulting in him being accused of harassment — but, through examples of cruising the parking lot and making small talk that fails to get over with desirable young women, and bumping into another (presumably single) young woman's shopping cart at the grocery store (on bad advice from an elderly friend), the man eventually learns that being himself is the best way to land a girlfriend.
"Express Yourself" from :
Don't call for second-best, baby. Put your love into the test. You know, you know, you've got to make him express how he feels. And maybe then you'll know your love is real.]]
Yusuf Islam's "Be What You Must".
Be you dust or be you star, to be what you must, just reach out for what you are.
, "Supersonic"
''You need to be yourself. You can't be no one else."
utilizes this as her message, subtly and unsubtly
Baby I'm a freak and I don't really give a damn
's "Beautiful" is all about this trope
Be yourself man, be proud of who you are / Even if it sounds corny / Don't ever let anyone told you you ain't beuatiful
: Their music pretty much exists to say this.
Chesney Hawkes's :
the one and only me, nobody I'd rather be...
...But while this may be true, you are the one and only you.
The main theme of 's piece "" is about being who you are and the happiness and freedom that comes with that, rather than trying to fit ideas other people project onto you or how culture says you should be.
Kevin Max's "Be".
Be, be yourself there's no one who does it quite like you. And be no one else, cause if you don't, then who is going to?
"Thou Shalt Always Kill" by dan le sac vs. Scroobius Pip. After three minutes of bafflingly specific, vaguely anti-consumerist didactic rhetoric from the titular Scroobius Pip, he admonishes listeners to "think for yourselves".
"Follow Your Arrow" by :
Make lots of noise, kiss lots of boys
When the straight and narrow gets a little too straight Roll up a joint, or don't Just follow your arrow wherever it points?
ends with this. One of the more mature uses of the trope: the plot is about Jimmy trying and failing to find his identity by fitting in with other groups (and constantly being let down). It's only when he lets all that baggage go at the end of the story and decides to be himself that he finds his identity.
"Whistling In The Dark" from ' .
There's only one thing that I know how do to well
And I've often been told that you only can do what you do well
And that's be you, be what you like, be like yourself
"Be Yourself" by
"Dimetrodon" by The Doubleclicks:
Be yourself
Count on your inner strength
Find your people
Their song "" is also about not judging oneself by Hollywood's unrealistic depictions...of Velociraptors!
Meghan Trainor's "All About That Base", while sounding like a
is also about not judging yourself by impossible standards of beauty.
I see the magazines working that Photoshop, We know that shit ain't real, come on now, make it stop. If you got beauty, beauty, just raise 'em up 'Cause every inch of you is perfect from the bottom to the top!
song "Ugly" is all about not caring what other people think because those who are judging you aren't that great.
Van Zant's "Help Somebody" has the line "It's better to be hated for who you are, than loved for who you're not."
"All You Need Is Love" from
tells us that "Nothing you can do, but you can learn how to be you in time / It's easy!"
This is the central theme of 's song "Englishman in New York", about a man who tries to be who he is despite being a stranger in the crowd.
It takes a man to suffer ignorance and smile, Be yourself, no matter what they say
&&&&Newspaper Comics&
in . Wally demonstrates what
would mean. Savaged again in
&&&&Professional Wrestling&
Ever since Jerk Jackson was renamed "Bobby Fish" in , this has been his main . You may not like it but all it's him and all Fish is interested in doing anymore is being him.
This "lesson" might have lead to a
scenario, as Jessicka Havok claimed in a SHINE preview she learned the importance of being herself from Su Yung, and as such we've seen Havok go from
to mad woman willing to go to potentially lethal lengths in matches, including against Yung. Ironically Havok said this in reference to the fact Yung hadn't been herself since becoming a thrall of Sweet Saraya.
ACH stopped teaming with
out of a desire to be his own man, which lead to Silas Young attacking ACH out of the belief he didn't know what was good for him, the importance of being secure in yourself, or not, becoming central to their resulting feud.
&&&&Stand Up Comedy&
Discussed and contraindicated by , who has gone on record of saying that on a first date, you are the ambassador of you.
&&&&Theater&
Yelled repeatedly along with "dude" in the
park by the genie when Alladin goes to meet Jasmine. After yelling for a good minute, the genie becomes overly embarrassed at how long he took, and then goes off to "".
from 's Peer Gynt. "Be thyself, and thyself is enough!"
