Public courses open for registration updated for 2016:
Event Name
Read a review of the course recording .
Advanced Distributed Systems Design using SOA & DDD
Duration: 5 days
Introduction
Designing large-scale distributed systems is hard. New technologies make it easier to comply with today’s communications and security standards, but don’t auto-magically give you a robust and scalable system. Join Udi for a course packed with the wisdom of companies like SUN, Amazon, and EBay.
Tried-and-true theories and fallacies will be shown, keeping you from making those same costly mistakes today. Communications patterns like publish/subscribe and correlated one-way request/response will be used in conjunction with advanced object-oriented state management practices for long-running workflows. If you enjoy deep architectural discussion, if you are in charge of building a large-scale distributed system, if you want to know more about how the big guys run their systems, this is for you.
This workshop is targeted at team leads, application and solutions architects, as well as technologists who are involved in making decisions about the overall system design of software products and projects.
Course Topics
Module 1: Distributed Systems Theory
Decades of distributed systems development have taught us many lessons. In this module we’ll cover many historical mistakes as well as proven best practices for scalable and robust design. Topics include:
8 fallacies of distributed systems
Transactions
Module 2: Coupling: Platform, Temporal, & Spatial
Loose coupling has become the watchword of complex systems development, yet few understand its multiple dimensions. In the module we’ll be covering the three different dimensions of coupling as well as patterns for dealing with them.
Platform Coupling – XML/SOAP
Temporal Coupling – Synchronous/Asynchronous
Spatial Coupling – Endpoints/Topics
Module 3: Asynchronous Messaging Patterns
Although scalability is achieved through the use of asynchronous message passing, more advanced message exchange patterns are required to handle today’s complex integration scenarios. This module will cover the most commonly used patterns:
Correlated Request/Response
Publish/Subscribe
Module 4: Bus & Broker Architectural Styles
Enterprise Service Buses are all the rage these days. In this module we’ll be covering what’s the difference between the Bus architectural style, and the more well-known Broker, found commonly in many EAI projects. Topics will include:
Architectural advantages and disadvantages
Technological advantages and disadvantages
Module 5: SOA Building Blocks
One of the goals of SOA is to develop systems which are more closely aligned with Business. In this module we’ll be covering an analysis methodology from moving from the business domain to executable systems that comply with all the principles of loose-coupling.
Business Services
Business Components
Autonomous components & Queues
Group Analysis Exercise
In order to ensure maximum retention, students take part in a group analysis of an enterprise problem domain, identifying business services and events, experiencing first hand the tacit knowledge of parts of a solution that “feel right” and follow the rules outlined in the previous modules, as well as the other parts that “feel wrong”. Many students have described this exercise as the point of epiphany, when all the previous information “just made sense” afterward.
Module 6: Service Structure & CQRS
Drilling inside Business Services and Business Components, the topic of Command/Query Responsibility Segregation is introduced for designing collaborative, high-scale systems with great user experience. The connection between capturing user intent in task-based UIs, caching, and one-way messaging is described.
Topics include:
Search & Queries + Denormalization
Validation & Business Logic for commands
Publish/Subscribe eventing for synchronizing denormalized caches
Module 7: Scalability and Flexibility
In order to enable agility, services must be able to scale up, out, and down quickly. In this module we’ll see how queues simplify monitoring solutions while at the same time connecting them to service-level agreements, as well as how this architecture can be capitalize on the capabilities of the cloud in order to create self-tuning systems.
Scaling heterogeneous server farms
Monitoring queues for SLA
Rolling deployment and versioning
Module 8: Long running processes
The distributed communications patterns wouldn’t be complete without a discussion on orchestration. In this module we’ll see how to manage the state of long-running distributed communication flows as well as:
Encapsulating process logic
Advantages & disadvantages of orchestration
The connection of time and messaging
Module 9: Service Layers and Domain Models
Logic-rich services require the use of advanced techniques for logic componentization. The Domain Model Pattern enforces a high level of Separation of Concerns, yet it must eventually be connected with Service Layer code that supports many concurrent users. In this module, the topics covered will include:
Business Logic inside and outside a Domain Model
Transactions, Isolation Levels, Concurrency Models
Testing Domain Models
Module 10: Ultra-scalable Web Apps
As more web apps are put under the pressure of growing user bases, performing more complex tasks upon larger quantities of data, standard caching techniques are not able to handle the task by themselves. In this module, students will learn how to leverage the entire web as a cache, use Content Delivery Networks, in combination with the messaging shown in previous modules:
Composability & Cacheability of dynamic content
Scalable personalized data
Integrated messaging & pub/sub for caching sensitive data
Module 11: Summary & Review
In order to make sure that attendees are able to put into practice all that they’ve learned throughout the course, here we strengthen the seams between the various topics. Q&A is also a core part of this final section.
“Udi Dahan is the real deal. We brought him on site to give our development staff the 5-day “Advanced Distributed System Design” training. The course profoundly changed our understanding and approach to SOA and distributed systems. Consider some of the evidence: 1.
Months later, developers still make allusions to concepts learned in the course nearly every day 2.
One of our developers went home and made her husband (a developer at another company) sign up for the course at a subsequent date/venue 3.
Based on what we learned, we’ve made constant improvements to our architecture that have helped us to adapt to our ever changing business domain at scale and speed If you have the opportunity to receive the training, you will make a substantial paradigm shift. If I were to do the whole thing over again, I’d start the week by playing the clip from the Matrix where Morpheus offers Neo the choice between the red and blue pills. Once you make the intellectual leap, you’ll never look at distributed systems the same way. Beyond the training, we were able to spend some time with Udi discussing issues unique to our business domain. Because Udi is a rare combination of a big picture thinker and a low level doer, he can quickly hone in on various issues and quickly make good (if not startling) recommendations to help solve tough technical issues.”
“When I had the privilege of sitting through this training I did so with my team and cant say enough about how it invigorated, improved and turbo charged the mind-set and output of all who attended. Udi is a very skilful presenter and a wonderful teacher and significantly has amassed some great wisdom that anyone who is serious about building Service Oriented systems should go out of their way to experience and imbibe.”
“Awesome. Just awesome.
We’d been meaning to delve into messaging at Eleutian after multiple discussions with and blog posts from Greg Young and Udi Dahan in the past. We weren’t entirely sure where to start, how to start, what tools to use, how to use them, etc. Being able to sit in a room with Udi for an entire week while he described exactly how, why and what he does to tackle a massive enterprise system was invaluable to say the least.
We now have a much better direction and, more importantly, have the confidence we need to start introducing these powerful concepts into production at Eleutian.”
