求帮忙，一个简单的英语小故事，要翻译
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen."一位女士抱着她的宝宝上公交车，司机看到后说：“额，那是我这辈子见过的最丑的小孩。”The woman walks to...
这个英语故事叫什么啊
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In my mind, everyone shall have his own dream. I think that having a dream means that we have an idea, and then we will do all the things to achieve the target. As long as we have a goal to be realize...
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this is two dogs
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扫描下载二维码简单英语幽默笑话带翻译
简单英语幽默笑话带翻译
来源:笑话网
　　The preacher was vexed because a certain member of his congregation always fell asleep during the sermon.
　　As the man was snoring in the front row one Sunday, the preacher determined he would teach him not to sleep during the sermon. So, in a whisper, he asked the congreg
　　ation. &All who want to go to heaven，please rise.& Everyone got up except the snorer. After whispering &Be seated&, the minister shouted at the top of his voiced, &All those who want to be with the devil, please rise.&
　　Awaking with a start, the sleepy-head jumped to his feet and saw the preacher standing tall and angry in the pulpit, &Well, sir,& he said, &I don't know what we're voting on, but it looks like you and me are the only ones for it.&
　　瞌睡者
　　牧师非常生气，因为总有一个人在他说教时打瞌睡。一个星期天，正当坐在前排的那个人又在瞌睡时，牧师决定要好好教育他一下，让他不要再在布道时睡觉。于是他低声对信徒们说：&想去天堂的人，都请站起来吧。&所有的人都站了起来&&当然，除了那个打瞌睡的人。在低声说过请坐后，牧师高声喊道：&想去下地狱的人请站起来!&打瞌睡的人被这突然的喊叫声惊醒了，他站了起来。看到牧师高站在教坛上，正生气的看着他。这个人说道：&噢，先生，我不知道我们在选什么，但看上去只有你和我是候选人。&
　　Logic Reasoning
　　A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson on logic.
　　&Here is the situation,& she said. &a man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yellin
　　g for help. His wife hears the commotion, knows that he can't swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?&
　　A girl raised her hand and asked, &to draw out all of his savings?&
　　逻辑推理
　　小学四年级的教师正在给学生们上一堂逻辑课。她举了这么一个例子：&有这样一种情况，一个男人在河中心的船上钓鱼，突然失去重心掉进了水里。于是他开始挣扎并喊救命。他的妻子听到了他的喊声，知道他并不会游泳，所以她就急忙跑向河岸。谁能告诉我这是为什么?& 一个女生举手答道，&是不是去取他的存款?&
　　[注]bank在英语中除了我们平时很熟悉的&银行&之外，还有&河岸&的意思。
　　Goethes Tolerance
　　Goethe was once strolling on a narrow path in a park in Weimar. As luck would have it, he met with a critic who was hostile to him. Both of them stopped, staring at each other. Then the critic said, &I'll never make way for a fool.& &But I will,& with that Goethe retreated aside.
　　歌德的容忍
　　一次，歌德正在魏玛一个公园的一条狭窄小道上散步。碰巧他遇见一个对他怀有敌意的评论家。两人都停了下来，彼此相互对视。接着评论家说道：&我从来不给傻瓜让路。& &可我给。&说完歌德退到了一边。
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点击加载更多　　英语要是不好，真的连笑话都看不懂哦!　　1. A programmer&s wife tells him: &Run to the store and pick up a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen.& The programmer comes home with 12 loaves of bread.　　程序猿的老婆告诉他：&你去商店给老娘买一条面包。如果他们有鸡蛋，你就带1打回来。&结果，程序猿回家的时候，带了12条长面包。　　Hint：程序猿都清楚IF语句。如果条件成立，那么怎么怎么样。商店里面一定有鸡蛋哈哈哈。　　2. A mathematician wanders back home at 3a.m. and proceeds to get an earful from his wife.　　&You&re late!& she yells. &You said you&d be home by 11:45!&　　&Actually,& the mathematician replies coolly, &I said I&d be home by a quarter of 12.&　　一个数学家在晚上3点时徘徊着回家，结果被老婆骂了一顿。　　&你特么怎么这么晚!&她大喊道：&你说你会11点45分前回来的!&　　&事实上&&&这位数学家蛋定地回复到：&我说的是在&12的四分之一&也就是3点回来&　　Hint：a quarter是四分之一的意思，目测数学家今晚要跪搓衣板。　　3. Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac? He stayed up all night wondering if there was a dog.　　你听说过诵读困难者，不可知论失眠症患者吗?哦知道，他整完不睡觉都在想世界上到底有没有&狗&的存在。　　Hint：用一个很怪异的故事解释了这三个词的含义，典型的美式幽默，不正经地说一件正经的事情　　4. You blew up your chemistry experiment? It&s OK, oxidants happen.　　你做实验的时候炸了?没事的，氧化总会发生。　　Hint：其实意思是说意外总会有的，英语中谐音oxidant=accident　　5. Your momma is so mean& she has nostandard deviation.　　你妈妈太吝啬了&&一点均方差都没有。　　Hint：mean另外一个意思是平均数，与standard deviation同为数学名词，用了双关　　6. What&s the difference between anetymologist and an entomologist?& An etymologist knows the difference.　　语源学者和昆虫学者中间的差别是什么?语源学者知道差别。　　Hint：etymologist和entomologist 两个单词读音非常接近但有不同，回答者鸡智地说研究词语来源的语源学者知道这个不同点。　　7. How many Marxists does it take to screwin a light bulb? None: the light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution文章出自，转载请保留此链接！　　需要多少马克思主义者才能拧&上&这个灯泡呢?一个都不需要：灯泡自己有革命的种子(指灯泡自己会转进去)。　　Hint：讽刺那些空谈家，自行百度Light bulb joke　　8. The other day my friend was telling me that I didn&t understand what irony meant. Which is ironic, because we were standing at a bus stop.　　有一天，我朋友正问我irony什么意思，真是让人啼笑皆非，因为我们当时就站在公交车站上!　　Hint：irony有两个意思，&讽刺冷嘲&和&铁的&。　　9. A man is talking to God. &God, how longis a million years?&　　God answers, &To me, it&s about a minute.&　　&God, how much is a million dollars?&　　&To me, it&s a penny.&　　&God, may I have a penny?&　　&Wait a minute.&　　一个人对上帝说：&上帝啊，一百万年有多长?&　　&对我来说，就像一分钟那么短。&上帝回答道。　　&那&&上帝啊，一百万刀到底是多少啊?&　　&对我来说就差不多是一便士吧。&　　&那上帝，能给我一便士吗?&　　&稍等一分钟&&&　　Hint：哈哈哈哈哈，上帝说的一分钟可是一百万年啊&&　　10. A photon checks into a hotel and the porter asks him if he has any luggage. The photon replies: &No, I&m travelling light.&　　一个光子入驻酒店，行李搬运工问他是否有行李。光子说：&没有，我轻装便行的。&　　Hint：light是即指轻的，又指光。又是一次双关。最近更新：看完本文，记得打分哦：很好下载Doc格式文档马上分享给朋友：?知道苹果代表什么吗实用文章，深受网友追捧比较有用，值得网友借鉴没有价值，写作仍需努力相关笑话大全：网友评论
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