It's a repeated motif in Ibsen's plays. It plays an important part of , and also in
("Be what you are, complete and whole, not a divided, piecemeal soul.")
: Cyrano is ugly and eloquent. He loves Roxane, but he will never dare to confess to her because he is afraid she rejects him. Christian is fair but not witty, and wants to confess to Roxane, but he knows she never will accept someone who is not eloquent. Cyrano convinces Christian to woo Roxane (who desperately wants to believe Christian is as eloquent as fair) by Cyrano being... well, . When Christian discovers the rather obvious truth that Cyrano also loves Roxane, Christian accepts the fact that he is
and forces Cyrano to tell the truth. Notice that Christian still has hope that Roxane will chose him, but if not, Cyrano and Roxane, the two people Christian loves most in the world, would have been happy.
Christian:'' I will be loved myself?or not at all!
In , Cinderella learns that it wasn't her dress that made the P it was her.
&&&&Video Games&
This is a major idea, plot point, and overall Aesop delivered in . Whenever someone gets thrown into the TV world, they're confronted with a twisted "Shadow" version of themselves that attempts to , and then . The only way to survive is to accept their repressed issues, which turns the Shadow into a . Becomes darkly twisted in the case of Adachi, who is implied to have happily embraced his Shadow with next to no difficulty since at this point he no longer feels the need to repress his sociopathic urges. A similar case would be , where his shadow represents that he's a worthless human being, which he rejects with a feeble attempt at claiming that his life is actually worth something. Although, the boss fight after, an outer shell that looks like an 8-bit character, implies what happens to people like that, and that part of themselves is the shell they hide behind, but it's not as "self" as whats under it.
: "BE TRUE TO YOURSELF" shows up at least once in each route and in the end credits.
people, the onerthes are...
by others. Most have taken to hiding their third eye and pretending to be human to avoid being hunted. Vira-Lorr on the other hand openly displays her third eye and practically dares hunters to come after her, rather than hide what she is.
II Valimar essentially tells the main protagonist, Rean Schwarzer, this, noting that there's little point in him trying to be someone or something that he's not.
: This is what Amuro tries to tell Full Frontal that he shouldn't act like he's Char but be his own person.
&&&&Web Animation&
episode "Utter Lunacy" discusses and plays with this one. Twilight Sparkle insists that Princess Luna
if she wants to be accepted by Ponyville. Luna wonders if perhaps "being yourself" would be a better message to send to the viewers—and Twilight busts a gut laughing. But the events of the episode eventually prove Luna right. Her attempts to "act normal" all fail hilariously, .
: At the end of Season 2 Brittnay and Mackenzie resolve to never change who they are to become rich and famous. Even if who they are are rude, crass, and kind of psychotic.
Tristan: But Brittnay, what about your show? Trisha: Yeah, Mackenzie, what about your modeling career? Brittnay: Fuck it. Mackenzie: Yeah, we don't need to be rich and famous right now if it means we giving up who we really are. Brittnay: Yeah, I mean, if somebody wants to give me my own show and a whole bunch of money, you better goddamn believe it's gonna be on my own terms. Mackenzie: Yeah! Besides, if we were to sacrifice everything we are to become rich and famous at this age, well, we could end up like Amanda Bynes. Brittnay: Or Lindsay Lohan. Trisha: Or Shia Lebouf. Saison: Or Michael Jackson. Mackenzie: So for right now, we're just gonna be exactly who the fuck we are and not anybody. Besides, we're still
Brittnay: You're goddamn right we are.
: The lesson that Dr. Havoc teaches Crystal Mynxx in Episode 8. Unfortunately,
&&&&Webcomics&
Played for laughs by being used as the most useless piece of advice possible in
In , Joy struggles with dealing with her mothers attempts to make her act and dress more like a girl.
In , Vriska Serket learns this.
Stabs comments on the irony of a mimic advising "Be Yourself."
: After Viv and Incubus trying to get Sandra to become human or demon,
that she is not Viv or Incubus but her own person.
Nautilus from
gives some helpful advice.
"You can't make the world like you, Panpipe. All you can do is be true to your heart. And then, ! Ever! ...But if you like yourself, it's really not so bad."