“Udi’s SOA class made me smart – it was awesome.
The class was very well put together. The materials were clear and concise and Udi did a fantastic job presenting it. It was a good mixture of lecture, coding, and question and answer. I fully expected that I would be taking notes like crazy, but it was so well laid out that the only thing I wrote down the entire course was what I wanted for lunch. Udi provided us with all the lecture materials and everyone has access to all of the samples which are in the NServiceBus trunk.
Now I know why Udi is the “Software Simplist.” I was amazed to find that all the code and solutions were indeed very simple. The patterns that Udi presented keep things simple by isolating complexity so that it doesn’t creep into your day to day code. The domain code looks the same if it’s running in a single process or if it’s running in 100 processes.”
Enterprise Development with NServiceBus
Duration: 4 days
Introduction
Udi Dahan’s “Enterprise Development with NServiceBus” course teaches you all the ins-and-outs of NServiceBus – the most popular, open-source service bus for .NET – now updated for NServiceBus 5.0. Used in production since 2006, NServiceBus is now used in hundreds of companies in finance, healthcare, retail, SaaS, web 2.0, and more.
From basic one-way messaging, through publish/ providing solutions from transactions to cross- this hands-on course will show you how simple distributed systems development can be.
Upon completion of this NServiceBus course you will know how to use all the latest features of version 5.0, implement message exchange patterns such as full duplex and pub/sub, design long-running business processes using sagas and how to manage and monitor distributed systems.
.NET developers working on distributed systems and in enterprise environments.
Course Topics
Module 1: One-Way Messaging Basics
Routing with the unicast bus
Handling messages and polymorphic dispatch
Durable and express messaging
Module 2: Advanced One-Way Messaging
Fault tolerance and transactional processing (updated for 5.0)
Error queues and administrative message replay
Authorization, impersonation, and auditing
Convention over configuration (new in 5.0)
Module 3: Customized Messaging
Unit of work management and infrastructure extension (updated for 5.0)
Dependency injection and unit testing
Web app and custom hosting
Web service integration and idempotence
Customized and centralized configuration (updated for 5.0)
Module 4: Full Duplex Basics
Callbacks and message handlers
Purging queues and discarding messages
Exposing synchronous WCF and web services (updated for 5.0)
Module 5: Advanced Full Duplex
Web cache priming
Business logic decomposition with multi-type responses
Improved ASP.NET threading with web callbacks
Crossing geographically distributed sites
Module 6: Distributed Systems Architecture Fundamentals
Module 7: Publish/Subscribe
Publishing messages
Automatic and manual subscriptions
Subscription storage – built-in, extension, and profiles
Module 8: Administration, Monitoring
Queue and service naming & installation (updated for 5.0)
Monitoring in queue-based systems
Virtualization and MSMQ configuration
Performance counters & WMI
Business Activity Monitoring
Module 9: Scaling-out and Multi-Site Messaging
Message-driven load balancing for scaling out
Master and worker profiles and configuration (updated for 5.0)
HTTP and other cross-site communication (updated for 5.0)
Module 10: Long-running business processes
Durably managing time-bound processes (updated for 5.0)
Event correlation and business activity monitoring
Process flow for integration with legacy and 3rd party systems
Unit testing
Module 11: Group Exercise
Combines SOA services, CQRS collaborative domains, and sagas for long-running processes
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Galápagos by Kurt Vonnegut.
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Galápagos
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[url=/book/show/9593.Gal_pagos?utm_medium=api&utm_source=blog_book][img]http://d./books/l/9593.jpg[/img][/url]
[url=/book/show/9593.Gal_pagos?utm_medium=api&utm_source=blog_book]Galápagos by Kurt Vonnegut[/url]
&For some people, getting pregnant is as easy as catching cold." And there certainly was an analogy there: Colds and babies were both caused by germs which loved nothing so much as a mucous membrane.&
switch to:People watching at corn stall in front of Pazhamudhir Cholai:
Mr.Stoned – Rendu corn.(Starts walking away looking like he just landed on Earth from an alien spaceship and for the love of his life, doesn’t understand where he is or what he is doing.)
Corn Guy – Saar, saar… Cup aa stick aa??
Mr.Stoned – uh?? haaa…. Apdi na?
Corn Guy – (picks up a cup in one hand and a whole corn kernel in other hand and posing exactly like these telemarketers selling dandruff creams on tv) Cup aaaaa, stick aaaaa??
Mr.Stoned – Uh… cup (and starts walking away again)
Corn Guy – Saar, yenna flavour?
Mr.Stoned – huh??
Corn Guy – Pepper and saltu, butter and saltu, masala.
Mr.Stoned – (mumbles like his voice is too precious for the world to hear it)Yennavo podunga.
Corn Guy – (slowly starting to sound like my mother when she’s about to yell at me for something) Eating aa packing aa?
Mr.Stoned – Eh?? haaa…. ummm… (looks towards the Fruit stall and starts walking as if he’s attracted towards it by the undiscovered magnetic field of oranges and apples) Yedho pannunga pannunga…
Now Corn Guy starts muttering under his breath and making the corn. Well, i did strain my ears to catch the pleasant things he was saying but unfortunately he wasn’t loud enough. He goes on to pack two cups of plain corn and then got back to his other customers. After a solid 10 mins, our guy comes out of the fruit stall empty handed, walks right next to the corn stall without as much as glancing at it, and continues walking out of the gate.
Corn Guy – Saaarrrr, saaaaaaaarrr……. Yoooooovvvvvvvv!!
Mr. Stoned has safely crossed the road.
Corn Guy – Saavu kraaki, vandhu serraanunga paaru, $#@$#, $$#!# &insert (in)appropriate family/mother/sister scolding here&
My genuine kostin : Ganja vaa illa patta saaraayama??
———————————————————————————————————–
Ms.Salwar kameez with gym shoes (hereafter referred to as Ms.SKWGS) – Annaaaa…annaaaa
Corn Guy doesn’t seem too pleased with this newly forming paasamalar relationship.
“One cup corn. Half steamed. No pepper. No salt. No butter. No chat masala. ”
Corn guy mutters under his breath ‘Corn aavadhu podalaama illa adhuvum venaama’ which Ms. SKWGS conveniently ignores. He hands her the cup starts to make the next one.
“Annaaa, this corn is too steamed. I want half steamed only.”
Corn guy gives her a blank look and bends down again.
“Can you just take some corn seperately and heat it just for 3 and a half minutes with0ut adding water and give me. Annaaaa?? This is just killing all the nutrients in the corn. It is not at all healthy…”
“Dha paaru maa..Venaaam na vechittu poikittee iru.”
Ms.SKWGS mutters “Kaasu kuduthiten la.. Yaen solla maata” and walks away.
My genuine kostin: Ivlo healthy ya saaptu yenna dhaan saadhikka poreenga??
——————————————————————————————————————
Very rotund aunty balancing two bags filled with grocery, one more with fruits and yelling into phone while giving instructions to the Corn Guy.
“Oru corn. Cup.” Goes back to yelling into the phone to Chinnu who apparently has chosen not to do the day’s homework.
“Yenna flavor madam? Pepper and saltu, butter and saltu…”
“Butter. Chinnuuuuu, Amma solradhu kekala night pizza vaangi thara maaten. ”
“Madam masala podalaama?”
“B-U-T-T-E-R. CHINUUUU… Kadhula vizhudha illaya daaaaa???”
“Ummmm madam, pepper….”
“BUTTER PODUNGA. YETHANA THADAVA SOLRADHU?? NERAYA PODUNGA. CHINNUU… PIZZA VA UPMA VA? OZHUNGA HOMEWORK PANNU!!”
Now corn guy seems really scared and puts three spoonfuls of butter into the small cup of corn and thrusts it humbly into the aunty’s hands.
She got into a waiting car and screamed at the driver to go to….. well,no points for guessing this one. Pizza Hut.
Ok, We get it. Butter. Cheese. Pizza. Anything fattening.
————————————————————————————————————-
P.S. No, you are not allowed to ask whether I was so vetti and jobless to eavesdrop on a sweet corn seller’s conversation for so long. It is known. It is understood. Move on.
Moral of the story – Selling corn is a tough job.
So I fulfilled my first resolution of the New Year. Ok, I did it only because I wanted to do it very badly, but still just saying. Unlike last year when I ‘saw’ the Chennai Book Fair (henceforth very creatively referred to as CBF) from a moving vehicle almost one kilometer away from the entrance, because that’s how the long the entry queues were, I ‘went’ to CBF this time. Yes! Now CBF is something that I fantasize about for a full year, and then finally don’t make it when it’s on and remain disappointed for the rest of the year. Rows and rows of books stacked high, the smell of freshly printed paper, the haphazard wandering about in narrow corridors, drinking tea off small paper cups while fingering through newly bought books, the sweet corn and pani puri stalls, ok almost everything about the fair gives me a high just thinking about it. Having spent the entire last year sulking about not being able to go, I promptly made it this time armed with loads of reccos, not-so-much of cash, a ‘carrier’ who I’ll need in case I buy LOTS of books (carrier = P, of course) and a mighty bad cold.
I had managed to snoop around the CBF venue several times during the week and my first impression
was ‘Wow, they are majorly e-ottifying(which in case you don’t know, is the highly entertaining and productive occupation of shooing away flies and mosquitoes with bare hands, without the aid of advanced technology like the kosu-bat)this year!’. There was absolutely no crowd at the Fair during weekdays but I went on a holiday expecting sparse crowds perhaps, but Chennai had other plans. Half an hour after opening time, the place was packed and parking was already becoming a pain in unmentionable places. After managing to park in a weed-filled ditch and buying entrance tickets, rushed off inside the venue and whoa, it was as big as ever! And a LOT better organized as well. There were six or seven long neat columns dotted with separate shops for individual publishers/booksellers on either side. The place was well lit and the most useful feature was the presence of these huge hoardings right at the entrance to the columns listing out the shop names and numbers that are present there. Very nice touch! I remember this being there earlier also but it was a bit haphazardly done but this time it was done well. Thanks to these hoardings I didn’t have to navigate through the entire 600 plus shops to buy my books. I could just look at the board and check for the publishers who I want to visit and directly land there. Ka-ching!
This time I had gone to CBF with my mind fixed exclusively on Thamizh books because in Tamil Nadu’s capital city Singaara Chennai, hot-shot posh bookshops find it humiliating to stock up on thamizh literature except for absolutely indispensable treasures like ’60 ??? ???? ??????’ and ’30 ????????? ???????? ?????? ??????’. So when you find separate rows for Twilight series and Chicken soup for the Agony aunt’s soul(ok, kidding), you hardly find a single shelf allocated for Thamizh books in Landmark or Odyssey. So CBF is the only time/place to stock up on regional reading unless you are superhuman enough to know how to order books from obscure publishing houses in Madurai or Kanyakumari. So I had my mental list all ready and scanned the hoardings for Uyirmai, Kaalachuvadu, Vijaya Padhipagam and other thamizh publishers and headed straight to these stalls. I did look around a bit here and there but amidst one stall of serious thamizh literature, I found fifteen others selling Panchatantra stories and self-help trash. And, as always these stalls were the most popular, being thronged by screaming kids and house wives looking to reach their man’s heart through the most obvious route – the stomach. Nice ambience actually if you don’t mind the pushing/jostling and high decibel levels.
Among the Thamizh publishers, Uyirmai attracted the largest crowds. I was even a bit surprised to see that there was hardly any standing space inside the Uyirmai stall with people jostling with full enthu and trying to grab books vigorously from shelves. And these people weren’t even the ‘Come-here-and-I-will-give-you-a-long-lecture-on-Sangam-literature’ jolna pai-soda butti wearing intellectual old types. They were all men and women, sorry, ONLY men of my age group, all under 30 and all looking very interested in S.Ra and Je Mo as much as they would be in Mc Donald’s burgers and evenings at some pub. In fact, it was such a relief to be at the Uyirmai stall after escaping the screeching kids and their screaming mothers in the other stalls. My only gripe at the stall was that I was the ONLY girl there and I couldn’t really hustle and jostle with hundred other men to lay my hands on the books. Now this is where the ‘Carrier’ comes into picture. Given his total distaste for books and reading of any kind except the technical, knowledge enhancing variety (yes, I live full time with a creature that you-tubes ‘brush gear assembly welding’ videos for ‘fun’ and orders Advanced mechanical technology from Amazon. Build me a temple? ), P was being extremely nice and considerate, deftly catching and carrying all those books I threw him while being sandwiched between Guy-wanting-Sujatha-book and Guy-wanting-Jeyamohan book. He even gave me occasional suggestions like pointing out towards Sujatha’s introduction to Silapadhigaaram and saying ‘hey, that looks like something you may want to read!’ (Though his face looked totally distorted like the book was a slime ball worm and it was something I might want to eat and not read). I was happy he at least knew it was something I might want to read. And after frantic hurling of about 20 books into his now-buckling-under-pressure arms, I finally looked a bit apologetic about such a crazy haul, he magnanimously smiled and said, ‘Oh, no problem, buy as many as you want. Stock up.’ Of course, my eyes were beginning to widen like a tea saucer so he added, ‘As long as YOU pay for them.’ Being reminded about having to pay for them was my cue and I almost ran out of the stall to stop myself from looking or touching another book only to find myself in a serpentine queue at billing. Now wait, what was that? The cashier was totaling up values on his calculator and writing out a hand bill! Hello Uyirmai, pliss to be introduced to computers and databases! As the guy was furiously scratching ineligible book names on the bill and totaling up values (as fast as he was), a couple of people even dropped out of the queue, leaving their books behind. What a way to lose precious customers, especially when you are already running losses and a huge book fair like this would be a very important opportunity to raise revenues. Uyirmai please get electronic billing and ERP next year. Trust me, it’s not all that expensive. These things come as cheap as mobile phones these days and are an investment for any self respecting business venture.