&&&& Web Original&
in Captain Hammer's song "Everyone's a Hero," which at first appears to be a pretty straightforward "accept yourself for who you are" anthem, but it gradually becomes clear that the message comes with a coda, "and incidentally, accept that who you are ."
Everyone's a hero in their own way,
Everyone has villains they must face.
They're not as cool as mine, but folks you know it's fine to know your place....
article, "."
"I'm glad he felt comfortable being himself," said brother Chris Scanlon, 39. "But when you're in full-blown mid-30s-crisis mode with misogynist tendencies and a desperate, neurotic need for approval, maybe 'the real you' is not the best thing to put forward."
&&&&Western Animation&
: Alvin tries to make nerdy Jeanette into a beauty queen to compete against Brittany in a pageant.
The same plot was used on : After being tricked into entering a beauty contest, tomboy Spinelli is taught to be a "beauty queen" by her friends - but ultimately wins by being herself.
A, very rare for kid's show, deconstruction in the Randall's Friends episode: Randall is ashamed to admit to his father that he has no friends, but his father tells him he was proud of him for using his time to spy and tattle on kids rather than helping them and building personal relationships, because he was that way himself at that age (and still is), and he just wants Randall to be true to himself.
In an episode of , Scooter is tired of being the klutzy nerd, so Gonzo tries to help him create a new persona.
On , tough-acting tomboy Shreik tries to make herself "a real woman" so that Dog will take notice of her. It backfires when every guy except Dog ends up hitting on her.
On , the Deville twins are tired of people getting them mixed up and decide to take on new personas. Lil becomes more like Angelica, a heartless bully, and Phil becomes more like Chuckie, a timid coward.
TV series. Sebastian provides the perfect
for this trope: "You Got to Be You".
A subplot in one episode of . The crabby Kani decides to be mellow, even though
The Aesop of every single
episode where
. It is discussed in "The Cupid Effect", where Wade suggests the idea, yet Ron dismisses it:
When Tucker tires of his geeky (and for that episode, unlucky) lifestyle in , his friend Sam suggests a change and makes him a Goth like her. Tucker however finds the experience horrifying, refusing the dreary make-ups and accessories, causing him to revert to his original self. Subverted the entire time because Sam tricked him into accepting who he is by making his short lived experience as a Goth as terrifying as possible.
A major theme of the
films, particularly "Marvelous Makeover."
The premise of : , in which the dragon, Spike, tries desperately to get Wysteria to be a proper princess. She does her best to go along, but really just wants to be herself, and eventually ends up standing up and saying so, finding a way to still be a princess while being herself.
Also the key theme of "Come Back, Lily Lightly," in which Lily Lightly thinks that her friends will shun her because she glows. "Yes, I guess, we have to say, we all shine in a different way! And that means... me too? No one shines any brighter than you!"
episode "Adventures in Squirrelsitting", Tammy tries to impress Chip by going to Fat Cat's hideout to recover the stolen Maltese Mouse. Gadget eventually finds her and seeing that she's jealous to tears of Gadget, informs her that she doesn't need to do anything impressive to get C she just has to "be Tammy".
has fun subverting this trope, using .
"Chitty Chitty Death Bang"
Meg: I don't get it. The harder I try to make friends, the more people hate me.
Peter: Listen. Meg, you're a one-of-a-kind girl with a mind of her own. Now, see, that's what people hate.
Meg: Really?
Peter: I'm telling you, just be the girl you think everyone else wants you to be.
Meg: Wow, it's so obvious. Thanks, Daddy.
Subverted in the "Clean is Keen" episode of : Suede Simpson stunk because he never showered. At the end Suede starts taking showers.
In an episode of , Tigger explains that the secret of his popularity is, "I've just got to be me!" Unfortunately, Eeyore misinterprets this by
The original philosopher of this trope,
the Sailor—"I yam wot I yam and tha's all wot I yam."
Constantly played with in . Lots of episodes end with a character learning a Be Yourself aesop, despite "themselves" not being the greatest of people. In general, they run with the humorous twist that "being yourself is the right thing, even if it's not the best thing for everyone," or as Hermes put it.
Hermes: When push comes to shove you gotta do what you love, even if it's not a good idea.