I didn’t find any major cons at CBF this time. Maybe they could have had a couple of volunteers to guide people to issued pamphlets with stall locations because when the place gets crowded, it’s not feasible for a lot of people to stand near the entrance hoardings and search for the stalls they want to visit.
So there, after two hours of blissful book shopping, left the place to spend the rest of the Sunday smelling the books, reading blurbs and writing my name on all of them. After ages, a holiday well spent!
A friend was going through a very tough time recently. She put on a brave front and tried to keep it all inside until one day she could take it no more and burst
out with it to me. Clutching the phone so close to the ear that it hurt, I listened going increasingly numb with each passing second. She went on for what seemed like an eternity. I hadn’t uttered a single word through the entire conversation. Well, not really a conversation, more of a monologue. After unloading all that had been clogging her mind and eating into her life for so long, she hung up and I was left still clutching the phone tight to the ear, helplessly wondering if there was something I should have said to make her feel better. Something wise or witty. But well, as it was, I had not known what to say and she had hung up already. I felt stupid, lousy and totally not fit to be an agony aunt. A couple of days later she called back again.
“Hey…” she started, “I just hung up the other day. Didn’t even say bye…”
“Well, I didn’t even talk, for starters, so don’t you worry”
“Yeah, that’s what I called about. Thanks for listening Mi. Honestly. I’m so glad I spoke to you. I’m so glad ‘I’ spoke. For once I wasn’t listening to advice or being judged or getting scolded. I spoke. God knows after how long. Thanks for that. Really.”
I opened my mouth to say something, stopped, opened and closed the mouth two more times like a fish, and closed it shut again. Now was NOT the best time to tell her that I had actually been quiet and listened so much not because I was patient, understanding or sensitive but actually because I didn’t know what to say, how to console or what advice to give. Looks like my ignorance actually paid off and she felt much better after that monologue. Later rewinding that conversation, I understood that whatever she had said was absolutely true. Sometimes all you want is for people to listen to you. Just listen and not judge the situation, judge you, judge everybody around. I’ve felt the most relieved after long monologues with friends, after swearing, bitching and endlessly cribbing about how unfair things were, after dumping out all my angst in all possible ways, but mostly I’ve felt the best when they’ve just Listened. Listened and probably squeezed a hand or given a big hug or whispered a ‘it’s ok, this will pass’ over the phone. But what matters above everything else is that they listened. So maybe the next time someone comes to me with a problem, I’ll not be constructing soothing replies and tactical agony-aunt advice in my mind while pretending to listen to what they’re saying on the outside. Maybe I’ll just shut everything out and simply lend a ear. Because some things are best said when they’re left unsaid.
On a totally unrelated note, I realised that I’m so sentimentally attached to a lot of things in life that I’ve been using some stuff for years and years. Like, while combing today, I just realised that I’ve been using the same wide toothed pink comb for the *gasp* past eight years. I am not kidding. I’ve misplaced that comb many times, felt miserable thinking its lost but have always found it under the bed or below the medicine cabinet. It always comes back to me. And I don’t even feel like I’ve combed my hair if I don’t use THAT particular comb. How weird is that!
Ditto with Jemi, the stuffed pillow JP gifted me on a birthday couple of years ago.
I don’t sleep hugging stuffed toys or pillows (eeks!!), but if I don’t see Jemi propped majestically on the study table as soon as I wake up, as soon as I enter the room and as the last thing before I leave home in the morning, I end up feeling queasy all through the day, until I’ve seen Jemi in her usual place again. I get completely psyched out of I don’t find the particular pair of earphones I’ve been using for the past five years or if
that tattered bag I bought when I started college can’t be found when I look for it. It freaks me out that I’m so attached to these ‘things’. They’re not expensive, they’re not the best but somehow the memories attached to such stuff makes them all the more precious. I guess everybody has some stuff which brings back memories of fun times, of laughter and happiness, of friends and family, whenever they look at it. Maybe an old comb, a favorite dress, an autographed book or an old birthday card. And such things are treasured not for what they are but for what remind you of. Oh, and what do I say,talking and thinking up stuff like this, I freak myself out most of the time!!?
*Dedication Update*
This post is dedicated to Kavitha who I think is the only soul in the world who wants to read me and bugs me to death to write. Even if its nonsense. Thanks Kavi
When all else fails, there is music.
I’ve always wanted to make a list of the music that touches my heart – the kind of music that makes me laugh, that makes me nostalgic and gets me teary eyed,
the music which gets me tapping my feet and singing along with eyes closed, the songs that I turn to for solace when nothing seems to be going right, the songs that echo into the depths of my ears as I battle to bridge the space between sleep and wakefulness at nights. This is the first of many posts to follow, on the music that I live with. These are ten songs that are ALWAYS part of my playlist, irrespective of mood and time. Songs that I can never ever skip through to listen to the next number or change the channel when they play on television. These Thamizh melodies are some of the songs that I grew up with and I’m sure these will remain with me till I die.
Exactly in order of my preference, here we go…
Paartha nyaabagam illayo
Music: MS. Viswanathan
Singer: P. Susheela
Lyrics: Kannadasan
Film: Pudhiya Paravai (1964)
???? ??? ?????????????
?? ?????????????? ????? ?????
???? ???? ??????? ??? ?????
???? ???? ??????? ??? ?????