This comes up directly in an episode where Fry gets parasites from a rancid sandwich and they improve his body and mind. Leela says "I love what you've become," which worries Fry and causes him to get rid of the worms so he can see if she likes him or just what they made him. She rejects him, but they become an
Played with in another episode, where Bender goes to Robot Hell after first joining a robot religion and becoming annoyingly good, then going overboard with hedonistic acts after Fry and Leela decided they
and tempted him back to his old ways. After Bender attaches robotic wings to his back and escapes Robot Hell by flying away, carrying Fry and Leela with him, he promises that he'll never be too good or too evil again, he'll just be himself.
Leela: Um... do you think you could be a little less evil than that? Bender: That depends. Do you think you could survive a 200 foot drop?
In "The Cyberhouse Rules", Leela is frustrated at being labeled a freak so she has plastic surgery to turn her one eye into two. Fry is none too happy, saying that it made her unique and special (and also because she starts dating the surgeon). When the guy talks about adopting and "normalizing" an orphan with an ear in the middle of her forehead, Leela tells him where to stick it and says she was fine the way she was.
Halloween show, one of the marauding teens starts flirting awkwardly with a girl he likes - the Belcher kids look on behind shrubbery:
Gene: That guy's totally dying.
Tina: He should just be himself.
Louise: No, he really should be someone else.
This is the moral of the
episode, "The Best Way to Make Friends". Treat Heart is recording a video about the best way to make friends. Champ Bear says the best way to make friends is to show how strong you are. Cheer Bear says it is to show how pretty you are. Bright Heart says it is to show how smart you are. Treat Heart laughs at them, but they were being serious. They leave, but they come back and ask Treat Heart to continue being funny. The four characters find the moral: the best way to make friends is to Be Yourself.
From , Mr. Wizard's regular end-of-episode advice to Tooter Turtle:
Be just what you is,
Not what you is not.
Folks what do this
Are the happiest lot.
In the second season of , Tenzin comes to learn that he'll never be his father and shouldn't try to be. You wouldn't think a man in his early fifties would need this, but when your dad was a hero who ended a 100-year war and you have to carry on his nearly-extinct culture...
He later gives a similar lesson to Korra, who had just lost her powers and connections to her past lives, saying that Wan, the first Avatar, became a legend for who he was, not what, shaking her out of her .
Bolin's shtick of trying to act cool to impress girls generally annoyed them apart from some fangirls the audience usually only heard about in passing, but when he meets Opal Bei Fong he doesn't consider her to be his type, meaning he acts much more naturally around her and she almost immediately starts crushing on him. When he does try to act smooth later, she tells him to be himself and they start going out.
In an episode of the first season of ,
Bulkhead .
Prowl offers him some advice to control his strength, by accessing the situation before acting, but this causes him to freeze up in battle. Prowl finally tells Bulkhead to do what'd he do, and not what Prowl would do, thus .
episode "Swine Song", Rolly tries various attempts to woo his crush, Dumpling, however she doesn't reciprocate. At the end of the episode, he gives up and starts acting like himself again, saying that he'd rather pig out on corn fritters for the rest of the night. This is finally what gets Dumpling to like him, as she loves corn fritters as well.
episode "Sideshow", Killer Croc escapes from a police transport and stumbles across a little group of former circus performers, who welcome him as a friend and tell him that he can "be himself" among people who don't see him as a freak. Unfortunately, he finds out that they have a large stash of retirement savings, and tries to kill them and steal the money. The episode ends with the
version of the trope, with Croc showing a remarkable (for him) degree of self-awareness as he is taken back into custody:
Billy: Why, Croc? Why'd you turn on us like that? We could've helped you. We could've done something. Croc: You said you could be yourself out here, remember? I guess that's what I was doing. Being myself.
This is the
of "You Are Special / Daniel is Special" from . For example, O wants to do a magic trick because he thinks it'll make him special like Prince Wednesday, even though he doesn't really know how to do magic. Teacher Harriet tells him he doesn't have to do a magic trick to be special.
Teacher Harriet: I like you / I like you / Just the way you are.
This is a common aesop on . Because, as noted by the show's , "All You Need Is Love," "Nothing you can do, but you can learn how to be you in time / It's easy!"
. Then always be Batman.
Alternative Title(s):
Being Yourself
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BeYourself