A charming, debonair Sivaji, gracefully elegant,divine looking Sowcar Janaki, wistful lyrics with a touch of mysticism that seem to denote the torrential events to unfurl, sweeping melody and above all, the magical voice of P.Susheela. What’s not to love about this song? The outstanding orchestral arrangements at the time of minimal technology, the sounds blending into each other in layers without cluttering, but adding beauty as embellishments, the stylised singing befitting a stage singer, the song is perfect in every conceivable way. Every time I listen to this song, it makes me feel like I’m floating somewhere, weightless, nameless and ageless. This is the song of my lifetime.
Thenmadhurai vaigai nadhi
Music: Ilayaraaja
Singers: Malaysia Vasudevan, S P Balasubrahmanyam , P Susheela
Film: Dharmathin thalaivan (1978)
??????????? ???????? ????
??????? ??? ??? ????
??? ????????? ?????? ?????…
My playlist is never ever complete without this song. I’ve listened to this 40 times on loop once. Right from the piano bit that the song begins with, to that short and sweet cameo sung by Susheelamma at the end, to the seamless juxtaposing of the voices of SPB and Malaysia Vasudevan, to the simple yet lovingly earnest lyrics, I love every single note of this number. In fact, my love affair with Ilayaraaja’s music began with this song. For long, this remained the only Raaja song on my playlist. I was painfully ignorant of the Maestro’s other works and like a horse with blinkers, stuck to Rahman and the English music of my growing up years. The night this song played endlessly on my loop, it struck me as weird that I never tried discovering the music of the man who gave me this song that I love so much. That was the night I actually discovered Raaja and his music. The song remains all the more closer to my heart for that reason. And also, I loved Rajni in this song . He looked oh so dashing!!
Pennala pennala
Music: A.R.Rahman
Singer: S P Balasubrahmanyam
Lyrics: Vaali
Film: Uzhavan (1993)
???????????? ???????? ??????????? ?????????????????
????????????????? ???????? ?????? ???????? ??????? ???????…
One of Rahman’s earlier numbers, this belongs to that age when his music was uncluttered and not too complicated to have to listen to it a million times before liking it. A man is about to wed and he describes his soon-to-be-bride to another woman in a fun, yet lovable way. I simply love Vaali’s lyrics, more so ever after seeing how women are described these days (case in point:
Kai thodum dhooram kaachavale. Yen pasi theeka vandhavale). SPB owns this song and how! This might be one of the very few instances when Rahman used minimal layering to great effect. A simple tune, some captivating lyrics, graceful, elegant singing and you have a bouncer of a song. My favorite lullaby, I’m always half asleep with a smile on my face by the time this song ends.
Thoda thoda malarndhadhenna
Music: A.R.Rahman
Singers: S P Balasubrahmanyam, Chitra.
Lyrics: Vairamuthu
Film: Indira (1995)
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???????????? ??????? ??????? ?????????…
The song opens to sounds of the forest, chirping of birds and flourishes mellifluously under the always awesome SPB-Chitra combination. Right from SPB’s magical voice starting to croon thoda thoda following a wispy flute note, this song is a lilting winner all the way. The entire song has a reminiscing tone, the mood shifting from love, passion, trepidation and sensuousness as the lyrics flow by. The sharp violin turns in the second interlude with the flute playing in between, when the grown up child-lovers kiss on screen is sheer genius. It’s almost like we hear their hearts beating fast with fear tinged passion. And most of all, the layering in music is not overdone and fits the song like a glove. A perfect midnight listen.
Raasaathi unna kaanaadha nenju
Music: Ilayaraaja
Singer: P. Jeyachandran
Film: Vaidehi Kaathirundhaal (1984)
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?????? ????? ???????????? ??????
????????? ???????? ?? ?? ?????…
The ultimate pathos song for ages to come. The true beauty of the song lies in the fact that it has quite a cheerful melodic ring to it yet manages induce a sense of loss every time it’s heard. There is no sonorous single violin weeping in the background. No dragging choruses.
Instead all we have is some fabulous heavy duty opening orchestration and the crystal clear voice of Jeyachandran evoking bygone memories of a loved one. What I love about the song is that it brings out the very essence of Gabtun (err.. palakka dhosham)
Vijayakanth’s character in the movie. He isn’t wilting in the memory of the girl he so loved with all his heart. He isn’t singing sad ballads and waiting to die. He revels in the memories he has of her, of the anklet clad feet, jasmine flowers , the smile and the scent, he knows she lives within him and sings for her, with her, each night. If at all anyone feels the magnitude of his loss when he sings ‘vaazhndhaaga vendum, vaa vaa kanne’ it’s us, the listeners. That, my friends is the magic of the man called Ilayaraaja.
Minnale ni vandhadhaenadi
Music: A.R.Rahman
Singer: S P Balasubramanyam
Lyrics: Vairamuthu
Film: May Maadham
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???????????? ?????????????? ????????????
???? ?????????????? ????? ??????? ????????????…
The only other defining pathos song in Thamizh cinema in the last three decades. Magician SPB working wonders with his malleable voice yet again. Unlike ‘raasaathi unna’ which reflects an almost stoic , unconditional love that stands untarnished even with death, this number portrays the yearning and dejection of a young man who’s seen a sliver of sunshine in his petty life, only to be plucked unceremoniously off it just as he starts to bask under its warmth and glory. She is gone. He won’t accept it. The memories haunt him not to give strength but only to tear him apart. With lyrics like ‘kanneeril thee valarththu kaathirukiren, un kaaladithadathil naan poothirukiraen’, the pain is raw and immense. The agony of separation brought out in deep lows in the lyrics and the soaring waves of sadness in the stanza interludes, coupled with the dark visuals that complement the music, this song makes sense to anyone who has loved and lost. No, it makes perfect sense to anyone who’s loved.
Maraindhirundhe paarkum
Music: K.V.Mahadevan
Singer: P.Susheela
Film: Thillana Mohanambal
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?????? ?????????? ???? ?? ?????????
????? ????? ????? ???????…
Being a sucker for classical song-dance numbers (this love affair was extinguished unceremoniously after watching the visuals of that beautiful number ‘sowkiyamaa’ in Sangamam. The least they could have done is use an actress who could *dance* and not just pose.), it’s no surprise that I love this Mother of all classical dance numbers. Padmini overshadows anybody else on screen with that most dazzling screen presence, dance and expressions (for once even the man of a million expressions, Sivaji Ganesan is reduced to a side show behind a pillar), but if there’s someone who manages to even outshine the queen of dance, its none other than
P. Susheela. What Padmini does with a hundred mudras and all the swirling dance moves, Susheela
manages to do better with a honey laced voice that textures itself to wrap around the song like a fresh coat of warm fuzzy chocolate over melting ice cream. Especially when she sings that almost-a-whisper-almost-a-caress ‘Shanmugaa’ at the end of each charanam, one can’t help closing the eyes and just enjoying the divine rendition. Yes, I close my eyes even at Padmini. Susheelamma deserves that.
Sundhari, kannaal oru seidhi
Music: Ilayaraaja
Singers: S P Balasubrahmanyam, S Janaki
Lyrics: Vairamuthu
Film: Thalapathy (1991)
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?????????? ????? ?? ????? ??????????…
A love ballad. Poetry in sound and motion. A gem of a composition. Starting with the sound of ringing bells and the sound of approaching men and horse hooves with a flute playing raw bamboo sounds in what seems to be a somewhat distant land, this song is magical to say the least. The opening orchestration which throws up a million tiny details before giving way to the first pallavi, never fails to give me goosebumps every time I listen to it. I’m not much of a fan of S.Janaki but I love her in this song and I’m already tired of writing about how wonderful a singer SPB is. If I could grant immortality to one man, I’d choose this honey throated gentle giant. I have no words to describe the ease with with the pallavi and charanam blend into each other at the end of each stanza. All I know is this is how a song should sound and feel like. Just perfect.
Anal mele paniththuli
Music: Harris Jayaraj
Singer: Sudha Raghunathan
Lyrics: Thaamarai
Film: Vaaranam Aayiram
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???? ????????????? ???????? ???????????
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?????????? ????????? ????????????????? ???????????…
The only Harris Jayaraj number I call a favorite. If this song sounds as haunting and old-worldly as it does, I think a major chunk of the credit should go to Sudha Raghunathan. Being sung by a renowned classical singer, the song might have become a showcase for her sangadhis and become gimmicky but she sings the song with so much restrain and charm, allowing the trained singer in her to surface only when required, that you can’t help marveling at the beauty of it. Also this is one of the very few songs where Harris doesn’t arrange the music to sound like a church choir song. And on top, the lyrics are a dream.
Who thinks up stuff like a dewdrop on a flame and
raindrop in search of a tree these days? Thaamarai is the woman and she rocks this song big time.
Music: Vidyasagar
Singers: Sriram Parthasarathy, Sadhana Sargam
Lyrics: Vairamuthu
Film: Anbe Sivam
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Vidyasagar does melodies quite well. Earlier there was malare mounamaa, another lilting melody, but Poovaasam belonged more to my times. The singer Sriram Parthasarathy (For a long time I thought it was Vijay Prakash) holds the song with his amazing singing right from the first few notes and never lets attention waver from him. Sadhana Sargam has no choice but to play second fiddle in this number, and she deserves it for her blasphemous mispronunciations of Thamizh here. In fact, Sadhana’s singing which gets slightly shrill when she touches the higher notes is the only dampener for me in this otherwise beauty of a song. And oh, Kiran Rathod also dampens the visual effect a bit but what the heck, when Kamal Hassan scorches the screen as the dignified Nalla Sivam, who dares looking at anything else?
So then, just writing about these numbers spread a warm glow to my heart and a cheer to my face. Until I meet you again with my favorite dance hits, dappankuththus, item numbers, thathuva paatu etc etc, Live with the Music.
Hahahahahahaaaaa… No I’ve not lost it. I signed into my Gmail today wanting to clear up the mess in my inbox and ended up reading some of the most enlightening, thought provoking, life altering chat conversations I’ve had recently. They were so out of the world that I couldn’t resist posting some here.??
This one was after a bessshhht friend who is an ‘almost’ journalist went to a World Cinema film festival with her first free Press Pass. God save World and Cinema!!
me: how did the film festival go?
padam la nalla irundhucha
u shud ve taken A (A, if you are reading this, note how highly I think of your cinema
appreciation sensibilities.? )
he’d have enjoyed it much
orey bore ya
I have realised I don’t have the patience for non commercial cinema man
me: u have patience for nothing non commercial
not just cinema
R: its soooo long and the camera dwells on each subject for at least 30 seconds and u
wanna tear ur hair out. see I don’t have the patience for looking at a man trimming his moustache for more than 2 seconds and 20 seconds of tat is like whoaaa
me: adhu kooda parava illa .. these film critics will write ‘that scene where he’s seen
trimming his moustache is so profound in detail’
me: as if avan meesai vetradhu holds the key to life
R: bulls eye man
one review I read celebrated him trimming his moustache
and I was like WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
me: nejamava??
na summa velayaatukku sonaen
R: no man SERIOUS
“Basically he doesn’t want to be bothered. He doesn’t want to take the pains of finding a groom for his sister, which he knows will invite trouble about division of property etc. He is a man who is totally engrossed in himself. Throughout the film you see
manicuring his fingers, tr oiling his body. He doesn’t share his fears, dreams or thoughts with anyone. He is obsessed with himself.”
idhu ellam 30 30 seconds ku film la kaatuva
aaaaaaaaaargh
oiling his body
George clooney body a irundha kooda parvailla
me: “the director makes a very subtle yet profound statement by holding his scissors at a 29 degree angle while trimming his moustache in leisure. Shows the vagaries and suffering of having a moustache and trimming it periodically in an understated yet impactful manner”
R: this u wrote a?
me: na art film critic aaga poren ya
can I use it in my review?
me: yeah I wrote
me: it’s the easiest I think
yaarkum puriyaadha madhri pesanum.
Early Monday morning. This girl, another close friend, pings first thing as soon as I switch on the laptop hoping for a good trouble free day. Confirms that my prayers are never ever answered.
K: Life is like a mountain. Reaching its peak is my aim. However trails are difficult to go through. But what’s important are – The lessons I’ve learned, Challenges I’ve experienced, and the people I’m with in my journey.
me: (thinking WTF) good morning de
K: good morning
paaru kalailaye am giving u such thought provoking quotes
yenna koduma sir idhu
25 minutes later… K
attacks again.
25 minutes
K: It’s not the presence of someone that brings meaning to life. But the way someone
touches your heart gives LIFE a beautiful meaning.
me: hey yenna di idhellaam??
yenna problem??
asingama thittu vaanga pora ni
K: status messages de
life bore adikkudhu nu sonnela
so am making it lively
me: (????)
Sabba!! What amazing friends I have!! What lengths they go to, to make life interesting for me!! Priceless!!
This again with my gonna-be journo friend after I gave her a link on how Gabtun is on
a recruitment hunt for Captain TV and told her she shouldn’t miss this opportunity of a lifetime for anything in the world. From Gabtun and cricket to Shahid and Priyanka, the bitching never ends.? Srtictly not for Shahid Kapoor and Priyanka Chopra fans.
Thanks for the link ya
totally saved my life ya
ever grateful a irrupen unnaku na
me: i know yaaaaaaaaaar
R: *happy tears in eyes*
me: gabtun roxxxxxxx
R: totally yaar. captain toh ttly roxxx
me: i had those in my eyes too when I saw the link
felr sooooooooooo bad I wasn’t a journalist or into media
? u are sooooo lucky…
R: hey wat u rnt typin lik a moron. Lolzzzzz.. wat uncool lik u r typin full spllings and all?
thnxxxxxxxxxx
vry vry lcky i m
me: ITS THIS STUPID CHENNAI INFLUENCE YAAR
me: chennai suxxxxxx
R: yaa. suxxx yaar. so hot dis city
alwys swtin
me: so happie dey lost ystrdy
aye balle balle
R: ya. so gld tat our gony (pnjabi guy na. lolzzzzz) plyed bad shots
me: super kings suxxx wonly cuz it has chennai in its name yaar
R: haan yaar. ttly
R: and preity wuz lukin soo hottt yaar
and yvraj’s tummy was lik so sexxxy
me: hey yaaaaaaaaar.. that trisha TOTALLY suxxxxxxxxxx (this is actually true)
R: shkin and movin and all
and tat ramesh powar toh luks lik southie only
and yuck like southie
lolzzzzzzzzzz
ya. trisha suxxxx, preity roxxxx
hahahahahahahaha
R: yenna achu?
me: my senior managers looking at me like I am crazy
R: and yenaala rhomba neram amit madri pesa mudiyadhu
me: I am laughing at the monitor like anything
R:?. me too
but seriously u should read shahid kapoor’s tweets man
mudiala yennala
Don’t tell me
I god damn follow that fellow
R: “I’m Doin rubbish in da song I think but somehow ahmed khan always makes my rubbish look bearable”
I’m also going to from now on
dear mr. kapoor one sumaal correcson. u r not doing rubbish. U R rubbish
me: but by rule I am polite on twitter
should just unfollow him I guess
R: ahh. i dont have any such rules. the point is even if I tweet rudely to him, not like he is gonna read and change
me: and EVERYDAY he says “ok tweeps me leavin 4 de day be bak and KEEP IT REALLLLLL”
saniyan avan
me: i feel like asking him man, are you for real?
unna pethaangala senjaangala
R: keep it real a? what the hell does that mean? *censored unprintable question here*
me: that too that good actor pankaj kapoor
I have doubts about his birth these days
R: serious a. perfect a in the middle of UP la oru field lendhu idha thookindu vandhiruppa nu i think. yuckk
me: worse yet is that priyanka chopra
ARRRGHHHHH
R: heyy. i aint following her
adhuvum ipdi dhaana?
me: me neither
sometimes ppl RT her
I think she SHOULD marry shahid kapoor
the child would be a nightmare
R: lolzzzzzzzzzz
(Good news now is that there’s a Shayad Kapoor on Twitter who deciphers what Shahid Kapoor says and tweets them. Too bad it ends our Shahid bashing.)
A totally demented conversation with dear friend RK avargal. Probably Ayirathil Oruvan effect but I really don’t understand why we started talking like this all of a sudden. That too both of us without any provocation like it was the most natural way to talk in the world.
RK: vanakkam
nalla irukiya?
me: nandraga ullen veti dog avargale
thaangal epodhum pola vetiyaagave uleergala?
RK: ippadi eppadi paesalam M avargale….naan eppodhum busy busy busy
me: hahahaha
ungal ku ore kaamedy thaan pongal
ka ka ka pooooooo (Pulikesi effect vera.. :D)
RK: he he he…mannaruku konjam kusumbhu adhigam dhaan…:)
veru yenna visesham?
makkal yaavarum nalamaaga ulaargala?
RK: neenga sollunga M?…em makkal anaivarum mika magizhchi odu ullargal
ungal rajiyathilirudhu aethaenum nalla seithi undo?
me: oru nolla seidhi… saari nalla seidhiyum illai mannaa’
makkal migundha bore’l ulllargal
R: he he he…
There are say, 100 plus such conversations which when revealed would lead to serious research on the evolution (or de- evolution) of the human brain. Scintillating questions like ‘What is the difference between tomato puree and tomato ketchup’, in-depth analysis of the mental faculties of others when our own faculties are bad enough to be put under observation, depressing rants, unforgivable mokkais and pure, unadulterated crap. Thank you, you mental people, my friends for all the entertainment these conversations provide long after they’re over. Any time, any day, they always put a wide smile on my face!
So, who are you chatting with now?
Filmmakers stamp their identity on each film they make. Like how a new born inherits from the gene pool of its parents and has brown eyes like the mother or stubby toes like the father, a film takes its all from the maker. Kids outgrow parents but a film can never outgrow its maker. Quentin Tarantino’s films, for instance, can be sniffed miles away from their format – long witty, thrilling or plain dangerous dialogue portions followed by bursts of brutal violence. His films are like stretching a string to its tautest, breaking point and then suddenly letting go. The violent twang resonates long after the string stops vibrating. James Cameron as we know by now, is more into ‘how you tell a story’ rather than ‘what is the story’. His films are lavish, unbelievably budgeted, shot like a dream and pull masses like a magnet. Trust me, if I had the vision to make a film like Avatar, it wouldn’t have let me sleep peacefully for the entire period I spend making it – which would have been ten years or more. But the man is incredibly collected about it, knows his job and is even gracious enough to put the Oscar snubbing behind and talk of the future already. Back home, a Mani Ratnam work is set apart by its distinct filming. Semi darkness, short one word repartee-like dialogues, urban tales, beautiful cinematography and classy music. Likewise Bharathi Raaja
is inseparable from
his deep baritone, yen iniya thamizh makkale and rural earthy subjects. Shankar is grandiose, Bala is morbid, Balu Mahendra is true to life and so the list goes on. The world is not ignorant to behind-the-screen geniuses anymore. When ManiRatnam made Dil Se with the mighty Shah Rukh Khan, It was and is still known more as the director’s product than the superstar actor’s. ‘A film by’ is no longer a push-over tag.
Last week, I managed to catch a film which had its maker’s name written in pink comic sans font with a Mont Blanc limited edition pen all over it. A film raved implausibly by critics who called even the few who lashed out at the film ‘perennial pessimists’, a film which orchestrated a much higher octane drama outside the theatres rather than inside them, the very Indian film by the very patriotic maker who chooses to wail down at least one Bharat Mata song at a crucial crunch scene in his film but premieres his films outside the country. The film which saw the usually ruthless Bollywood churn out whole hearted support to the superstar who knows he’s been proved right when he unabashedly calls himself the Badshah of Bollywood. The film though at the risk of sounding megalomaniac, is very aptly titled My Name is Khan.
With MNIK, they say, Karan Johar has broken away the shackles which bound him to designer clothes and glass palaces. I say, Eh? Mr. Johar undoubtedly stamps his name all over his product with perfectly manicured, rolex wearing hands but is that any indication that the end product spells class? As the film closed, the last frame freezing at ‘A Karan Johar film’, I remember thinking warily ’Right. Like we couldn’t see this all along.’
You know it’s absolutely a Karan Johar film when
Shah Rukh Khan is lovingly caressed by the camera from all possible angles and directions with unending close ups. It’s as though the camera has a love affair with him and thinks it’s a sin to shoot even a single frame without him in it.
There is ALWAYS a song being sung in chorus to ruin a perfectly well shot poignant moment. I loved that scene in church when SRK eulogises about his dead son in that typical Asperger’s way and just when we have those tears welling up at the corner of our eyelids and the lips start to quiver (very SRK-ish, I know) they start holding hands and singing ‘We shall overcome’ happily as if it was some strange fancy dress party in a Church. All the pain and suffering that was so evident a moment ago is conveniently forgotten. To top it up, the Americans sing in English and SRK in Hindi. I felt like this Bakra victim on MTV. Next time Johar plans to ruin such a scene, I think he should just make an appearance on screen and say, “Ok, now here comes the patriotic song I promised to keep in the movie. Wipe away the tears. This is a happy, hope giving, la-la-la chorus song. Enjoy.”
Rizwan Khan(SRK) travels day and night, hitching rides and on foot many a days, repairing his way through money but miraculously manages to stay as fresh as a newly blooming lily through all this. Face always cleanly shaven, make-up impeccably hiding his age and designer jackets to keep warm. He’s even punched on the nose once by a policeman and bleeds but by the time he’s in jail the bleeding is gone and everything is ‘made up’. Not a scar, not a swelling. When Kajol cries, a drop of tear runs down one corner of her left eye taking care not to ruin the mascara. When SRK is beaten up, blood trickles down his right nostril artistically so that maybe we wouldn’t have to feel his pain. And even when Kajol
laments hysterically, holding her son’s dead body in her hands, she wears a perfectly tailored pure white blouse without a single crease, with the hair styled perfectly and not a strand out of place. We are never allowed a glimpse of what Mandira goes through, what Rizwan’s life is or what post 9/11 life means. All we can see is the larger than life ShahRukh Khan, Kajol in
Gucci, Louis Vitton and Manish Malhotra as the camera worships them frame after frame.
If not a karan Johar film, what else is this?
ShahRukh Khan needs to meet the President. Ok. But why is he made to sit writing letters in the Arizona desert for that? IS the President going to be there to inaugurate a new irrigation project? And why should he pedal a bicycle to motor out rain water? Was it stone age when electricity couldn’t be used to power motors? You can pedal a bicyle all day long to punp out water, stupid. Only thing, the work’s done faster using electricity. And not knowing that is not brilliant but plain moronic and stupid.
So there. It’s a Karan Johar film all the way. He scares me more when he’s making these so-called sensitive issue based movies than when he’s making those KKHH’s and K3G’s. At least you didn’t have to take those seriously.
P.S. I did like MNIK. No, really. SRK has nice dimples. And I loved his duck-walk in the film. So cute!
P.P.S. Shankar-Ehsaan-Loy are getting so boring and repetitive. Yawn.
that couldn’t bring me out of self-imposed exile from blogging.
1. The stupendous success of Vinnaiththaandi Varuvaaya.VTV songs on every channel every minute of the day, VTV specials all the time, VTV ringtones and caller tunes all around! But strangely, though I liked the film,
I didn’t even feel like tweeting or buzzing , let alone blogging about it when the whole of Tamil Nadu was obsesssing over the movie. It was then that I realised I had a blogging block which would be a tad too difficult to shake off.
2. The Great Indian Budget. Yawn.
3. New Secretariat Building. The extremely fascinating
battery car which had the Chief Minister, Prime Minister and the Master Pupeteer huddled into it like these small kids in theme park toy cars, was a very tempting attraction, yes. But not tempting enough to blog yet.Instead of blogging, all I did was to have macabre sinister thoughts on how that would have been an ideal assasination location for terrorists who wanted to finish off 3 major thala(vali)s of the Nation in one go.
4. IPL and the overflowing love for Kolkata Knight Riders. The Go KKR’s and Korbo Lorbo somethings that people seem to be throwing at SRK on twitter ever since IPL started, made me want to scratch my nails on a wall. But no sir, it sure didn’t make me want to blog about it.
5. The five crore Mayawati garland. This one was real juicy with all the makings of a masala potboiler. The chauvinistic cruel landlord surrounded by goons, evil Akshaykumar like laughter, poor people huddling around at the mansion gates in pouring rain waiting for a glimpse of the landlord, he abusing them and kicking… errr… Glad I didn’t actually write a blogpost about it right? Right.
6. Absolutely utter monotony in life. Wake up.Work at home.Eat. Work at office.Eat.Work at home.Eat. Sleep. This day after day, month after month.
Now if THIS couldn’t get me back to blogging, what on Earth could? Nothing? I thought so too.
But apparently there was one such thing. It might be old news but it caught my attention only today and it got me soooooo worked up and soooooooo excited that I almost shed copious tears of joy and relief and typed out this post in 5 minutes flat. At a time of unforeseen economic downtime and recession since the Great Depression of the ;s, at a time filled with political tensions and worldwide wars, at a time of great disparity of living standards with the depths of suffering and the heights of luxury co-existing among one another, here comes the ONE and ONLY hope. The one ultimate solution to end all pain and suffering. The one most potent device to wipe out all terrorists from
the face of the world and send them all to moon with a mighty kick. The one stop shop to alleviate poverty, abolish racism and uplift people. The one and only means of deflecting hurricanes and tsunamis back to the ocean, protecting the environment from global warming and stopping alarming weather changes. The one event of utmost national/international/inter-galactic importance.
Now the world can be saved at the flick of the wrist and the remote control. Kids will stop crying, damaged old pieces will die immediately, Pakistan terrorists will jump into the Indian Ocean and kill themselves in the tornado that Gabtun re-directed there from Arizona. Aal Praablam salved attu tha touch aaf yae button. Gabtun TV is here. Aaauuunnn. What more do you want?
THIS doesn’t get me to write a post, what will?
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